Minnesota

and on OUR profiles......
adsumsparkle 1094 reads
posted

we as providers need to tell everything about our physical appearance!!!! Hello??? If I were disabled, it would be on my TER PROFILE.....

I do not in anyway want to come off mean or uncaring but if you have a physical disability I, imho think you should let me know before we meet.

Not only so I know what to expect but also so I can say whether or not I am 1. comfortable with it (though I always have been) and 2. can say whether or not I feel we are compatible partners (i.e. I dont usually prefer CG. Not a big fan of it, and dont think I am the best at it. But If you have a disability where you require it, I would turn down the appointment so you are not disappointed.)

Is this wrong/out of line to expect this?

Seems like a reasonable request. I wouldn't want to blind-side a provider. The same way I would not want a provider to blind side me. As a hobbyist, I have turn down providers who blind-sided me and felt good about my decision. I think if a client does this to you, you have the right to cancel.

Although not visible, I have some issues myself, which affects scheduling and expectations regarding any meeting. Failing to tell you would be irresponsible, even if it is awkward for some. If the disability is significant, it seems like it would be outright silly not to inform you.

So, no, it's not wrong to expect this and you shouldn't have to ask, either.

....for them not to leave it out for this very reason. There are some ladies who are uncomfortable and might not be able to give the best experience because of it mentally or phyisically. And then it also allows ladies who are ok with it to maybe make special preparations to take extra care of them. I think them telling you of any disabilities is being as considerate of you as you are to them.

DickCurious766 reads

Likewise, you should be more open about what positions you are unable to adequately perform.

Posted By: TrulyMsMocha
....for them not to leave it out for this very reason. There are some ladies who are uncomfortable and might not be able to give the best experience because of it mentally or phyisically. And then it also allows ladies who are ok with it to maybe make special preparations to take extra care of them. I think them telling you of any disabilities is being as considerate of you as you are to them.  

Posted By: DickCurious
Likewise, you should be more open about what positions you are unable to adequately perform.
Posted By: TrulyMsMocha
....for them not to leave it out for this very reason. There are some ladies who are uncomfortable and might not be able to give the best experience because of it mentally or phyisically. And then it also allows ladies who are ok with it to maybe make special preparations to take extra care of them. I think them telling you of any disabilities is being as considerate of you as you are to them.  

Junk-N-Da-Trunk809 reads

Yeah, I lie about my age and yeah I'm more than 50 pounds more than I should be. But am I going to tell the next lady I plan on banging? Hell no! This is where you can tell the pros from the NO's. I'm sure your reviewer was much more disappointed than you are. He is PAYING  a pro to spend intimate time with him and make him feel special. Looks like you need some experience, compassion, or a new profession. His name certainly tells where he receives his passion..he loves giving women pleasure! What pro wouldn't want to hook up with a guy like that?

I think you need to look at this from the guy's perspective and quit feeling sorry for a crappy review. Perhaps learn from it?

Sorry for the alias. Bring on the backlashing but this is where the hobby is more for the paying customer.

1upnorth1494 reads

Ill also use an alias for personal reasons.  read the ladies reviews and put 2 and 2 together. she using a disability excuse to justify a bad review.There was a kissing issue, and other issues other than her ability to perform a normal sex position. I read all her reviews and i never saw an issue with the CG position. If you cant perform a normal position like CG list it so everyone knows ,dont come here with the disabilty BS looking for sympathy. JMO

It says in the review that we tried but it wasnt happening. I am not completely opposed to it, but Ive realized that I shouldnt even include it when its something I prefer not to offer.

HobbyCity1127 reads

What disability did the client have any way that you feel he should have disclosed?

Unless a client is morbidly obese, being overweight is typically not a disability that would cause most clients to disclose. Providers deal with overweight clients everyday.

1upnorth936 reads

i have to agree   after reading all her reviews and never a mention of her inability to perform CG position i believe its an excuse to justify a poor review. jmo

How does that make me not compassionate? I mentioned nothing about the review or reviewer, but of course you jump on the opportunity to start drama.

He should have told me before, there is no excuse for that. Whether or not he enjoyed himself is a whole other issue. And I feel bad that he didnt but also when you show up and I am not expecting that AT ALL it kinda threw me off. I am not an actress and I thought that was a good thing. So I am supposed to fake that I wasnt a little shocked and didnt know what to do about it?

I was posting this not because I wanted to justify anything, I was asking if I was wrong, and by most of the response I would say he should have told me, it isnt fair to providers.

As far as the CG thing, I dont have a problem with doing it, just dont prefer to because I dont enjoy it, and I dont want to fake it. If someone really wants me to then we can do that and then switch to something else but sorry, I do not plan on doing that the whole time. As with other parts of my service, I am working on things and this will be something I try to improve on (heck maybe im good at it and just think im not), but I dont write my reviews so I have no control over someone writing I do CG. I have been very open and honest with all of you, I make no qualms about my weight, looks or my services.

And as far as "common" disabilities, thats a little different then I am talking about. This was much more then that. I feel bad even mentioning him in this, but since you are making it about him then ok. (and Im sure IM going to be labeled as the "dramatic one" again)


-- Modified on 4/4/2012 11:50:38 AM

My personal viewpoint is he had a better chance of having a good experience with her if he had told her about this disability.  It's in his own self-interest.  And if for whatever reason she didn't want to see him because of it then he would definitely be better off going elsewhere.

something like this, maybe the provider is entitled to a heads-up. A business translation, a contract, requires a meeting of the minds. If only one of the parties is lying (we know it can go both ways), it's a problem!

Posted By: Junk-N-Da-Trunk
but this is where the hobby is more for the paying customer.

Hi,

W/me It's more like...

Posted By: mark.4444
something like this, maybe the provider is entitled to a heads-up. A business translation, a contract, requires a meeting of the minds. If only one of the parties is lying (we know it can go both ways), it's a problem!
Posted By: Junk-N-Da-Trunk
but this is where the hobby is more for the paying customer.

Hi,

I see many compassionate women when I tell them of my disability!! Case in point I've been in constant contact w/ Melissa, & she's fine w/ my disability!!  just Sayin'

Posted By: Junk-N-Da-Trunk
Yeah, I lie about my age and yeah I'm more than 50 pounds more than I should be. But am I going to tell the next lady I plan on banging? Hell no! This is where you can tell the pros from the NO's. I'm sure your reviewer was much more disappointed than you are. He is PAYING  a pro to spend intimate time with him and make him feel special. Looks like you need some experience, compassion, or a new profession. His name certainly tells where he receives his passion..he loves giving women pleasure! What pro wouldn't want to hook up with a guy like that?

I think you need to look at this from the guy's perspective and quit feeling sorry for a crappy review. Perhaps learn from it?

Sorry for the alias. Bring on the backlashing but this is where the hobby is more for the paying customer.
-- Modified on 4/6/2012 3:58:19 AM

It makes sense to me to let the provider know ahead of time about such things; it gives the best chance for a good time to be had.

If you are talking about an inability to have sex in common positions or being in a wheelchair or some sort of disfigurement, I think its on him. But just age, weakness, obesity, or carpal tunnel are common enough among us that I doubt those should be considered a need for disclosure in advance.  Lots of us prefer CG due to various age related factors. I cant recall a provider where thats been an issue unless she had a recent injury, and in which case its on her for not cautioning a guy ahead of time. I know its difficult to discuss these things up front due to security concerns. But I think its a reasonable expectation for any full service provider to be ok with common positions - mish, doggie, and CG. If not, then you can expect an occassional problem. And if you are engaging a prospective client via PM's or email, you also have the opportunity to ask questions about the client's general condition and whether he has any special requirements.

I guess one simple guideline for considering someone disabled is whether they qualify for a handicap parking space, lol.

-- Modified on 4/4/2012 5:27:55 AM

This is a business that requires you to be physically intimate; to give of your body.  It's also a business based on express negotiation of the terms of the deal.  If important facts are hidden on either side, then the basis of the transaction is undermined.  You are entitled to feel comfortable; the hobbyist should advise of any factors that may affect the experience.  

How many hobbyists would complain if a provider had an undisclosed condition?  Bet your bottom dollar it would show up on the boards in screams!

Posted By: khloe_mn
I do not in anyway want to come off mean or uncaring but if you have a physical disability I, imho think you should let me know before we meet.

Not only so I know what to expect but also so I can say whether or not I am 1. comfortable with it (though I always have been) and 2. can say whether or not I feel we are compatible partners (i.e. I dont usually prefer CG. Not a big fan of it, and dont think I am the best at it. But If you have a disability where you require it, I would turn down the appointment so you are not disappointed.)

Is this wrong/out of line to expect this?

smoking, facial hair, weight (more than 50#), health problems, circumcision, skin conditions, and personality among other things?

Good communication leads to good sessions.

I agree with Pollen broker. We are engaging in INTIMACY....Im sorry, but we NEED to know and DESERVE to know the details of any conditions you may have. Just becuz we are in the sex industry and you are paying us does NOT mean we should be doormats. That is like saying, "im paying you, so you should let me go to greece...you shud let me do whatever I want to you"....BULLSHIT. We as providers are running a business and have the right to say, "no shoes, no shirt, no service".......

I have alot of love for both parties involved here....so I see both sides. But as a provider, We deserve to know all details beforehand and then make our own informed decision.....

...by disability, do you mean a small penis? In that case, yes it's wrong for you to expect me to tell you that up front.

hehe.. I am more then able to handle that "disability"

Thanks for the support guys. I was in no way arguing the review, it is his opinion and he is allowed it.
The review simply brought to mind an issue that I thought should be talked about.

I am more then happy to see people who have any physical disabilities and will do everything I can to work with them, but I do feel it is something you should be upfront about to make sure we will have the best time. (when I have been notified in the past about such things I did my research to see what I could do to make it go better and how to make him feel as comfortable as possible)
I would of just liked it to be something I knew so I didnt spend the first half of the session tip toeing around it and not sure what to do.

He was a very nice man and I wish our visit could of been better, honestly

Posted By: rustyguy68
...by disability, do you mean a small penis? In that case, yes it's wrong for you to expect me to tell you that up front.
-- Modified on 4/4/2012 10:02:10 PM

I always tell them, for me it would be ridiculous not too.  This is hard for my friends, as well as I. Not  one lady has turned me down, and when one does I will not be offended, and she should not feel any guilt.

Posted not knowing both sides, or the disability.

-- Modified on 4/4/2012 11:48:09 PM

Posted By: khloe_mn
I do not in anyway want to come off mean or uncaring but if you have a physical disability I, imho think you should let me know before we meet.

Not only so I know what to expect but also so I can say whether or not I am 1. comfortable with it (though I always have been) and 2. can say whether or not I feel we are compatible partners (i.e. I dont usually prefer CG. Not a big fan of it, and dont think I am the best at it. But If you have a disability where you require it, I would turn down the appointment so you are not disappointed.)

Is this wrong/out of line to expect this?

MyLittleAlias1142 reads

Folks, I PM'd Khloe and asked her what this gent's condition was and, in my opinion, she should have been told ahead of time and given a choice of seeing him or not seeing him.   I feel for her in this instance.  I have been there and feel bad for her.

I had a client once who complained of back pain the ENTIRE time he was with me.  He could not stand up or switch positions without complaining about how much it hurt him.   Needless to say, I did not want to hurt the man and was afraid to touch him for fear that I would cause him even more pain.   His review was mediocre at best.  I do not feel it was my fault that his date did not go well.  This man told me he had a back injury but he did not make it clear to me just how bad it was.   He repeatedly moaned and groaned and kept telling me how much he hurt.  It did not help that he did alot of driving the day before and the day of our date.   Had he told me ahead of time that he was going to complain about the pain the entire time, I would have passed on seeing him.

As a person with a chronic pain condition, I know and understand how debilitating it can be.  There are days that I literally cannot move. However, I do not normally complain about it during a date....my gentleman friends never know about my condition during our intimate time.  Regardless of how much it hurts, I smile and enjoy the gent's company.  Only my longtime regulars know of it and even then I do not complain during our intimate time.

Khloe's date was not a guy with a chronic pain condition but was something serious enough to have been forewarned.   Providers have the right to see whomever they want.  And their clients have the responsibility to inform them of conditions that may limit them or affect the quality of the date.  

The best thing that she could have done once he arrived at her incall and she noticed his condition would have been to give the donation back and politely decline the date.  He would have saved himself some money and would have had the opportunity to find someone who could show him a good time.  If no money was exchanged and nothing happened, he would not have been able to review her.  

Not everyone is comfortable with people with certain disabilities. That does not make her a bad person.   We do not know her reasons behind her feelings...they may be perfectly legitimate.    

Let these trolls get to you. All you wanted was some friendly advice. Guys, give her a break.  It looks to me like a lot more guys are on your side on this. I have never met you Khloe, but you sound like a very intelligent, warm and caring person. I may have to arrange something with you...

MNG

palski11033 reads

Hi Khloe,
My name is Phoebe, and I want to add my 2 cents:)
I generally don't post a lot on this board but this thread pisses me off.
These morons are worse than chick fight any day, all puffed up, spouting aliases because their pussy-asses can't be real.  Excuse me...an alias due to "personal reasons"?  WTF??  WHY???  These "gents" are terrified someone will call them out on their asshole-ish and immature behavior.  The moral of the story, in my point of view, is what adsumsparkle said.  I would be repulsed if Fat Bastard from Austin Powers came waltzing in and expected me to get all over him.  Don't sweat about that poor review, babe.  He is probably mad because he has a small dick, and BO.  
Keep on keeping on, don't lose any sleep over these negative comments.  
Peace!
PHOEBE

Posted By: khloe_mn
I do not in anyway want to come off mean or uncaring but if you have a physical disability I, imho think you should let me know before we meet.

Not only so I know what to expect but also so I can say whether or not I am 1. comfortable with it (though I always have been) and 2. can say whether or not I feel we are compatible partners (i.e. I dont usually prefer CG. Not a big fan of it, and dont think I am the best at it. But If you have a disability where you require it, I would turn down the appointment so you are not disappointed.)

Is this wrong/out of line to expect this?

If a lady has many positive reviews and then recieves a bad one like this I would assume the reviewer has a small dick too!

palski11042 reads

Just as I imagined, my original post was not accepted by the Powers-that-be for TER.  
What i wanted to say is, I agree with adsumsparkle, don't let these mommy boys get to you, I find it hilarious that they hide behind aliases because they have to balls to be real.  Take their opinions with a grain of salt.  Freaks.
Stay strong, Miss Lady,
PHOEBE
(OMG I just let people know who I am!  The horrors of truth!)

Big-Bad-John1211 reads

I know they were overcrowded Phoebe but at least it's not cold outside  :)

Nice to see you regurgitate again.

palski11043 reads

Thank you:)  Anytime sweet cheeks.

Simple question and seeking some thoughts. Wow. Oh yah I'm an alias because of security and whatever crap people come up with for using then. Funny how must aliases are the cranky grumpy people. Huh. Ironic? Don't think so.

I think your question is valid. The CG stuff. A lot of providers say they give head but when you read reviews it sucked, lasted thirty seconds and they don't like doing it. But many will if we ask. Might not be great but they try. So they should just list it as no bjs than according to some thoughts.

Oh yah some massages say no sex but you can read the reviews and they do. Oh no!! That's wrong too!

drdimsum1245 reads

Thank you Judy Garland.

Talk to you soon. xo

Posted By: drdimsum
Thank you Judy Garland.

Hi Khloe,

I used to be of the opinion Why should I tell her, for If I don't have a problem w/it why should they have a problem w/it?? Then one day i traveled a long way into the city w/o telling her & I was turned away!! Oh well... lesson learned!! I offer no Ill will toward a woman who will not see disabled people, for there are  many who will see me!!  BTW, what do you mean by CG??

-- Modified on 4/6/2012 4:17:57 AM

we as providers need to tell everything about our physical appearance!!!! Hello??? If I were disabled, it would be on my TER PROFILE.....

As a client with a fairly severe physical disability, I can't imagine not disclosing my disability to a provider in the initial communication. It's simply the polite and honest thing to do. And I would not be offended at all if a provider told me she wasn't comfortable seeing someone with a disability. The experience is far better if both parties know what to expect from each other.

I also want to give a shout-out to Hilary and Jayden, two wonderful providers who never even blinked when confronted with  scope of my disability. I'm sure they could do a whole class on working with clients with disabilities. I just hope they let me assist with demonstrations. :)

Register Now!