Hats off to those in unhappy relationships, who stay for kids, and because you're friends.
Not a sarcastic post, just giving you credit because it takes a lot to stay in a situation where you're not happy.Expect the assholes who insist that "their" happiness is, and will always be, paramount to bust your chops.
If more people took "self" out of many of lifes' equations, many volatile situations would come to a quicker resovle.
Most marriages break up due to one element either making selfish demands or just giving up.
I would think that most marriages end because they are based on a promise of forever and no one can predict forever
With children involved, THEY are what's important. No one can make another happy. One chooses to be happy or or miserable. With children in my life happiness ALWAYS abounds. IMO, those who choose otherwise shouldn't be parents. I take a HARDLINE on parenting. Luckily, so does my wife. Its not bye chance that I chose her
Sometimes it makes more sense to not live with someone if you are not showing them love.
I wouldn't want to be a kid growing up with parents who do not show any love to each other. If you and your wife show love, then fine.. I am not speaking about you. I just think saying, "we have kids. We have to stay together for them." Is beyond the most selfish thing to say. If parents argue daily or anything else more extreme, why would a child want to be raised in that environment?
.we're unhappy, some of us just aren't getting laid at home (by our best friends)...
we should thank you for allowing us to stay in a happy relationship by providing the missing ingredient at an hourly rate
Sometimes providing that takes a lot.
How many husbands stay faithful to their wives? In my circle of friends, not one has strayed. There have been two divorces and remarriages. Not for infidelity, just a bad marriage. Amongst acquaintances, a few had affairs with civvies. I'd say about thirty percent. I don't know if this is indicative of the general population. I wonder what the real percentage is.
In no way is this a judgement... simply an observation of my personal experience. I actually believe hobbying is a reasonable response to a sexless marriage as mentioned by the OP.
Not a sarcastic post, just giving you credit because it takes a lot to stay in a situation where you're not happy.
I don't know, but many children of divorce confess they wish their parents would have split...not the ones with parents who were good at hiding problems, obviously. I would never stay in a situation I was not happy in...rarely, are you doing anyone a favor. If the only way I could keep a man was because of bills and children, I would help him pack, not make threats of sole custody, and not try to bleed him dry in the process. That's just me, though.
I either want the whole fantasy, or none at all. Too many people think being married for x amount of years is some honor, but that is only if you actually keep the vows. How hard is it to stay married to a bitch when you're getting strange ass whenever you like? How hard is it to stay with a man you don't want to fk, because he hands you thousands to go on trips and shopping? Hmmm...
So, though I think it's honorable to stay for some men, others really should just pack up and leave. The same old shit of "it's for the kids" is growing a bit tired. RARELY is that the case today. Far too many people (men and women) are chicken shit to be alone, and afraid of the extra financial burden. Well, golly gee.
-- Modified on 11/13/2013 9:14:12 PM
I've seen plenty of good marriages. Sure, they have their rough patches. That's life. But they come out better for it. There is the right somebody out there for people. I agree that a truely bad marriage helps no one - especially the kids. And happiness may just be meeting one person away. Life is too short. Fill it with love and laughter!!!
-- Modified on 11/13/2013 6:24:51 PM
Just saying "it's cheaper to keep her" has no honor, I won't go so far as to judge, but to expand on London's post. I am very happy my parents chose to divorce rather than endure an unhappy existence "for my sake". and I personally am thrilled with how my life has turned out after getting a divorce, rather than becoming an unhappy liar and cheater having to live a lie every day, because I know that's what in store for me if I hadn't ended my marriage.
I don't mean to judge those who stray, but to say there is some kind of honor to it is bullshit. There is no honor to enduring an unhappy marriage and news flash, some of you who think you are skilled actors and the family has no clue, well some of you aren't as good an actor as you might think you are.
But what the fuck do I know? i am just a shallow, rutting pig, that wants to fuck every hot woman I come in contact with. Of course as a happily divorced man, I am free to act on those baser impulses. lol
the husband who likes, even loves his wife but the sex stopped? That's a grey area. I suppose the question comes down to... is he cheating himself out of happiness? I imagine it is scary to roll the dice and try to find love again. Really don't know the answer to this one. Probably different for everyone.
If you are married to NORMAL female and she is not fucking you, take a good look at yourself. See where YOU are failing as a man and as a husband.
If you are good in bed, decent looking and treat her with love and respect and she is still not fucking you - GET THE HELL AWAY FROM THAT INSANE BITCH.
but it is a pretty damn good one. lol
My wife would still fuck me when I decided to divorce her, the problem was, I didn't want her to. and I wasn't fucking anybody else. I will admit, I wouldn't have been faithful much longer if I hadn't asked for a divorce, and that why I really try not to judge other men for cheating. (I said TRY, I didn't say I always succeeded)
that breath of fresh air your slap in the face honesty brings. lol
xo
I LOVE THAT RESPONSE !!!! Looking at myself as I type......
I am not trying slam "cheaters" but to claim that cheating is honorable is just a giant crock of shit IMO when a lot of the time the guy is just a coward, scared of losing all his shit.
Of course in all fairness, it was't a cheating spouse that claimed it was honorable, it was an enabling hooker with a self serving ad, err I mean post.
I will confess when I reached that crossroads in my life and decided to escape a lifetime sentence of unhappyness, I had some of those same thoughts going through my mind, I came to that very conclusion, that by toughing it out, I would only be cheating myself our of any chance I might have had to be truly happy with my life.
Sex gives people a feeling of euphoria, it does not 'save' shit. You don't have sex for another person (your spouse), you have it for YOURSELF. Most marriages end because of selfishness in one form or the other. If we did nothing but think about the other person's needs and forsake our own, would that not solve a lot of issues? Believe it or not, there are people in this world who still get pleasure from putting others first...funny how happy one can become when they stop focusing on themselves.
Exactly. I hate weaklings. Put up or shut up, but stop with the "poor me" bullshit. No one is buying it, though we will still take the money lol. Cosette is new, but she will soon realize that 90 percent of guys will be feeding her this same story, and only 10 percent are actually not full of shit.
I think if reason prevailed in relationships (I know- hardly ever happens) many wives would give their hubbies permission to outsource sex from a professional. It's one small thing in a much larger partnership. But what's good for one should be good for the other. I think marriages built solely on sexual fidelity are doomed.
I'd never base a full time relationship purely on sex. I get bored too fast! My relationship would be built on a deep friendship and my partner's main skills would have to be to be able to make me laugh every day and to be an interesting enough conversationalist to talk with for long periods of time without feeling bored. Looks aren't even terribly important, but health is
I have, and have had the same problem. Even when still just dating before marriage, I always looked. I always wanted to fuck the hot chick at work, in the park, at the pool. None of my girl friends have ever stopped me from looking and wanting to act.
The extra financial burden matters. I like my life style. I want to be able to provide my kids with all the opportunities I can. Splitting my income, my retirement, and my house in half would not allow me to keep the life I value.
Sorry, but that is YOUR problem...not your wife's and certainly not your children's problem.
I agree 100%. I was "the child" in an unhappy marriage. My parents had me when my Mom was 16 and my Dad was 18. They tried to make it work, but they were kids when they got married and they should have never tried to stay together as long as they did. They were each very unhappy and stayed together for me and because that's what they were supposed to do. Well bullshit, even though I was young I picked up on the unhappiness and was unhappy myself. Then they got divorced and I was able to learn who each of my parents were, because they weren't putting up a facade anymore, they were being themselves. I never had kids, but I was once married and when I realized that I wasn't happy and after making a year and discussing that with my ex, we made an effort to work on our marriage to try to make it work. It didn't work out and we went our separate ways. We are still friends, we talk once or twice a month, we just couldn't live with one another. Staying together in a loveless unhappy marriage for any reason is just plain bullshit. Our lifetimes aren't long enough to spend time in an unhappy relationship. My ex has moved on and found someone that makes her happy, and I'm happiest being alone, except for the quality time I spend with providers, and then they leave. Bottom line is the vast majority of people can't mask the fact that they are unhappy, everyone they know sees it and that unhappiness in a parent is much worse to a child than the parents getting divorced and being happy and loving them instead of staying in the marriage and perhaps one day resenting their children for being the thing that kept them in a bad marriage. That's my opinion, I didn't charge you for it and that's what it's worth.
I stayed for the kids but not primarily for their benefit. I've done enough reading to know they are resilient enough to thrive as well post-divorce as they might in an unhappy home. I stayed because I wanted to stay part of my kids' every day lives. I didn't want to be a weekend dad.
Wife and I didn't fight in front of the kids. We needled some, the last-word-syndrome, in a minor and clean version of the Needlers on Saturday Night Live. But we were both good parents and pretty good companions on most things --- friends without benefits. I just have to go elsewhere for sex.
My regret about that decision is that the kids did not see their parents engage in non-sexual physical affection, like hugs or holding hands. We both hugged THEM, but not each other.
I respect those who have balls to say
"Honey, here is half my stuff now go make someone else miserable"
Actually I said "Honey, here is ALL my shit, now go make someone else miserable" and believe me, it was worth every dime.
and then just in case she had any ideas about getting any of my future earnings (an idea that was later put into her head by some "man hating" friends) I closed my business and went golfing for a year until the divorce was final, and no one who has ever seen me golf would have any thoughts that I was preparing for a future career on the senior tour, at my best i could barely break 80, but it was kind of fun not working for a year, well until was completely broke of course. lol
when I filed for divorce.
Life is too short to stay with people you don't want to be with.
Unless of course like you mentioned one spouse is physically/mentally disabled. Then it is truly an honorable thing to stand by them.
There are times that I could put an 80 up on the front 9...some of the courses I've played had lots and lots of water.
The good news is that I may have shot a 120....but I would also come home with another 20+ balls that I would fish out of the pond.
So I finally stopped keeping score by strokes...decided that if I came home with more balls I played well.
And if there was a hottie in the refreshment cart...life was really good!
and then just in case she had any ideas about getting any of my future earnings (an idea that was later put into her head by some "man hating" friends) I closed my business and went golfing for a year until the divorce was final, and no one who has ever seen me golf would have any thoughts that I was preparing for a future career on the senior tour, at my best i could barely break 80, but it was kind of fun not working for a year, well until was completely broke of course. lol
I pick my courses as much for the hot beverage girls as any other reason now a days, and If I shoot over a hundred, it doesn't bother me a bit. I'd much rather be happy shooting 100 than pissed because I shot 82, and that's where I am in my life right now.
I don't stoop so far as to fish ball out of the water, but I stopped buying the $12 a sleeve balata balls, and I am perfectly content with $20 a dozen "rock flights" as I used to call them back when I thought I knew how to play the game.
bare in mind . Those who live in glass houses should not throw stones. Let us judge not , but learn from example.
"Let those without sin throw the first stone"
A man knows when he is ready . If he ever is.
Understanding and kindness go along way
but then again I've seen a baseball bat work wonders.....ha ha ...just kidding...only in Good Fellows
Married Guys Rock! Thanks 4 Keeping Me In Business!
You Guys are the Shit!
with children is a partnership, a joint venture, a project. Breaking that structure, that cocoon of nurture nourishing and supporting the children, is a hellish task. Approached with regret, fear and loathing. So it is comparatively easy to "live separate lives", secret lives, while maintaining the framework and joint effort of parenthood, while playing the part for family, friends and even the kids.
For some, the need for a loving life partner, affection, tenderness, touching, lovemaking, yes: sport (joy) fucking....All that can become a consuming, distracting, disabling need. Hence, divorce. What is key? Keeping the cocoon sound, safe, warm, all the while as the storms of separation and resettlement and adjustment and financial strain threaten to split and tear and destroy precious cargo.
Someone once wished me a "happy divorce". I wanted to vomit, reading that, as a husband, as a father. Yet, I also knew the essential blessing in that sentiment, however brutally worded. I did.
No awards, or applause is appropriate in these cases. People have to make their own decisions. What's key is this: Keeping the cocoon intact. Keeping the kids loved, and protected, and (yes) disciplined. Directed. And: Informed.
Is it that people marry too young, without knowing who they will be when they mature more? And then they grow apart? Or is it that people didn't realize who they were marrying? Maybe they married too fast? Or is it that the sex and passion die?
Great post, by the way.
And it does work for some people. Usually not very complex ones.
For those with multitude of interests and desires (both carnal and non) finding that ONE person is nearly impossible.
And that's why people need to rethink this whole marriage thing!
that "arranged" marriages can last much longer than marriages based on love and sexual fidelity. In arranged marriages I don't think there is necessarily the assumption that the person arranged for you is going to be every single possible thing to you. So sexual wandering might not be as damaging as it would be to marriages based on those things. Arranged marriages are often "business" partnerships on some level; an agreement between families to produce offspring and continue a family line and fortune/business/whatever.
first response was to flat out ask for a divorce as my wife held a 1 year old in her arms, crying. Yeah. Then counseling, meanwhile starting in the hobby. Seven years and about 8 sex acts between us, later, with four years solid with no sex between us at all? Wow. Meanwhile, the cocoon is intact. Unruptured. Working as designed. So, how to separate and keep precious cargo protected? That is the work of saints, geniuses, lawyers - No: Loving parents.
But I neglected to say the obvious: Thanks to all who provided me comfort, met my needs so passionately, sweetly, professionally. Thanks!
Once you got to the point of asking for a divorce while she held the 1-year-old, did you dislike her as a person? Could the cocoon have remained if you were able to seek physical comfort elsewhere?
looking back, two things killed our romantic love. (I still love her but without desire, which is apple pie without the apples.) First: Communication failures. Utter failures. Second, but equally tragic: Sexual incompatibility. Toxic brew.
So, the little things we always ignore but dislike a bit in our partner, become a HUGE FUCKING DEAL. Like: She hates the way I eat popcorn. (Says I munch like an animal, almost gargle with it.) Like: I hate how she takes so damn long to serve food at any meal. (Doesn't matter if I help out or not. She moves like her toes were slugs.) So yeah, when the basic glue disintegrates, the alloy fractures and rusts.
But I do love her as I've said. And I keep all this shit (which is a mountain of shit btw) out of sight, out of mind. Out of home, out of gossip.
So if you had good communication, you might have been able to address things before they got really bad?
you could have communicated about that at the point you realized you had differing sexual needs, imagine this: say she agreed to let you meet those needs professionally with her blessing. Could you still be friends, partners and housemates, the children none the wiser?
you don't like her? That sounds familiar. My brother's marriage is like that. You can feel it in the air when you're in their house. Everyone can. My brother and his wife are oblivious to it. The kids think it's normal. Don't get me wrong. They are decent to each other and take good care of the kids. But you can still feel it when you're there.
just as thick as NY cheesecake. My wife sister and her husband, bickering over trivial things, nonstop, while commenting to others about each other. At least with my wife, we don't get that nasty. More like we don't talk and don't touch, but smile and say hello, etc.
My brother and his wife don't bicker. They are just like you described yourself. And it's still in the air.
blow up out household and lives with the immediate (irresponsibly delayed) divorce "strippersrus" screams is so bleeding humane.
Hi Softly Sarah, I'll make it short and to the point. A lot of marriages become unhappy because men marry women thinking they won't change and THEY DO! Women marry men thinking they will change and THEY DON'T! Ciao!
I think sex should be removed as a main consideration in a decision to marry. Marriages should be built with a clause to allow outsourcing to professionals- by either partner- and based on things that run deeper and stand the test of time better than passion.
First of all, there's an inherent contradiction in your scenario. If you're in a truly unhappy relationship you are not friends. As for "staying for the kids," if you're in a lousy relationship and are unhappy, you are doing them no favor. They can pick up on the toxic atmosphere and know something's wrong.
Better to get out, do it decently, try to remain friends with your SO and still be a good dad to the kids. It's possible. I did it. My kids are now happy, well-adjusted adults with decent values. They did not suffer from the divorce. The certainly would have be being raised by two unhappy parents. One size does not fit all
I just have heard this situation time and time again. Yes, I did hear it tonight.
them every time i heard this story )
What do you expect a client to say? "I love my wife we have great sex but I cheat on her with escorts because I am a dog"?
No you are going to hear "my wife does not understand me anymore she wont be with me ... so for the sake of children i HAVE to pay strangers to fuck me"
No divorce. We're not animali
You have to do what's right. You have to go home to the family. You got to go home, okay? Look at me.
You got to go home. Smarten up.
I'll talk to Karen.
I'll straighten this out.
I know just what to say to her.
I'll say you'll go back to her and it'll be like when you first got married.
I'll romance her. It'll be beautiful. I know how to talk to her
Not saying that her opinion isn't genuine, but intentionally or not, it is rather self serving.
I am rather pleased to see how many other providers are being rather candid with their opinions, and yes I am sure every woman here gets to hear this same story on a rather regular basis.
My story is much different, I am just a horndog who can't ever seem to get enough pussy.My story is more like, "I can't get seven different hot civvy women each week to fuck me, for free so I HAVE to pay strangers to fuck me" I can live with that. lol
I don't fucking do this as a job. Stop questioning my motives. The fact that you question them makes me think you aren't actually that liberated.
truth she gets "you are turning the men away with your attitude".
So in 99.99 percent you will get "self serving" responses. 0.01 applies to London and retired hookers
In this thread the number of non "self serving" responses is much lower than usual.
and yes I know that hookers are not really encouraged to be candid here. I guess it's the nature of it being a review board. Of course guys lie and suck up to the ladies here all the time as well, but those are just the manginas like the dungbeetle who barely qualify as male to begin with. lol
Around an excuse. You're not as cool as you think.
and making the point that you are pandering to your audience and potential customers is hardly an insult, it's simply stating the facts.
Don't think that you are alone in this, there have been blatant ads posted here on GD over the last few days that have all been pulled, and yes I insulted the hell out of those women for insulting our intelligence. My comments to you were hardly an insult, when I start insulting you I am pretty sure you will notice the difference.lmao
I'm cheap enough not to need it.
but to claim you aren't doing this as a job??? Get real, If you wanted to be a slut for free, you wouldn't bother with even a BP ad, or is this how you like to meet the men in your life?
I've been profiled as a rising entrepreneur in a major publication. Along with best of New York in NY Magazine. You want to brag about your accomplishments but don't think women may have them? I was making 6 figures by the time I was 25, if I reach out to a headhunter right now I would have an offer in less than 72 hours.
And I have done it for free. For 6 months I posted on CL for random hookups. But it actually wasn't fulfilling. This is fulfilling. I get to listen to men and their problems and make them feel better. And sexy.
I post on BP because not everyone I deem worthy of hooking up with has the means for $300 and above.
THAT'S ALL.
but your reviews seem to indicate that your suitors are less than impressed. Maybe you were the only one who was feeling better and/or sexy? Or maybe you'd be better off going back to your old job and fucking guys for free?
Whether it's 3 or 300. But in 6 months I've seen way more than 3 people. Does it hurt my feelings to be called fat or read it wasn't a good experience. YES. I'm human. Have I been thanked by more than 3 people significantly? YES.
There's no reason for me to not do this.
guys see providers as explained in many of the threads in this post; i.e. a physical need that isn't available at home whether it be because the wife/so is not interested or maybe the guy is single.
Sarah's solution is the best, see a professional which is what hobbyists do. Affairs are too risky for many reasons.
But yes, I'm 30 years old. I don't believe marriage is necessary. I can't have kids. So in the last year I've come to be scared (three times to be exact) to the fact that it precludes me from having these relationships that most seem to have. I'll never "encourage" anyone to marry me. We will never have kids to keep us together. Will I forever float aimlessly?
Of course this isn't on my mind all the time, but from time to time, yes, it freaking pecks at it.
Yes, of course I"m responding to your post. Sounds like you didn't read your own post.
I lived for well over 6 years in a marriage where the wife was simply waiting for me to blink first.
She was betting I'd either eventually lose my temper thus giving the upper hand in a divorce, or I'd simply walk leaving her the house. Rather than do either I soulfully told her one day that
"Although our marriage was a loveless, meaningless trial I accepted that it was how destiny must have planned, and I was quietly resigned to live the remainder of my life this way if need be".
THREE months later I came home late one Sunday afternoon after spending the day with a close friend and found she and her over indulged daughter; forever GONE! And thanks to the sly(but totally legal) way I purchased the home she had no recourse but to take her name off the mortgage, and I reside here still.
If TER and the 'Hobby' as we now know it existed when I was a young adult I would NEVER have married in the first place.
I now look at young men starting 'families' and shake my head at how our entire system of societal engineering has shackled these poor sods into a lifetime of slavery to our cultures construct.
LONG LIVE TER & THE HOBBY!
to enter a committed relationship, and to stay in it, is HOPE. Hope for a better future, a better life, etc. People stay together when there is great hope; they part when there is not enough remaining.
I think there must be many people who have lost that hope in one small part of their relationship, yet retain great hope in all of the other aspects of importance. The relationship remains, but it is not complete.
I won't judge anyone's choice to stay in a relationship, or to leave one. What I would look for is the effort they put into communicating and trying to work together with their partner to solve the problem. Isn't that what "relationship" and "partner" mean?
Being a hobbyist may compliment their life, and they're wife's life as well.
Huge reply to only a few words posted.
I stay because my wife earns as much as me and lets me hobby. The kids just shake their heads in disbelief.
-- Modified on 11/14/2013 7:13:10 AM
Troll: person who sows discord on the Internet by starting arguments or upsetting people,[1] by posting inflammatory,[2] extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community.
I wasn't inflammatory and it wasn't off topic.
Just happened to have 2 encounters where this came up and I felt like posting.
A troll does not apply to the above list....
A troll is a person who only comes here with posts that make little sense simply to stir the pot, and those people normally use an alias...like YOU do.
A troll is a person who only comes here with posts that make little sense simply to stir the pot, and those people normally use an alias...like YOU do.
think Cossette is a sex addict and she has come up with an easy way to fuck as many guys as she can. Way easier than trolling bars. Plus she makes a little on the side as well. What's wrong with that. She clearly is different.
But I do truly like to connect with guys, not just in the fucking sense, good conversations are stimulating and hot.
I had a debate on string theory the other day, made me want to jump his bones.
To each his/her own right?
I believe you. That's why you advertise 4 hr sessions for 600 or whatever. Clearly more time is better for you. I like the meet and greet dates for a very reasonable rates. A unique business model because for you it isn't even really a business.
There are still dangers in this business and a way to go about it, that are in place regardless of one's reasons for entering it. You can't just say, "Oh, I don't need to screen because I am not really a hooker, I am a sex addict." The cops beg to differ. The more risks you take as far as advertising venues and rates, the more danger you are putting yourself in. Guys are not here to give a shit about our issues or reasons...they pay to fk. If being with a sex addict was their agenda and better to them than getting 'their money's worth,' she would have all 9s and 10s, so it's obvious the guys are looking for a SERVICE provider, and not a human being with a reason. Some might care, but most don't give two shits.
There are quite a few women here who are nymphos, but they still use general common sense in regards to marketing and screening so they don't end up in jail or dead, and have every guy in town knowing where they sleep at night.
responsibility and decency should always go hand in hand..
Not a sarcastic post, just giving you credit because it takes a lot to stay in a situation where you're not happy.
the difficulties under these circumstances, and wish all of those the best in keeping sane in relationships. Sometimes you think someone is one way, then ten years down the line, BAM! You've got no idea who they are. Kind of a terrifying, shocking experience.
I think I'll stay away for now, lol. Seen way too much.
xoxo!
(P.S. A little TLC wouldn't hurt, now would it?
She still wants sex but I am just not physically attracted to her anymore. I was sexually repressed growing up; I was a typical Asian geek who studied hard and had no time for girls. Then I worked hard for a very long time to make a comfortable living without getting involved in any relationship. Now I think I am just re-living my younger years with beautiful girls this time. I don't want to use a sexless relationship (which is my fault) as an excuse for my hobbying; I just like to have fun with beautiful women. Plus, I just don't think it is natural to have sex with only one person for the rest of my life.
But you don't dissolve the relationship because...?
have you ever thought of bringing up the topic of an open relationship to her?
I didn't try to measure it for length but this thread is the longest I've ever seen. Wonder if there's a way to check? Oh, and would someone please put a bullet in this turkey?
ate Coquette was outed for using fake photos and it was a mighty long and impressive train wreck. She made the classic mistake of trying to defend herself to virtually every poster. People just kept piling on. It was great fun. Hey remember Fake Finder.
I agree about the bullet.
I've never said it's better to stay unhappily together than to divorce. What I've said is that parents (whether together or divorced) have a joint duty to care for and protect their children. Deciding WHEN to divorce is a personal decision that each partner must make. The idea of staying unhappily together for the kids is worth debating. Many people think that's bad. But the level and type and potential harm of marital discord varies widely so divorce (versus therapy versus taking more time to see what happens or for better financial conditions to arrive) is a personal decision.
In my personal case (since I've put it out there) I agree that divorce is the best option. I've just not acted upon it with finality yet. It's a personal goal for 2014. All things must be in good order.....
I've NEVER said I cheat for anyone but myself. I spoil my cock with premium pussy, luxury treatment, at significant financial cost. Fucking prostitutes will happen regardless of divorce. Regardless of parental status. It (like drinking alcohol or smoking) is a personal decision borne out of self gratification. Indulgence in carnal pleasure, pure and simple.
My personal goal is to divorce, find Ms. Right and stay out of this world. That's my goal. But today I'm swimming in the shit of TER like everyone else reading this board.