I suppose I get why TER might want to keep things the way they are now but wondering what others think.

It isn't meant to be convenient, they want you to think you are missing out on something and that you should pay for VIP in order get a feature.  

I am sure you are aware that everything you said is the whole reason TER wants you to pay for VIP. I don't think you wondering what is in the message is egotistical, but the whole reason you get the message is for you to wonder what it says and then plunk down the money to pay for VIP. This site runs on people paying for VIP, so they are not going to change the messaging system at this time. Same reason you have to pay to read the juicy details. I don't give two shits what is in another provider's reviews, so not something I would pay for. Interestingly though it is free for a provider to post an ad, which as a provider is something I would be willing to pay for.  
My personal take away from a business perspective:  
Put ads on the site to generate profit. If people don't want to see the ads they can pay for the VIP that will also allow full reading of the reviews and no ads. Allow provider comments/context on reviews. I know that scares some clients that have extremely low self esteem, but trust me, if providers can handle the reviews, you can handle the comments. Put your big boy panties on, you an do this!! Make this site more provider friendly!!  
 Allow providers to post a basic ad for free but they can upgrade for a charge.  
The messaging should be free regardless of plan participation.  
This would all be a good start.  
As always,  
stay sane and stay safe  
Scarlet

Not sure show complicated/expensive that would be to fix on TERs side. But as to your issue...why not write "PRs" i.e. problem reports and get 2 free days so you can see and respond to your mail?

I would prefer that when I try to send a message, before I type it all out, I see a warning that the person will not be able to read my message. I get that cluttering their inbox might entice them to get VIP, but it’s also a disservice to those that have VIP.

For me, that is one of the best features of VIP. Some ladies, albeit less than 4-5 years ago, can verify you that way but much more importantly is having access to a providers reviewers, as that is where I get my much needed info re: compatibility with a woman.  
.
I honestly can't remember having any "unpleasant" convos over PM but maybe there was 1 or 2. In my experience, when someone returns my PM, 99% of the time it is very cordial. Not doubting your experiences but why/how would it get "unpleasant?"

I was not asking about why TER might do so -- I agree that doing this can create the incentive you suggest and clearly implied that in my comment -- but as asking how the general community finds this situation. If you message someone and they don't have VIP (and you might not know that) so never respond is that anoying to you? Would you like to know before sending it that you are sending to someone that will not be able to respond (unless they want to get VIP)?

Thanks for actually reading and understanding the post.

And you'd been making such nice progress.
Too bad.
Smile for me.

-- Modified on 5/21/2024 12:59:31 PM

I think I understand what you’re saying and I don’t think you’re being egotistical. It’s not “oh I’m so important that somebody’s gonna be lost in the woods until I answer their PM; I must find them.” It’s more like “hey one of y’all sent me something, just know I can’t see who or read the message. I’m not being a dick.”

Everyone has their own experiences. In general I've had issues with rude/crude language and guys asking for a lot (information/recs) while offering little in return (have no recs, have no info).

Number 1 for the reviews.  It also helpful for screening. Several providers in the past have asked me to send them a PM to prove who I am.

What's the deal with you and CDL here? Nobody cares about this crap except you two pedantic nerds. Is any of this relevant to a provider's performance? You're clogging up the board with your lame comments because putting a provider down over grammar makes you feel better about yourself? This is loser shit. Your crappy attitudes are why providers have no review policies and choose to delist more and more.

There's little enough that goes on here these days without some like you trying to tell us what we can and can't say. So lemme 'splain it to ya: we communicate on this board using the written word. There are certain rules pertaining to the written word so that we communicate clearly and effectively. When those rules are broken it's harder to communicate.
Also, people who try to portray themselves as intelligent but then misuse the language come across as ignorant and low class. And THAT really IS "loser shit."
Now go smoke a blunt and mellow out.

But some new guys need help, dont have much to give, if anything, so I take those on a case by case basis. And some guys are a bit crude, I will grant you that as well. I guess I just tend to ignore those guys, especially the ones that are overly so. Thanks for your reply.

Conan the Gramarian has been a long standing member of the community. He just cannot post all the time some sometimes others in the community help out.

It's already implemented for an alias so one might think the effort to extend it to VIP status would be pretty simple.

What I find really funny is that Eva comes on her and calls people losers and other derogatory things while using her alias. Come on babe, cowgirl up and use your handle if you’re going to act like a tough girl.

Yeah, but I don’t think difficulty is the reason we don’t have it. It boils down to marketing. The coding would reduce the number of PM’s being sent to basic members which would reduce the impetus to become VIP.

the new people who have been posting here ten minutes, and who know none of us that have been exchanging barbs and quips on this board for YEARS, come here and try to tell us how we are all doing this wrong, and then hides behind an alias while doing it.  Do you have a stick up your ass all the time or just when you are posting here?

I'd say 90% of  the PM's I get could have been said publicly in the forums.  

Honestly, it has been the case with me. Some people I know on here who post on other sites/forums and those places usually dont put the pm feature behind a pay wall.
Since we can never be sure that both of us have vip at the same time its just easier to use a medium in which there could never be a black hole (sender side) or some unknown pms from someone (receiver side)

I’m actually the opposite, I do like having access to other providers reviews, but I typically use this to learn about the reviewer, not necessarily the provider.  

more providers don’t utilize reviews as you do.

it's a nice thought, but for those of us that maintain anonymity when reviewer, it would be nearly impossible to implement on a regular basis.

So I believe in utilizing a variety of methods to pre-screen/screen clients. No one approach will work for all.  
Clearly in your case, the review approach isn’t appropriate, so I would need to rely on other methods of determining compatibility and comfort level.  

A friend of mine was a prominent reviewer. He had a review of a "Top 100" provider whom another girl wanted to remove from the list in order to move up the list herself. So she got personal info on the guy and outed him, forcing him to remove all this reviews. Who knows how many times this was done. Is this an extreme way of accomplishing her mission? Yes. And yet, it happened. My friend could never prove a thing and has been inactive here ever since.

Thanks for your feedback, and yes, this is an excellent way to determine compatibility with a protentional client. I live in a rural area in which there are few providers so if a gent want to see someone it is going to be me or he is going to have to travel to a bigger city. But yes, in the past I have turned down several clients because of the very demeaning and derogatory way they spoke about a provider. Also if a guy has written reviews for 20+ providers and every one if them is very negative pretty much a sure thing that nothing is going to satisfy the guy. Thanks for adding to the discussion!!  

Just an FYI, if you are expecting an honest answer from him you are not going to get it.

We are engaging in an illegal activity and if we get caught it would hurt our reputation, career and relationships with family/friends/lovers.  That alone is enough to hide to the general public.

There are risks on both sides of the transaction and people need to do whatever they feel necessary to protect themselves or simply don't play.

I hate when providers play dumb and are intentionally obtuse on this subject. It is one of those things that gets a provider put on the permanent no-book list. It is insane that some providers expect me to be fine with handing over my DL and employment information while they have no reviews, no social media and no website. If a provider requires personal ID and a 25% deposit but has no reviews, automatic no book. You want me to be comfortable with my info out there but aren't comfortable with yours being out there? FOH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But I can't, I feel exactly the same as you do on each of your points.  In my case, I'm a high profile professional who is  
well-regarded in my community and that is why I cannot allow myself to have my real ID connected to these illegal activities.  Hence the creation of my alter ego, CDL, an equal-opportunity asshole that could never reasonably be associated with my real life persona.  

If someone has no reviews, no social media, no website, and wants a deposit along with your screening info that is not a provider, that is a scam.

Sure, Jan!  
LOL

because there has never been a time when I didn't have VIP. but it would be helpful for those of us who ARE VIP to get a notification back when we send a message to a member without VIP.  I understand why TER wants to notify YOU that some unidentified member is trying to send you a PM in order to encourage you to upgrade your membership, but once I KNOW a member doesn't have VIP, it would be great to not waste my time sending them multiple repeat messages during a time they don't have VIP.  This is the problem with members who move in and out of VIP membership.  Other VIP's that you may have PM'd with in the past don't know if you are still getting the messages or just being rude and not responding, because there is no notification that you are no longer VIP.    

So if you see an alias posted something on the forums today, the chances are excellent that he or she still has VIP and will see your pm.

420Smoka4Eva, I am thinking you may have misunderstood my comment/question. When I asked what clients were hiding, I was referring to their TER persona, NOT to any real life information.