Provider Relations 101: GFE vs PSEregular_smile
Sinful1 See my TER Reviews 71445 reads


(GFE = Girl Friend Experience)
(PSE = Porn Star Experience)

So the provider offers both GFE and PSE and you are unsure of the differences.  Here is a little clarification, from this provider's point of view to help you make up your mind:

GFE.  The first question I would ask is "Do you like to kiss?"  If so, GFE is for you.  A girl friend experience is the type of experience you would expect from someone you have a relationship with.  There is kissing, talking, hugging and lots of foreplay.  Your GFE may have candles set up for a warm and intimate setting, and may start the appointment on her couch... so that you can spend some time getting better acquainted.

Imagine this scenario:

You have been at work all day, in meetings.  You are tired and want to see that special girl in your life (or in this case the special girl for the evening *wink*).  She greets you at the door, knowing you have had a hard day, in something sexy and provocative with that look in her eye.  She offers you a glass of wine.  Or perhaps you have brought the wine and she gets out the glasses.  She sits you down on the couch and you talk for a bit.  You tell her what has been going on in your day.  You kiss.  First, slowly, softly, gently.  Then passionately, deep french kisses, devouring each other.  She starts to unbutton your shirt, again with that look in her eyes, and invites you to join her on the bed.  She slowly undresses in front of you wanting you to savor every inch of her curvaceous body.  As she draws you to the bed, she unbuttons your pants and drops them to the floor.  Next your boxers and she takes you into her mouth for a BBBJ, getting you hot and aroused before she pulls you onto the bed... where you kiss some more.  She then turns her attention back to you, kissing your neck, moving down to your chest and your nipples.. down further to finish that BJ...  She excuses herself to rinse her mouth out with mouthwash so that she can rejoin you on the bed for more dfk and possibly you return the favor with some DATY. When she can no longer handle it, after one or more O's, she pulls you up to her so that you can kiss and gently rolls you onto you back where she puts on a cover and straddles you, slowing lowering herself onto you.. after riding cowgirl for a while, you roll over and put her onto her back for continued pleasure.. and possibly try one or more positions.. doggie, MISH, with her legs around your neck.. until you collapse.. spent..

PSE.  If you have ever watched a porno, you notice that the gentleman walks into the room, and the things start to happen immediately.  There may be a few minutes of "getting to know each other," but after that the action begins.  Just hot erotic fun with no kissing.  As with most pornos, clothes are quickly removed with urgency.  Also you are encouraged to explore numerous positions; doggie, mish, off the bed, etc.  The provider may also encourage you to pull out just before finishing, remove the cover, and explode over her breasts for a hot visual experience.  If she finishes you orally, she may gargle before swallowing your offering or may spit it out over her own breasts and rub it liberally on them for your viewing pleasure.

I have found that most gentlemen who ask for PSE generally do not want this experience.  It becomes apparent early on that kissing and holding and foreplay are important to them.  What I recommend instead is that they request a "Naughty GFE."  Imagine a hot and horny girlfriend, with a naughty wanton side... and this is what most of my clients actually prefer.  It has all the kissing, holding and foreplay of GFE, with some of the naughtiness of the PSE.

I hope this helped a little in making your choice.  

-- Modified on 4/26/2007 9:34:30 AM

-- Modified on 4/26/2007 12:02:44 PM

You have been posting such useful informative messages lately and I am sure that the ladies and gents alike appreciate it. I know I do!


I think it is safe to say that kissing in general, depending on the lady's & gentleman's personal preferences (and personal dental hygiene can be expected in a GFE encounter.

So does mine!  A meeting of the minds is a wonderful thing in this divisive world.

I would hope so...DFK is one of the best parts of the experience.

-- Modified on 4/26/2007 5:50:47 PM

Once again, a great informative post that should help to further educate hobbyists and even some providers.

Unfortunately, your definition of a GFE (which is what it should be) may not be the same as another provider's "interpretation".  I've seen providers who advertised GFE and wouldn't allow even light kissing.  And I'm positive it wasn't a YMMV issue.

Felinelover8096 reads

Let me echo Seeker's praise of Sinthia's post.  Most enlightening indeed.  As for DFK, for me and many other hobbyists that's an essential element of a GFE, and providers who don't even kiss shouldn't advertise that they provide a GFE.  After all, GFE stands for *Girl* friend experience.  Are you (not you, Seeker :-) gonna tell me girlfriends don't kiss?  WTF?

GFE stands for Girl Friend Experience and I don't know ANY girlfriends who don't kiss unless there is a major issue.

A GFE will not generally DFK you if:

1)You are coughing hardcore when you walk in the door, how do we know you don't have bronchitis(which we would then get and pass to others, Not responsible).

2)You breath is kicking so hard that it is ALL we smell...

3)Your teeth are green and visibly rotten..

4)Your mouth is soo juicy that the provider ends up with ALL of your saliva in their mouth.


It is never a good idea to visit a provider after a visit to the dentist.  No matter what you have done you will end up with tears in your gums that could prove issue if you like DATY and DFK.

GFE should include DFK, BBBJ, CFS, DATY and a friendly hostess that makes you feel like you are with a girlfriend.  Many different personalities some quirky, smart, sensual, and so on contribute to the experience.  READ the ladies site and you should be able to get a better feel for which the lady is...

GL, Sage

-- Modified on 4/26/2007 12:58:08 PM

whereyat3728 reads

Seeker717 is right on; I've experienced the same.

A great definition for an enjoyable date.

Felinelover4365 reads

Indeed, especially when it's provided by Sinthia.  Yummm, gotta schedule a date with her soon.  Found a very appropriate wine, too!

Great post Sinful and please tell me that you will bring that Naughty GFE experience to LA someday!!

Coureur3376 reads

Thank you for the message and explanation.  

There should be standardized definitions for providers and hobbyists alike.  Surprising how many providers will not DFK and, yet, still claim to offer a "GFE".  Then, there are some hobbyists who really have no idea about what they want either...

You are the consumate combination of both GFE and PSE. Therefore I thank you for being so GOOD to me, and I thank you for being so BAD to me !!

you bring out the good and the BAD in me... *wink*

techstunner4197 reads


I have been watching the boards here for a while and you have provided a lot of valuable insight to a newbie.  Thank you for the valuable resources.

I'm going to add a "me too" because I felt I should... I have just started out in this hobby and knew what GFE meant; but PSE was kind of confusing - thank you much for helping clarify.  I think it's "naughty GFE" for me ;)

birdman322914 reads

I have to add my heartfelt thanks Sinthia!  You are providing a great service for all of us newbies.  I only wish I was in Chicago to thank you personally.

Sadly some ladies advertise GFE but would not qualify by your definition (and most of the ones I have read).  This is a place where TER really helps.  By looking at a providers profile you can get information on kissing, covered vs bare blow jobs, whether daty is ok and so on.
 Also, often a review will incidently mention some of these activities but it is a great check and balance compared to an ad.  If you want DFK kissing and the profile says no, it is probably a mistake to take that path.  If the profile says yes there could still be a mistake but at least you have shown some diligence in try to find what you are looking for.
 Again, that was a terrific piece ad very well written.  Thanks

Way to get my motor revvin' Sin.  I'm on your dance card for the upcoming week!! You have no worries about me "possibly return(ing) the favor with DATY."  I love the view from down there!!
Can't wait to meet my Extremly Naughty GFE!!

What nice ladies and the men are atreat too. I like this board much better than the Dc board. It will be my first time in Chicago and I must admit I fall under PSE/ Naughty GFE with this definition. I realized that the men often want your description of GFE and I was going crazy with my PSE fantasies. My guys from Chicago could handle it and loved it so I hope to have some more PSE fun when I come to town.
XO , Shilo St. John

Thanks for the clarification, You are right, naughty gfe is what most of us want. Thanks again!!

Can anyone point me to a site that has a straight definition of GFE

I always advertise that it is


I'm not looking for a debate, but for a site that spells out GFE with a definition.

jhndoe8952608 reads

Wonderfully descriptive post, thanks again.

This is nothing short of awesome! Thank you, thank you!

Hey I am kinda new to this board.  Really wasn't too certain what PSE was either thanks for the clarification.  I think I will also prefer a naughty gfe.  he he he thanks doll!

Isn't the provider nervous about bbbj/ swallowing for safety issues such as std contraction?

GLS1344 reads

Thanx for the breakdown, helps us explain to our readers

jacktung1453 reads

One hour session includes BBBJ and another mission? Two sessions common?

I am not familiar with the culture here so I want to make sure we get our main mission done. In certain places they count how many pops, so even BJ is done is being count as a pop.

But if one hour session here usually includes a pop through BJ and another one through the strong body movement then I can rest assure to enjoy the BJ time without worrying losing the chance of my second pop.

I'm newbie so please do let me know. Thanks.

vincemcl1612 reads

Thank you so much that was a very clear,  very precise answer.  I appreciate the help very much.  I see now I'll do well to stick with GFE- love to kiss & get to know my provider as much as possible.  I don't think PSE would be a turn on for me but at least now I know I haven't missed anything.  Thanks again, you went the extra mile to answer my (probably naive inquiry).  It is greatly appreciated.


I totally agree.  PSE is not always what people assume it is, and when all is said and done, the hobbiest sometimes may feel it was too mechanical.  I think all newbies and long time hobbiests should read this post, so they don't come out feeling disappointed, and review the provider unfairly for giving what a PSE experience in fact is.  No kissing, right down to business.  I love "Naughty GFE"  and the wanton side of the provider. I could not have said it better myself. Kudos!  It's the perfect recipe for pure bliss.  That's just my two cents.

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