I stopped at the local Walgreen's to pick up some condoms...got to the register and the dude behind the register asked if I wanted a paper bag....With a straight face I looked him in the eyes and said "Nope, she pretty f'n hot..no need for a bag"

Poor kid was so shocked, I think it went over his head.

his comeback should have been... "I meant for you, not her"

That's funny.

I was slick when I asked a cute cashier which brand condom she preferred. (She quickly rang up the two boxes and "made" me pay for them)

when I was getting some condoms once the clerk gave me the price off the screen and said the tax would be extra and I couldn't resist - I said I don't need and tacks but thanks.