For those of us who feel it, how do you deal with it? For those who who don't feel it, why don't you feel it?

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He who feels it, knows it.

I think. Lol

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But not at work.  They call that sexual harassment.  

Wait - what "it" are we referring to exactly?

just sayin

At work, at lunch break, all I hear is:  I took my kids to the park, I was at my daughter's graduation, I took my wife to... My husband did this...All I hear is my son, my daughter, my wife, my husband...

Meanwhile, all I am thinking about is the wonderful hour I spent with the sultry Ms X, all I am thinking about is my next meeting another sultry Ms X, but of course I can't share it...

-- Modified on 7/12/2015 1:25:29 AM

Lol! That is so true...

I understand completely what you're talking about. Most of us are living double lives and while it's exhilarating on one hand, it can be very isolating on the other because there is no one we can truly share this side of ourselves with outside of "this" community.

I've had similar situations where people around me are talking about upcoming vacations, graduations, etc and all I can think about is the wonderful time I had with my favorite provider and finding more time to revisit them.  

I think you'd be surprised at the number of people besides ourselves that also lead double lives. Most everyone has something to hide but to answer your question, I've taught myself to deal with this sense of duality by just embracing it. While Bob is telling me some mundane story about his weekend, I relish the fact that I have so many hot memories from my experiences in the hobby to retreat to. I guess you could say that Mr. Hyde kinda keeps me sane in a world full of responsibilities, taxes and Bobs.

Ah - gotcha.  Yes, I understand your premise now.  

Hmmm.  I guess I would say that it's pretty normal for me.  I've lived in my own fantasy world for so long the real world/fantasy world dichotomy is a fundamental part of who I am.  And for me the hobby just naturally falls into that model.  What is the hobby if it isn't fantasy, after all?  It's typical for me to be fantasizing about my next role play as someone is sharing their stories about the latest family reunion.  Most people call that daydreaming but I would call it multitasking.

I do think everyone has some aspect of a secret life.  I never thought about it using the Jekyll and Hyde analogy.  Interesting.  I never let one side competely take over.  I would say I'm more in line with "the Matrix".  Here's the part where you yell "nerd!".  LOL.  I believe that reality is malleable into whatever you want to make it.  Fantasy, belief, creative expression, kink, ingenuity, role play - they're all different aspects of the same thing.  It is one of the driving forces for anything of beauty that is created.

All humans have some need - some inner spark - that makes them get out of bed in the morning.  For some it's their significant other, or their kids, for some it's the need to be in the spotlight and make people laugh or feel something, for some it is building something useful and creative or contribute to society.

And for some it's the need for a really good blowjob.

 

I don't tend to separate my desires or my sexual self from any other part of myself. I just see it as a natural part of who I am. So, there is no alter-ego that is different from who I "normally am".  

Since getting separated/divorced, I have civvie-dated quite a bit, and had hobby dates as well. I don't find myself behaving appreciably different in either scenario. I talk about dates with my friends, most of them married, and they live vicariously through me at times. Of course, I don't advertise which dates are "hobby dates", but with a few friends I can be honest about it.  

I guess I just don't need an "alter-ego".

She will let you know if it's real

-- Modified on 7/12/2015 10:14:49 AM

You are probably right!  The Matrix analogy would be more suited, as antares and me is not necessarily an extrapolation,  just two different personalities with different needs. I just wish I could be both without problems. Building something useful, contributing to society, and having my weekly good blowjob with a lady of my choice  without feeling any guilt.  

Thanks for the input!

The entire premise of hobby is to get rid of drama not to create it.  

Growing some balls and walking away from unsavory encounters is the right thing to do instead of fully engaging in it and then complaining.

Some of you here act like you are in high school

You are right! Fully embarrassing it is the best alternative. After all some of the ladies I see know all about me and they are just fine with it. Happy hobbying!

Thanks for the input!

Each year when I go for my annual check up, I can't help but think about Edward Norton and Richard Gere in Primal Fear. Lol

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Well, I don't know if can do that. You are lucky!

Happy Hobbying and thanks for the input!

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I too don't have anything even close to a double life, but it's not luck that allows this.  

I am very happily divorced, I own my own company and I am not the least bit ashamed about my whore mongering proclivities. Hence, I have no reason to lie. I honestly can't imagine having to live my life as a lie. I don't envy you guys (and ladies) who do.

Are you talking to me young lady?

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I am not feeling guilty because I am having my cock sucked, I am not feeling guilty because I love having my cock sucked. I am feeling guilty because I am not obeying the damn law invented by some us; laws that I have to obey or I can possibly end up  losing my job, my wife, my family, my social status, everything I spent the last twenty years building. 
 
Feeling guilty here, just as fear is just an instinct of conservation. No matter how confident I feel about a provider, I will never walk in her place , just as I walk in in a Starbucks to get my daily cappuccino. It's different. Why? Because there is law, a  social contract, that as a member, I have to obey. If I can't obey, then the  least I can do is to maintain a low profile

The law may  not be universal but here  in Atlanta, lol, well, I will make sure I am as discreet as possible, hence, I need an alter-ago. I am not fake, I am not lying, I am discreet, I am wise..

and discovered it's a giant red star-- it's diameter would extend out beyond Mars if it was centered where our sun is.  Giant Red Stars burn themselves out-- very hot, but they die young.  So, metaphorically speaking, seems to me you're standing on a slippery slope-- hope you maintain a steady footing; hoping same for self.

About the 300-500 dollars,  not about Antares or Tartus...

-- Modified on 7/14/2015 1:11:01 AM

Hmmm...?   And here I thought it was he who smelt it dealt it.

As I said luck has NOTHING to do with the fact that I can walk into a hookers room with every bit as much confidence as you do Starbucks.  

You made the choice to cheat on your wife, you made the choice to get a job where you can be fired for simply seeing a hooker on your own time. You made the choice to allow society to dictate to you what you can and cannot do. I also made choices, and my choices allow me to do this without any need for an "alter ego" Every one in both my personal and my private life knows I see hookers and I don't have the least bit of shame about it. So please don't talk to me about luck.

when he puts on the "Antares" suit he "feels" like superman because he knows he can just walk right up and fuck a model material woman on a whim.  He gets the rush of excitement because he is breaking accepted society mores.

it is what it is!

-- Modified on 7/14/2015 4:07:45 AM

and I got the distinct impression that rather than feeling like Superman, he actually still feels guilt and that even as Antares he still can't shake that guilt 100% although it helps.

I think a lot of guys have a sense of shame over seeing hookers, I am just one of those guys who doesn't share that shame and can enjoy what I do in the complete light of day.

I got over that pretty quick, but I thought he was getting supercharged with confidence when he is Antares.  I gotta admit, I get a kick out this shit too.

No disrespect t to F69 though

Well said Irishjap

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Thanks foguete69