Hi all, I'm a new provider and I just had a gentleman email me yesterday, provided me with the necessary screening information and we were able to set up an appointment from there. Then, once that was completed, he asked me if a specific service was on the menu. After the research I have done, both reading through these boards and talking with a few other providers, I was under the impression that you're not supposed to discuss these things until you meet for safety reasons. So that was my reply, and because of that, he cancelled on me. It might be for the best in the end, because while his references said he was polite, his emails with me seemed rather brusk.
So, was I in the wrong here? Again, it's not so much about losing this particular man as a client, but rather, will I lose more potential clients in the future if I stick to this policy of waiting to discuss particulars until we meet, even if they've been successfully screened?
He infringed the rule of no discussion of specific sexual acts.
You were more than polite to respond very civily to him. Many providers would just cut him off with no further contact.
I hope he is reading this and learns.
Stick to your guns and be safe.
Veteran respectful hobbyist know better. Even if the guy has written reviews, IMO, to ask about sexual services in an email is verboten.
Always go with your gut.
If you've screened him and feel comfortable about meeting him, some ladies do not have a problem discussing services.
I am probably rare but I let a guy talk about sex even before screening - not propositioning or anything but if a guy says "I really enjoy oral, how do you feel about it?" to me that is just making conversation.
If a guy says "How much for a bj?" that is a proposition and I hang up or delete the email.
There are lots of ways to screen, lots of ways to handle things - but the bottom line is you need to go with what you feel comfortable with and what makes you feel safe.
Dont worry about losing a client. Its better to lose a little money than risk your own personal safety or sanity.
The guy being brusk in his emails was probably a good indicator you should turn him away. I dont like pushy guys, so if he comes across as demanding, controlling, etc - I dont care how well he's been screened or how much money he's offering, I have no interest in him.
You are totally right in the way you handled him. Anyone will tell you it's never a good idea to discuss specific services on the phone, in text, or IM, especially if you have not seen the client before. It's not worth taking the chance.
Until you get reviews or unless you change your policy on this, you'll only get guys who are willing to take a shot in the dark. The lack of certain activities are deal breakers for many guys. If they wait until you meet before they ask, what do you expect them to do if your answer is no?
guys are going to wonder... and some may ask. But it is your right to decide to discuss in general terms or not at all.
Discussing money & sex = prostitution which is illegal in the US except in certain rural counties of Nevada. LE needs for you to say those few incrimnating words... there for most will say them. I've never found it necessary except perhaps whispered suggestion in her ear when we are alone in bed.
It was based in a thread posted by a provider where she stated "we are not mind readers, if you want something specific, don't wait until the session to ask"
What the thread suggests is that with providers that offer fetishes you HAVE to ask before the session, with standard GFE, not so much.
But with you I have no idea what you offer, you have no web site or reviews that I can tell of from your post. While most guys may not be interested in a fetish, knowing if you offer BBBJ or CBJ, MSOG, or GREEK is critical in making a decision. Also some girls that offer greek require advanced notice to prepare, and therefore you have to tell them that's what you are interested in - in advance.
If the guy was rude or too explicit you were right, if , after he was screened, he asked politely using the above acronyms, I would have to say you were wrong.
First, since you're using an ALIAS, there is no way for us to know if YOU are not LE yourself.
Second, if you do NOT have a website, then how are your clients supposed to know just what services you are offering? I would NOT waste a trip to see a supposedly new escort like yourself only to find out that your RESTRICTIONS include what I'm looking for.
Finally, if you really did SCREEN the client, then you should have nothing to worry about.
Chances are that the client thought YOU were LE based on your behavior. I don't blame him.
When I say "freely" I don't mean using the actual words but a pg rated version to get his point across is fine. He should have read your damn reviews or asked that before he made you go through the trouble though. If a guy simply asks, "Do you offer the Island tour" I will say, "read my reviews and not the upcharge." I won't flat out say, "Sure, you can fk me in the azz" lol. You probably offended him which is not so uncommon, but I would not worry about it. If he is that damn sensitive to you being cautious, probably would not make a great date anyway.
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