... and high-tide hormones to make up for their lack of sense and experience.
The cliché is that old people get conservative and narrow-minded. That hasn't been me in any area, certainly not sexually. I was painfully shy and repressed when young, then quite vanilla for much of my life, but the last few years I find I'm interested in exploring things I never used to think of, and little kinks that I used to feel embarrassed about I accept and appreciate now. I think it's part of getting more comfortable in my own skin and sorting out a little more what really matters in life.
Has anybody else had the same experience?
I have always been pretty open-minded, and being exposed to various kinky subjects here and also from meeting providers willing to share their kinky side with me has been the main reason.
Another wonderful benefit of the hobby and a forum like TER in general.
Makes you really wonder why Ragin' Boner's are Wasted on The Young !!!!!
Nature is a cruel SOB !!!!
... and high-tide hormones to make up for their lack of sense and experience.
I think I would have gotten a little kinkier even without being involved in the hobby, just because of becoming more accepting of myself with age and experience. But I'm sure I wouldn't have had as much possibility of actually exploring some of these things.
We had been married for 25 years or so. Good companion, fun, not kinky, bed partner, still blew me on a regular basis.
One evening I could tell she wanted to ask me a question but wasn't sure how to. Finally I said fire away. Deep breath, thoughtful sigh, "I want to try another woman." Of course you worry this might be a trap, so i resisted the urge to do a happy dance. Asked why is that, so she explained.
We quickly learned that there is a reason single women who are interested in a couple are called Unicorns. They may exist it's just people never seem to see them. Paid provider was never going to be an option.
We decided to try swinging or "lifestyle" at Desire, an erotic resort in Mexico. We had read that a lot of "lifestyle" people went that way, lifestyle, to set up female/female. Nervous at first, met a great couple who were very experienced in this. They got off on popping our cherries. My wife got her f/f experience. At one point the other guy was banging her from behind, while she was going down on his wife, who was blowing me. If your gonna take a walk on the wild side do it right.
So for about six years we continue to see couples that we have met at Desire or have been introduced to their like minded friends. New years was a six couple group experience. Brought in the year with a bang.
Has anybody else had the same experience?
... more open-minded. And hornier. I'm a lot hornier now than I was 20-30 years ago. Maybe because then I was working 80-100 hour weeks, raising kids, traveling a lot etc.
I too was painfully shy when young, but I broke out of that at around 19. Then ~20 years ago my wife shut off the intimacy--sex, kissing, cuddling, everything--and I had a 15-year dry spell. So maybe my super-horniness now is nature's way of making up for lost time.
... about being hornier. I wouldn't say I'm hornier than when I was a young man, but compared to 5 or 10 or 20 years ago, yes. I think in my case it's connected with very belatedly starting to work out, as well as gaining some self-confidence.
Yes, and I also have the hobby, as well as our lovely providers to thank for bringing out the kinkier side of me. LOL
Even though I've been open minded from way back, I was also very shy in my younger days so exploring new things were more difficult for me during those early days. Needless to say, when I ventured into the hobby in my mid-40s and started meeting some very uninhibited providers along the way, they opened up a whole new world to explore.
...as I wasn't able to sample diverse pleasures before getting into a committed relationship at 22 which led to a marriage that turned into a 20-year sentence. Very little sex during that time, all lights-on missionary, once every 4-6 weeks (if I was lucky) and NO bjs in all that time.
Once I was released back into the wild at age 38, I started exploring and finding out what I'd been missing for so long. As Dr Suess said. "Oh! The Places You'll Go"
As ive gotten older and now have more time for myself. I do find I want to explore more things that I have never experienced before. I have also opened up more and worried less about what someone else will think about what I do, so am more willing to let myself go and enjoy it all.
That most kinky-polyamorous people are 40 and up. As a 22 year old poly person I'm a rarity. From what I've observed, older people are more comfortable with their bodies, exploring boundaries and so it seems to me that older people are kinker.
It's odd in a way, but maybe not so odd, that I am more comfortable with my body, even like how I look more, and enjoy the things I'm capable of more in my 60s than in my 20s. But that's definitely how it is. And for sure I'm more comfortable with exploring and more interested.
I find that as you age, you find out what you like and don't like in the bedroom. Those things that seemed ridiculous in the past tends to not be so absurd. Trying new things seem very appealing.
Has anybody else had the same experience?
not the flasher kind, but just seeing that there are other options and that other people actually have fun doing things you never knew existed, or only thought existed in the pages of Penthouse Forum.
"Why don't you kiss her instead of talking her today death?!"
"Oh....youth is wasted on the wrong people!"
I've stopped wasting my vanishing youth.
I feel, like a kinkstress that has not hit her prime! lol Smile 4 me!
It's not the crazy things I did when I was young that I regret. It's the things I passed up or chickened out on (The Missed Opportunities ) That I regret the most.
I never expected to start this at the age of 70 but it is awesome-so yes I am kinkier than ever
or I now have an opportunity to bring my kinky side out.
I'm not new to this, but slowly getting back in after a long hiatus, and rethinking who I am sexually and what my life might yet be at 66 and counting. So I really appreciate your perspective.
And 1woody, I can so relate to what you say--"It's the things I passed up or chickened out on" that I regret as well.
there was no internet when I was 27......
I have a history a little like yours -- painfully shy as a young man, two wives I would describe now as repressed -- the hobby was an eye opener. All the providers I met did the usual positions my wives and girlfriends never would, and reading reviews I got ideas and found girls who would do more. Found one who loves what I started looking for and suggested more. My ATF is so wild I even have pics of one of our better sessions
I still have my limits and I think they really haven't changed from when I was young. Now I've done what I always secretly wanted to try. IOW I was thinking kink when young and now I've gone and done it.
Life is good.
For me....with age came kink! I am just glad it came along while I am still young enough to fully enjoy and embrace it! I was one of those quiet Catholic girls growing up so my naughty still has a lot of catching up to do.
For me...I turned the corner into the explorative world of kink when I was about to graduate from a all women's college. I felt like a phony having spent years SAYING I was open minded but never DOING something open minded. I had a wonderful interlude with a woman and many many adventures along the way from a very casual, light swing gathering to 3sums. It's all been a fabulous journey! The only down side for me is that it would be very difficult to be in a relationship personally with someone who was very conservative and less kinky. "Vanilla sex" can be very fulfilling but a steady diet of it...not that appealing anymore!
was tax deductible as a medical expence