I understand, TornalittleinDC,

But does your wife? Is she in on this program, or is she just agreeing to expand her horizons on principle rather than her own desire? Is she happy with things just the way they are?

If so, no amount of books will help. First order of change is her idea that sex is something cool and yes, kinky - if you want it to be.

It is also possible that she is lacking purely in the human sexual response knowledge department. I don't give much for sex ed in this country, and with her upbringing...well, there could be things she won't have any idea about.

My advice is to pursue tantra, together. Don't leave her in the lurch to seek out her own info from a book. I don't know your wife, but I know the M.O., and even if I recommend 10 books, they may very well go unread.

The trick is that you both need to discover something new TOGETHER. Ok, you may already know about tantra - you may even have tried it out - but if you both come as greenhorns to the table, she won't feel so left out and outdistanced by your "kinkability," so to speak.

Tantra is really neat, in that it's very egalitarian. There are zillions of tantra books; do a search on Amazon TOGETHER, to see if there's any tome that tickles your fancy. Or better yet, make an appointment with a tantra practitioner in your area. There are tantric experts - female, natch - who are very well versed in dealing with couples. She won't get into the action herself, i.e. no threesome here, but she will softly "direct traffic" and be very helpful. Tantra is also interesting because instead of "pussy and dick" you've got "yoni and lingam." It's both literary, exotic and interesting.

I highly recommend that this become a mutual project of discovery. Who knows - your wife may have hidden talents! Maybe they just need to be cloaked in something a little more esoteric and lovely than a cocksucking leatherfest...for now, anyway.

Try it, you may like it,
the Love Goddess

Reading books, talking to her, and counseling could all help, but remember this: No one should expect their wives to provide what you get from the other working ladies. It's not fair to your wife to expect her to provide the level of sexual performance of a escort. I went through a similar thing with my wife. She can do a fair job of getting me off, orally, but I know that she does it mainly for me. Now, I can't expect her to give the enthusiastic, hot eye contact, drooling mouth, deep throating blow job done by a professional. And that's one reason why I go to providers.