A very nice newbie booked 90 minutes we talked maybe five he was very nervous brought wine and was 42 it was his first time and he could not go through it .....he still paid me in full $600 should of I returned most of it? I sent him an e-mail and told him if he ever changed his mind and we were in the same place again to call me and it would be free time ......I did not know the amount he left until he left and tried to call him but no answer......I did miss another date for him but still feel guilty now.....any suggestions on what I should do I want to do the right thing.....
you need to consider lost opportunity costs: you booked in expectation the appointment would happen and thus lost other opportunities that you could have considered. so i don't think it was wrong to keep the payment.
if i meet someone for the first time, i'm usually nervous, and if chemistry isn't working out, i try talking more and if it goes nowhere i leave without expecting a refund.
BUT a refund is always a nice gesture. i once booked a long occasion and the lady started to have an issue with plummeting blood sugar, couldn't finish the 2nd half of the appointment. she insisted i take half of the fee back. i was really impressed. i continue to see her when possible.
so i think that it isn't so much a matter of right or wrong. rather: is what you did defensible? i think it is. you offered to make it up to him on another occasion.
If he stayed the whole time you owe nothing . He paid for time and time alone 
5 minutes at most
YIKES! Well if he comes back tell him he has credit with you and I hope
he returns.
You did the right thing to try to return most of his donation.
You showed how classy you are by even thinking about returning most of his donation and feeling bad about not being able to do so successfully.
For every one girl who thinks like you, there are probably 499 others who would have kept the money and not given it a second thought.
I hope you're able to successfully return his donation at some later date.
I think you did right. Just like everybody said. Wasn't your fault he changed his mind. He still used your time. But it is a good jesture that you offered him some free time if he prefers. I believe most of us realize this is a non-refundable service. You could have given him a portion back but as you said you didn't even know how much he left till he was gone. He may be back if he don't feel too embarassed.
Part of me says, you did the right thing. The other part of me acknowledges that he booked 90 minutes so you could not see anyone else during that time period.
The offering of another appointment for free is acceptable in my view. Everyone needs to look at the perspective of your loss of time for that decision of his, not yours.
Even though he did not use your services he kept you from seeing anyone else.
My clients get special deals, extra time lots of perks but he was a first time client and you have no idea if he has done this before.
I'm guessing he's embarrassed. You did a classy thing. I'll bet he appreciates it but doesn't take you up on your offer.
Wow, ladies have all kinds of experiences I'd never think they would.
You did the right thing..
He never returned my e-mail ......so the ball is in court now .......the closest I had to another like well , same kinda like experience was I was in Philly at the Ritz and this Irish guy calls and wants an outcall I say where are you staying he too was at the same hotel 10 floors down ...so I said I have a suite very nice why not come up and save the extra $100 fee for outcall? He said I would rather you come to my room so I did ......he was very stiff not in a good way} but I tried to lighten him up asked about his country ect......and slipped into something sexy when I came out he was still standing in his heavy hotel robe just standing there so I said lets lay down I gave him a couple of kisses which were not returned awkward..... and then he said "OH NO " He had cum ....so I tried to make him fell better by just holding him but he said thats all I got in me......so I said look you just spent $500 and I am upstairs if you want to come up later just call me and its free I waited and he never called in this case I rhink he was embarrassed......I do not want anything handed to me for free I grew up very middle class and know how hard money is to come by and would rather earn it but sometimes we have no control over what happens and those appointments leave you feeling sad for the client......well guys up early catching my flight depending how tomorrow go's it might be awhile before I can come visit you all again so have fun keep it real and hopefully soon I will return with good news.....kisses Victoria
I agree that you did the right thing in a very classy way. We don't know what personal pressures he has. We don't know why he decided to start hobbying. For most of us the decision was made by our thing with a mind of its own and we never look back. However, many men have a different set of ethics regarding the hobby. For example, maybe his SO has recently passed away and you were the first woman he had tried to have a relationship with. Perhaps he could not overcome his loyalty to her. I can think of a half dozen similar reasons.
He was lucky that he chose such a classy lady. I imagine that if he told you why he could not continue that you would have immediately switched into his friend and counselor so he could talk about his problems. Too bad he did not want to talk about it.
You did the right thing.
thanks huggy bear I was worried about you we all were do not scare us again ....glad to see your back here kisses V its early waiting for mom and dad to pick me me up in 20 minutes to head to the hospital today is the big day nervous yes but glad to get it over with I know its going to be okay just feel it inside......see you all when I am able to heck it might just be a walk in the park !People with real issues like you inspire me to be a better person !
First off dont feel guilty. You were holding up your end of the bargain. And he learnt something, he isnt cut out for the hobby. You did call, and email and I dont think you could do anything else to 'make it right', in your mind. If he has decided to skip the hobby life then he would probably appriciate just leaving it drop. He did right by you in his mind and in mine. And if he changes hid mind he knows he can contact you again. What you do then is totally up to you. It is very nice to see a lady that is, how can I say this, with heart. Not sure if that is the right word, but its a very good thing. I have been offered money back on occasion, but have never accepted it. My problem is not her problem.
You could even say he got a bargain, and he owes a lot of it to you.
Still and all, I do feel bad for the guy.
me too...... the envelope came from the Trump tower and I had stayed there the night before a beautiful high-end place so at least I feel better knowing he could afford the loss.......somewhat easier for me to handle knowing he was staying there..... BTW that hotel is amazing...... say what you want about Donald Trump but the man has it together when building a first class hotel the suite I visited was just like an apartment the view was out of this world spacious and luxurious.....I would love to stay there but most of those places hay key security only, which is not great for clients or myself ........
I stayed there myself, as well as visited someone there. I love the set ups in the rooms
the doors that lead into the bathrooms , the way the guest services walk you up if you are
a lady visiting a man, and the lounge is sweet too. Its classy .
What a board. We get hotel and travel recommendations as well as advice on relationships. And it's only a couple of months old
... and it just took an order of magnitude jump.
Here is my take. You have done all you could and have shown great class!
In reality he is going through many conflicting thoughts. First weather or not the hobby is for him. And next the embarrassment of the moment. Even though you would welcome him and not pass judgment he would still be embarrassed to confront the moment again with you. Easier to avoid and try someone else if he decides to give it another try.
In one of your other post's you asked about our outlook on life. I think as we get older less things embarrass us but when it comes to women we still have butterflies on that first meeting!