Well, WD-50,

By your query, it surely seems that you are concerned. Unfortunately I don't believe anyone can answer your question with certainty. It is impossible to deduce anything significant from this type of posting. We don't have any insight into your marriage, your characteristics, nothing.

So the best I can say is that you seem as concerned about your own activities as you do about hers. On the other hand, unless your penis was itchy from having had unprotected sex and you subsequently banged your wife, I can't see how she would have got 2 yeast infections from having had sex with you. Yeast infections are overgrowth of candida, a fungus. They are dependent on the Ph-acidic condition of the vagina, on sugar intake, on moist conditions inside the vagina, etc. You don't necessarily get yeast infections from screwing. In fact, putting a bunch of lube in there can further compound the problem - lube and latex aren't exactly natural and can sometimes cause irritation. If anything, she should STOP having sex altogether, get on Diflucan or some other antifungal topical and stop wearing tight jeans and panties. Then again, that's not what this thread is about, so it must be left up to her.

The gardener? Suspicious? Have no idea. Why don't you ask her? From just purely peasant logics though, if she were suspicious of you, don't you think she'd ask what you're up to?

Ask her,
The Love Goddess

WD-50:  Your post has nothing to do with yeast infections and everything to do with that serpent in the garden. You're not going to forget about that gardener, no-matter-what people on this board tell you.  

My brother: that's your home, that's your wife, and you don't share those things with anyone. Double standard? If your wife thought you were banging a housekeeper or babysitter, I guarantee you that girl would be gone.

You may have revealed something important in your 2nd post, when you mentioned your wife wearing 'tight jeans' when the gardener is around.  Does she normally dress like that at home?  Or does she 'dress for him' whenever he comes over?

Get rid of him. Be businesslike and make no accusation.  And if he gets smart & bitchy when you tell him to walk, then you know.  And if your wife gets angry when she finds out you've run him off, then you know.   --z

...all the perspectives.
I am gong to take the don't ask /don't tell route for now.
To protect myself [and her], I will go along with the condoms. I don't really mind them, [and I am used to using condoms anyway- LOL]

BTW, I truly doubt that more than 10% of hobbyests would knowingly suspend the double standard re their SO/wife.

Here are my thoughts, for what they are worth. Fairness isn't everything when different outcomes can be demonstrated.

Men can go out and have sex with (insert super sexy girl's name here) and have no diminishment of affection for their wives whatsoever. And when they do this, the men cannot conceive children that they will then have their wives support. (And getting a provider pregnant is incredibly unlikely). Most men do not see the same provider again and again and again so that a form of sexual bonding takes place. Some may, though most don't; or if they do, don't see her frequently enough.

When the average wife has sex with someone else, it is almost always accompanied by a diminishment of affection for the husband. And when they do this, they can get pregnant and their husband ends up unknowingly raising some other man's kid. In fact, generally accepted statistics are that 10% of babies born to married couples are not the biological offspring of the husband.

The average provider seen by the average man is not about to fall madly in love with the client, and go stalking his wife and try to kill her in order to have the man all to herself. In my limited experience, providers are the absolute soul of discretion and would never do ANYTHING to harm or come in between a man and his wife. (I realize some providers are bad eggs who drug men and stuff, but these are as rare as hen's teeth.)

An affair between a wife and another man, though, has the potential to destroy the marriage from confrontations at the bare minimum along with the standard alienation of affection.

There is a reason why female infidelity is more of a marriage ender than male infidelity.

IMO, a double standard between men and women is indeed valuable AND appropriate based upon the damage and likelihood of outcomes.

There are many double standards in the world regarding men and women that work to women's benefit as well; and I don't hear women complaining about those. It is a more serious crime to hit a woman than to hit a man: double standard. Even though women initiate violence in relationships as often as men (see the Harvard study on this), women are almost never prosecuted. In cases of divorce where child custody is disputed, women win 90% of the time. Women have "rights" while men have "responsibilities." I'm not complaining about this, simply stating that doubles standards that favor women exist as well.

I say: keep your eyes peeled. Generally speaking, though, women cheat with higher status males, not with lower status males; so your suspicions may be unwarranted.

Once you allow this guy to bang your wife enough times under your own roof; your very life will be in jeopardy. So make sure he isn't doing it.

Double standard? Sure. But I've never had a provider stalk me. But I know a lady who was cheating on her husband (I handled her divorce case) where her paramour stalked and attacked the husband!

Double standard aside, I don't think you'll let these suspicions easily pass.  You're an intuitive guy, and this inkling will just keep growing (you did use the word "paranoid").  You may be tempted to dig deeper, but you would be better off with marriage counseling and seeing how you could develop more as a couple.  I know that sounds pretty stupid given the hobby, but I think you love your wife, or at least don't want her to cheat on you.

My $.02.  Peace out!

Dr. Phil (McCraken)

Yes. You are being paranoid. Sex is NOT the only way a woman can get a yeast infection. Wearing polyester panties can cause a woman to catch a yeast infection. Swimming can cause a woman to catch a yeast infection. If she was suspicious of you cheating, you would know it bro. She would  most likely confront you and consistently ask where you have been when not at home. And why do you care if she's having a fling with the gardener? You're paying services, yes? Relax and wear the blasted condom.