I had an annoying experience today.  Let me begin by telling you the moral to this story.  My sexual boundaries are mine and you cannot pay me enough money to do certain things that my body does not do,  nor can you pay me enough money to do things that I do not feel comfortable doing.  It is quite simple.  My motto is,  "I never do anything that I don't want to do."  And I stick to it.  On occasion you might suggest something I have never done and if I feel like it, I may do that thing,  but unless I like it I will never do it again.

I am not in this to be practically raped by being forced to do things I don't want to do.  I say no,  you must listen.  My boundaries are very generous and my demeanor is very polite.  It takes a lot to make me walk out,  but today I did.


I had a fellow call me who I had seen three times before.  He said it was his birthday and he wanted me to be his birthday present to himself.  He asked if I would go out for a drink and/or dinner afterwards to celebrate.  I agreed to go along.

Shortly after I arrived he asked if I was going to do anything special to him for his birthday (he meant do things to him that I told him I don't do).  I smiled politely and said,  "no."  As far as I was concerned I was being overly generous to go out for a drink with him because I am not a drinker at all, except on rare occassions.

Anyway, we are busy.  I am recieving and he is begging me for something I don't enter EVER.  I said no.  He said, "he would show me a movie where girls like it,  would that convince me?"  I said no.  He said "Do you let other clients do it?"  I said,  "NO!  I have never done it!  I tried. I never liked it. I have never even been able to do it! There is no way on earth I will even let you try that to me,  EVER!!"

I can't recall how many times he asked, but by the time he was done I was emotionally exhausted from saying no and I was not turned on at ALL!

Then it was time to move on.  He walks in from a break and I am holding a flavored raincoat.  He says,  no raincoat.  I said of course you will wear one.  He said no,  because I did it bare before.  

I thought about it and I remembered touching it for one second with my tongue.  I at no time put my mouth on it.  I told him I had barely done it and he pretended I had totally done it.  He was trying to act like I would not remember.  

I got up to get a towel, while I explained that it would never happen his way.  When I returned I laid back down and he stuck this huge smelly thing in my face and he said,  "NO RAINCOAT!"  So I just got up, grabbed my stuff, and left without payment.

I hated him so much I would rather not get paid anything than to deal with him one mintue more!  

The deal is you can ask a few times,  but not just one second after I just said NO!  AND PLEASE don't beg for stuff you KNOW I don't do.  

Please remember we are human beings,  not plastic toys.  We have boundaries and you must respect them.  You can ask all you want.  If the answer is no and you keep asking,  you will piss someone off.  

I don't care if it is your birthday, Christmas, or your Barmizvah (spelling?)  The answer is NO!  I don't do that!  Read my profile.  Someone else went through the trouble of finding out that I don't do THAT!  Or THAT!  I bet your wife doesn't do THAT either!  Go find someone who does THAT and leave me the F*&&K alone!

I wanted to add, that I am 60% sure that he was not into force as a form of excitement.  I have seen him before and we had a blast.  He asked the same things but he was polite and not persistent.  Our coversation was all about NO! this time.  I think he really did not know how rude and annoying he was.  Or maybe he waited until I knew him better before turning up the volume on his force issues.  Either way it was bad.  It was bad.

Really?

Continual pathetic begging doesn't work with women?
I have seen it work for 4 year olds in grocery stores...

You would say yes if he agreed to stick some left over fireworks up his ass and let you light it.  Maybe you wouldn't intend to go through with it but there'll be some good squealing sound effects, though.  

Personally, I think dinner to go with some sensual play with a great woman would always be a wonderful present, and you were kind enough to do so.  To lose a friendship/working relationship over intercourse is kind of stupid.  

Pushy people never do see boundaries, only an end.  

Respect is everything.

My biggest issue of late has been teeth.  I don't know if it's nerves or the urge to be aggressive but what really turns me on is when a guy can be a bit gentle yet passionate. I like it with tongue and light pecks or deep but not so much saliva and NO TEETH...if you need a dental suction devise every 5 minutes or feel the need to chow, go out for dinner or see Dr. Bill.

NO BITING!!!!!!
STOP DROOLING ON MY SOFA!!!

LUV
HB

But seriously, ok to state rules with friends early on. They push, ask them to leave. It's that simple.

Oh the stupidity of others. What part of no did he not understand? Was it the N or O?
I had a recent conversation with a provider and we discussed this very issue. What ever happened to good manners and respect for others? Did this guy think that it was a special day for him that all rules were off?
This kind of crapola just burns my gord. It makes me wonder what this man's mother would think? did she raise him this way? was he one of those kids who nagged his mom or threatened to hold his breath until he turned blue to get his way?
NO without a doubt means no. NO if's, NO and's and NO buts.

Hon,  

I run into these creeps everywhere.
Fortunately rarely as clients....but they are everywhere...grocery store, the gym, (I stay out of bars except dammit, where I go to dance salsa...they infiltrate.)

I  have actually read in men's mags where guys are INSTRUCTED to play dumb, in order to score!  GAG!  Maybe he had recently read an article and used you to try it out on,


I am sorry you went thru this..you knew him so you couldnt see it cumming, sadly. I am glad you wrote about it...very promoting to healing...also, please post on the badclientlist.com as i did ... it's part of healing so you shant have suffered this life draining force in vain..  

It's a pathetic thing to think that there are many running around (in both sexes) who aren't even human; just users.

Do  give yourself a lot of love right now and spoil yourself, and stay around your support system , important to feed yourself life enhancing energies!  

If you want, email me ~ there are some great ladies on this board (and great men, too) I  know, I've vented to them! No need to feel alone!  And remember what one man on this board said when I wrote about a bad client, "for every bad one, there are 5 good ones!"  

take care ..

xoxo

ff

Reshaking my head in utter disbelief)

Absolutely!!! hey we were posting at the same time...that was just yesterday we spoke of such things...

NW,  I am ready to don my Klingon costume...

xoxo

ff

Do these guys actually think that badgering an escort, girlfriend or any other woman is going to make for better sex?  Shameful behavior, and so self-defeating too.  You were more than generous.  I would have required he pay the fee for wasting my time and ruining the session in the process.

Four year olds are a lot cuter!

Reshaking my head in utter disbelief)

Me Too!!!but yet I've encountered similiar situations where I felt so battered emotionally from saying no I can relate.  Provider is right on and sorry she had the experience but I'm sure this has happened to all of us at least once.  I'm with her...find some one who delivers what you enjoy.   Beware though not all reviews posted tell the whole story---this is fiction you know----guys don't post a negative review if something that was originally posted---doesn't happen and the provider lets you know she never has done that....A friend of mine had that happen---we have no control over what is written--if someone wants to say something happened when it didn't there is very little we can do.   I believe when guys embellish the session especially with a provider that has a following it is to make the rest think he got something no one else did.  Also if a provider does at some point give you something she never has before don't post it all over the place.  Most likely you'll never get it again as you never got how special it was that she went there with you.  I'm sure she didn't expect to see it in a review.

Shake this guys energy off!-post him on the bad client list ! Big warm hug to you...xoxo Lisa Storm

I am just so outraged that you didn't get paid at all.  Next time for any sessions, make sure the donation is on the desk or something so even if you walk out, you could just grab it and leave.  No freebies for these jerks!!  

daer Partxlvr,,,

not always so simple.  in our shoes.  i wont say much, as there are lurkers and vultures, gleaning info for stalking...no i am not paranoid.  The nicest hig these losers can do is write a bsd review...

some of you guys need to understand that it is the woman who has been blessed/cursed to take the war out of man.  calm the testosterone when he decides he has had enough cold showers/hard basketball/champion track or swimming training sessions....  

unfortunately with some men the testosterone will not be calmed until he rapes...who would know the ways of the sociopath, the unrelenting pain of the man who, at the age of 5, bought into the belief, enforced by  mom and dad that he was a loser and no woman would ever find him loveable???

I am a scifi nut...but not paranoid...just a realist..just grabbing the dinero has its consequences.  This smart lady already knew.


xoxo

ff

Sounds like you have a whole lot more patience with idiocy, and were willing to grant this loser quite a few more chances to decide to behave decently than many women (including myself) would have given him! Sometimes I think that, with certain insecure jerks--familiarity brings out a certain aggressive presumptuousness.   Although they can be on their best behavior at first, once they reach a certain comfort-level--they seem to take your friendliness as meaning you’ll yield  to their demands when pressured.

Even though you said you thought him to probably not be “into force for excitement,” it seems a bit too reminiscent of classic controlling behavior patterns that can begin with mild (but annoying) intimidation tactics--but may escalate into more violent episodes. I’m sure you already thought of that possibility--and I don’t mean to preach about something in which I had no personal role. But, just in case this episode was indicative of a potential for more serious aggressions (and not just an expression of insolence and severely bad judgment on his part) --I hope you won’t consider seeing him again, no matter how profuse his apologies, or generous his offers...

(He’s lucky that you didn’t take his bullying as a threat to your safety--someone else might have whacked him upside the head, and run out that door!)

I have a freind who is a dancer and she says the thing that really will absolutely freak her out is the flipping of dentures.
Personally, you should warn him and then kick him to the curve of he continues.