What are the most annoying and cringeworthy lines that you repeatedly see in reviews?  

"We fell into each other's arms like long-lost lovers."

"We made out like two teenagers."

-- Modified on 5/20/2024 4:35:01 AM

learned the difference between 'your" and "you're", even after I provided you a link to a free educational video on how to tell the difference.   Makes you look lame AF.  

It is very lame to troll and flame the few providers that post here on a regular basis.

One of my most annoying is...    

No necessary in reviews , but 500 “ roses” make me cringe . Or donation.  It’s  Fee, just a fee.  

It gets cringeworthy when reviews become an erotic story. I'm mostly trying to figure out if a provider looks like their photos, delivers as promised, and to understand their limits when it comes to certain activities. A general play by play can be helpful but things get weird when people are clearly creating jo material.

Yep, good one.  

was not 100% accurate and true?  Would you like a link to the post where I provided her the educational link?  

No, again, it is just you. You are the problem on this board. Just you.

Thanks for pointing out the obvious, 420!!!  
It is almost like there is someone on here that continues to post just to drive away the providers to make this board a sausage fest circle jerk. I wonder who that could be.....

Treat her right
Vips read on
Run don't walk

It's a rating for "Overall Looks" if you want to give her a 4 in the Looks department.
It was a simple question...

She came for the ____ time.

Agreed! I guess this is getting out of reviews and into the ads a bit, but still.  

It's a cliche/euphemism in the BDSM world (i.e. Queen Bia). It's their way to dignify the money they get for fucking/pissing on you/pegging your ass. And that's all it is.

It's like deja vu all over again.
11 years ago: http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion-boards/ter-general-board-12/re-treat-her-right-boys-591859
.
And again.
2 months ago: http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion-boards/ter-general-board-12/or-what-1019181
.
And others in between.

These links to the past are proof that the future isn’t what it used to be. Or something like that I don’t know.

Yeap.

Really?
You're a grown-ass man and you can't remember what happened while you were fucking a woman an hour or a day or a week ago?
Stop writing reviews until you check for early-onset Alzheimers.

-- Modified on 5/21/2024 5:51:02 AM

Nothing you said was wrong. You are correct about the usage of your and you're. The thing is I don't care. I'm not looking to hire professional writers, I'm looking to hire a provider. I'm here to get information about escorts and to avoid getting ripped off. I'm not here for some pedantic asshole prattle on about grammar. I know you aren't trying to help anyone, you're just trolling and trying to get under a providers skin. Its middle school behavior from an emotionally stunted John.

True enough. You’re right. Tribute is not exactly unique in that regard. “Roses” got started by idiots thinking it would keep them from getting arrested I believe. The rest of them are euphemisms to add dignity to whatever sex act is being done for money, BDSM or not, IMO.  

because it's a power dynamic inferring that they are superior to you.  It essentially says that, by taking your money, they are doing YOU a favor, and therefore they do not seem grateful for your business the way most providers are.  Regardless of whether you think this through like I have, I think it's going to rub most successful men who can afford to play in this arena the wrong way, even if it's only subconsciously.  

They don't "infer" anything. They imply it.
Naughty, naughty.

I believe you are missing the point as to why guys book a BDSM session with a dominatrix. Of course it is inferring a power dynamic, that is what the sub is paying for. Obviously you are not a sub and this is not a service from a provider you are interested in, so continuing to think about and comment on it is a waste of your brain power and a waste of everyone's time. Move on.

When QB (or anyone) comes on the board and starts using "tribute" as if we care. I suppose one could say, "It's only marketing," but certain people like to pretend they're royalty wherever they go and their shit don't stink.

This post is glorious.  

Well, should we be real anal here?  

I needed that.  I will consider myself chastened.  Lol

Then move on. If you don't like Bia then don't book her, same with me or any other provider. It IS marketing, and posting on here is FREE. Do you honestly think I post on this board just for funsies?

Honestly, none of these really bother me. Like, who cares? The only thing that bothers me is a useless or fake review. If it gets me what I need to know, then use all the cliche you want for all I care. Telling me to run not walk has no impact on me. Saying VIPs read on, no impact. Talking about your large dick or brilliant DATY skills, no impact. If I get what matters to me, the rest is just fodder.

"It's middle school behavior from an emotionally stunted John." That is the funniest thing I have read here...maybe ever? Thank you for that hysterical belly laugh!

Connotate or connote? Asking for a friend.

Although "connote" is preferred. From the Online Etymology Dictionary:
"connotate (v.)
"to signify secondarily," 1590s, from Medieval Latin connotatus, past participle of connotare "signify in addition to the main meaning," a term in logic (see connotation). It is now obsolete, replaced by connote."

Well, people do keep referring to all of this as a hobby.  

saying, "The thing is (should be a comma here) I don't care", and then you go on and on with your diatribe. Believe or not, this board has proliferated for years before you got here. Providers come and go, and it might surprise you have many of them I have seen along the way. Your arrogance in being here since February and calling people out for their content is laughable.  Don't get your panties in a bunch, babe.  You are quickly making yourself even more irrelevant.  

You seem to argue in every thread. Do you ever leave your basement? Instead of hijacking every single conversation with your tedious nonsense, why not get a life? Sorta pathetic how you turn every discussion into your personal battlefield.

And you are one of the main reasons that makes them "go."

When I said "I don't care" I was clearly talking about the difference between "your and you're" but you're a pedantic asshole who constantly misses the forest for the trees.

Reminds me of the old Earl Scheib commercials.,., look him up

Earl Scheib and Felix Chevrolet. Anyone who grew up in LA in the 60s will never forget those two.

And that guy is seriously hurt.

is name-calling?  That's a clear sign of surrender.  Awkward walk-back for someone who at least made it to the eighth grade.  Lol

Your lack of self awareness and delusion is entertaining. I do enjoy calling you names, it is a lot of fun.  

Earl Scheib STARTED in LA but he was big in NY, too!  
His philosophy was, "Work hard, be on time, and don't worry about how much you make." It was a belief that underscored the way he ran his business.
...
No Upselling! No bait-and-switch! He did his own TV commercials:
"I'm Earl Scheib, and I'll paint any car, any color for $29.95. No ups, no extras," became an instantly recognizable phrase.  
.
(Felix Chevrolet was LA. No Felix Chevrolet in NY.)
.
(NYC's Crazy Eddie's tag line -- "His prices are INSANE!!" -- could apply to TER from the low end ("No reviews. Is this too good to be true?") to the high end ("Stay away: GPS.").

I remember the Earl Scheib $19.95 paint job.
I got my old VW Bug painted for $29.95...back in the day
Then I went to Cal Worthington for a new car

-- Modified on 5/22/2024 8:45:11 PM

Cal Worthington? There is no Cal Worthington!!
UC System: Berkeley, San Diego, Los Angeles, Santa Barbara, San Francisco, Irvine, Davis, Riverside, Santa Cruz, Merced.
Cal State System: San Jose, Chico, SDSU, San Luis Obispo, ...  
.
There is no Cal Worthington!

The popular joke is that he'd easily beat the rap with an insanity defense.

television hucksters, Madman Muntz.  

BJ.

"She slipped it in without a condom, but I wasn't worried because I was the first appointment of the day."

I was guilty of the Penthouse effect when I started, I have tried to streamline since.

I think it’s sweet, and it makes me smile whenever a reviewer writes that.

or better yet, go ahead and do it... I love seeing Darwinism at work 😁

All ladies should be "treated right". It's a cliche at this point.

They said of Muntz TVs that he'd take a good design and start removing parts until it stopped working in order to get the cheapest TV.

His commercials were really cheesy.  

Agreed, the reason it's silly is because no client is sitting there thinking - oh yeah I'm gonna abuse this lady, clog her toilet and then take the donation with me before I leave"...BUT when we they read the "treat her right" in the review they must think "ahhhh ok yeah I should probably be a gentleman."

from guys who think being the first customer of the day is any different than coming later in the day.  Many providers have real life boyfriends, who have sex with them in the mornings before they start work without a condom BEFPORE she sees her first customer.  Having been an outside real life boyfriend to several providers over the years, it's always amusing when guys like this are advising others that it's completely safe if you are the girl's first appointment of the day.  From a boyfriend's POV, I would never have a provider as a real-life girlfriend who has BBFS on her menu.  

This is quite laughable because when I was married there were times that we would have sex before bedtime and the spunk goo ball did not come out right away, but the next morning would slop out while I was sitting at my desk at work. Sometimes it comes out all right away, sometimes the gunk could take 12+ hours to make it way down to soak my panties at work as I am sipping my morning coffee.  
I take a shower after every client and always use condoms so rather a moot point with me anyway, but this is kind of like the old wives tale that the more sex a woman has the more loose her vagina will be. The vagina is a muscle and gets tighter and stronger with use, just like any other muscle. Genetics and childbirth affect the elasticity of a vagina, not a dick.  
In closing if you are ever having sex without a condom and there is a very good chance the provider in question had sex with someone else within 24 hours or so without a condom it is very, very likely you are going to get his dick vomit on your one eyed snake. The "first morning" client notion that you will be cleaner or safer is hogwash cabbage head nonsense. Use a condom. Every time.

Honestly, nothing about that makes sense.  I hate it. Sounds like some medieval scribe.

"The first cup was served"

There's so many but my two hated ones are "tossed her salad" and  all the variations of "I dreamed about.....".
What the hell could that possibly be for? Trying to avoid prosecution?? Whatever.