Dear captjsparrow,

You answered your own question in your fifth paragraph. And I agree with you: NO, you should NOT engage "for an extended time this weekend." And YES, your "broken heart needs time to heal."

On the other hand, I don't think that you will become "emotionally dependent on her," but your FEAR of doing so will stop you from enjoying yourself 100%.

If you want someone who is qualified to offer some in-depth and highly focused analysis of your life patterns, including the recently ended relationship, then make an appointment with a professional sex/life counselor/therapist. If you want a lovely time with an alluring woman who charges by the hour, with the intent of attracting you both physically and emotionally, see a provider.

No, you're not ready,
The Love Goddess

I recently broke up with my gf of three and a half years and was feeling mighty low. After extensive TER research, I found a beautiful, well reviewed 30 year old upscale provider who, after a number of email exchanges, agreed to see me on an extended 4 hour dinner date. I explained I wasn't ready for sex, but needed some companionship and an enjoyable evening out. The donation was to be $1,200, with a "bonus" if we wound up in bed.

I met her for a cocktail and she was more than I expected in every way. Once we both felt comfortable, we dined at an upscale restaurant and then took a walk on a beautiful spring night. Sitting on a bench watching the world go by, I completed my sad story. She listened carefully, offered some advice and we parted after she gave me a kiss on the cheek and a hug. She got into a cab and off she went, leaving me wistful, but happy in a muted sort of a way.

Next date was similar, same price, etceteras, but it consisted of a pre-theater dinner and a play, which we both enjoyed immensely. As we left in a cab, she took my hand, kissed me and slid my hand up her skirt. She was not, as it turns out, wearing any panties. She whispered in my ear that I needed to move on with my life and she was available to assist me in doing just that. That's as far as the evening went.

Now I'm $2,400 into this fantasy (plus dinners, show tickets, etceteras) and have booked her for a 24 date this coming Saturday, having reserved a room at a luxury hotel for the event. Quite frankly, my concern is that I may not be able to perform due to the recency of my breakup and the fondness I've developed for this provider.

Am I making a mistake in seeing her again for an extended time this weekend? Should I keep it platonic, or perhaps move on? I know she is an emotional crutch at this stage of my life, but I also know that I'm nowhere near ready for another "civvy" relationship yet. My broken heart needs time to heal before I can think of another relationship. I'm not going to "fall in love" with this provider, but I fear becoming emotionally dependent on her as she is fulfilling a need for companionship that I'm not ready to seek in a more conventional context.

Should i go through with the planned 24 hour "date"? Anyone else ever have a similar situation?

Comments, please. provider comments welcome as well. Thanks in advance for your thoughts.

And it would be unrealistic to expect that she would.  

You know that you are very vulnerable until you have had a chance to do the necessary emotional processing that comes after a "broken heart" type of breakup.  

One-night sexual stands are fine if you want a sexual outlet, but developing "fondness" for a provider is a very bad idea in your situation.

I know nothing of your financial status but it seems like you are spending an awful lot of money simply to "create" a relationship.  Paying for sex is one thing, paying by the hour to have a woman simply spend time with you is, in my opinion, a serious waste of money and a stall tactic.

Clearly this woman will take as much of your money as you are willing to give her. That is, after all, her job.  Is it a good idea? Honestly I don't think so.  Be honest with yourself. Are you trying to make something happen with this particular lady?  Do you have feelings for her or are you really just looking for company?  For a number of reasons, including the concern about performance anxiety that you expressed, I think this is a bad idea.

It would be more helpful to reclaim what you lost of yourself, when you invested it in your ex., by working with a mental health professional. Such an investment is an investment in yourself, and should fill that void.

I quicky is NOT going to make your feeling go away.  It might feel good at the moment, however, it's going to be a long drive home for you.  I would take sometime and heal before you see any other providers.  WHen you are ready you will know....Time heals ALL and everything.  Once the time has pasted you can call your favorite provider and fuck and suck her all night long  :    and it will feel good at the moment and when you drive home and evern when you jerk off in the morning.

---->

On yourself! In this case and in this manner you have chosen to deal with the prevailing emotional pain, investing on yourself is not an investment at all as it is merely some form of "retail therapy" You are just numb and do not feel the kind of sticker shock figures which you are throwing around. Once when you come back to your senses, you will hate both yourself and this girl (the escort) who is just a business person taking care of her bills and also your Bills

One last thing is this which you wrote in the end: "...I'm not going to fall in love with this provider, but I fear becoming emotionally dependent on her..." The mere thought of this sentence alone, should compel you to revisit and repeat the FOUR F's of hobbying:

1- Find them

2- Feel them

3- F*ck them

4- Forget them

Insensitive and indelicate by all means, but very sound advice for someone in the place where you are at.

Good luck, CS~

Serial meetings with a single provider is frought with risk...  the sex hormones kick in...   next we are reading about a guy who fell for his Favorite Provider & can't get up.  I know.  I've done it.  I'm not the first or the last.  You are at your most vulnerable right now.  This is very unwise!

I would suggest that you spread your economic stimulous around among several lovely ladies...  a couple of hours at a time...   You may devolupe Favorites...  I like to rotate among 3-4 Favs, with occasional tryouts for potential new friends.  

In all honesty...  providers can provide the sexual outlet so you are not horny out of your mind & can interact with females without doing dumb things just to get some action.   You need female social interaction...  you may not be ready for it yet...  but at some point, just being around females can help you tune your social skills.  I have a favorite eattery where I stop by often & the waiteresses are fun.  Nothing is happening, just a relaxed conversation.  

I think it is too early...  

If you decide to go through with this overnight...  (and it's not the end of the world if you do) what then?   You will still need to break out on your own & start seeing others...  or be sucked into the  whirlpool of your own making!  (And you'll be a bunch poorer)

You are smart enough to have made these observations...    a lot of guys get into the hobby with a binge.   Then they find they need to moderate it & make some common sence decisions.
Best Wishes!

That was the only solution u could come up with for your problem? ( your break-up )
Spend a ton of money on a provider and not even get laid???
I feel for you, break-ups hurt, but you sound like an intelligent man!
Find a better and less costly solution!
just my .02 cents worth.

If you are not ready yet for serious relationship - there a plenty dating sites, where people searching for friends, sex partners, SO ect... you will not have to pay 1200 $ just for date and the girl will be happy with your company....