Legal Corner

While we're stretching our arms....
mrfisher 87 Reviews 3203 reads
1 / 5

I'm going to call a mathematician rather than a lawyer.

I mean, if he can convince a judge with this, then how hard could it be?

G2 1134 reads
2 / 5

And I got out of what would have been a very expensive ticket.  It was one of the few times I ever got to use my engineering degree.

The only reason I was able to prevail (without getting into details) is I had witnesses in several other cars at the intersection that gave me the necessary "data points", under oath, that I needed to plug in the equations.

I won't say that the judge actually understood the math I presented, because I'm sure he didn't, but I was able to demonstrate why the officer's statements couldn't be accurate.  That was good enough to get off in this particular case.

JB1982 17 Reviews 2062 reads
3 / 5

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, you can always try to baffle them with bullshit....

mrfisher 87 Reviews 1051 reads
4 / 5

I also managed to beat a traffic ticket once, but the incompetence of the registry was my salvation.

I was cited for driving in the breakdown lane at a construction site.  I did, in fact, drive in the breakdown lane because traffic was jammed up, and my exit was barely a quarter mile away.

When I got the summons for court however, the idiots cited me for "failure to keep to the right".

I let the trooper testify that the breakdown lane was on the right of the other lanes, then entered the summons into evidence and pointed out that the trooper testified that I was on the right.

The judge looked at it, and banged his gavel:  "Case dismissed."

I hightailed it out of that court.

Oh, and Trooper Pinky, if you're by any chance reading this, I owe you a beer some day.  Just pull me over and escort me to the nearest bar.  It's still the same car.

G2 1692 reads
5 / 5

I caught the cop in an obvious lie using his own testimony- he completely contradicted himself and said he pursued me while going 65 mph until he caught me, but said I was going 85 mph.  Exactly how does that work?

I was actually going the speed limit of 55 because I saw him from the very beginning, and this was a well-known trap area, but I was on a bike and cops hate bikes.

Despite making his testimony look like the lie that it was, I still got the ticket.  Then the cop cornered me in the hallway and said if I ever set foot in his town again he'd arrest me on sight!  Hey, officer, if you don't want to sound stupid in court, keep your mouth shut next time.  Otherwise, I can't help you.

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