🤔 How many members can truly say they are proud to be here?  

I really mean that. It has been so good to me and I have tried to be good back to it but have failed at times. This community has lifted me up on so many occasions and I have made so many friends here over the years.  
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Where would I be without amazing women who have shared so much with me to create fantasties and provide me with that human interaction I so need? Speaking for myself, I would not be in a good spot without the amazing care of providers.
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So yes, I am proud to be here. And happy Pride Month to you and all our LGBTQIA+ peeps celebrating this month as we celebrate with you!

I'll admit to some mixed feelings.  I hate having this part of my life that I can't really tell anyone IRL about. I wish my friends and co-workers were open-minded about this sort of thing, but wishing won't make it so

Same. I certainly am not proud enough to tell people in my  life about it.  At the same time,  I am proud that I can say I’ve fucked some of the hottest women around via this hobby.  How many normal guys can say they’ve fucked a pornstar or a playboy model (or someone who looks like one)?   I guess that’s the beauty of this website- likely the only place we can discuss, review and boast about our exploits.  

This is not something I am proud of. Having to pay for fabricated relationships, which really is 1 hour romps about once a month, is not classified as one of my better ideas. This doesn’t take away from the fact that I have enjoyed many of these romps. This is something I would never have done when I was younger because I didn’t need to pay for it. As I have gotten older, I have not maintained my fitness well and just don’t feel as motivated to put in the work.

For the last 17 years.

I am curious. If you dont think p4p is one of your "better ideas", why not leave the lifestyle? For me, escorting is one of my best things I decided to do as it is so exciting and at the same time, helps with loneliness. And what better way to do that than to see cool, young women you are super attracted to and have sex with them and converse with them? Thanks for your response, if you feel comfortable doing so.

I use TER as the information site that it is. Nothing more, it's not some lonely hearts club for me.
I'll help when ask and share any experiences that might benefit others. Just don't be an ASS.

Because when I jointed TER back more than ten years ago it was the Golden Age. I was able to meet -- at first on line and then in person -- a great group of like-minded mongers and mega-sluts who shared info, ran some epic M&Gs and had great times together. One of them introduced me to the joys of Costa Rica, which opened a whole other chapter in my mongering life.  That era ended but several of them are still in my life, which has been richer for it. Very few guys got to do what we did and my non-mongering friends were jealous when I shared my adventures with them. Once I even took a buddy and his very open-minded wife to dinner at the infamous Cocal in Jaco, CR, surrounded by putas. I am proud and shameless and unrepentant and have loved this life.

I think maintaining your health is key to enjoying life--both here and IRL.  If I don't feel good about myself, it's almost impossible to enjoy companionship, paid or otherwise.  Which I think is why I'm so often horny after a good workout--that feeling of physical engagement and energy makes me feel powerful. I had a particularly vigorous workout last Saturday and all I could think about at the end of it was how much I wanted to plunge my face into the lap of a hot woman.

Did you miss the part about me enjoying the romps? If I leave it, I will not get laid by hot young women. I’m just past that point in my life. But one can both enjoy something and not be proud of it. Remember, to each their own. You have your perspective and I have mine.

My point had nothing about you being proud or not. I was asking why you were saying it wasnt one of your better ideas. That just seems in contrast to you saying you enjoyed it. I am not being argumentative with you, just trying to see your point. Anything in my life that I think wasn't one of my better ideas, means I wouldn't do it again if I had the chance. See my point now? Sorry for the confusion.

I think it is a matter of cost and benefit. The upside is obvious, you get to hook up with hotties fairly easily. I've had a lot of fun spending time with women who wouldn't otherwise be available to me.

I wonder if Zeel will agree with most/all of your points and my suspicion is he most likely will. It is interesting to read your thoughts on this. It sounds like what you are saying is that when Zeel, and maybe even many men, think back on their choice to enter this realm, that they may come to the conclusion that the net/net affect of seeing providers is a negative one, but one that have grown used to or maybe even addicted to. IOW, they dont know any other way now.
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I am not saying everything is always peachy keen for me. Last year, and 2020, for obvious reasons, were disasters for me. It had nothing to do with the downsides of seeing providers but more my inability to see them i.e. due to Covid in 2020 and personal, health reasons for me last year.
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I am curious how many guys, if they could, would go back in time and decide to never see providers moving forward. Personally, I would get back in that DeLorean and crank it up to 88 miles per hour, not avoid escorts in the future, but to go back in the past and correct the mistakes I have made as I know from talking to enough men, and women, we have all made a few. We are all human.  
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Thanks for your great post and the time in crafting it.

All very excellent points. I think I would also add to that I think there is shame surrounding the profession that continues for no good reason. Well, except for that stupid illegal part, but I digress.  We are still shunned by mainstream society, so it is not like most providers or clients are shouting from the rooftops that we are partake in this lifestyle. Well, I do, but that is a different story. lol
 Everyone needs physical and emotional connections with another human, even if that only ends up being for an hour.  
Everyone that follows me on twitter or has seen my posts here knows that I am a very strong advocate for the decriminalization of sex work, but I also work to destigmatize as well, for providers and clients.  
Seeing a provider should not a replacement for getting mental health care (everyone should, serious. We all have coconut issues as one time or another in our lives!!) nor should it replace living a healthy lifestyle. But it can be an excellent way to enhance your life if you enter into seeing providers in a realistic way.

Thank you! Seeing providers and escorts has been a net positive for me. I've been given the opportunity to explore my sexuality in a safe environment with some incredibly beautiful and sexy women. In addition to scratching an itch, it provided me with a sexual confidence I would never have gotten without providers and escorts.

I 100% agree with 420’s points. I’m not too proud to admit I have regrets. I’m also not hanging my head on them. It’s not like it’s made me depressed either. It’s more reflecting and admitting where I may have made better choices.  

I appreciate you jumping back in. I guess I am just very lucky as I view p4p as such a joy, but I have been hurt on several occasions and messed up a few as well. Those situations are hard to deal with as I tend to want to be a fixer in those cases and not everyone wants fixes. Some just want to move on, like a surgeon after an operation that goes badly. Those are very few and far between, so you expressing your regrets about anything lifestyle related is appreciated as many others feel like you do; dare I say almost everyone?
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Your last point is so spot on. I wish I could tell family and friends of my exploits here but that cant happen. Leading a secret life is so hard on so many providers, and clients, as most of us have so much to lose. Fortunately I have built up relationships over many years, with both providers and gents in this realm so I get to share in my highest joys and commiserate in some pretty bad lows too. It helps to have like minded people to vent to, and listen to them venting, as no one outside the lifestyle would ever truly understand.
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Thanks for opening up Zeel. It feels like we all went to therapy together.

And not in a good way. If things were different, they'd be different.  

I def remember, especially the first few years, of having the "loser" feeling about paying. I guess, over time, I just got comfortable with that notion as I was attracted to much younger women and I know it would be impossible to get the age and beauty of girls I would want to bed without the money. I now feel lucky I have the money to see the women that attract me.  
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I couldn't agree more that the business can be lonely for many providers. And as you say, so many have to make a major sacrifice with the lack of time spent with friends/family due to the inability to pass up dates in this realm, although that certainly doesn't define every or even most providers.  
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But of the ones that do, it is an extra added burden to the "living a lie" concept and the fact it is so incredibly difficult to date in the RW while being a sex worker. Every girl that has talked to me about this tells me they never know if they should tell the BF, or when, so many make a pact with themselves to not date in their civie life while providing, which is sad certainly.

I'm a bit of an outlier in that I've lived a fairly compartmentalized life, friends and associates based around specific activites and those spheres pretty much never overlapped,  so the problem of secrecy doesn't seem to impact me that much. But I do agree with the general point as I cannot say I am fully immune to isolation.

Hello Miss Queen bia, I am relatively new here but I catch on fast.   I have been out of the whole pay-4play / "hobbyist
 lifestyle & scene" since 2006,  but I am rapidly merging into it and accelerating to become a full fledged member of the TER community.

I don’t agree that relationships are all financial in some way. I agree those exist so not disputing that it happens. But there are plenty of relationships that are not financially motivated. I’m very much a relationship type of person. I had a relationship where we both split costs of everything from day one until the end. And this was not my idea. It was hers specifically because she wanted to remove the financial element. It was one of the best relationships I ever had too. It always felt like it was about us, not our money.

I didn't say all were financial, I said '"paid" for' and then noted that even if one limits the focus to pecuniary (in other words, financial/monetary) many were driven by that.

I wouldn't be here if I wasn't proud of being here

So is lust, Mr. Prairie. Not sure if a fuck board is where you want to be slinging shit about religious ideals.

I interpreted paying as financial. But it seems you are using that term differently. Well sure, relationships are all about being willing to compromise and give things up. I see what you’re saying, but don’t feel financially paying and compromising for a relationship are exactly the same either.

I am proud of this community because, it's important to be able to express yourself without judgement, I find pleasure in helping others let go of their inhibitions and have fun freely. It's a wonderful feeling.

"I don't pay them for sex. I pay them to go away."

Personally I wouldn't take advice from such a source on pretty much anything but simply doesn't apply (no was it it at all what the thread was about). I go to incalls so have no interest in "paying them to go away". Much better that they stay.

LOL

about being over 50 and "fully functional, . . . more or less."  Most of us without your other issues deal with this from time to time.  However, I got onto TRT in my mid-50's and it seemed to solve the occasional problems. You might want to check it out.  

I enjoy sex. I also enjoy eating chocolate ice cream. I can't imagine enjoying ice cream to be a matter of pride.

Since I have him on ignore I can only imagine the stupid shit LP said this time.  I prefer the religion of P4P myself.  

Quit equivocating. It's clear that the OP was using proud in a completely difference sense of the word from that of "pride" in the passage you reference. Typical troll behavior.

I had to give this a good deal of thought.  IRL I attribute "pride" with an event or act, the details of which, I would enthusiastically share with my friends and family.  This hobby is not on that list of activities that I can share.  But, after giving it more thought, I decided that I am indeed proud.

I can honestly say that i'm proud to be an Escort.  

Define it then.

words can have multiple meanings. With pride, it could mean a reasonable sense of self esteem or satisfaction with oneself/identity. There is pride in the psychological sense. There is a sense of pride, which describes an emotional state that is the opposite of shame or humility. There is excessive pride, or hubris. Its like a spectrum my man.