Gentleman,

I'm in my early 50's and when I get wood its rock hard.  So no problems there.  The problem I'm having is getting in the mental frame of mind to get wood.  I've had some erotic body massages and when I was younger I'd have been standing at attention. These days, it doesn't do it for me.  I'm wired as a pleaser and pleasing a woman is what gets me going.  Whereas, her doing things to me....not so much.  

If I'm able to rub her pussy...that will do it for me too.  I need to touch her to get wood.

Is this something all guys go through as they age or is it more to do with how I'm mentally wired?

My T level is on the low side of the normal range.  I've been considering talking to the doc about getting a patch or something and trying to get more in the middle of the range.  Mainly because I suspect I'll get hornier easier.

Would love to hear your experiences.  Just wondering what's going on.

for me it's mental: thinking of her reaction to my touch is enough to bring me to attention.

It may be partially a subconcious desire to be in charge, which is probably common in men.

No worries; if you mention it to her, I am sure she won't mind.

Oh, And I would not fix what is not broken. Just enjoy what you have. Seems healthy enough to me.

Thanks.  Yes, I get morning wood, etc.  No ed problems at all.  Its just getting myself in the mood is tougher

Because of a misdiagnosis by a urologist I was given a shot that knocked out the production of Testosterone for months. I couldn't get an erection but with talented women I was able to get an orgasm.But, more to your point I doubt you will find many escorts who won't let you pleasure them. Check the reviews of the escorts and you can see what they allow.  Also, yes you should see your Doctor for his advice. Messing with T can have some serious drawbacks. Good luck, you can have many years of great sex if you want it.

Right around 50 is when I began to notice changes in my sexuality.  Not necessarily anything I couldn't deal with, but changes nevertheless from the way I'd always been.  Sounds like you have a good handle on what turns you on, so be glad about that and don't be shy about asking your ladies to provide what you need.  They are generally delighted to comply.

I'm an attentive lover, exactly like you. So for me to get hard, a lady has to appreciate my attentiveness. The majority of ladies out there are in it for the money. Out of those, the best ones can turn on the charm, and are great actresses. That usually doesn't work. However, there is a smaller contingent of ladies out there, who are in it, not only for the money, but because they really like sex. To find those ladies is always my quest, especially being an older gentleman. It's so easy to distinguish between the two types of ladies. Your rock hard cock is the first sign. One has to go through one's share of actresses, but every so often a gentleman finds that highly charged gem. And there you have your atf. If you're lucky, two or three. I know all the guys say that all the ladies fake it, but I'm here to tell you that there are a number of wild gems out there. Good luck in your quest!

I think you need someone who is going to trigger your blood flow. Alot of fourplay can help so just find you someone who is willing to experiment with you and just relax.

Thank you for sharing your experiences.  It sounds like we are a lot alike.  

Its gotten harder (no pun intended) for me of late to get in the right frame of mind.  I've been going for massages which is a hit or miss as far as if enough happens to get me turned on. She could be naked sliding all over my back and it may not do it.  But if I can touch her kitty...then I'm good to go.  Its that whole need to please thing.  I'd really like to get over that.  

I've seen one escort and as soon as we started kissing it was game on.  So very different experiences.  

Apparently I tend to need the GFE

I've had the same experience.  A woman's touch doesn't seem to excite me to any great degree any more so I usually ask if I can give her a massage.  For some strange reason rubbing her back and butt gets my blood going and once junior wakes up even her touch becomes exciting for me.  Don't worry about it.  Just go with the flow.