Here's a psychology question for the married guys who normally wear a wedding band:

When you see a provider do you remove your ring beforehand?  Why or why not?

Me, I always intend to take it off, but then I forget until I'm in the room, and then it seems too late.  I don't suppose the providers give a shit, but there's something weird about brazenly cheating on your wife while you're wearing the ring.

IMHO, brazenly cheating on my wife is no different if the ring is on my finger, in my nose or wedged up my sphincter.  If it's significant to the wearer, I guess it should be removed, but nobody else is gonna care much.

for years, I took it off, realizing that it was really for my benefit, not hers.  

I leave it on now.  After all, there are no secrets in this business, are there?

Is that what THAT was I felt up THERE ?

xo lisa

Brazenly cheating on your wife is half the fun.  Wear it as a cockring, and come to think of it, that graphic image would make a nice logo for the hobby.

Please leave your ring on.  I have accumulated seven.  Their owners decided they did not want to wear them, when they were around me.  Can you imagine the outcome at home?

Can't you mail the rings back or something ?

I find it unsettling that you have in your possession something that was 1/2 of the exchange of a marriage vow.

You might be saying well" lisa the vows were broken " but regardless I don't think you should have something so sacred of someone elses in your possesion.

I am completely aware that aspects of my post are highly hypocritical but I have/will never claim to be a saint.

xo Lisa


-- Modified on 2/8/2007 1:37:24 PM

no one see but me.... me take... revenge... good.... ring remind bizzaro... what bad marraige can be like... so when bizzaro fall in love with provider, bizzaro look at ring.... remind bizzaro - you not know much about this lady you with... before you say something stupid like "i wuv you, will you marry me?" maybe you should think about it....   cause me get stooopid when around bootiful ladies.

They were notified that they left the rings & they never returned.  It's actually a pretty low amount, after seven years.  I guess it truly speaks to their thoughts on their marriages; going to visit a provider then intentionally not returning to get the rings they left behind.

who wanted it to work, never cheated and discovered that the ex did.  and while I never cheated, I cannot say that I was an exemplary hubby....   ring.... a reminder.  and some wish to forget...

If you keep following me, I'm gonna have to report you...oh sorry, I meant review you.

Personally I take it off, for my benefit only....before arrival so as not to be one of those idiots who leaves it behind.

I don't have to worry about it because mine fell off while snorkeling in Hanauma Bay, Oahu 20 years ago and I've never replaced it.

If I had one, I'd wear it. I don't think providers care if you're married or not. If one tells me it bothers her, I won't see her, simple as that.

When my SO kicks in the door of the seedy hotel and finds me with my lil' woody in the mouth of one provider while the other diddles her with a strap-on, I don't think she's going to say "How could you do this with your RING on?!"

I wear my ring.

I keep it on because it is meaningful to me.  I do not see the sense in trying to hide from myself and my own feelings.

That probably seems hypocritical, but my feeling is if I look at my ring and feel too guilty to continue, then this is probably not something I should be doing.  If I look at my ring and feel nothing at all, then I know that my marriage has failed completely, and then why do I wear it at all, regardless of whether or not I am with a provider?  The reality is that I am somewhere in the minefield in the middle, and so my ring is a reminder to me that I am making a choice, with all of the consequences that choice entails.

I will admit that part of me wants the person I am with to know it as well, since it may matter to them.

Then, Im afraid I will NOT be happy to see you whip that thing out. I'll be very sad. Unless you make me laugh.

Ava
Aka The cock snob

You say "...brazenly cheating on your wife...", maybe you should consider redefining your definition of cheating. I'm not suggesting you completely rationalize your actions, but maybe try to see things from a different perspective. So here's a thought or two for you,.... If the encounter is financially based, is it cheating???? Is seeing a provider for a random sexual encounter the same as having an ongoing relationship with a women where the connection is more than just physical??? Are you 'making love' or just having sex??? It's a question of emotional fidelity vs physical fidelity.  A conflict between what our society has deemed acceptable and our basic animal instincts. Males are evolutionarily programed to have multiple sexual partners, to spread their seed and insure survival of their genetic information whereas the female drive is to nest. I realize it seems like an over simplification, but generally speaking monogamy is unnatural for men. Even with that being said you can still offer your mate emotionally monogamy which is really what it's all about. Because when all is said and done no roll in the hay or quick 'O' can compete with the fact that this is the person you have chosen to spend your life with.
Taking your ring off is an attempt to admonish feelings of guilt. But maybe you don't really have that much to be guilty for. After all it makes you no less of a good father and a loving, and yes, loyal husband. So wear your ring and be thankful for what you have while getting what you need.....

This would be a great conversation to have with a wife.

Of course it's cheating.  Anytime a man puts his wee-wee into a chicks orifice, without the chick giving permission, it's cheating.

Merely suggesting that their are shades of gray.... And yes, a conversation with the average woman on the subject would be far from fun. But that's because their reaction is emotional rather than rational. If a wife finds out that her spouse has been "putting his wee-wee into another chicks orifice" as you so eloquently put it, her reaction will typically be one of self doubt.... Why did you do this to me?? Was I not enough for you??? Do you love her??? Is she prettier than me??? Younger than me??? Better than me??? What did she do for you that I couldn't??? I thought you loved me??? Most women have a very difficult time separating 'love' from 'sex' whereas men do not.  A women will take infidelity very personally, when in most cases it has very little to do with them at all, but more to do with the males natural sex drive.

Always leave it on so you will never forget it and have wife kill you.

Providers know your married, they are seeing you and providing a service to YOU so why remove it.

This question has been asked so many times over the years it gets boring.  

Do a search for anything before you post another question please.

I dont remove my ring, its not on my finger though. Thought thats what this tread was about.

I leave it behind for the reason that MagicalLizzy suggests: I may forget it and then I'd really have some explaining to do (and no, mailing it back to me would make matters much much worse).

The only other interesting thing to add is that a provider asked and I said I was married. She then said that many men lie and deny they're married. That seems odd to me if it's true. Do married guys feel the need to lie to the provider about this, and if so, why?

Lost the diamond in mine years ago, never replaced it and never will - I could care less about appearances - men were born to cheat, as were women.

For me, it’s psychological. I always take the ring off before seeing a provider. Cheating is cheating whether it’s on my finger or not, but I just feel better not visually seeing it while I'm with the lady.

Great summary of the differences, Amanda.  Neither view is "right" or "wrong," that's just the way (generally) we are built.  Exceptions abound, of course, but more often than not I find the two camps line up essentially as you have described.