This is just an odd question. i know which of my cousins are providers and which aren't. And before you ask, no, there are no family discounts.
What if you had an ATF that you had been with many times. Later on you get a family reunion book and find out your ATF is your cousin. Would you continue seeing her ?
My hillbilly family says jokingly:
"If you cain't keep it inyer pants, keepit in th' family"
(that's so wrong, funny maybe, but still wrong)
(She's over 18, right?)
Besides, If your wearing a rubber, it's not like your going to concieve a retard! And that's the whole reason that it's wrong to breed with your relation!
-- Modified on 2/2/2006 5:35:37 PM
Leviticus 18:6-23
Unlawful Sexual Relations:
6 " 'No one is to approach any close relative to have sexual relations. I am the LORD.
7 " 'Do not dishonor your father by having sexual relations with your mother. She is your mother; do not have relations with her.
8 " 'Do not have sexual relations with your father's wife; that would dishonor your father.
9 " 'Do not have sexual relations with your sister, either your father's daughter or your mother's daughter, whether she was born in the same home or elsewhere.
10 " 'Do not have sexual relations with your son's daughter or your daughter's daughter; that would dishonor you.
11 " 'Do not have sexual relations with the daughter of your father's wife, born to your father; she is your sister.
12 " 'Do not have sexual relations with your father's sister; she is your father's close relative.
13 " 'Do not have sexual relations with your mother's sister, because she is your mother's close relative.
14 " 'Do not dishonor your father's brother by approaching his wife to have sexual relations; she is your aunt.
15 " 'Do not have sexual relations with your daughter-in-law. She is your son's wife; do not have relations with her.
16 " 'Do not have sexual relations with your brother's wife; that would dishonor your brother.
17 " 'Do not have sexual relations with both a woman and her daughter. Do not have sexual relations with either her son's daughter or her daughter's daughter; they are her close relatives. That is wickedness.
18 " 'Do not take your wife's sister as a rival wife and have sexual relations with her while your wife is living.
19 " 'Do not approach a woman to have sexual relations during the uncleanness of her monthly period.
20 " 'Do not have sexual relations with your neighbor's wife and defile yourself with her.
21 " 'Do not give any of your children to be sacrificed [a] to Molech, for you must not profane the name of your God. I am the LORD.
22 " 'Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable.
23 " 'Do not have sexual relations with an animal and defile yourself with it. A woman must not present herself to an animal to have sexual relations with it; that is a perversion.
Your honor,this y'ere divorce is gonna be over in jes' a few minutes an' I have one question: "When I'm a single man agin, will my ex- wife still be my sister?
if the issue from that terminated marriage continue to be his sons and daughters, or now become only his neices and nephews?
Gee, ain't it easier just to tell us outright who it's OK to do?
Yeah, but Green Eggs and Ham says. . .
I do not like green eggs and ham, I do not like them Sam I Am!
What's your point? It's all make believe!
If it were not written as Levitical law, then it wouldn't have become part of our moral code today. If you believe the Bible or not is irrelevant to the point, the point is; That this scripture is the reason we THINK it is wrong to fuck relation! If your going to cast off the restraints of Biblical codes of conduct, then cast them ALL off! Don't just pick and choose!
James 2:10
"For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it."
Ye must do as I as I say, because *I* have the general power of attorney for God the Father, Son and Holy Ghost; and only *I* may interpret the Word of God; and *I* will tell you how to spend the worlds money, and fuck the world's babes, and I'm fairly well armed and more than a little mean, too.
But you knew all that. You know that there is no fucking sense is citing authority that is not mutually accepted (except of course by all the various televangelist cons), and you know that your citation completely defies all common sense, but you thought you'd just put it out there to see if somebody would roll over.
Pound sand up your ass, pal. You're no different that Jimmy Swaggart, because you're pushing shit in an attempt to fuck people, and lying about it, just like him and all the rest of them. You pull shit like this, and then wonder why people hate you - because you are emotionally clueless. Your claim that God told you to do something is not gonna get you off of anything, anymore than the voices in the head of any schizo will get them off.
Bibleman, your ass. Try some honest work for a living. Grab a couple hair shirts and start doing penance for all the hatred and pain you have caused, asshole.
You see, offerings have been down lately, and the budget is tight, so I haven't been able to dip my hand into the offering plate as often as in the past. This has severely hampered my ability to enjoy this hobby, I've had to cut back to seeing only 1 or 2 providers a month!
At first I thought I'd try the direct approach, by recruting providers as parishioners, thereby being able to recieve charitable donations of sexual pleasuring directly from the source. But that plan failed, it seems that once they sat under my fine teaching and biblical instruction, they no longer were able to provide services and settled down in marrage. Now what am I to do?
As for you, the Bible and it's laws aren't for everyone, if you choose not to believe them or follow and obey, that is your right as a creature of free will! I have no plans to stop you or attempt to alter the course of your life. The Bible and it's instruction are a free gift and everyone is free to say "no thank you" to the gift.
So, since you have no intrest in the laws of God, they has no power over you. And since it is the basis for the moral restriction of not having sexual relations with your sister or cousin, (which it was long before the medical reasons for not doing it were known) You are FREE to fuck your sister! So please continue fucking her just as you were before I brought the Bible up! Clearly your not the first generation in your family to do this! Clearly you're a product of incest! That would explain your low IQ, your inability to reason and make an articulate argument, plus it also explains your oversized and crooked teeth!
the real thing
I just have a slightly different "twist" on Scripture. Rather than smacking people over the head with a Bible in order to point out their obvious sinful flaws, I'd rather rub a little lube on the leather bound book and cram it up their ass! (as long as it can be included in the marketplace of ideas, along side of everything else, then our freedoms are intact, but when the Bible is rejected and excluded, labeled as "hate speech" or even banned, then it is clear that those who set out in the 60's to "liberate" us have actually now become the very thing they were fighting!)
Long live the freedom to challenge and disagree!
*I'm* the one who determines the laws of God. The rest of you assholes are fraudulent, scum sucking blasphemers.
cuz there aint no funny bonez in my whole damn body, either.
Sounds to me like ol' Alfredo was fiddled by a priest as a youngin'.
they just take money under false pretenses, and that pisses me off.
And I wouldn't mind 86ing at the same time the injuctions re :
1. worshiping false idols;
2. honoring mon and pop;
3. comitting murder;
4. coveting my neighbors' wife and ass [sometimes one and the same];
5. bearing false witwess [pretty much puts Everyone on this board out of business].
These old superstitions are sure putting a serious crimp in my life.
Bible Man, what in tarnation are you doing Hobbying with Providers with in the first place?
Keep it in the family, YEAH I have a couple sister in laws I would love to keep it in, OH YEAH!
Besides, just because I'm "BIBLE † MAN", I never said I was a priest! I was a bit too non-conforming to make it through seminary, also I find this hobby more Biblically excusable than playing grab-ass with alter boys!
I missed the part about cousins! I guess "the LORD" is OK with that! Also, no statement about the degree of cousinhood--Only first cousins are illegal--after that, you are on your own!
This is just an odd question. i know which of my cousins are providers and which aren't. And before you ask, no, there are no family discounts.
...an aunt, not a cousin, but she wasn't related by blood. Dad's brother's wife. We still kid about it at family reunions. 
-- Modified on 2/2/2006 10:08:04 PM
Did you do her?
If a couple divorces in Arkansas, are they still first cousins? MA
Genetic problems exacerbated by inbreeding were the impetus for laws concerning incest. Modern birth control makes this concern moot.
It turns out that from a mathematical point of view, first cousins only have a 12.5% chance of having the same genes. The jeopardy of inbreeding comes when two recessive traits come together in the same parents. Believe it or not, the odds are similar for matching up recessive genes from a total stranger.
Also, whether or not a first cousin is considered incest is highly culturally based. In many European countries, it is acceptable for first cousins to marry.
Now when it gets to second and third cousins. I believe even the Catholic church has no prohibition against that.
all the Brady brothers can start tap'n the Brady sisters and Pat Robertson can keep his GD proselytizing yap shut.