At our age, some of us may get a bit too complacent about the consequences of this hobby.  A lovely, wonderful gal just yesterday reminded me of this fact.  I'm sure none of us want this to happen to us, or more importantly, to our wife or SO.    

Any forgiving, understanding, or non-judgmental stories out there?    

And, by the way, there are a lot worse things that could happen to us.  Just look at Patsy's life.

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guess I still haven't figured out all this tech. stuff.  I took out the extra http.

Good for you for being aware and thoughtful.  Too bad for your friend, but a spouse who spies and secretly checks his phone and whereabouts may be just as unethical as the cheater!   But, I'm probably just rationalizing.  If she suspects an issue or a problem, why not just ask about it and have a reasonable discussion?    

 Nothing good ever comes from spying, prying, tracking or tracing your spouse.   On the other hand, providers often give us new ideas for the bedroom, confidence, and incentive to better our physical appearance.   Not to mention the extra energy and stamina that we get from the anticipation of an upcoming encounter.

Hobby phone, hobby email.  Delete browsing history.  Never Use adult sites if others are in the building.  These are all discussed at length on these boards (particularly the Newbie board) but too many hobbiests are unaware of TER.

"Delete browsing history".....use Firefox and use their "Private Window" feature.

In a Private Browsing window, Firefox won't keep any browser history, search history, download history, web form history, cookies, or temporary internet files. However, files you download and bookmarks you make will be kept.

This song was written by Hank Williams Sr. about his first wife (interestingly enough, while driving along with his fiancée.)

I suppose the lesson is apropos to both sexes.  Hearts will be hearts, after all.

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That is rough, and it is wrong for one spouse to spy on another. There's no equivalence though. Spying is nowhere near as serious as breaking your vows (cheating). Either behavior certainly suggests something is wrong in the marriage. But sometimes there is no way to fix it or cope other than the secret hobby, for those unwilling to go the divorce route.

Reasonable discussion? Unlikely. How many hobbyists will do anything other than deny it? None I think. I know I wouldn't. Admitting it would be the same as getting caught.

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