Hobbyists and providers,
How often have you found a new ATF, whether by choice or by accident? For example, you have your ATF whom you see more often than anyone. Everything is still great. However, to keep a sense of variety you see other providers from time to time. It just so happens that you really click with a new provider. The feeling is mutual and you sense that this new provider can unlock new doors of eroticism along with everything that a gfe can provide. If you so decide to "change" your favorite, how do you work the transition? You still want to see your other ATF, but maybe not as much. Providers, has this happened to you and what are your feelings on the subject? I don't mean this to sound like a contest or anything, because it's not. Sometimes things just happen..... Thanks for letting me share.
PlanetU2
You stop seeing the one provider as much and start seeing the other provider more. It's as simple as can be, thus the allure of the provider/client relationship. There's no bullshit and there's no reason for you to create any for yourself.
This is a business for the ladies. They get new customers every week. Some become repeat customers and I'm sure they like that because it's more money and less hassle. Some become regulars, but what does that entail anyways. And the majority move on to the next girl.
If she was your ATF, make no mistake, she's the ATF of many. She might miss your money at first, but there is another gentleman's money ready to take it's place. She will be happy to see you next time, even if it's been a while between visits.
This is my experience anyway.
rik
in your question to be thinking that you are somehow going to hurt your first ATF's feelings if you don't see her as often.
Hey, it's a business! Providers who are known as GFEs pretend to have feelings of affection toward clients that they don't actually feel - I don't consider this to be dishonest, because it's all part of the fantasy that the client is paying for, and it can be fun. But don't ever take it seriously! Your reltionship with her is not what you seem to be thinking it is. As Riker says, just go ahead and see your new lady, as see the old one as often as you feel like.
Patience everyone.
http://theeroticreview.com/info/termsbody.html
To everyone, thanks for the plethora of responses. I enjoyed reading everyone's reply. Riker gave me the response I seemed to be looking for. I probably wasn't clear in my original post. Of course I realize that that this is a business and change does occur. I am not even sure that I will make this new provider #1, only that the possibility is there. I, like My Life as Me, don't hobby as often as others (maybe every 6 weeks). Therefore, I do venture out to other ladies as often as most of you. I am not looking for a girlfriend! I am happy and content on my own, plus I have a busy enough life as it is without a girlfriend. I just so happened to check out a new "tip" and it was great. My #1 provider (I won't use ATF anymore LOL!) is also a good friend, so I guess I was being sensitive towards her whether or not it is warranted. Again, thanks to all for the advice and feedback.
PlanetU2
There's nothing wrong with someone new(Variety is the spice of life). Trust me when I say this."If your usual provider is as great as you think she is, she's not hurting for clients. She probably will miss your company but she'll be okay. The way to start the transition is by weening youself away from your usual girl( a little at a time) until you are at your level of comfort. Instead of seeing her for a 1/2 every week see her for an hour every two weeks. You could even see her once a month. If you want to leave her all together use the same process. Remeber never burn a bridge behind you. You may change you mind or need her as a reference for another girl. Treat her the way she has treated you. I assume well, or you would not be worried about hurting her feelings. Hope I helped.
Everyone's had clients here & there mention they've been
seeing "a new girl" and I do nothing but encourage it.
Because in my experience, I've had more positive returns & happy "I missed you"s than overall permanent losses.
Its all about that personal touch that can't be forgotten.
"the grass is ALWAYS greener" for awhile...
kisskiss
I bet you get the "Nicole Kidman" thing alot (Sweet Nicole...duh) Two bad you're so far away (Me = new York, You = LA).
You aren't one of those LA providers who refuse to see African American men are you? I'm hoping not, because who knows when I might next be in LALA land. I don't usually go "petite", as I am a pretty big guy, but, did I mention that you're a cutie?? :^)
I'm afraid I can't help but take a moment to echo MyLifeAsMe's sentiments. Nicole you are incredibly cute, though I might use the term HOT just as well. Where have you been hiding yourself? And do you think you might hide yourself in SF Bay Area sometime?
Nicole, you're a doll. No wonder your errant clients keep coming back.
Stop by Virginia on your way to NYC, OK?
...when you are on your death bed and looking back, only then will you know who was really your "All Time Favorite".
A provider is a professional businesswoman.
She is not your girlfriend so I don't think you
should worry too much about how they feel when you're seeing other providers.
You got the money, you get to pick who you want to see.
I really do not understand the hangups on this. I have incidents in which someone has visited with me and then fuddles about telling me that they are going to see someone else. I am touched that they feel that I would be hurt in some way, but in all honesty I am not.
One of the things that does draw me to this genre is the knowledge of knowing that I can walk away without worries that this will lead into something more...emotional (for the lack of a better term). Do not get me wrong, I have regulars that I see and do care a great deal for them and am very close to one or two of them, but the knowledge of knowing that they want to see someone else, and the fact that they do, does not bother me in the least.
Respect is warranted in passing that information, but everyone knows that each and every lady has a different experience to offer. Wanting spice and variety is nothing to feel guilty about. It is what is so great about the hobby, for providers and hobbiests alike.
My 2 cents anyway.
Lauren
Maybe I'm lost, or I just don't understand.
I know I don't "hobby" nearly as much as some of you other guys. And as a rule, while I might indeed have an ATF, I don't see a provider more than once or twice, because I am not looking for ANOTHER relationship (maintaining the one I have is problematic enough, thank you)
Which goes to the heart of my question, which is, what is the point of PAYING to see an ASP if you have to "manage" that relationship?
"how do you work the transition"
"Sometimes things just happen..... "
You sound like you are trying to figure how to break the news to a REAL girlfriend (you know, someone you sleeps with you for reasons other than financial gain) that you want to see other people, but finesse it in such a way so that you can still screw her.
Ummm...am I missing something? Is there some reason why your "ATF" won't still take your money and give you what you want / need? You are a verified regular...she will be just as "thrilled" to see you in the future as she is now. Oh are you worried that she will be upset by your "cheating"?
While it is always nice to fine people you enjoy doing business with, and long time business relationships can be very valuable AND treasured, this IS a business relationship my friend. Your ATF has SEVERAL other clients just like you, and more than likely a "Real" BF who doesn't have to pay to play. This is in addition to the non-regs she probably sees a dozen or so of every month.
Remember, keep it all in perspective... as much as you might "like" each other, she isn't your GF.
Current Favorites (the ones that I saw more often) usually provide me with more than just sex (a bit more chemistry, a common interest, a more genuine and relax atmosphere, may be even a bit of fondness instead of just pure acting) The experience besides sex are more like friends (NOT GF though) having a good time with each other.
To me, a regular is usually just someone that is dependable, provides good service and available, nothing special.
One Night Stands (or more appropriately, Once or Twice Visited) are just someone that I want to meet but will move on after the encounter.
Somehow when I switched from one CF to other, my own feelings towards the previous CF changed and their response changed accordingly. The sessions seemed to be different since there are more awkwardness in them.
Just like close friends became average regular friends due to less frequent contacts, a previous CF could become more like a Regular or a One Night Stands.
Once the feeling changed, it is hard to have it re-established.
Just my 2 cents.
The provider/client thing can be an evanescent process. For me, it's the ones I remember three, four, five years down the road most fondly. You are right, it is all about chemistry.
Even though most providers are accomplished actresses, I think you can usually tell the ones who really dig you personally.