OK... Met my new neighbor last night.  She was very nice but seemed very familiar to me. Well this morning I realized that she was a provider from one of the sites I use.  I had an appointment with her later this week but told her I needer to reschedule.  I would like to see her, but I think it would make her unconfortable living next door.  Am I wrong for not seeing her??  Would love to know other providers opinions on this.

How about in the same small suburb?

-- Modified on 8/21/2002 12:26:44 PM

You have all the luck.
positives: 1. you will never be late.
          2. you will know  when not to call (others present)
          3. she may never know, tell her you have to drive a bit and enjoy a beer before going over. ( dont have to drive drunk he. he.
          4. could be a game to see how long it will take  for her to find out.
          5. New Years Y ears Eve - "last resort"
I can go on and on, and yes there are alot of negatives but it could be a fun experience, unless you meet that someone special and she somehow finds out. OUCH!!!.

So a provider lives nextdoor. So you want to see her. Sounds pretty easy to deal with to me. What's the difference if she lives on the next block, the next town, the next country? When you run into her on the street, treat her the same way you would any attractive neighbor whose pants you want to get into. Only this time, you actually have a shot. Go for it. PS: Asking for directions is sure to get a smile. That (and $$$$) is sure to get you lucky.

Just remember to treat her with respect and don't gossip to the other neighbors.  I've found that when a lady is not working, she's the same as anyone else except usually a whole lot nicer than most.

The only conflict I might have is the money flying out of my pocket everytime I walked by her house - and the aching need to borrow a cup of sugar every night.

this has to be a movie, really.

i'm looking for the street brawl that erupts when all the guy neighbors try to schedule on the same day. and then all the wives who march over to sort out the disturbance.

oh, and the teenage boys who offer yard care. free.

keep notes, and sell it to hbo. please.

Are you all just this damn stupid or what??? He didn't ask YOUR opinions....OF COURSE you fools are grinning ear to ear like the overgrown teenagers you are at the prospect of having sex on tap like beer at the local bar. You probably think you could just go over in your damn BVDs in the morning, $300 in hand, and get some whenever you wanted.

I SWEAR some of you guys need GFs.....

He asked PROVIDERS what THEY thought....as in...providers typically guard their indentities, and often, for those who only do outcall, their residences. This is for their protection....to make SURE jerks like you guys don't just show up when you like, hard on in one hand, money in the other.

Perhaps SHE would just as well not be living next door to one of her clients. Or did that occur to even one of you dimwits?

"What's the problem?" Indeed. Spoken like Bluto from Animal House. No wonder some of you have to pay for it....

What's wrong with posting a little reactionary response? Hmmm...sort of like you did

-- Modified on 8/21/2002 2:46:20 PM

Definately breathes new life into my "girl next door" fantasy...

who cares if SHE is uncomfortable? That is for her to worry about just so long as he takes care of his side of the equation and treats her with respect. Sorry, but if I do something that is perfectly legitimate and YOU don't like it, that's your problem not mine. If she doesn't want to see ME, let her make that call. Not my place to make it for her. By the way, I checked, I'm not "just this damn stupid", so I must be "or what"; as in "what" the f*** do I care what you think.  

-- Modified on 8/21/2002 4:02:17 PM

my atf just bought a new home about 10 minutes from me ... so i can empathize with this guy, fer crissakes. except for the wave hello when you fetch the morning paper.

hey, sitting at home on a sunny afternoon listening to lou reed singing "white light, white heat," i *had* to see this movie!

white light goin down to my brain
oooh oh, doncha know it's gonna make me insane
white heat goin down to my toes
lord have mercy white light had him ints throws!
WORK IT!


-- Modified on 8/21/2002 4:10:08 PM

Well, since you aren't just that damn stupid...then you DO know the presumption is that she wouldn't KNOW that he lived right next-door, right? He pretty much implies that he hadn't told her...that he hadn't made the connection until "just now" and was coming here for advice.

You see...we can probably REASONABLY assume...(you know...those of us who aren't just that damn stupid and thus using logic) that SHE doesn't know that he lives across the hall...else she would have cancelled the appointment already, OR already let him off the hook regarding any uncomfortable feelings. Else, he wouldn't be here seeking your enlightened advice, now would he? He’d already know what he should do…

So...really now, let’s keep it real here...what you are actually saying is that your "perfectly legitimate actions" are that...knowing the rules of the game (that providers typically guard their identity)...you'd go to see her without ever telling her that her presumption of anonymity was an illusion.

I can see how you made that “common test mistake” though…being the sort of guy who only thinks of himself, his cock, and what HE think are his legitimate actions, it never occurred to you that a nice guy might come here and seek advice from the ladies on how another lady might feel about an awkward situation. Because…as you state…you wouldn’t give a damn. But…I am sure that she wouldn’t think any of this was less than “respectful” treatment

BTW…I don't think you care what I think. That doesn't make you any less of an ass though....


-- Modified on 8/22/2002 5:14:50 AM

-- Modified on 8/21/2002 6:38:14 PM

Its a lot better than showing up at a provider's place and your wife answers the door is a black lace bra and thong set.  LOL

I would hope that you would give me a call or e-mail saying,

**************

"Here is the deal. I have an appt with you on XXX day and I am really looking forward to it. However, much to my surprise I have since realized we are neighbors. As in - we live on the same street. I would approach you in person but I didn't want to freak you out. Just so you know who I am, I am the nice looking blond guy in 1234 on the corner with the blue truck.

Anyway, I am still interested in seeing you but didn't know how you would feel about seeing someone who lived so close. I feel a little awkward but am still interested. If you don't feel comfortable, I will understand and if we meet in the neighborhood I will do not more than smile at you. I would never compromise your safety or privacy in any way and I hope you will return the favor toward me. Please let me know what you would like to do.

Sincerely,

The Next Door Neighbor Guy"

************

I thought about you approaching her in person but soon realized that might be threatening and scary for her. I think this is the best way.

-- Modified on 8/21/2002 10:32:11 PM

gotta have some of that logic stuff MLAM is on ... whatever it is, it's one hell of a happy trip!

so i'm swimming out here, watching the folk on the logic beach, and all of a sudden, this big fish swims up next to me. a beautiful, shimmery, presence, all silvery and sleek. and i could think, "uh oh, this could be a shark." or i could think, "wow, this could be a mermaid."

this lady has already seen him before (that's how he recognized her), and she agreed to see him again. so she doesn't have fearful feelings about him. so i think she would handle it fine if he just showed up and said hi, and by the way i'm your neighbor. or she might be flattered if he came over with flowers just to introduce himself as her neighbor and make the connection with their past and future times together, and let her decide what she wants to do.

it's kind of a style thing on his part, how he wants to deal with it. i think the young lady can handle it, either way. she can swim.

I'm amazed at some of the responses on this thread. Hey guys??? Go get laid, wouldya, relax already!!!!

Anyways, to your very legit question... it kinda makes my head spin. Of course, if you are *not a nice guy* (I don't know you. I think you ARE nice or you wouldn't be asking!), this has potential to be a very bad, bad, situation indeed! I mean, you know where she lives! (I personally would NEVER work from my home or have my clients knowing where I live. Never, never, ever!)  Think of the potential for abuse there! And I am not going to go into detail on that or give anyone ideas... but it is really making my head go around and around!

On the other hand... IF you are as nice a guy as you seem... it could be ok. My advice would be to talk to her about it on the phone... NOT face to face, don't be confrontational.  Just let her know that you live in the same building, and wanted to know how SHE feels about it... then let HER take control of the situation.

And whatever she decides, whatever you do, please oh please, respect her privacy! Don't go bragging to your guy friends about guess who lives in my building. Don't tell ANYONE. Keep it YOUR little secret.

Hugs*
Nicole

Mr. Carpe is exactly right.  It shows respect and concern, and should score lots of points in the provider's mind.  You may want to add a line or two in the e-mail reminding her that your reputation is also at stake, maybe to a lesser degree (depending on the moral climate of the neighborhood, your marital status, etc.), and if she is a reasonably intelligent woman, she'll make an informed decision.  But whatever that decision is, she will know that you are a gentleman.

Dude, I could me mistaken, but I think you are....

"this lady has already seen him before (that's how he recognized her)"

Nowhere does he say that in his post. He says he recognizes her from the SITE he goes to (presumably an escort mall site or an agency site), but he never says he has dated her before. Presumably, if he had, he would have made that clear...as in "This babe I have gotten with before and would like to get with again just moved in next door". If this were the case, then my guess would be he would leverage the existing relationship (as you imply) and just ask HER about it rather than US.

"she agreed to see him again. so she doesn't have fearful feelings about him."

These are both assumptions, and potentially bad ones. One, we don't know that she has seen him, nor do we really know that she has agreed to see him again. If this "site" is an incall agency, he could have made the appointment to see her, but she is just seeing guys as they come in, one by one. I'm thinking this because, if there were screening involved (as with outcall independents or even outcall agencies), she'd KNOW he lived across the hall and they would be dealing with this on their own. Maybe not if she is with an agency (again, maybe she doesn't get the 411 on her dates until the last minute). But if she were an outcall independent, then she's know where she was showing up to for this already planned date by now, right? (then again, maybe he meets girls at a hotel room, or something..who knows? It isn't clear).

Anyway, it doesn't matter. We don't know that she has ever seen him before, and I think not, else this debate wouldn't be raging on. In addition...I am really beginning to think a lot of guys really don't understand that these ladies are NOT your GFs, or even your friends, until they make it PLAIN otherwise.

What you are suggesting that "she might be flattered if he came over with flowers just to introduce himself as her neighbor " is to my understanding the ULTIMATE violation of the hobby code...that when we AREN'T hobbying, we don't know each other. How'd you like it if she just walked up to you and said "Oh hi, we know each other from that thing we do?" You wouldn't care? Well...what if you were married? What if you were standing next to your wife, or nearby someone who knew your wife? Or just with an acquintances...would you like to have to POTENTIALLY explain where you knew this woman from?

Maybe you don't care about these things, but most guys do. In a world where guys get paranoid over just simple screeening, they sure as hell don't want escorts announcing in public that, oh yeah, I recognize you....you have to pay for it....opps, is this your GF?

Now...if you can appreciate THAT (and I don't know that you can...again...you might be a little out of touch with the TRUE roles of provider and client...that you don't HAVE a relationship away from the session unless she tells you otherwise), then maybe you can appreciate the reverse...that SHE doesn't want one of the hundreds of guys "she knows" just walking up to her and and announcing "oh, yeah, I recognize you...wait..get on your knees so I can be sure". Maybe that part of her life is PRIVATE. You know, that whole illegal / social stigma thing??

Look...the bottom line is this...and if you don't get it because the logic doesn't work for you, then..well, you don't (see earlier comments about needing a GF). Escorts ASSUME that their identites are secret to their clients until they reveal them. No escort EVER has to make this plain...it is THE MOST ASSUMED AND BASIC rule of the hobby. To protect her privacy and safety, she knows a bit about you, you know a little less about her. SHE AIN'T YOUR GF.

That being the case, the client doesn't get to open the proverbial curtain just because he choose to, even when he came about the key to do so without ill intent. He knows the curtain is there for a reason...HE SHOULD RESPECT IT.

One more example...just to make it more plain to the utter deunces among us....how would you guys like it if another guy...in total privacy, because he hobbys as well, and doesn't want to get you (or himself) in any trouble...but still, another guy comes up to you and says "hey...Steve....you date Lisa? She's my ATF...I saw you leaving her place last week". How would you feel? If you are still grounded in reality, you'd be offended, or at least surprised. Most of us hobby in SECERT..because it is illegal, because it has certain stigma. What we do, when we do it, is assumed to be in private. That is why we have "handles" on this board...right?

Flowers huh? What makes you think she would want to see you ANY time OTHER than when you are paying for it? Because she treats you so nice when you do? You guys need a reality check...

(BTW....what should he do? He should use the same means that he used to make the appointment to inquire if there is a problem)

-- Modified on 8/22/2002 5:11:02 AM

-- Modified on 8/22/2002 10:56:40 AM

Thank you. For goodness sake, I am glad SOME of us still have our wits.....this is exactly what I just posted to "drollere" that the guy should do.

I think it is very curious and interesting that this post, a very real world dilemma, has not been responded to by ANY provider.  hey girls, I'd like to know your opinions as well.

Chatting with a hobbyist during a date and come to find out we're neighbors was NOT fun.  I learned to never compare even vicinity as to where I live from there on.  

It's been awhile now and we are doing fine as neighbors, but it's just too "real" for me.

I'm pretty certain your lady neighbor would prefer not to know you know and/or see you as a hobbyist.  I could be wrong.  I just know that I like to seperate my business with my personal life.  


Good luck

Ok so he emails her and says we're neighbors.  Now she has to worry about being outed in her neighborhood.  The email suggested might put her at ease that you are a gent, but it may bring up insecurities that you might just out her anyway locker room style.

I'm sooooo glad I decided to be discreet about my identity on the internet.  Scary thought to have to move because the coffee clutch ladies have found me out.

I'm assuming this lady has her face shown on her site.  This might indicate to me that she's not so concerned.  This is an assumption though.

Ok so he emails her and says we're neighbors.  Now she has to worry about being outed in her neighborhood.  The email suggested might put her at ease that you are a gent, but it may bring up insecurities that you might just out her anyway locker room style.

I'm sooooo glad I decided to be discreet about my identity on the internet.  Scary thought to have to move because the coffee clutch ladies have found me out.

I'm assuming this lady has her face shown on her site.  This might indicate to me that she's not so concerned.  This is an assumption though.

Why not ask HER?  If you're sure that she is the provider you think she is, the be honest - tell her that you realized after meeting her that she was a provider that you had scheduled an appointment with, and that before you "consumate" the meeting that you wanted her to know the situation and have the chance to back out if she's uncomfortable with having a client living next door.

Honesty is usually the best policy.

Hi, Young exec--

I agree with Misty.  I wouldn't want to see a neighbor.  Of course, I live in a very rural area, and actually work an hour away from where I live, so it's unlikely that this could happen, but still...

I think that I would not be comfortable with a neighbor knowing that much about me.

Let us all know how this works out for you, okay?
Love,
Anne

OK... I can see everyones point on this.  I appreciate you taking the time to give me all your views on this.  On one hand I did think it was awsome that she moved next store.  She is beautiful, sexy and classy!  Believe me, all the little fantasy situations did pour into my head.  

But she has lived there for 2 days now and I have talked to her each day.  I helped her and her friends move her furniture in.  Now as I am getting to know her, I agree with Misty.. it is "too real", I don't want to make her unconfortable.  I will just move on to a different provider.  

If for some reason the cozmos align and she tells me, then maybe things will be different.

Sorry I caused so much trouble between all of you, but I do appreciate everyones opinion on this.  It was good to see it from both sides of the fence.

It is hard to tell for every provider is different in her discretionary needs.  I was faced with a similar situation in which I realized that a gent I was conversing with for an appointment was someone I knew.  I opted not to see him for I have another life entirely and am....should I say..anal about keeping the two separated.  If I knew without a shadow of a doubt that the gent would keep it quiet and respect that need of mine, then I would have seen him, but nothing is guaranteed and it wasn't worth the risk to me.

There have been others that have taken that chance and have had a wonderful experience from it and some that have had it end into a nightmare.

I would be upfront and honest with this provider and let her know who you are.  Let her decide what it is that she would want to do and respect her decision.  She may have issues with it herself and it would be something she would have to decide on.

Lauren

First of all, I agree with carpevinum wholeheartedly. IMO he should email (or even phone her if she doesn't have a listed email address) and seek her opinion as to whether or not they should still meet and respect her decision.

Come on people, we're suppose to be here to help each other out, men and women. Why do we need to start calling each other names or make remarks about someone's opinion. It's enough just to say "I disagree with XXXX and here's why..." When someone posts here I, as do most people it would seem, normally feel free to post a reply. I also assume that unless they specifically address a certain person or group of people that they are welcoming replies from anyone. His question was very simple regarding if he should see her. He stated he would like to hear from providers, but did not specify he only wanted their opinions, so maybe it's wrong of me to think this, but I too assumed that he wanted opinions from non-providers as well. Again, it may be a wrong assumption, but I assumed that he added the line about provider opinions because he knows the majority of replies would be from clients, but wanted a provider perspective as well. Hmmmm, I guess this view puts me in the stupid, dimwit group...oh well, won't be the first time, nor the last time...

pt

We are a dwindling club, desperate for new members. lol

That's the kind of perspective that is particularly useful with a question like this, and I appreciate everything Carpe, Anne, Misty and Lauren have said.

Just generally, I would add that I don't like being neighbors with my mechanic. Once, some time ago, my mechanic lived a few houses down. Whenever something would go wrong with my catastrophe of a vehicle, it was too easy for me to drop by his house and ask him to have a look at it. In retrospect, this must have been terribly annoying for him. Whenever he had done some work on my car, and something went wrong with it, it would put a strain on our relationship in the neighborhood.

It's never a good idea to do business with someone you have to see every day or every week because of proximity.

More than likely her face *IS* on the site, which is how he recognized her...

I understand what you mean by "outing her" locker room style. That is EXACTLY what I would think would happen, based on some the replies. Said guys would go see her, never revealing that they knew her true identity, or giving her the option to decline to have him as a client. Then, every chance he got, he'd tell his drinking buddies who came by and saw the cute hottie who lived next door ...'Yeah, I've had her...she's a hot piece of ass (burp)...you can have her too...she's a hooka". Then he'd rub his belly, very pround of himself.

Its a tough way to make a living...

guys see providers to fuck.  guys have to pay for it.  It would be cheaper to just start having a side relationship with someone hot you know...but there lies the problem...you KNOW them.

Even if you are single...and don't have a wife or s/o you are hiding your extracurriculur activites from....part of the benefit of seeing a provider is that you can meet at a neutral location (NOT your place) and pay cash (NO way to link you to them or this activity), and you never have to see them again.

no one knows buy you and the provider.  and in many cases, the provider doesn't know YOUR number.  you know HERS.  so when you start fucking the provider next door...you just gave up the "anonymous" stuff.

what if later on you get a girlfriend.  what if the provider gets pissed at you.  what if the cops bust her and execute a search warrant at her house and she keeps logs of who she fucks...

way too close to home.  if you have a reputation to uphold...don't want the whole world to know your business..forget it.  there are way too many other providers you can pay/fuck/and don't live next door who are just as hot.

good luck.

anonymity is a good thing in this business.  especially for us guys who have things to lose if it was made public what we do in our spare time.....

time in fear that he might bad mouth her in front of his friends and neighbor.  It will be hard for her to say no.  Visiting a neighbor is generally a bad idea.  Unless she is ultra-hot, IMHO, it is not worth it.

"It's never a good idea to do business with someone you have to see every day or every week because of proximity."

Exactly...couldn't have been better said.

Look..for what it is worth, I knew that SOME of you were just poking fun with what you said...whoo hoo, hottie next door, blah, blah blah. Assuming the orginal poster is fairly intelligent, he'd see that for what it was...harmless fun.

But...he asked for advice...and SOME people posted, as clearly advice, that it didn't matter. That any consideration for HER was misplaced. Essentially they said, "who gives a damn?"

Well, now that the ladies have chimed in, common sense has been vindicated. Now, me, I'm of the opinion that when people show lack of common sense, you have to whack them upside the head (metaphorically speaking) to gt their attention, because they are beyond reasoning with. They are too far gone to be simply dissuaded as to the error of their ways...they have to be shown that they are...well...dimwitted...in their thinking.

So, yes, I was a bit abrupt. Because I felt what was being suggested was outrageous, and needed to be treated as such. No offense was orginally intended (ok, maybe a little, but hey, no one has ever accused me of being the mild mannered and gentle sort).

On the other hand, if someone feels the need to point out to me...on a community board where opinions clearly are a dime a dozen, that they don't give a f**k about mine, or what I think, well, that person is spoiling for a fight. And I'm not the meek, shirking type either.

So...no offense to most of you, and apologizes to those who took offense. To others of you, go to hell. And finally, thank you ladies for confirming what shouldn't have had to be said in the first place.

I had the same thing happen in reverse and I guess I handled it impropeerly but it turned out fine.  I seldom do outcall as I have a phobia about hotels and stings and I am a bit night blind reading street signs at night when you don't know where you are is a bitch.  Anyway on this rare occasion and because it was at a residence and not a hotel I agreed to go see him and when he gave me the address it was the next building which I guess is not the same as across the hall but still on the even side of the street next building.  I am notorious for being late due to directions and all but I was right on time for this one .  I explained the situation and told him I would not acknowlege him out on the street if it made him uncomfortable and if he didn't want to go thru with the appointment it was not a problem.  He was totally fine with it and except for the few times I have been over there I have not run into him once on the street in 2 years time.

the reply. Simply stated, he knows she is a provider, she lives next door, he cancels appt. because he is concerned SHE may be uncomfortable, and now he is asking other PROVIDERS if he should see her. My response about doing the right thing means HE SHOULD ASK HER. What does anyone elses opinion have to do with it. It is up to her to decide if she will be uncomfortable? Why must everyone make things so complicated? Just an opinion from an "or what". By the way MLAM, I may be an ass, but at least I know that I'm an ass..... too many people lack self awareness....not YOU of course.

Misty, you are probably wise for keeping your face to yourself and your clients for security reasons (Since we have never met, I can't possibly mean this as a slur on your looks, and I do not).  That, however doesn't solve the problem that would arise if by chance you accept an engagement from a new client, he walks in the door, and you both happen to knop each other because you live nearby, or you shop in the same place, or he's your shrink (just kidding ) or, whatever.  Just like you may have an incall location away from your residence, many clients use providers AWAY from theirs.   I think the original question asked how to deal with such an issue.  As a client, my views may be different from yours as a provider.  I feel that many clients have enought to lose (like a spouse and family, or a job) as a provider does.  So mutual respect for privacy benefits everyone involved.  Ergo, really no problem if thought out properly.

I'm sorry, I didn't realize.....

i don't understand the "dear abby" mentality around here ... first of all, the gal is a grown up and an independent businesswoman, fer crissakes, why all the concern for her? she can take care of herself, i'm pretty sure.

second of all, this is a style thing ... one guy might email, another call, another stop by to say hi; one might keep the appointment, might cancel the appointment, might lie awake at night wondering what's the "right thing" to do -- who cares? doesn't it depend on the girl, the guy, the kind of neighborhood, the right moment maybe just coming up, being honest, and letting things work themselves out?

my style? face to face and a friendly neighbor to start. why be "anonymous" with an email or phone call. SHE'S A PERSON. i want her to know who i am, i'm not ashamed and i assume she isn't either. she gets an email, she's at the disadvantage -- she knows she's been "discovered" and is being "observed," but not by whom, or where. that's weirdness.

it's all too funny.

-- Modified on 8/22/2002 12:53:52 PM

Hum I see you guys have been bad here. Shame,Shame,Shame on all of you. Well just my 2ct.here I say you don't have to worry about who will be the first one to tell, but anyway all jokes aside.

I think it depend on the client and the provider attitude regarding respect of privacy and the relationship you two will establish living so close to each other.  I have two client that I vist that live right up the street from me. When the appointment was first set by both they did not know anything about where I lived and still don't,  but they do have an idea now that I live somewhat close to them in the area. I made it a point to let them know.

On many occassion I bump heads with most of my clients including those two out in pubic and there have not been any problem regarding privacy of how we know each other.  Most of my clients and I travel in the same circle so it is easy for me to carry a friendship in pubic on a professional business level.

I say respect her privacy for now and treat her like a lady. Reschedule the appointment if you have strong feeling about meeting her as a client for now. Become friends with her and eventually tell her that you are a hobbist. No need to hid what you two have in common because eventually she will find out and will loose respect for you. Fair is Fair. Do it in a private setting and I am sure she would respect your honesty and will become a wonderful friend.

I agree with MuchMaligned Only time will tell if you actually have a shot and asking for directions will sure get a smile and Also I agree with drollere, she's at the disadvantage -- she knows she's been "discovered" and is being "observed," the gal is grown up and an independent businesswoman. and also wooferdog
when a lady is not working, she's the same as anyone else except usually a whole lot nicer than most.

P.S The two guys that live close to me still see me. One was my first experience and send me business up to this day and the other one we chat on the phone and through email. He also invites me over from time to time for other fun activities.


-- Modified on 8/22/2002 3:03:33 PM

Fair enough...sincere apology extended. That wasn't what I was reading into what you wrote, but if it what you meant, then we are on the same page after all.

BTW...I am TOTALLY aware that I am an obonoxious, overbearing jerk. The problem is that I actually like myself this way....LOL!!!

Again though, straight up, I can see your point now, and I didn't quite get that perspective the first time. I sincerly apologize.

The balance of opinion, the give and take, the conflict and the humor are what make this fun.

I always appreciate it when you talk some sense into me.

I think it's time for me to move

Unless you're married (and you didn't indicate you were) then what's the problem?  You've got a chance to have a really cool neighbor, and if you use a little discretion, she may be equally happy to have someone next door who is "cool" about what she does.

You may feel more comfortable going elsewhere in the future, but cancelling without an explanation isn't nearly as effective as taking a bottle of wine next door and having a laugh over your shared confidence.  It may be too close for comfort, or it may turn into a great situation.  Go with the flow and enjoy what ever happens.

Ask her.  Seems to make things simple such as incall/outcall.  You would visit her more frequently and she may like it.

I agree with you wholeheartedly.  Anominity is a very good thing in this endeavor.  But there are many reasons besides $$$ that ladies are in this endeavor.  Yes, the gents have things to lose if it was made public what they do in their spare time, but the same can be said for the ladies.  Examples would be their children, their standing in their community, and their careers (yes, some have other careers, businesses, not to mention those working their way through school for some careers as doctors, attorney's, accountants, even other law fields).  These things have a way of having a lot of reprecussions for the ladies as well.  It is a two way street.

Lauren

Yes there is some houses available in the range of $130-$250.000. Since we want to be descreet and not let the neighbor know, I would enjoy stepping out every morning and late evening taking a dive in my pool teasing you, either nude or with my bathing suite on. I'm sure you would be preparing sneak over on a regular basic but just in case here are the rules.

The Pre-Booty Call Agreement
This pre-booty call Agreement (hereinafter referred to as "The Agreement") is entered into on this ____ day of _______, 20__, by_______________, (hereinafter referred to as the "Participant") This "Agreement" is between _______________________, (hereinafter referred to as the "Holder of 'The Agreement' ") and __________________ (Participant).

This Agreement shall cover the following rules and principles for the Participant:

      1. )  No sleeping over!! Unless it is very good and we need to repeat it in the morning.
      2. ) No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks before the events of the evening.
      3. ) No calls before 9 pm.  We don't have anything to talk about.
      4. ) None of that "lovemaking" stuff, only mind-blowing sex is allowed.
      5. ) No emotional discussions!! i.e. where are we heading with this? Do you love me?  The answer is "no," so don't even ask.
      6. ) No plans made in advance.  That is why you are called "the backup." Unless you are from out-of-town, then it's only a one-time advanced arrangement.
      7. ) All gifts accepted - money is always good.
      8. ) No baby talk- however dirty talk is encouraged.
      9. ) No asking for comparisons to former lovers...it's really none of your damn business.
      10.) No calling each other friends with privileges.  We are not friends, just sex buddies.
      11.) Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK.  Don't be offended, you mean no less to me than you did before.
      12.) No extra clothing!!  I don't want your ass leaving anything behind when you leave.
      13.) No falling asleep right after sex!!  It's over so get your ass up and go home.
      14.) Don't be offended if I don't ask if you enjoyed it.  I don't care.
      15.) You cannot borrow my car for any reason.
      16.) If any one of the opposite sex asks who you are, the standard response will be "My roommates girlfriend/boyfriend.
      17.) Doggie style preferred.  Just hit it hard and right or get the Hell out!! (Reason: The less eye contact the better.  I don't want to look at you.)
      18.) We are to hook up absolutely whenever the mood strikes me, so stop calling!
      19.) Bring your own drinks - I am not your liquor store.
      20.) No phone use, please! I don't want anyone calling back looking for your ass.

*Extra tip for successful booty calls: The Holder of the Agreement may only alter the aforementioned rules.  If the other party attempts to change or alter any terms of the Agreement, it will automatically become null and void.  The Participant will then be removed from the "Possible Future Relationship List" and given minimal Booty Call privileges, and cut off from any communications unless first initiated by the Holder of the Agreement.  If further violations of the Agreement occur the Participant will be deleted from phone memory, email list, and blocked from all communications until the Participant's silly ass understands all the rules.

Participant:                                            Holder of the "Agreement"
Signature:_________________                Signature:__________________
Date:_____________________                Date:______________________




-- Modified on 8/23/2002 6:17:52 AM

-- Modified on 8/23/2002 9:35:37 PM

Holly Sh!t  Good Grief.....
I would NOT see here at ALL. If she gets hard on her luck, why your there?
If her car breaks down your there to help again.
Motive Motive Motive...
She will know you have a schedule on her, that will make her nervous n gawd knows how she will react towards you..
I have seen one of my neighbors but he lives way on the other side of my complex
and I don't live nor sleep at my condo, only visit there periodically.
But if she lives there stay the hell away. Keep yourself out of trouble and out of
commitment.  
Enjoy knowing you have extra entertainment living beside you Stay private and hold on to your little secret.  And if you happen to be The single blonde living beside of me?  Come on over, Come on over, bay-bay I don't live there. And it wont bother me a bit. Not at allllllllll

Oh my god, this has to be one of the funniest things I've ever read!!!!!!!

And it's full of interesting little details about the *arrangement* that are just too cool.

If you don't re-post this as a new topic, I will.

You ROCK, Ms. Perfect!

riker

For the most replies to a post in history!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I tried to setup an appointment one day with one of SF's best, but when I called to confirm, she was stranded at home with a dead car battary. When talking, I told her I could meet her somewhere closer and I would pay the taxi bill. Long story short, she realised where I lived and 30 minutes later during our phone conversation, she invited me over...

Tension on my part was extremely high when I got there and she was also a little tense, but 20 minutes of getting to know each other later, and we REALLY hit it off.

The downside wasn't the "loose lips syndrome", it was the "Awe Factor"... In other words, if I would have known now what I do today, I would have cancelled my appointment and just been friends with her. (I know I would never of had a shot at marring her, etc., but she was the MOST unbelievable person I have every met - beautiful, funny and smart with lots of real business contacts in the computer industry. "Yes, we know a lot of the same people")

Don't get me wrong, the sex was great too, but I've blown the chances of getting to know her outside the profession. I see her all the time now in the area and we're really friendly, but the "once in a lifetime chance for more is now gone"...  

Or haven't you noticed the multitude of threads regarding politics where so many feel compelled to express their views over & over, while always changing the words but not the content?  Naturally, the ALWAYS are able to change the mind of those who intially had opposing viewpoints!!  Yeah, right.

as a result of the opposition repeating the same thing over and over again. Reason just gets better and better everytime you regurgitate it.

Yeah, right.

I agree with fortitude on this.  You are probably wise to not put your face on the internet.  However I think a provider is  more likely to be outed to the neighborhood by some young guy that actually saw her face on the internet than a hobbyist that who lived next door and had a date with her.  I believe most men don't tell their friends that they paid $$$ to sleep with the lady next door. Their friends would look down on them for this.  They also can't tell spouses, bosses, co-workers or people they supervise (especially females) that they spend money on this hobby.  I know in Los Angeles some of the people that post on the discussion board get together for drinks or dinner.  I think that is at least partially because they can't talk about the hobby with anyone else.  

I think a provider's greatest concern would be that the next door neighbor who dated her might become infatuated with her and begin to follow her around like some lost puppy.

Glad to see I'm not the only one turned completely off by that crap!!  It amazes me contantly how otherwise educated & intelligent people are so lacking in common sense to realize that there is no point in trying to change the mind of someone whose mind is already made up & fail to recognize when the horse is dead!

Think we ought to propose a 'political views' board?  Nah...the people I'm talking about wouldn't pay any attention anyway---as they seem to have some obsession about expressing their opinions everywhere...over & over & over!!  

Forget about seeing her.  I would not see a neighbor, and would be very uncomfortable if my neighbors knew about my work.  There are plenty of other women to see.  Make an appointment with one of them.

Just MHO.

I have no answer to the question asked at the top of the post
and I am a hobbiest, But this all reminds me of the time that
I took one of my children to a doctors appt with wife in tow,
as I was sitting across the waiting room I heard a  voice
speaking behind me, I turned around to find that a provider I
was very close to was who the voice belonged to, and I am glad
to say and I can laugh about it all now but you should have seen
the shocked look on our faces, as we both sat with our spouses,
luckly every thing turned out fine but wow what a shock to me
and the thoughts that went through my head at the time like
O.M.G.

and replying over and over and feeling like an idiot, myself.

Of course, now I'm just trying to keep the string alive since it's gotten so nice and long.

riker

Someone sent me the agreement in a private email. Of course I edit it a little bit for laughs. When I got it I had to laugh because it was perfect to add the humor on the board since you guys were bursting each other ego with pride and was having a cat fight. Well you can post this anyway you like sweetie, I like to see your version.

-- Modified on 8/25/2002 12:35:42 PM

-- Modified on 8/25/2002 12:47:45 PM