Well of course it is difficult. No one is saying it is easy. I have been in the same position. I have both walked out and stuck it through. Why? Because I agree it is difficult. That said, it’s still what you should do and justified. Like many things, we are not always able to make the hard decision.
Fast forward, the second part is twofold and IMO also still true. One is that if you don’t walk out, it is you that owns that decision. I don’t care how hard the decision is, it is still yours to make. Suggesting it’s difficulty as an excuse IMO is a cop out. It’s on us to make those hard decisions or live with the consequences.
The second is the review part. I get not everyone finds this easy either. This one I have been fairly good at. As a member of this community, I feel it is my responsibility to warn others. If you stick around, at least warn others. If you can’t even do this, it’s hard to justify when reviews mislead you, because you are part of the problem.
So my first date took place Friday evening at a very upscale hotel that I booked in my favorite city and location, where I had some of the best years of my life. I chose a provider listed on several different pages, who fit my preferences of Mature, Intelligent and accepting of my disability. Her pictures looked very nice for a woman of her listed age. I did do my introductory LETTER, which she said she greatly appreciated and she readily accepted my offer of a date. I chose 4 hour dinner date at 2000 (and I added a decent tip/gift of 300)
The provider showed up basically on time but SIGNIFICANTLY different than her photos...immediately and noticeable different while still fully clothed. I am NOT a harsh or mean-spirited, judgmental person when it comes to physical appearance (that would be the ultimate Hypocrisy), but this provider had changed a lot from her listed pictures. She also turned out to be wayyyy more mature than her listed age, well beyond the accepted "5 year margin of error". In fact she turned out to be well older than ME (I'm 56). Still I made the absolute best of the situation, went the full 4, gave my best DATY and she was at least happy. But deep inside, I'm thinking....."This is just absurd...it's not (just) the money, I thought of the time and effort I put into this..."
I saw her off with a smile...then sank into confusion. I cannot bring myself to blame her or be angry....in our talks, she seemed like a person somewhat hurting, and in pain about something....I cannot share more details without hurting her dignity lest she ever read this. Point of fact, as a person I care about her, but as a "provider" in the context of THIS whole scene.....*shrugs*
(I'll post part 2 in a second reply to avoid the EXCESSIVELY LONG posts that many cannot abide.....
Whenever a client accepts a deception or a misrepresentation, it enforces its continuation and penalizes new client(s). There are older providers who don't misrepresent themselves and do fine with clients who prefer more mature ladies.
i understand edinathens your points, i wasnt quite thinking of it like that...a nd thats why im pretty sure this lifestyle (as practiced on TER) isnt for me. I dont like hurting people, even when they hurt me first or even in self defense)....i have been hurt too often and endured too much pain to inflict it, even to people who seem to deserve it. Call me a total sap, pussy, idiot....I can endure that, but this woman obviously is desperate to take advantage of someone like me, an easy target, which is also why i shouldnt be doing this except with 100% non shady women of integrity, easier said than done.
This provider had excellent reviews albeit at least 2 years old....she was listed on several "pages" trystlink, here on TER and 411. We communicated, i did her screening and of course i mentioned my disability. She knows my name and where I live, and Im not sure how exactly someone like me "walks" away when itz my room in a upscale hotel in a community where i stilk have some standing. She could physically overpower me (anyone can actually), so the confrontation route isnt going to work for me.....now perhaps some of you start to understand why I have been out of thiz for so long....
I received verification from another legit and trusted provider, that this near-60 year old provider who saw me claiming to be 45 has definitely "been around" aand had a "hard life." She may have been exhorted by a significant other who might have spotted an easy mark in myself, given the whole scenario. Ah, i am so sorry to be bringing the spirit of the board down with this idiotic experience.
your advice (all) about scheduling shorter visits initially is duly noted.
I tried to post "part 2 of my disasterous weekend, about provider #2 totally wigging out on me over the phone because i wasnt sitting in my hotel room waiting for her to call 6 (six) hours prior to scheduled visit!! I'll see what is up with that thread.
2) Having failed to do that you should at least write an honest review so others can be warned.
That's what this site is for.
noted sir, i understand why you would post this. I couldnt "walk" in the sense you mean...it was my room, and I cant run or walk as I'm in a wheel chair....thats the rub, my physical vulnerability....any tense confrontation, I need to resolve or prevent if possible.
here's the thing....if she HAD just said up front, "hey you know what, Im almost 60, not 45"....and if she at least had said "my pics are 15 years old"....I probably would have been ok wih the whole deal. As it was, she was still beautiful and attractive ENOUGH in my eyes that I gave her well over 1 hours worth combined DATY (it allowed me to focus on somethung besides the glaring discrepancy elsewhere, and it was good practice.
-- Modified on 6/30/2024 12:13:13 PM
This and only this.
Gus sounds like a gentleman. It is VERY difficult for a gentleman to walk out on his date. Deception or no deception, that is just very hard to do to a woman. I am not for one second saying what she did was right. If indeed she misrepresented herself as the OP stated, and I have no reason to doubt him, it is still a big ask for many men to walk out, embarrass the woman and stiff the girl.
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Even if he offers her up something less than the pre-date agreed amount, that can cause him consternation and hardship. The woman can retaliate by black listing him, or worse, doxxing him.
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I want to be clear. I am NOT saying he shouldn't write the review. But I believe he is a newbie (someone please correct me if I am wrong) and he may not know all the ramifications of writing that review. He needs to make a fully informed choice before he takes that action, is all I am saying.
thank you Robert for that reasonable defense of my chosen course of action.... You hit the nail squarely as to understanding how and why I act like I do. And I completely understand the calls for me to write the review....I really do....
Im trying to think of how I can word the review to convey the situation while allowing everyone to save face and minimize any hurt feelings. *Note* Did everyone catch the fact I had a independent provider who knows of the Provider I saw, and confirms the fact that she is using vastly outdated pics and information....and that her personal life has been a chaotic mess for a while.
I couldnt "walk" for many reasons, the most obvious being it was My hotel room...when she showed up and entered my room, picture the scene: I barely recognized her, Im expecting the attractive woman I saw online, and instead I see a much older, stressed looking woman....the advertisement online indicated a fit, tight, yoga physique....instead I had something "bigger and more loose fitting.....which normally Im totally fine with when proudly displayed (not hidden) by the owner. It was easier in THAT moment to do what I did, which was suck it up, smile and make her happy. I have been in or on the other side of such situations....I have been set up on blind dates in my younger days by well meaning friends, and then the date shows up and (even when expecting to see a wheelchair) cant hide the awkwardness or anxiety or simple non-attraction. Im not putting anyone else thru that if i can help it.
lp
Certainly sounds to me like the provider took advantage of your disability which you disclosed in advance. You should write a review to warn others as that's one of the purposes of this group/site.
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I have a question for you: Was the lady who showed up the same lady in the pictures, only older and less fit? Or did she flip on you and send one of her cohorts knowing that with your disability you would be less likely to turn her away and cause a scene? What do you think? Either way you should include that in your review. If it was an older and less fit version of the lady in the pictures, that's bait and switch that should be identified. If it's someone else all together that's fraud, plain and simple.
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Interested to hear your thoughts.
Well of course it is difficult. No one is saying it is easy. I have been in the same position. I have both walked out and stuck it through. Why? Because I agree it is difficult. That said, it’s still what you should do and justified. Like many things, we are not always able to make the hard decision.
Fast forward, the second part is twofold and IMO also still true. One is that if you don’t walk out, it is you that owns that decision. I don’t care how hard the decision is, it is still yours to make. Suggesting it’s difficulty as an excuse IMO is a cop out. It’s on us to make those hard decisions or live with the consequences.
The second is the review part. I get not everyone finds this easy either. This one I have been fairly good at. As a member of this community, I feel it is my responsibility to warn others. If you stick around, at least warn others. If you can’t even do this, it’s hard to justify when reviews mislead you, because you are part of the problem.
Did you mean listed on different ad sites or did you mean she had pages of reviews? How many reviews did she have and did you contact her reviewers? This info is normally readily available to you if you do the proper research. I am not saying you did not...just asking.
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The other issue I see is the length of the date. In the future, why not see the next girl for an hour, maybe 90 minutes, then on your next date do the dinner date thing. That would save you a ton of money and avoid the frustration you experienced as you would know from the shorter date if her pics matched, if you felt a connection, etc.
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Sorry you were deceived in this way. Let it be a learning experience. This lifestyle can be truly uplifting but everyone who partakes in it gets disappointed at times. Hang in there!
I would never do a 4 hour first session with a provider, even if she were recommended by a provider I trusted. And I do dinner dates only with providers I know well, so I’m sure we’ll have a good time.
But then, some guys have a much bigger budget for this kind of thing than I do, it seems.
well, perhaps i will Bia....now that edinathens, and now you, are making me think in terms of others possibly being "hurt"..... thanks for the input....
I have to get my Part 2 experience out there on the board first....part 2 only involved a cancelled date, stay tuned
Wrong on all levels. Providers that do this count on you not bolting when you see the reality. You may have still booked the provider anyway but the fact that she lied about her age/weight/looks etc. is wrong and it will always be in the back of your mind during the date and after the date. They are lying. I am a die hard supporter of honestly, so providers and/or clients should be called out for this bad behavior. It helps no one and hurts the whole community.
thank you scarlet, i appreciate your perspective.
Given the following facts: Its My room in a classy, conservative and scholarly hotel.....Im in a wheelchair due to (brittle bone disease).....and it was a 4 hour dinner date. HOW do I do what you suggest, coonfront her? whaat does that conversation sound like and what happens along the way....how does she react, and how do I React to the reaction, etc. ??
What is a scholarly hotel? Do you need an advanced degree to stay?
a complete waste of your time and money (very expensive at that). Write a review so potential clients are aware of her deceptive practices.
This is why I always do 1 hr sessions with providers who I've never met before. If we don't click and/or they're deceptive in their advertising, I'm not paying mortgage payments to find that out.
when seeing a new provider for the first time. I always start with one hour, but all of my repeats are for two hours or more. I found early on that if I booked two hours with someone new, and we just didn't connect socially or there was a serious misrepresentation on her part as far as looks or services, I wanted out of there as quickly as possible. When you are not having a good time, two hours can seem like four, so why book more than one hour until you know you are compatible and can have fun together? Money is not an issue for me either as long as I'm getting value, but I hate wasting money when I'[m not getting what I bargained for. I don't do a lot of four-hour sessions (mostly two to three) with my regulars, but I feel bad for you that you took a four-hour risk like this with a girl you haven't met, and it blew up in your face.
Mr. Saveaho here is on a mission, is foolish with his money and likes to hear himself talk. The escort obviously caught on to this with her sob story and was hoping for a second date. Clue: This is a review site.
Thanks jinx the cat....I appreciate it...
Mr. Saveaho huh?
I mean you're out here tipping BEFORE you've received any service...
And that's just a horrible terrible thing in yours, and others eyes huh? How dare I?
I think it's really "Telling" that so many have found it necessary to criticize and "school" me about giving women a modest gift without getting some sort of guaranteed sexual thrill in return, like I violated some "code "....
It's not about a code. I just know I'm not walking into a restaurant and giving the waitress a tip before I've even sat down. Why? Because it wouldn't make any sense to do that.
-- Modified on 7/1/2024 10:18:50 AM
I want to thank Robert for being....uh, respectful and sticking up for my right NOT to out this provider by writing a review. I now feel deep regret for posting about it....I did so mainly because since I joined here 3+ weeks back I made it one of my central themes, I'm trying to get in the game so to speak....but there was another of my mistakes...this isn't a game, it's not even a "Hobby"...these are real people, and it's their life.
Robert is also correct about this site...it is NOT just a review site, it's a LOT more than that.
-- Modified on 6/30/2024 9:42:35 PM
You are new and there is SO much to this lifestyle. So many competing views, emotions, thoughts, etc. It's a lot to digest, to be sure. I remember when I first started I thought how difficulty can all this be? Man see girls on web. Man emails girl. Man meets girl. Man pays girl and then man has sex with girl. Simple, right? Ummmm, no. So much more detail involved. So much etiquette. So many unwritten rules. So much variance from woman to woman. Some things are similar to RW dating, some things are VERY different. It can be overwhelming to start.
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Give yourself time with this. I guarantee you will feel differently about it. Now, you may feel better or you may feel worse, but try and see it through, bc when this realm is good...it can be incredible. Just know that there are pitfalls in anything worth pursuing. Skiing is awesome but you can break your leg. Going to the theatre is fun unless the performance is poor. Ordering that great steak is salivating unless they cook it to a temperature you despise. But we dont stop doing those things bc there is downside do we?
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Like I said. Take your time. Do what you want. Listen to everyone, well every serious voice that is, as that is almost all of them, then make decisions that are best for you. Nothing beats experience in this lifestyle. It is SO valuable. You dont have much nor should you. Most of us were disasters when we first started. I'll speak for myself; my first 4-5 dates were so bad I left the business for a long time. Then I lurked. And read. And learned. And asked. It was only then I started to enjoy it. You will figure it out. It just takes time. Give yourself that time. 
I have posted many times about "unfulfilled expectations." Here are some of the threads.
http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion-boards/ter-general-board-12/expectations-are-important-for-me-809742
Expectations are important for me (2015)
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http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion-boards/ter-general-board-12/managing-expectations--859753
Managing expectations (2016)
"Unfulfilled Expectations are very much a factor in the experience and can disrupt it or, in bad cases, ruin it."
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http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion-boards/ter-general-board-12/unfulfilled-or-shattered-expectations--883299
Unfulfilled or Shattered Expectations (2016)
"are a major cause of disappointment in meetings."
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http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion-boards/ter-general-board-12/greater-disappointment-due-to-unfulfilled-expectations-907932
Greater disappointment due to unfulfilled expectations (2017)
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http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion-boards/ter-general-board-12/unfulfilled-expectations-leads-to-greater-disappointment-915940
Unfulfilled Expectations leads to greater disappointment (2017)
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http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion-boards/ter-general-board-12/believable-age-believable-pics-917783
Believable age; believable pics (2017)
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http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion-boards/ter-general-board-12/unfulfilled-expectations-972241
Unfulfilled expectations (2020)
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http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion-boards/ter-general-board-12/old-does-not-always-mean-inaccurate-1012964
Old does not always mean inaccurate (2023)
"If the photos are an accurate depiction of her current appearance, I wouldn't know how old the photos are except for the 8-track tape player or the rotary dial telephone in the background. ...
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*****"Providers should NOT claim to be an age that THEY find believable. That could lead to false expectations. Pick an age that *I* (and other mongers) will find believable, real or not. (If in doubt, ask us!)"*****
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(Age is not the only expectation created by words or photos. If you're expecting no tattoos and long blonde hair to her waist and she's switched to a rainbow Mohawk and added tattoos and a cheek piercing THAT disrupts things. She should mention it in advance.)
... The provider showed up basically on time but SIGNIFICANTLY different than her photos...immediately and noticeable different while still fully clothed. I am NOT a harsh or mean-spirited, judgmental person when it comes to physical appearance (that would be the ultimate Hypocrisy), but this provider had changed a lot from her listed pictures. She also turned out to be wayyyy more mature than her listed age, well beyond the accepted "5 year margin of error". In fact she turned out to be well older than ME (I'm 56). Still I made the absolute best of the situation, went the full 4, gave my best DATY and she was at least happy. But deep inside, I'm thinking....."This is just absurd...it's not (just) the money, I thought of the time and effort I put into this..."
tell the provider up front, especially when you're dealing with that amount of money, if she doesn't match her pics really close you will leave!
Make sure that is completely understood!
Now, the degree of closeness is your call.
Sorry, this happened on your first time!
Maybe just go for a one hour visit until you find a provider that is honest, and you want to spend more time with.
Badger, I appreciate very much your supportive post and logical approach to the dilemma ....you're seem like a good soul....
The issue with what you proposed (i.e. telling the provider up front that if she "doesn't match her photos" reasonably well, the dates off and I'll leave) does NOT solve the problem, it still very much is the same.....to begin with, even I know that when you make such a statement/demand and display such a "attitude", many providers resent the sheer uppity "attitude" and dynamics such a demand presents in favor of the client, and they won't bother engaging or showing up lest the client exercise this very right to cancel. No matter how we approach this, we keep coming back to this issue of personal judgement and opinion....do you follow what I'm saying? Plus, once again, if I'm the one with the room (i.e. outcall) how do I get her to simply "leave" without some major tussle or drama (or worse...?)
The vast majority of providers will insist that "OH I WOULD NEVER DO SUCH A THING...." Well, they wouldn't until they DO.....plus there is the issue of Bad Faith Customers/client/johns using this clause for their own nefarious plans/ends, just to screw with the girl's emotions and try to pressure her to reduce the fee upon arrival. BOTTOM LINE....EVERYONE should be COMPLETELY 100% honest, above board BEFORE ANY MEETING....simple! Or else forget about it. Nothing else works.....this whole thing of a "range or acceptable margin for error" whereby "The provider lists her age as 36-40, claims in her pre-date communication she's actually 'a little older', and then shows up as a 53 year old" is absurd on all levels. WHY CAN'T providers simply be 100% honest/open about this.....like clients/customers are REQUIRED by the Providers? Answer that please, someone.....!
I'll repeat on other thing I mentioned before.....I LOVE OLDER WOMEN, I greatly PREFER them....what I dislike is blatant dishonesty/misrepresentation...if the provider (being 58-60_ had said "you know what 'gus', I'll be 59 in 2 months..." then this whole discussion never takes place. I would have been FINE with the whole experience....
I always disclose my physical circumstances/disability; if I chose to, I could just submit pictures from my upper thighs up to my head, which only shows my upper body which is (even at 56) still very muscular and fit from wheeling around my whole life, and my face is that of an average typical looking guy.....but my legs are very damaged and obviously crippled....I could present myself as a former NFL player sitting at a table, and then when she arrives "play on her sympathy or use the situation to my advantage in a manipulative way, etc."
Unfulfilled expectations.
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"Providers should NOT claim to be an age that THEY find believable. That could lead to false expectations. Pick an age that *I* (and other mongers) will find believable, real or not."
Thank you for your complement!
If it's your room, don't answer or open the door.
If you have to open it, don't let 'em in!
You seemed pretty upset at her appearance and said, iirc, you wanted to end the session!
You should do what you want!
I met a provider that did not match the pics and thought about leaving, but did stay, one step at a time into the incall, for some really good sex!
But that was for one hour and a few hundred dollars.
At an outcall, I booked a Dark haired Chicana spinner. A 5'9" 135 lb, blonde, white girl came to the door, and I sent her away!
Demand, uppity attitude, are you kiddin' me! You put out two grand and a tip for an uncomfortable time and are worried about what this deceiver/liar will think about you? Too many fish in these waters!
You have a lot to think about and choices to make.
Good luck in the P4P world!
You want him to essentially threaten a girl with lack of payment BEFORE he even meets her? That is a virtual guarantee she will place him on her DNS list and possibly worse. I am sorry but that is epically bad advice.
who engages in deceptive advertising practices puts you on her DNS list? By walking out, I have already put her on mine. It's the simps and suck-ups here that are actively encouraging providers to believe that all customers are milquetoast idiots and can be run over at will. One thing that I have found is that there are thousands more providers available than I will ever get to see in my remaining lifetime, so I'm not so desperate that I have to see any particular one of them. After hundreds spaced over 16 years, most are a blur anyway.
Do you see the irony of you being worried about the fallout from standing up to a deceptive provider when you give everyone you see a perfect review score? (except for one. She must have been a real disappointment in your eyes. Lol)
for you!
It was for G & MP to use it or not!
I didn't say ANYTHING about threatening anyone, where did you pull that out of?
Also, did not say anything about payment! Pulled that out of the same spot?
Horrendous advice, just another opinion! Good, don't follow it, but it wasn't for you!
Fuck her DNSL, shouldn't have seen her in the first place!
At least not for that long and a tip too!
I guess you aren't that respectful, and I never had two words/posts with you before!
And I didn't say you shouldn't post, so don't go there!
-- Modified on 7/2/2024 1:00:55 AM
You said "tell the provider up front, especially when you're dealing with that amount of money, if she doesn't match her pics really close you will leave!" That is a direct threat. It's your words. Own them. Truly horrific advice.
than ordering a set of tires over the phone and then telling the tire salesman that if they are not the exact tires I ordered, I will walk out and go somewhere else. That may be a threat for a weak-kneed simp, but it's just providing information for the rest of us. Deceptive providers reap what they sow. If they are honest and play it straight, they will get many happy regulars. If they lie and deceive in their marketing, their customers will be one and done at best, and many will be walk-outs. You need to stop gasping and clutching your pearls here when guys are advocating a little tough love for scammers.
-- Modified on 7/2/2024 8:55:20 AM
a warning to be honest or don't bother coming to the session!
I never said they weren't my words!
Your attitude toward Mongers is horrifically horrendous!
A weak-kneed simp! I don't know why you were complemented but be horrendously happy!!
Reading comprehension problem?
The money part of the sentence was to Gus, he's spending $2000 plus a tip, he should get what's advertised, at least close, and let the provider know he expects her to be honest!
Did not say anything to him about telling her he will not pay her!
I did some research and found out where you pulled your incorrect accusation out of^^!
I walked from a fucked up session, left after 15 minuets, a while back and paid for the time I booked, minus the normal tip I always give!
So, i don't do non payments or advise non payments!!
That is for each Monger to make that call!
Watch the grip on the pearls, if they break and scatter you might not find all of those plastic babies!
Without something more saying if I'm not getting what I expected based on your ad I'm not going to complete the transaction is hardly a threat. Clearly therre are a bunch of ways to say that, and some could even be done in a threatening way. Barder's phrasing was clearly blunt but not really some type of threat. Unless of course you want to argue someone saying they have no intentions of letting someone else take advantage of them is somehow threatening the potentially opportunistic person.
Saying it up front seems like it would actually be best for everyone.
first forgive i have not totally read through all those previous long epic posts. but seems to me that
1) upon arrival you should have sent her away, i have done that myself on rare occasion - there are plenty of others
2) if stayed should have shortened to one hour max
3) definitely write a review -- its to prevent the next guy being conned
4) had another written an accurate review would have saved you
4) i realize the OP is in a delicate health condition, but seems that he feels totally powerless
5) his concern for the lady's feelings is misplaced - part of a review is to also assist the provider in knowing how to improve.
6) bottom line - him not posting honest review - he is just assisting another, or more, gentlemen getting ripped off.
It kinda sucks doing this solo without guidance I know. If you're ever in the northern Virginia region let me know. We'll hang and make it right with trusted providers!
thank you marine! Full disclosure sir....although I am in a wheelchair, I was born this way, so I am not a Veteran...I assme by your name that you are? if so you have my gratitude and respect. My dad was a vietnam vet (we suspect my congenital bone condition was due to exposure to Agent Orange and a few other things...cannot be proven though.
As others have said, never book that long for a first date. I think everyone here has had a similar experience whether it be age or level of fitness of the provider, but it’s easier to stomach blowing 400-600 on a one hour date that doesn’t work out. I’ve never asked someone to leave just based on what you describe, but I have opted not to have sex with them and just considered it a charitable donation.
Nowadays, I personally like to follow providers on twitter/X because they’ll often throw in some candid photos so you can better see what they really look like. If you don’t mind disclosing, what city are you in? Maybe someone here who frequents the discussion boards could give you a solid recommendation. I also tend to prefer mature providers but my definition of mature is 30’s to early 50s. I can think of a couple of perfect fits for you off the top of my head who tour all over.
Dr901, sent you a PM. Thanks for your reply
I'm really sorry you had this experience. You sound like an amazing human being.
And I love it that you are so much of a gentleman that you didn't reject her at the door. I'm sure that you helped her out a lot that day!
For your future visits to new people, maybe you should see if they have an ongoing social media account so you can see them in real life doing regular stuff.
Gals like myself, I have a Twitter account that I post pictures of myself regularly, so you can see I'm really who I am...
I also say I'm younger than I am. But I can get away with it because I look much younger. Good genes!
https://x.com/LadyAnna_MN