Legal Corner

Re: Generally speaking, having a GF or seeing an escort is not relevant
harborview 10 Reviews 1560 reads
posted

Don't feel bad...  I gave "what's-her-name" a 1 year old GMC pickup, all paid for, to get her to sign off (on the property settlement) which was done separately.  Yes, I should have got more but I also wanted it over.   I had sold my stake in a business (some 50K) but the money was gone...  essencially there was nothing much left to fight over.   We'd lived in her house while mine had been rented so hers was maintained & improved while mine was sucked dry.   We both agreed to leave each other's houses alone.  Really the vehicles were about all we had to split.  

You will forever think you should have got more...  as I do now...  but it was worth it!   I WON!!  Why?  Because I got rid of her, I got to pickup the pieces & move on.  

Oh, yes, she went back to being a bar fly...  (my mistake was in not understanding that was a life choice & not just an ammusement between relationships).  She wrecked the truck driving drunk within 6 months.   Karma!!

HV

bigman08963775 reads

Hey all, I've reached the breaking point with my wife, but need advice from both providers and hobbyists, and here's why: I've participated in the hobby about 10 times in the few years I've been married to my wife. She doesn't know, or I'm sure I'd have heard about it from her. Problem is that if I file for divorce and whoever she hires to be her lawyer subpoenas internet, phone, and credit card records, I won't be able to hide what I've been doing anymore. This presents a couple problems from what I can see: 1) I may not get a fair shake on the divorce settlement. I can try to justify my hobbying since my wife has treated me like total garbage for a long time and talks horribly about my family behind their backs, but I don't know that a judge/arbitrator would agree. 2) If I know my wife, and she finds out about specific ladies I've seen, she'll report them to the authorities, which will make life hard for them at the least. I'm sure a lawyer would tell me to worry about myself first, and I somewhat agree, but I don't wanna be responsible for any provider going to jail, and I feel like I would be if it happened. I welcome any insight anyone has, but I'm specifically looking for advice from 2 groups: 1) Fellow hobbyists who have dealt with trying to hide their hobbying during a divorce or have actually had their hobbying come up during a divorce, and 2) providers who may have had to deal with being investigated thanks to the angry wife/girlfriend of one of their clients. Please don't PM me as I don't have VIP and can't read PMs. Thanks in advance for reading and sharing your advice on this.

except after the fact, this is why anyone who wants things to be secret should not use their regular email account or credit cards..  but then, you already know that.

Having been through the legal system you are about to embark upon, I would simply suggest that you do whatever you can to clean things up, with the certain expectation she will look. But really, there is no reason for her (or lawyer) to look for these things, unless they have a reason to do so. All depends on the grounds being sought, and your resistance to paying whatever she wants. No one is interested in all this discovery process unless they have reason to beleive they need to.

and I sincerely doubt that any provider is going to jail...unless you had a hidden camera and something incriminating. This is a hobby....and it is consensual..and every website I have ever seen talks about escorting for companionship...why in the worlkd would anyone go to jail for that...

bigman08961817 reads

I use a different e-mail, and have made cash advances on the credit cards so there's no record of where the money went, but it'd be dicey trying to explain where a couple thousand have gone in the past 6 months alone. I'd feel better if not for that. And please let me know what you mean by cleaning this up, as I'd love to know how to do that.



-- Modified on 3/15/2012 2:37:52 PM

I agree, what state you live in matters. Here in WI, the only type of divorce you can get is a 'No faults divorce'. Meaning there does not have to be a reason, & even if there is one, it doesn't matter to the judge & he doesn't want to hear it. Nothing you did matters in a divorce preceding here in WI.. shoot, my dad was LIVING with his new girlfriend during the divorce, & it didn't matter. My divorce, I had so much on my ex, but again, did not matter.

But I agree, clean up whatever you can, delete any contact info you have for ladies you've seen, erase your computer's history - wipe the hard drive if you need to,

Even if your wife finds out you have been hobbying, unless you tell her or have saved info, she wont know who with - we don't use our real names so who is she going to tell authorities to go after?  Also how will she prove that anything took place?  

The few times I've ever encounted an angry wife, I easily explain it was a wrong number or he was calling to ask about somethign I was selling on CL or some other plausible excuse as to why he was talking to me.

So I dont think you need to worry too much about any of the ladies you have seen unless your wife can get their real names and addresses.

You need to worry about yourself, not us.

Perhaps the best course of action is to simply liquidate all of your assets you possibly can to cash.... fake your death....and start a new life.  You wife will be rewarded your life insurrance and plenty more from what you would have to leave behind....like the equity in your home.  But she's probably gonna end up with most of everything anyways. Now you are free to start a whole new life....maybe in some exotic land.  Believe me a grieving widow is much better than a pissed off EX !  Really...this is your only way out.....Well, with one possible exception.

Sit down with an attorney....share with hin/her your concern. They will likely refer you to a P.I. for the more delicate issues you are worried about. They will be able to advise you. This probably makes more sense than my first tounge in cheek [ somewhat] suggestion.

Good luck

CCBill has a cover name that appears on your statement and unless she obtains a court order and is looking for something CCBill cannot and will not offer your name and information up is asked. I think
you should call your CC company  and ask them to issue you a new card and stop using it to pay CCBill
use green dot and hide it or write the numbers down and throw it away.

Just because you look at girlie sites, or wander to adult websites are no grounds for divorce.
You aren't commiting adultry by looking . Even in a strip club it's not going to hurt you.Besides
she would have to have followed you , have photos of you having sex with a provider to have any
case to be heard.

And as for the providers you have met , it would take alot of effort to set up a girl and generally even though stupid cops try to arrest single independent providers they really do want the bigger fish to fry.
No one cares about the independents they are more concerned with agency,drugs, children on the net
and pimps . And her work would require spending endless hours of setting someone up .

Sorry for your situation I bet you can't wait to be a free man!

Angela

If you Google CCBIll,however, you get a bunch of hits that clearly show "adult entertainment."

Any attorney who's gone to the trouble to subpoena someone's credit card history is going to investigate all charges. "Michelin Tire" is not likely to be googled, but anything else that is not clearly what it looks like will be checked out by a competent attorney.

The trick is to settle BEFORE any of this ever happens.

Why would you file? If the relationship is truly broken and you want out your best chance for surviving is to talk openly with her about it, chances are she feels the same way. Do not slap her first with divorce papers that is a sure fire way to get hell coming your way immediately. Figure out the expenses that it takes to keep her in the "lifestyle" she is accustomed to and be ready to support that. If there are kids take 20% of your net monthly for the first child and for each additional add 10%. That is on top of the money talked about as lifestyle. This truly will depend on what state you are in and the percentages are SWAG estimates. However they are close to reality. Your income and her income will be balanced so I am giving you the high side of an estimate but again SWAG.

If you truly want to keep your activities below the surface be generous. If you want ugly fight about stuff. Most Family Lawyers live for ugly divorces. If you can , as peacefully as possible, use the same Lawyer once you two iron out the details. If she fights you are screwed, especially if you have kids. Without kids it really is just a monetary issue. Again man be generous and get on with your life.

Now if you are hell bent on firing the first shot go and talk to the "best" family Lawyers in your area. They will then not be able to represent her but they could hand it off to a partner or a junior lawyer in the firm and that is why I specify go talk to the best you can find.

You will be your best advocate so if it is truly broken, do your best to have an open conversation with her and work out your own seperation details.

Just an Old Ugly Fat fuck with an opinion. And in these matters some lengthy experience.

bigman08962444 reads



Thankfully, we have no kids, and as for supporting her, I may not have much to worry about there as our individual incomes are nearly identical, though mine is slightly higher. I make about $1,225 every 2 weeks, and she makes about $1,170 every 2 weeks.

Posted By: Stogiemanedu
Why would you file? If the relationship is truly broken and you want out your best chance for surviving is to talk openly with her about it, chances are she feels the same way. Do not slap her first with divorce papers that is a sure fire way to get hell coming your way immediately. Figure out the expenses that it takes to keep her in the "lifestyle" she is accustomed to and be ready to support that. If there are kids take 20% of your net monthly for the first child and for each additional add 10%. That is on top of the money talked about as lifestyle. This truly will depend on what state you are in and the percentages are SWAG estimates. However they are close to reality. Your income and her income will be balanced so I am giving you the high side of an estimate but again SWAG.

If you truly want to keep your activities below the surface be generous. If you want ugly fight about stuff. Most Family Lawyers live for ugly divorces. If you can , as peacefully as possible, use the same Lawyer once you two iron out the details. If she fights you are screwed, especially if you have kids. Without kids it really is just a monetary issue. Again man be generous and get on with your life.

Now if you are hell bent on firing the first shot go and talk to the "best" family Lawyers in your area. They will then not be able to represent her but they could hand it off to a partner or a junior lawyer in the firm and that is why I specify go talk to the best you can find.

You will be your best advocate so if it is truly broken, do your best to have an open conversation with her and work out your own seperation details.

Just an Old Ugly Fat fuck with an opinion. And in these matters some lengthy experience.

first hand. Someone I saw had written a review about me. Well, he used his real email address that he uses for everything (dumb move in itself). This has been many years ago...it didn't hurt his divorce case it just hurt him because of the stupidity of using his real email address. The judge was a little peeved at him and gave him a weekend in jail for his trying to deny the information. I was never contacted, never had any LE trying to entrap me. A divorce judge could care less about these things.  

He also was treated badly by his ex and had plenty of evidence to back up his case. My best advice is to not get confrontational with her at any point. You may have to give in a little to walk away from this but I would definitely try to do it as clean and painless as possible. There would be no reason for subpeona of records if you insist on mediation...your reason would be that we can work this out amicably.  This will stop everything in its tracks because no judge will be involved. It will be just you and her and a mediator.

Getting divorced was my most expensive and sanest investment!!!! Would do it all over again, differently because I've learned, but would do it alllllllll over  again... What price Sanity???? PRICELESS!!!!!!

There are several seriously grad/post grad degreed and Microsoft certified geeky providers and hobbyist who can clean the shit out of all your systems almost all the way to your isp server. Please pm or email me for their contact information.

This is for all the females: PLEASE GO JOIN AND USE "SAFE OFFICE"....it will save you and your clients a world of trouble if your computer/smart phone is ever not in your control. For the GUYS there are a team of geeky providers and hobbyist who are currently developing offshore databases to store hobby information, that database is ginormous and a pain in the ass, but it is being built as I type and should be out in about 6-9 months at the very very latest.... BUT UNTIL THAT HARD CODING is done...

PLEASE
PLEASE
PLEASE
PLEASE

Go to the Droid Market Place and purchase "SPC" Pro....the ap is self explanatory.

Depending on where you live, there are tons of very hobby friendly lawyers who can help you clean your hobby history......I can point you to a few I know to be very discreet and smart as hell.

I'm not an attorney.....I am a very naughty geeky girl..... but I can help you with a great piece of advice which is:
delete any hobby account you have where the site can be publicly accessed...and browsed without the user actually signing in....sites with blank landing pages or sign up only access to ANY portion of their site screams DISCRETION...other than that a good search of your history on your system is going to be entirely too easy to see exactly what you are doing.

....and as for purchases GreenDot is your friend.

https://safeoffice.com/Login.php

Sorry to post off topic, but you mention  hobby friendly attorneys.

I am trying like hell to find a hobby-freindly accountant, and am amazed that I cannot find one. Amazing.

I don't normally post here any more but I feel for you.  I am not a lawyer and you need to consult one right away.  Do NOT simply rely on the advice you get here.  Some might be good, a lot could be mis-informed and destructive to you.  The only thing I'll say is that a divorce action does NOT, IMO, entitle an attorney to subpoena your Internet and phone records.  Credit card records may be another matter, as they pertain to the spending of marital assets.  So I hope you have not been paying providers with your credit card because that's dangerous from the LE and fraud perspective, too.  If you've paid for things like a TER subscription (I guess not or you'd have VIP) or hotels from the credit card, that's not good but probably not disastrous.
Anyway, in most states divorce is "no fault" so infidelity may not affect the outcome.
What you will have to provide is full disclosure of your income and assets.  Don't try to hide anything or it may go worse for you.  But, please, consult a good lawyer before you do anything.  He'll give you a full picture of what to expect. Relying on this board for more advice than that is like asking the board for advice on STDs for a spot on your dick instead of seeing a doctor.

bigman08962627 reads

I haven't directly used credit cards to pay any provider. What I've done is get cash advances on the cards and use the cash to pay the providers. So, it would be pretty much impossible to trace the cash itself, but the cash advances paired with my internet history would make things ugly. As for everyone telling me to clean my PC, I work in corporate IT, so I can handle that. That's been done. My problem is that internet service providers keep their own records, and short of being the hacker I'm not, I don't know how to clear my history on their systems.

Posted By: inicky46
I don't normally post here any more but I feel for you.  I am not a lawyer and you need to consult one right away.  Do NOT simply rely on the advice you get here.  Some might be good, a lot could be mis-informed and destructive to you.  The only thing I'll say is that a divorce action does NOT, IMO, entitle an attorney to subpoena your Internet and phone records.  Credit card records may be another matter, as they pertain to the spending of marital assets.  So I hope you have not been paying providers with your credit card because that's dangerous from the LE and fraud perspective, too.  If you've paid for things like a TER subscription (I guess not or you'd have VIP) or hotels from the credit card, that's not good but probably not disastrous.
Anyway, in most states divorce is "no fault" so infidelity may not affect the outcome.
What you will have to provide is full disclosure of your income and assets.  Don't try to hide anything or it may go worse for you.  But, please, consult a good lawyer before you do anything.  He'll give you a full picture of what to expect. Relying on this board for more advice than that is like asking the board for advice on STDs for a spot on your dick instead of seeing a doctor.

creoleash2093 reads

Providers are investigated anytime they are on any website. They have pictures already printed of every woman on the web. Trust me I know.

They arent going to take the time to investigate a provider. Its not worth it to them. Yes they can try and book an appt with them but if they screen and expect references from reputable women there shouldnt be a problem.

So as far as your wife trying to inflict misery on a provider...a highly doubt that could happen. She doesnt have the evidence or authority to throw anyone in jail. I wouldnt care how much money you spent on the lady. Unless, she is in the room with the LE then there is nothing she can do. And I would be careful if I were her as well as a provider can make her life just as miserable.

Now, your situation is all hersay. Yes, they can find that you spent money through CC but what evidence do they really have? Unless, the provider decides to come to court which I highly doubt, you should be fine.

Ok. So you spent some money on erotic websites. Who cares. This is all fantasy and unless the women you seen are willing to testify which would ruin their reputation on being discreet I wouldnt worry about it.

Good luck.

Third_Time_Charm1917 reads

You are too close to the situation.

Find a good lawyer who is tough, competent AND (this is the hard part) actually ethical.

The advice about cleaning the traces you've left behind is all good. But a sharp but ethical lawyer willing to do your bidding is like gold. Mine kept the process on track and the costs low. It started amicably enough (she wanted out but couldn't pull the trigger so I did). Then she got POed about her being divorced and went bezerk to try to get more than the settlement offered.

My guy was great. He never ran up charges but discreetly ignored provocations. He kept the "easter egg hunt" down to current balances only. Past records were never brought into play.
In the end she settled for what was initially offered. The difference was the whole thing cost her 10 times as much as it cost me.

You need to find a lawyer who is GOOD and BUSY and ETHICAL so he doesn't NEED to bill you an hour every time the other side has a hissing fit.

What about phone records?  Hobby phone would be worth it's weight in gold right now.  

EZ pass tolls anyplace you should not have been?  CC use anyplace you should not have been.  In any event, deny, deny, deny.  They can suspect all they want...  you do not have to confirm it for them.  If they ask about the money...  admit you spent it.  It's gone.  

I never hobbied before my divorce...  but have seen some nasty divorces go down & yes, the lawyers were the only winners.  

Strip clubs, gambling, drinking...  Is there a casino near you?  

Delete everything off your computer & then wipe with a program like CCCleaner on the most secure setting or take it to a shop to have done.  

I will tell you not to hide money.  The courts will find it & that pisses the judge off.  The only thing that is not traceable is CASH.  
Don't do what I did!!  I liquidated my gun collection (premaritial asset) I had a friend put the cash in his account to hold for me.  He had an accident & when he could not pay the hospital bill, they siezed his account.  
I'd have been better off with a coffee can in my parent's basement where I ended up living.  

Secure your tax returns & property deeds.  You'll have to produce them at the appropriate moment but keep them from disappearing.  If there are any portable valueables you should inventory & record & preferably secure.  Again, do not hide them or deny you have them.    
A friend discovered his tax records missing, stuffed with newspapers matching the dates his soon to be ex visited to try to talk things through.  The judge found him in contempt for not producing the records, he brought the HRBlock envolupes into court.  Ex's lawyer asked questions they would only ask if they had the records...  fortunately the judge caught on.

I will tell you that neither party ever gets what they want...  they always want 90-10.  A settlement is just that...  it is what the party agrees to "settle for".  The more urgent one is to settle, the less bargaining power they / you have.  

Watch your CCs, that she does not run up a bill to punish you.  Address this with your lawyer.

Best Wishes,
H

Get a good councellor (family centered psycologist).  This is not for co-councelling, but just for you.

Divorce is a mind numbing, soul wrenchiing, physically draining process.  I went through it about ten years ago.

I saw a councellor many times through out the process and I'm very glad I did.  It gave me the backing to stand up for myself and remain strong.  You'll need every ounce of that strength.

if they do not find other tracks.   With virtual identical income & no children support should not be an issue.  When it comes to dividing property, don't offer an accounting but subtract your missing funds from your side.  Makes you look more reasonable.   Basically give her what she wants.  If she wants her car...  fine.  She wants furnature...  fine.   House...  gotta split the big one or one buys the other out.  That can be tough in this market...  a real wild card.  It might be a house, with a morgage & other upkeep costs, is really a liability on one income.  
The one thing that HURT ME the most was that my ex...  had made her mind up long before that she really did not want to be married to me.  She would never tell me...  never did.  She finially told the high prided second councilor with permission to tell me.  I was blindsided.  This after 4 years on my part of trying to mend things because I did love her.   She had acted out to drive me away...  but I loved her & hung on too long.  I would have been way ahead monitarily but more importantly emotionally, if she had been truthful.    
You need counciling.  Absolutely.  Go do it.  Get the best you can afford (I had money issues & went the cheap route initially... big mistake. ).   What will likely come out is you've changed.  Grown apart.  You want to be honest with her.  Take the blame to let her down easy.  "It's not her fault."   If you don't love her anymore & there is no hope of fixing it than it would be wrong to have her go through the motions when you know in your heart you are not in it.  She should also have counciling, probably separate but some joint sessions possible.  (The counciling gives an impression of being conflicted & self discovery...  ;)  
The better she takes this, the easier the divorce will be.   As likely as not, she knows the marriage is on the rocks.    
If the marriage is to end, the best you can hope for is a fair division.  Remember what I said earlier...  no one ever gets what they think they deserve.  In the end a settlement is what each side agrees to accept.  Not fighting it out, keeps the money to divide among you in stead of giving it to the lawyers.  Sorry, I know I am stepping on toes here.    

You will likely lose money in the deal...  the sooner it is over, the sooner you can begin to rebuild your wealth.
Grounds:  irreconcilable differences.   It's not a lie.  She will not agree to your hobby.   irreconcilable differences it is.  

I am genuinely sorry if you ever loved her, that is has come to this.  Sometimes life is not the Fairy Tale we read as children.   I wish you both well.
HV

bigman08962082 reads

I'd ideally like to get as close to half of everything as possible just because of the highway to hell this marriage has become, but honestly, if push came to shove, except for my half of the house itself that I feel like I completely deserve, she could have damn near everything we've been given/accumulated since we've been married. There are a few things I'd like to have, but as long as I get my truck, the stuff I had before we were married, and my half of the house, she could have the rest if it meant ending this quicker and more efficiently. I'm at the point where I just want to move on with my life, and given that I'm looking at moving into my parents' place for at least about a half year until I'm in a better place psychologically and financially, I won't have anywhere to put furniture, etc., anyway.

bigman08961897 reads

And to respond to the end of your message, harbor_view, I did love her once, but that got in the way of making a rational decision. We had been dating just over 2 years, and about when I thought I was ready to propose, I ended up losing the job I had at the time. Looking back, I should have taken that as a sign that we shouldn't be together. Towards the end of our third year together, she began dropping less and less subtle hints that she wanted a ring, until the point one day where she finally went off on me on a 20 minute tirade about how she wasn't going to wait around for me forever and I how I had better decide what I wanted to do about us. We were sitting in my old truck at the parking lot of a store near her mom's house, and I wish to this day that I had dropped her off and home and let that be that. Would have been a million times easier to get out than it will be now since we weren't even engaged then, much less married. But, because I kept telling myself that I loved her, I proposed and she accepted a couple months later even though deep down I knew she was the only one of the 2 of us who wanted the marriage. I told myself that I would grow to want it as much as her over time, and that hasn't ever happened to this day. Some will surely say that I'm an a-hole for leading her on to a certain extent these years since then, and that's fine. They're entitled to their opinion. I can see their point, but I also know she's an entirely different beast when other people are around than she is when we're alone together. She's got everyone fooled, my family especially, which hurts even more given the venomous crap she says about them when they're not around. Looking at it honestly, I suppose she and I are about equally responsible for this mess. I don't know. I could ramble on all day. I just know it's never gonna be what a marriage should be. As effed up as it sounds, a small part of me will probably always love her given the amount of years we've been together since we started dating and some good times we've shared. But I know deep down that enough is enough and this has to end. I'll be better off without her, and quite frankly, she'll probably be better off without me too.

bigman,
I feel your pain.  I also should not have gone through with the marriage...  we hit a rough patch before the wedding & I tried to be the good guy & went through with it.  Instead I had my heart dragged through the dirt and ended up with a bankrupsie.
 
In reading through your reply, I think you are in a good place mentally & have a clear view on the property.  There is nothing wrong with moving home.  
I ended up in my Dad's unfiniished basement office...  my bedroom set (back out of the marriage but swapped mattresses with another in their house for emotinal reasons) & a space heater.   At least this heads off accusations of you cheating.  

I recently reconnected with a long lost love from years ago.  There is a part of me that will always love her.  But I do not love her now...  Nor does she love me.  

It is good that you can see your share in the blame...  though love really should not be a blame game, it is too often made one.   I hope she can be as enlightened.   If you'd both be better off on your own...   that is a honest sentiment.   I still feel you should not break it off on your own.  

A good councilor should not tell you what to do...  SHOULD act as a sounding board, maybe ask questions as you work through your own decisions.  You do not want to HURT her.   Causing her pain will only make it harder for both of you.  

Good luck,
HV        

In all states there are no fault divorce laws.  So having a girlfriend, screwing an escort, spending money on port, etc. is just not relevant to the "divorce" issue.  Now does that make you an unfit parent for custody issues?  Also, since having sex generally is not "abnormal" human behavior, even then it takes a lot to be used against someone.
As far as the escorts being ratted out, well, there are reasons a smart professional person in an adult industry should use disposable phones, and take other precautions.  It's just not clients who become obssessed but what is the saying, "Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned"  So relax, get yourself a good blow job, fuck a nice girl, and don't forget the reason to use a pro is often as purportedly stated by Charley Sheen, he didn’t pay prostitutes for the sex; he paid them “to leave.”

bigman08962339 reads

Quotes like that reaffirm my belief that though he may be certificably insane, Charlie Sheen is one of the great philosophers of our time. I suppose in a way that once all is said and done and the dust has settled from everything becoming final, I'll basically have ended up paying my wife to leave.

Don't feel bad...  I gave "what's-her-name" a 1 year old GMC pickup, all paid for, to get her to sign off (on the property settlement) which was done separately.  Yes, I should have got more but I also wanted it over.   I had sold my stake in a business (some 50K) but the money was gone...  essencially there was nothing much left to fight over.   We'd lived in her house while mine had been rented so hers was maintained & improved while mine was sucked dry.   We both agreed to leave each other's houses alone.  Really the vehicles were about all we had to split.  

You will forever think you should have got more...  as I do now...  but it was worth it!   I WON!!  Why?  Because I got rid of her, I got to pickup the pieces & move on.  

Oh, yes, she went back to being a bar fly...  (my mistake was in not understanding that was a life choice & not just an ammusement between relationships).  She wrecked the truck driving drunk within 6 months.   Karma!!

HV

bigman08961831 reads

If I had to give my what's-her-name my vehicle, we'd have a problem. It's my dream vehicle, less than a year old, and was an extremely generous surprise gift from my parents. I only wish that just my name was on the title instead of mine and my wife's, though I don't know enough about marriage/divorce law to know if that'd matter anyway. My guess is it doesn't since I imagine anything can be negotiated, and it's all about what both sides will agree to. I can only say I will be one extremely angry SOB if I end up having to sign my truck over to her to end this mess.

There may be items of sentimental value or significant value...  but since neither side will get to keep "all" it is wise to prioritize your stuff...   To get your first choices, you may have to give up lower prority item.   But in the long run, most "stuff" does not matter.  And yes, once you have moved on, if it's important to you, you can get more & better stuff.  
The most important thing is the finality of it.  Myself & soon to be ex negociated a property settlement months before the divorce got to court.  
It is normal for one party to move out in a divorce situation.  Items you really don't want to lose, should be relocated out of her reach along with that.   Like I said before, you'll have to account for it in the settlement but at least you haven't lost it.  I would take      
I don't care whose name it's in, but you can't take her vehicle so she can't get to work...  nor she yours.  If I'd have been smarter, I'd have taken my sports car back sooner...  that she was driving...  before she bunged it up...  and left the ordinary 1/2 ton GMC in it's spot.   (I really wanted to take the car from the motel where she was shacked up!  Miles outta town...  ;)  
A few other things I regret losing was the box of Christmas stockings & ornaments from her attic...  the stocking my Mom hand made in 1950 can never be replaced.  

The kicker on the truck I had to give up was she had come into the marriage with a ratty old pickup.  Owed more than it was worth.  I paid it off, she signed the title & I traded it when I bought the new truck.  It was solely in my name...  as were all the vehicles.  But if I took them all she'd not have had a way to get to work.   She drove my (premaritial) sports car until the settlement, but when I got it back the steering had been badly damaged & parts were not available.  So she again stung me.  
The property I grabbed, I kept & while it counted toward my share, at least it was not vandalized.  I was cleaning out my workshop when she came home early from work (think her GF had called her).  She called the Police (3 times) & told them "I was taking stuff".  The Cops asked if it was her stuff, she said no...  Cops told her to let me take my stuff & stay out of the way.   Cops didn't show but one who was a friend of my bro told me about it.   Possesion is 9/10s of the law.   I borrowed a friend's back shed for a year...  a storage unit would have been better but I was broke...    

If she has "her car" for transportation then what it is, matters less...  unless she wants to hurt you...
Since "your" vehicle is in both names, and was aquired during the marriage, probably marital property BUT that does not mean you can't balance the equiation.  It might mean she gets more of other property.   It really depends on how the negociations go.  There generally is no law that the split must be exactly even & it frequently isn't.   If you have the time & patience, you could play rough & maybe keep more though that certainly will increase the legal costs.  

I do not know the next full story...  my cousin came home & his soon to be ex had moved out with the baby...  and took every stick of furnature.  He drove several hours & rented a Uhaul to get his old furnature from his mother...    SURPRISE!!   I think that should be avoided if possible.  

Marriage is just legalized extortion.

his soon-to-be-ex had taken a high paid promotion teaching job out of state, supposed to come home weekends.  A little investigation showed there was somebody else.  She also failed to declare her bank account in the other state & it easily was found the penalties for purjury were invoked.  Don't do it.  It pisses the judges off.
HV

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