After pondering really intently, looking for other opportunities, leaving something I love truly eats really  horribly at me.  
But, I feel the time is right, and I must do this. I'm sure many may be surprised by this announcement, but if you really read my message, I'm sure you will fully understand what I'm trying to say.

Even though this is a sad attempt at an April fools joke, we all know that true man-whores like us never really retire. We may take breaks and hiatuses but we always return in some way, shape or fashion.
I look forward to reading your 222nd review...

Specifically the first letters in several of the words. I will never retire, I love the hobby way too much for that.

You had me going..... I'm going to steal your idea for next year. I absolutely LOVE pranks like this!  Ha!

A Prank Really Irresistibly Low For Odious Onerous Lowlifes Screaming Down Amiable Yarns ... such as myself who along with many people yell Shenanigans about your story Sir Der441,

Same sex bathtub engagement photos!
I dislike those stuffy posed pics people post that were obviously made at SEARS.