Okay so I'm gonna try to explain my problem in a detailed fashion, while at the same time not babbling on for too long.

I'm in my early twenties and started hobbying about 2 years ago. To this point I've never had a girlfriend or had any kind of feelings for a girl beyond a physical attraction. I always had fun and never had any problems with popping too fast or too slow. About 6 months ago I met this amazing provider and after a couple meetings we really clicked. I told her she was my new favorite and she said I was hers. She gave me discounts and even let me spend the night one time off the clock, but that only happened once a few months ago. Since then we've become good friends. She's told me some pretty personal things about her life and vice versa.

Since I met her I only saw one other provider a couple months ago and everything went fine that time. Than about a month ago I tried to see a different girl  and for the first time in my life, I was not even remotely turned on and I couldn't even stay hard so I just left. I figured it was a bad day and I wasn't really attracted to the girl. Then just this week I decided to try and see another provider, this time one that I had seen twice in the past and had fun with. I was a little turned on, but in the end I lost interest and couldn't finish again.

So basically I'm at the point where I have no desire to be with any other girl other than my ATF. I have to really try to last with her, and any other girl I have the opposite reaction to. I guess I could try to just make myself ridiculously  horny by not masturbating for like 4-5 days and then seeing a really hot provider, but I'm not even sure that would work and I'm getting a little sick of wasting money when I'm not even getting hard.

I'm just really lost and confused right now. My ATF says she likes me but is not interested in dating while she is still working. But whether we try to have a regular relationship or not once she quits, I'm worried in the future I will have trouble getting turned on by any girl if I don't have really strong feelings for them.

So should I try again with another provider, or maybe the money is better spent on some therapy?

Welcome to our board, WorkingOnSomeIssues,

So you too have been afflicted with the ATF curse? Hmmm...I don't think therapy will be necessary, unless there are some other issues affecting your choice of partner.

Now, you state that you "never had a girlfriend or had any kind of feelings for a girl beyond a physical attraction." Well, the law of averages dictated that this was going to be the one. And she happens to be a commercial sex worker. Well, worse things have occurred. She could have been a civilian, stringing you along with good old-fashioned ambivalence...only to finally make her mind up and ditch you in a most passive-aggressive manner. At least your ATF is doing the right thing, which is being honest and explanatory in the most fundamental way.

As to your feelings...how about this: Don't worry...all this will pass. Yes, you may be uninterested in other women for a while, until someone new comes along to tickle your fancy. And she will. The law of averages dicates that too.

I wouldn't wait for your ATF to quit working. That could be five years and five girlfriend cycles down the line. Instead, take your time, quit thinking about girls for a while, focus on sports or whatever non-sexual thing you do for recreation. You're only in your early 20s; I guarantee that your moxie will come back to you.

And by the way: there's nothing WRONG with only getting turned on by girls who engender "strong feelings" within you. That's normal. What isn't normal is getting hot for someone to whom you're not attracted to whatsoever. Hence, your disinterest and flagging pole was totally in line with your disinterest in the other provider.

FYI, I think it's a total myth that endows men with 100% horniness at all times with anyone available. In actuality, men are more discriminating than that. But keeping the myth of the eternal stallion sells product - in addition to giving men anxieties as described in your posting.

As to your ATF - if you're not getting what you want from her, then quit seeing her too. Would you hang around begging from a civvie? Hardly. Then don't do it from a provider either, just because you can have part of her time for a fee.

Here's hoping confusion's over, young man,
the Love Goddess

When You're Hot, You're Hot, and When You're Not, You're Not.

This pretty much sums it up.

Give it some time and enjoy your ATF.