I didn't think the friendzone would extend to p4p.  You learn something new every day.

On the plus side it proves they really are friends and not just marks -- on the negative side, it robs them of the one thing they all want -- to be physically intimate.

What a twisty world we live in.

In this case I had dated two of her very good friends (one rather seriously) I was friends with most of her friends, knew all of their real names, birthdays etc and she just really felt uncomfortable fucking me for money. She did leave the door open to actual dating, but I knew I would fuck that up so we decided to stay "friends"  

 
Full disclosure here, I have a LOT of "Hooker buddies" that I don't have sex with. I have no issues with this at all.

That is friendship time, not GFE time.  No touching, no kissing, no HJ under the table at Denny's...save that for paid GFE time.  No problem at all for me.

The thing I won't do is have sex with a woman that answers the phone at an agency.  There have been a few agencies from time to time where that was possible, but I did not partake.

I've had a number of women place me in "the friend zone" that I would have been interested in taking things to the next level. It's tough to accept when those feelings aren't reciprocal, but I've learned to accept it and either keep it in the friend zone or move on.

In p4p? Never experienced that myself, but have gotten close a time or two. She has either recognized the potential for disaster before I did and called it off, or we just stopped seeing one another in any capacity.  

Sometimes, things just don't work out the way we'd like them to -- you can either accept it and get beyond it, or stew for a long time in those "what might have been" blues, and that's not a good place.

Don't Worry, Be Happy 😚

Stranger  things have happened.  💋💋

I think I can explain the friendzone.  It seems irrational at first ... willing to fuck a stranger for money yet unwilling to fuck a friend for any price.  

The reason is insecurity.  If you have a friend how do you know they are friends and not exploiters?  They have to pay a price to be friends.   So the friendzone is a constant test zone to prove you are friends and not just anyone looking for a lay.  

I think the more secure you are in your own self the smaller your friendzone test zone is.

... and it can really fuck up the sexual chemistry. But sometimes it enhances it by having a deep trust. It can be a slippery slope for me (innuendo intended )

In the best cases, of which I have a few, we become friends often talking on the phone and going on play-dates like to a movie, or just relaxing at each others' homes.    

 
Sometimes a gal decides we can no longer be client/provider, but not too often.

 
Sometimes there's a blow up, such is life.

 
One thing for sure is that I insist any sexual activity be paid for.   That is one of the best means to avoid recriminations, etc.

Yes

I have quite a few clients that have become really good friends and we seem to fuck even better than not being friends. I have also become friends that ended up just that.... just friends.  It's ALL good either way for me because one can never have to many real friends.  
XOXO  
TL

I have had both happen

I feel like the closer that I've gotten with some clients the harder it is to continue to keep them as clients, and I've also "fired" a few for being better as friends too.  I'll always provide them the best references though.

We are on each other's FB pages, I've been out to IHOP with one of them and her children. Totally, friendship zone Then later that week we go to a strip club, get each of us lap dances and go to her incall for a turned on paid session. Freaking awesome. We both seem to be able to separate it. It's actually better that we keep the paid sex in the mix, so we don't get too emotionally attached in our friendship.  

That one does have a few other guys, who were clients, as friends. They don't want to fuck.

It's the same with an old civie friend, we have been friends for about 10 years. About a year ago, she flirted with me and we decided to have an NSA fling. It's really cool. We both are not looking for a live in or committed relationship. We just fuck each other silly, for the fun. And then we are still friends.  

It helps that I don't live in the same city as any of those ladies.  

The other p4p lady that is my friend has a different situation. She has a husband, who I thank for lending me his beautiful wife. I go to social situations with her and sometimes both of them. She started in p4p because they were swinging and she wasn't getting satisfied and wanted more variety. I've done paid and unpaid sessions with her and leave that totally up to her. It doesn't bother me either way.  

I think it's just a personality thing. There's no right or wrong. I have several women friends that sex is definitely not on the table at all.

Several of the women are still active in P4P but we don't have a sexual relationship, paid or OTC.  We stay in touch, offer each other advice, have dinner, etc.

I've always tried to be a good friend both in the hobby and IRL.
Few months ago a local favorite was being stalked and seriously harassed.  
He'd been a client previously so he knew where she lived, her real name and even met her daughters.
She was scared to death.
I got involved.  
Her problem went away.  
During the period we were besties.  
As soon as the issue was resolved it was like she didn't know me.
From now on friends are friends and while I truly and genuinely like the girls I see I'm going to keep it all separate.

I have a pretty full civvie life that is separate from my provider life.  
Yep, I have 'fallen' for a few special hobbyists and I get along like old friends with a lot of my hobby friends. Actually, I think I can say I truly love some of the guys. (If this was another world, I'd want them all to myself- Ha Ha Ha )
But most married/attached hobbyists pay us to have fun and and not get into their lives. I don't know, something makes me think that a friendship outside paid time would be at the guy's convenience. Or due to an emotional attachment that could destroy their own civvie life. The smart husband has a hooker not an affair.
The only thing I know is what I do myself to avoid drama for myself and my guys.  Chit chat on the phone once in awhile - sure I like to hear from you and know how you are doing. I always do wonder and think about you. Beyond that it's gotta be on the clock....eh, sometimes the clock has more then 60 minutes to an hour but still.....
I agree, once in the friend zone I'd have to stop the nooky nooky.

Hobby friendship are great when there is an understanding. Gotta be mature though.

I have one whom I chat with, but we don't chill outside of appointments,  but we care about how one another are doing.

Do the guys still want to fuck You?

I have become friends with 1 provider I see. We call our relationship  "friends with paid benefits".  It isn't hard as long as both have that understanding.

It is probably where I'm coming from but.... if I became friends with a provider I would stop seeing her as a provider.  That is just me but as soon as I start caring about her personal life it is a danger zone for me.   I know that sounds harsh but I've been burned and I'm not interested in being burned again.  I don't even like GFE for that reason, I don't want to kiss and even pretend there is a relationship other than the sex

Would be cool to have a friend with benefits but it could quickly get complicated.

Have two good lady friend in this hobby.A few things changed but the  business part of the hobby still remains the same ,and  it works for us.

Obviously, this depends on your personality. I have many providers who I consider friends. Two are very close friends in fact. We still have P4P on a regular basis. We hang out beyond the dates and draw the lines very strictly.  So long as I never ask for freebies, and I don't, I am sure we will remain good friends. One young lady went from escort, to good friend / escort,  to just good friend, to getting married. I even met her husband. She and I keep our little secret and I wish her well. Like I said, it all depends on your personality.

Going on six years ago. done a double with a Lady and we have became great friends. On and of the clock It has never  caused any problems . I think I've read if your friends for seven years you'll always be friends!

...In the past eight years I have had three different ATF's that I shared Many sessions with & i attempted to cultivate friendships with, for different reasons it just never worked out. All three are now retired & do not answer their provider E-mails. I have been under the belief that with providers the friendship taboo was an unwritten role.

I consider my regulars friends but I am not going to start hanging out with them for free, Its a mutually beneficial relationship and I feel like I cannhave both friendship and financial support. win/win in my book

Saw an matched her on tinder a knew she was a provider.  Never met because of timing. See she's in my area 6 months later. Walked in an she thought she knew me but told her we matched on tinder. We laughed about it an proceeded with the session.  I told her next time she's in town we should get a bite or drink before or after a session. She said I had a choice. See her as a client or friend. I chose friend.  Most times she's in town we get a bite, hangout an end up massaging each other each time. And each time becomes a lil more intimate. Good friends n fun times.  

Great topic Mo.  I gotta admit I've struggled with this with my ATF.  We've become great friends and text every so often just checking in on each other between visits.  She's a beautiful person inside and out and I could really see myself being with her in the civvie world.  We can laugh and talk for hours before our session even starts.  BUT I understand the reality of the situation and keep my cool and just be respectful of our time so it doesn't get awkward.  You can meet some great people in the hobby and she's one of the best.  I'm just blessed to have her as a friend and I try to make sure I don't do anything to fuck that up.