Yesterday I was waiting to hear back from my ATF. We always try to meet on Sunday mornings when she is in town so while waiting for her return text, I found myself just glancing at the history of posts on the board. Suddenly, the lights came on and it was like I had just found the answer to the mystery of life. I must say, I was surprised by what jumped out at me and figured I’d share the secrets of being a great provider based on all the subtle clues I discovered.
1. BBJs are mandatory, and sometimes you’ve gotta get the balls in the mouth too, but not always. Sometimes you gotta slobber a lot, but sometimes you’ve gotta avoid that.
2. Kissing, hugging, are needed by some, but not by all. You’ve gotta turn on your crystal ball so you can read the guy’s mind before he arrives.
3. Bugs in the room are not cool and so if you tell the guy as he arrives to watch out for the bugs, he will probably leave, but not always.
4. Sometimes you might want to count the donation because mistakes are made occasionally, but you can’t count in front of the client.. Go figure…
5. Some guys want a spinner but they make appointments with BBWs. Then they dock you on reviews. Guess you need to have your plan B ready for the guy that can’t read ads or display pics.
6. Some guys want to be on top, some on bottom, some upside down, some sideways, and of course there is the wanna be gymnast. And most of the time they can’t handle it because they are constantly switching positions. Guess you just have to make sure you are in shape to offset the guys who aren’t capable but try like hell.
7. You might grind him slowly, stroke him rapidly, you might switch it up, you might take it deep, maybe short, but one thing is nearly certain… just when you have come to point where eruption is about to happen, he is gonna want you to stop and switch gears….
8. No damn body knows what the term GFE means. It could be “gonna fuck everybody”, maybe “good fucking entertainment”, then again “great female experience”, perhaps “gonna fail everything”, but it darn sure doesn’t really mean “girlfriend experience” cause most guys don’t know what that is.
9. If you are really good, some guy is gonna fall in love, buy you shit, and then come on the boards to ask everyone how to make it work out.
10. Some girls charge too damn much, some don’t charge enough, some should give discounts for travel time to see you, some should give discounts because they can only pop once, others need discounts because they pop really fast, some want discounts because they are cute, and so you’ve really got to have your discount plan firmly in mind.
Woops I don’t think I actually solved any mystery…. It’s still a mystery …. but providers have to be some pretty smart folks to get it right.... LOL
pwilley, you are so right. These girls need to either have a crystal ball or read minds.
Girls, thanks for being every fantasy us guys think we want until we change our minds
I read your posts quite abit.... but this one took the cake lol I love it... so true
So, women are moving in the right direction.
Of course the rest of the universe turns the other way and a woman jumps at the chance to tell us their way is right, despite universal consesus to the contrary, literally in this case. Lol. Im suprised no one suggested venus is the center of the universe. Lol.
And Venus always claims that she's not afraid to ask for directions when she's lost. ha.
To be honest, most of your observations are basically common sense. Of course, common sense is not quite as common as some like to make it out to be. So, I'm sure your post will set off light bulbs in quite a few readers' heads.
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