Sup folks! I didn't even know there was a board for SB/SD here until recently, so thought I'd say hey and post. I've been reading back a bit, interesting to see other perspectives.
So the meat of this post though, I have a SB that I really enjoy our time together. We typically get together Saturday evening, spend the night together, and just lazy daze it all day Sunday until the evening, with of course multiple bedroom activities throughout. We've talked and hung out a lot at this point, and I frankly consider her a pretty good friend/lover. I regularly give her more than we agreed to because I genuinely care about her as a person. I even cancelled my SA account, as did she, because we are exclusive providing the fantastic benefit of BB everything (never undervalue how great a benefit that is!) My dilemma? I was curious so I started a fake SA account to see what is out there lately, and I'm SUPER intrigued by the options available in my area right now! I mean, there are a LOT of new 18 to 21 yo hotties (my faves). I've been on and off SA for about a year and a half now and it's the most crowded I've ever seen it. And on top of that, as much as I enjoy our arrangement as it is as I do generally prefer to stick with one SB for a while (at least a few months), I am starting to get a little bored with the same partner with no variety for such a long time (for me, we're talking about 5 months now being a long time). And while she is hot/cute, (she is more around 7.5/8 but performance is fantastic), I've had arrangements and see a LOT of options out there in the 8.5 to 10 range. But on the flip side, this is a GREAT situation for me, exactly what I want out of my arrangements, no bullshit "let's go to a fancy theater or expensive game", she is totally down with ordering in food, cuddling and fucking for 24 hours straight. And even with the extra I give her, it's a great deal financially overall as well (the agreed upon was 200 ppm, while those 8.5 to 9.5 could go upwards of 300 to 350 ppm from my experience in my area and likely not near the time commitment my current SB offers, plus having to go through the search, wading through BS, etc is not so appealing). My current is also bi, and I'm still working the angle to get a 3some someday, she just doesn't know anyone that would be interested, nor do I, but it's on the table. I know some of you from reading back in threads are much more about having multiple SBs at a time, but the exclusivity benefit of BB is huge to me, so that's my biggest concern (sexually at least) in moving on. Ever had a situation where you really liked your SB? Did you regret giving up a great arrangement to go look for something new/better? Since we agreed to be exclusive and canceled SA accounts, I'm kinda "stuck". I could go reactivate my account and block her and look for side action, but frankly wouldn't feel good about it, so I think my options are forget it and stop torturing myself looking at all the yummy new options in my area, or just straight end it and start over.really really like my next (ok first) SB. I don't know how long I would last with one if I didn't like her. Sounds like you have a good thing going and want to have your cake and Edith too. In this game, that's possible! I like the option you discounted, new profile, block her (but she deactivated her account so I don't know how that would work) and dip into the candy store once in a while.
We guys love to have great sex on the cheap with someone who is faithful to us, but also want to be able to go out and sample new cuisine every once in a while.
I dubious it will work, but it would seem you can discuss this with your cutie and see how she feels about you spending one weekend a month with another gal, and still keep her on the side. Be prepared to duck.
This 200 ppm - is the British pounds per month, or is that per meeting? If per month, I'd say that is the deal of the century, so think long and hard about upsetting that apple cart. Even if per meet, that's still far and away the lowest number I've heard of outside the third world.
That's what I'm sayin! It's 200 per meet, so not deal of century, but I feel reaaal good about that amount given my previous experiences. Plus we're talking literally 24 hours or funtime every time, so yea, I don't want to upset the apple cart, but my apple cart is full of Gala apples but there's a fiiiine cart over there full of Honey Crisps! lol I do end up giving her 250 or 300 each time though because as I mentioned, really do care about her. She's a totally genuine, good person with little/no baggage.
And speaking as a fellow pig, I completely understand your dilemma. I eventually tire of every woman I have ever been in any kind of relationship with. Or even if I don't tire of her, I start to get bored and want variety after a certain length of time. Sometime after the first date, sometimes it takes months, but it ALWAYS happens to me, unless of course she leaves me first. lol
I have never taken down my account for any SB, so these would be unchartered waters for me. One thing to warn you about if you put up a new/fake profile. How would you feel if your current SB ended up responding to it? You don't really want one of those "I like Pina Colatas" moments, do you? lol
There is an upside to having your SB being more like a GF, but as you are finding out, there are some downsides as well.
I'd like to argue, but you are absolutely right. Thanks for responses, I'm totally leaning now towards just ride this out and enjoy what I have and just make sure to incorporate every kinky crazy idea I can to keep things interesting!
I get BB, both of us deactivated our accounts, still like what we do, lots of time spent on BCD and travel, she's BI too and like you I think I may be missing out.
But I am not thinking about the missing out right now. A few suggestions for ya.
If you want a threesome, get on adult friend finder as a couple and you'll surely get a gal or another couple. It's easy if you are a couple than a single guy.
Reactivating the account is risky. Even if you block her she could come with another ID and find you, if she's doing that.
I'd just sit back and let things be as long as your urge to look out is not too strong. Plus you still have the threesome thing to explore with her, so what's the hurry.
without damaging the great relationship you have now, but they all require a high level of communication and trust with your SB and that seems to be a semi forgotten art, at least I never get much traction here when I mention it. First of all you can talk to your SB and maybe you will find out she feels exactly the same as you; loves what you have but craves some variety. You could also ask her if she would mind if you rejoined SA to look at the other girls. She might be perfectly ok with it. My SBs and I enjoy talking about our other lovers. As for your enjoyment of exclusive BB activity, even that can be dealt with. I'm taking a big breath here, but here goes: My wife and her BF are exclusively "fluid bonded". That is, he and I are the only ones going BB with her, and we have agreed on a solemn promise not to go BB with anyone else. But we can screw others if we please, as long as it's with protection. So if I want to go BB with another female, it has to be with her promise to be exclusively BB with me and only me, and only after we both get tested again and after my wife and her BF give their consent. LOTS of trust and communication involved, but it works for us and some variation could work for you.
Alrighty, folks, thanks for all the replies. I decided I'm going to sit put and just enjoy the ride. And no sooner did I decide that but I got a text from a previous SB that wanted to start seeing me once in a while again. So while I don't get to explore all the yummy new prospects, at least I have option of supplementing with someone different once in a while now!
-- Modified on 6/1/2017 12:24:48 PM