Philadelphia

Re: You have never contacted me either...
linda See my TER Reviews 1981 reads
posted

hun.. good i am glad you are reference friendly...BUT
i said ..Some proivders in philly ..did i say all??just SOME of the ones i encounter.....were rude...i had a bad experience with....thats all. i raise this point to bring awearness to a situation that should be addressed for the safety and convience for us all...And i thank those who did help, and encourage others to see the value in this practice....and by the way..when i first came to philly, you were the first lady to welcome me, you were very cool with me...sorry i made you feel that way..it wasnt meant to offend all of the philly ladies......

Posted By: FelicityMcKenna
...I am definitely reference friendly, and I am a little offended that you came to the Philly board accusing providers in this city that we are not reference friendly.
-- Modified on 5/17/2012 1:11:29 AM

-- Modified on 5/17/2012 1:27:42 AM

I notice that since i been coming in and out of phila., that when i try to get references from some of my sisters in philly, they  tell me off,and i dont even know me... and hang up, or they dont call back, when i leave a vm.. when i needed a reference here..WHY??? So i lose out of the appt... The florida ladies, they help each other out, fast..I understand if you are in a meeting and cannot answer your phone, but afterwards the florida ladies will call you back?? Is it that you dont give out references here??? I just dont understand it?? If any ladies call me, i would be happy and willing to give a reference, I AM REFERENCE friendly..,Is it that the philly ladies are afraid to lose a client?? Plus it makes you ladies out here, look bad to your client that saw you, and use you as a reference,because now they are losing out on seeing a new proivder...This happen to me not just once , but a couple of times out here, Just wanna know WHY??? Thank you..sexxylinda

-- Modified on 5/16/2012 3:08:28 AM

....also imo  the guy who is using these references should probably alert these ladies first that he'll be using them for another appt. I don't think your experience has ANYTHING to do with the Philly ladies in particular trust me. Just those individual ladies.  I have the same issue once in a blue moon from ladies in my area (D.C.).  It happens.

Hi Hun..
Yes the guys contacted these ladies..beforehand.. and one on the ladies told off the gent , she saw a few weeks also!!! not mention names dropping here...she curse him out, like a truck driver, for calling her for a reference, The gent call me back , and told me, and it was his only reference. He was a  new ter guy.. but no reviews yet on here.....I can go on and on...about other issues...But all i know is {Guys i am reference friendly>>>>}I am not saying all the Philly sisters out here are like this. by no means...Just some...the ones i  had  experience with....

Posted By: TrulyMsMocha
....also imo  the guy who is using these references should probably alert these ladies first that he'll be using them for another appt. I don't think your experience has ANYTHING to do with the Philly ladies in particular trust me. Just those individual ladies.  I have the same issue once in a blue moon from ladies in my area (D.C.).  It happens.
-- Modified on 5/16/2012 10:58:12 AM

A few points, from my experience:

When contacting a lady, I always pay attention to their preferred method of contact. For example, if my profile here says that I prefer email, I don't appreciate some strange lady contacting me with texts or calls on a Sunday. Giving a reference is a professional courtesy, and not an obligation, and should certainly not be abused.

Secondly, introduce yourself to her. Do not simply say "Hey, can I get a reference?". Discretion in this profession is of the utmost importance and if she does not know who you are, why should she waste her time screening YOU to figure out if YOU are someone she is willing to share with, especially after the gentleman has not contacted her?

Lastly, realize that you are here to make money and not friends. Get that "sisterhood" falacy out of your head. Unfortunately, this is kind of a catty business and many ladies are immature and competitive. I commend you for being reference-friendly, and good luck.

Posted By: linda
Hi Hun..
Yes the guys contacted these ladies..beforehand.. and one on the ladies told off the gent , she saw a few weeks also!!! not mention names dropping here...she curse him out, like a truck driver, for calling her for a reference, The gent call me back , and told me, and it was his only reference. He was a  new ter guy.. but no reviews yet on here.....I can go on and on...about other issues...But all i know is {Guys i am reference friendly>>>>}I am not saying all the Philly sisters out here are like this. by no means...Just some...the ones i  had  experience with....
Posted By: TrulyMsMocha
....also imo  the guy who is using these references should probably alert these ladies first that he'll be using them for another appt. I don't think your experience has ANYTHING to do with the Philly ladies in particular trust me. Just those individual ladies.  I have the same issue once in a blue moon from ladies in my area (D.C.).  It happens.
-- Modified on 5/16/2012 10:58:12 AM

miss madison..
If you read mine post  better..the gents did contact the proivder..not me beforehand...and  she ball him out...I am a mature women , i know the rules  and i been in the business.along time.. and sisters  is a term...  we use in the biz to each other..., not about friendship...and yes i know this is a catty business. very well... a good friend of mine  years ago got kill in this biz, in her own townhouse...so safety is number one in  my book!!!

-- Modified on 5/16/2012 2:11:49 PM

-- Modified on 5/16/2012 2:37:24 PM

-- Modified on 5/16/2012 2:40:36 PM

The tone of your response to Macy's recommendation on how to request a reference is a little harsh.  Just re-read what you wrote and think about how you said that -- it can't hurt to be kinder than you think you need to be when asking for something you are not entitled to.  

Maybe it's your tone that's keeping ladies from replying?


Posted By: linda
miss madison..
If you read mine post  better..the gents did contact the proivder..not me beforehand...and  she ball him out...I am a mature women , i know the rules  and i been in the business.along time.. and sisters  is a term...  we use in the biz to each other..., not about friendship...and yes i know this is a catty business. very well... a good friend of mine  years ago got kill in this biz, in her own townhouse...so safety is number one in  my book!!!

-- Modified on 5/16/2012 2:11:49 PM

-- Modified on 5/16/2012 2:37:24 PM

-- Modified on 5/16/2012 2:40:36 PM
-- Modified on 5/18/2012 9:36:32 PM

Goinhard1509 reads

I've known Linda for a long time.  She is the consummate pro.  She knows the ropes as far as cooperating with other girls in the area.  This is not the first time I have heard this complaint about some ladies not giving the reference.  And I don't think Linda was harsh - she's calling it like she sees it.  

Posted By: AlexandraMarie
The tone of your response to Macy's recommendation on how to request a reference is a little harsh.  Just re-read what you wrote and think about how you said that -- it can't hurt to be kinder than you think you need to be when asking for something you are not entitled to.  

Maybe it's your tone that's keeping ladies from replying?


Posted By: linda
miss madison..
If you read mine post  better..the gents did contact the proivder..not me beforehand...and  she ball him out...I am a mature women , i know the rules  and i been in the business.along time.. and sisters  is a term...  we use in the biz to each other..., not about friendship...and yes i know this is a catty business. very well... a good friend of mine  years ago got kill in this biz, in her own townhouse...so safety is number one in  my book!!!

-- Modified on 5/16/2012 2:11:49 PM

-- Modified on 5/16/2012 2:37:24 PM

-- Modified on 5/16/2012 2:40:36 PM
-- Modified on 5/18/2012 9:36:32 PM

But her post was harsh.  There is no doubt in my mind that softening her language a bit would be helpful.  With all due respect, I disagree with you because the evidence in right there in her post.

Posted By: Goinhard
I've known Linda for a long time.  She is the consummate pro.  She knows the ropes as far as cooperating with other girls in the area.  This is not the first time I have heard this complaint about some ladies not giving the reference.  And I don't think Linda was harsh - she's calling it like she sees it.  
Posted By: AlexandraMarie
The tone of your response to Macy's recommendation on how to request a reference is a little harsh.  Just re-read what you wrote and think about how you said that -- it can't hurt to be kinder than you think you need to be when asking for something you are not entitled to.  

Maybe it's your tone that's keeping ladies from replying?


Posted By: linda
miss madison..
If you read mine post  better..the gents did contact the proivder..not me beforehand...and  she ball him out...I am a mature women , i know the rules  and i been in the business.along time.. and sisters  is a term...  we use in the biz to each other..., not about friendship...and yes i know this is a catty business. very well... a good friend of mine  years ago got kill in this biz, in her own townhouse...so safety is number one in  my book!!!

-- Modified on 5/16/2012 2:11:49 PM

-- Modified on 5/16/2012 2:37:24 PM

-- Modified on 5/16/2012 2:40:36 PM
-- Modified on 5/18/2012 9:36:32 PM

.....i'm also just wondering how long has it been with no response from any of these ladies?  Not saying pester but as far as email or PM. I find some don't check ter PM's at all or not for a long time and are better with direct email and vice-versa.  With phone it could be with the ones that didn't answer after you left VM that they just don't check those or the other thing they could just be ignoring you...that's happened to me a few times also lol.

Why references anyhow? Like you said, how can you be sure you will get an honest response. She may lie to you to limit her competition. If you are worried about a client being LE, tell them to knock on your door with their pecker out.

Posted By: linda
I notice that since i been coming in and out of phila., that when i try to get references from some of my sisters in philly, they  tell me off,and i dont even know me... and hang up, or they dont call back, when i leave a vm.. when i needed a reference here..WHY??? So i lose out of the appt... The florida ladies, they help each other out, fast..I understand if you are in a meeting and cannot answer your phone, but afterwards the florida ladies will call you back?? Is it that you dont give out references here??? I just dont understand it?? If any ladies call me, i would be happy and willing to give a reference, I AM REFERENCE friendly..,Is it that the philly ladies are afraid to lose a client?? Plus it makes you ladies out here, look bad to your client that saw you, and use you as a reference,because now they are losing out on seeing a new proivder...This happen to me not just once , but a couple of times out here, Just wanna know WHY??? Thank you..sexxylinda

-- Modified on 5/16/2012 3:08:28 AM

Thanks for providing the perfect example of why references are needed.  It weeds out the idiots.

..... also references and/or other methods of screening aren't foolproof we all know that BUT who these references come from sometimes means a whole lot.

Of course I was kidding, just curious as for the different reasons why a provider would require references. Guess it,s mainly reassurance that your next client, or provider, is a reliable person who shows up, pays, and causes no problems, unless he,s an idiot like Rayan says I am.

Oh, so only intelligent guys get to pop you. remember, less bloodflow to the brain means more to the penis.

Giving references should be standard pro co.  All of us ladies should think of it this way.

First, we are not there wife and or girlfriend.  The guys want varity when they are treating themselves to a little bit of ME time.

Second,  this courtesy should be extended to the client that comes to see you.  You are keeping him safe as well.  Yes, they should join preferred and date check.  However, still on those sites the ladies still validate.

Let's all pay it forward and help each other.

Enjoy the day

Natasha

but I would have no problem helping you out if you emailed me politely with enough information so I could recall the gentleman.  Are these "ladies" well-reviewed and been around for awhile or are they backpage-type girls?  Huge difference.  Some of them are young and don't know any better but there are also really nice well-reviewed young girls who are super nice and quick to respond to reference requests.  I have not had a problem with the girls here in Philly that I have contacted but they are also known in the community and have many good reviews.  I would not accept unknown references.  I also only accept email requests.  That seems to be the most favored method of contact.  

It's basic courtesy for the gentleman to ASK to use someone as a reference.

they where ter ladies.. Dont play with backpage....Yes some of the ladies i did email...no reponse ..and left vms.after the gent call them first to let them know i was calling...with my website and ter id no# ...never ever call on weekends or early mornings..i will email before i did that!!! i wouldnt want to be woken up early either. i know the rules..this is not my first rodeo...i agree on that.It's basic courtesy for the gentleman to ASK to use someone as a reference.  

..its call respect.....hope i didnt  decend anyone on this topic.....i guess  us ladies in florida do it different out there...my regards
Posted By: Rayen
but I would have no problem helping you out if you emailed me politely with enough information so I could recall the gentleman.  Are these "ladies" well-reviewed and been around for awhile or are they backpage-type girls?  Huge difference.  Some of them are young and don't know any better but there are also really nice well-reviewed young girls who are super nice and quick to respond to reference requests.  I have not had a problem with the girls here in Philly that I have contacted but they are also known in the community and have many good reviews.  I would not accept unknown references.  I also only accept email requests.  That seems to be the most favored method of contact.  

It's basic courtesy for the gentleman to ASK to use someone as a reference.  
-- Modified on 5/16/2012 12:43:13 PM

-- Modified on 5/16/2012 1:09:38 PM

-- Modified on 5/16/2012 1:18:30 PM

-- Modified on 5/16/2012 1:22:36 PM

-- Modified on 5/16/2012 1:37:28 PM

-- Modified on 5/16/2012 1:42:28 PM

-- Modified on 5/16/2012 2:45:16 PM

...I am definitely reference friendly, and I am a little offended that you came to the Philly board accusing providers in this city that we are not reference friendly.

hun.. good i am glad you are reference friendly...BUT
i said ..Some proivders in philly ..did i say all??just SOME of the ones i encounter.....were rude...i had a bad experience with....thats all. i raise this point to bring awearness to a situation that should be addressed for the safety and convience for us all...And i thank those who did help, and encourage others to see the value in this practice....and by the way..when i first came to philly, you were the first lady to welcome me, you were very cool with me...sorry i made you feel that way..it wasnt meant to offend all of the philly ladies......

Posted By: FelicityMcKenna
...I am definitely reference friendly, and I am a little offended that you came to the Philly board accusing providers in this city that we are not reference friendly.
-- Modified on 5/17/2012 1:11:29 AM

-- Modified on 5/17/2012 1:27:42 AM

I'm not saying there aren't ladies doing what Linda is accusing them of -- not giving references, being rude, trying to keep a client to oneself, etc. -- but to go on the public board and try to out these nameless women and put it on us to defend all of the ladies of Philly is NOT productive what-so-ever.  I wouldn't be surprised if some ladies now put her on their "do not give ref to this diva" list.  I  wouldn't do that and find that practice to be ridiculous but they are other ladies who are fine with it.

This is a conversation that would have been better started on the Provider's Only board.  What is the saying -- you get more bees with honey then vinegar?  Being pushy or a bully about references and one's supposed rights to them on a public board makes both ladies and gents want to avoid that person.

Felicity, I totally agree with you.  Offend me and it doesn't sit well, but it won;t keep me form changing my behavior of giving references.  Of course I'll still give her reference if she contacts me but not without keeping her public bashing of all of the ladies in Philadelphia in mind.

Posted By: FelicityMcKenna
...I am definitely reference friendly, and I am a little offended that you came to the Philly board accusing providers in this city that we are not reference friendly.

Hope it doesn't discourage you, the Philly girls always ref me on date check no problem, does that work for you?

yes i am on date check ..p411.. indy board....I only use references, if they are not on these sites, and work off of a cell phone, or dont have recent reviews to go by..Than my last resort is a reference...But no it did not discourage me, but thank you for your input...Hope you have a great holiday...

Posted By: Ishootcraps
Hope it doesn't discourage you, the Philly girls always ref me on date check no problem, does that work for you?

wrps07934 reads

The reference system is full of drama. I recommend that you use a site like date-check.com or p411 where the info is available 24x7. The ladies are probably upset that you are taking their business. I have seen problems where one of the ladies got pissed that I would see someone at a higher price. BTW it is like that is just about all the cities in the US.

skipo22664 reads

it is a very safe and good idea to provde references both on the girl side and the guy side. Only a guy or gal who has something to hide would be against it.

There are many providers who well, if you do not know them, how do you know if they are thorough and that you can count on them for the correct info ?
It would be a lot easier if every hobbyist had some sort of subscription with a trustworthy/discreet verification company.
As far as woman becoming upset as a friend/hobbyist decides to see someone else, that is just straight rediculous.
Life is about pleasure. Why would anyone not want their friend to engage in such other pleasure?
I will always carefully screen and I answer referenc checks immediately. It is a matter of respect and safety which is extremely important.

Have a beautiful day!

Envy Jolie

I have had a real problem with girls providing references. I specifically ask BEFORE the date, and confirm AFTER the date that they will white list me on TER, and 2 other sites.
Then......NOTHING.
It should go without saying that if I am asking for a referral BEFORE and AFTER the date, I have been a completely well mannered and behaved date.
I am extremely polite, have great hygiene, and I am not a bad looking/shaped guy that's has not reached middle age. In other words, I am capable of meeting women, but enjoy the hobby.

Can anyone offer some advice for handling this?
Thanks.

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