with people I wouldn't have otherwise been drawn to, and I go can't imagine how boring life would be if I never ventured beyond my family and work mates.  

 
In the final analysis, these relationships and the influences they have had on me are the best results of my outre life.

Even  just on the most superficial level, before I started this thing of ours (as a guy on another board used to call it years ago), I had been with only a handful of women and saw myself as kind of a loser and a mope sexually. Now, I can't come close to some guys' numbers, but I've had experiences with a lot more women of more sizes, shapes, colors, and personalities and preferences than I would have otherwise, and more than most men as far as that goes. And most of them liked me enough--or were kind enough or good enough at acting--to leave me feeling like I'm maybe not so bad after all.

That sounds as if I just care about racking up the numbers. I won't deny that matters, especially for a guy, especially when you were a nerdy late-late bloomer like I was. But it's more than that. I've learned a little or a lot from many of the providers I've been with, even if it was just one hour, and I'm much more adventurous sexually and much more aware of the varied potentials for pleasure than I used to be. And, I think, a much better lover.

It's also kind of broadened my perspective on life generally. I was really nervous my first steps into p4p, felt like I was crossing a big threshold into a whole other kind of world, crossing some dire kind of moral and psychological line. Now that seems silly. We're just people. We're just doing business and having relationships. Different kinds of relationships than I was used to, but nothing weird or alien, nothing creepy or twisted. (Unless of course we mutually want to get twisted, heh heh heh.) It's made me less fearful, less judgmental, more accepting and ready to try something new.

Providers so my experiences are not as broad as a lot of people on the Board. I would say that probably 80% of the providers gave me good or better than average service and there was only one that I feel that if we met under different circumstances that we may have been compatible.  The thing I learned is there is a great variance between the providers from a highly educated world traveler to a high school drop out. A couple of providers either stole or tried to steal money from me.  One provider did have cystic fibrosis and probably only has about ten years or so to live. I feel bad for her. Another provider that I saw in a relationship was recently arrested for distribution of heroin, so hopefully she will be going to prison.  Anyway, with the current LE situation in Atlanta I am migrating away from this and moving over to the sugar bowl. Interesting topic.

I couldn't gave said it much better, Wink

Over all, its been,  and Is,  A Good Experience..Especially in Viva Las Vegas !!  Xoxo

facets of life. I have a much more worldly few of things from various viewpoints. I have been able to do some things that I only had read about (for example, FMF) previously. My who life has been counted backwards, meaning I think and act like a guy 20 years my junior. Age is just a number and I feel as if I have been given a new life.

Thank you to all the ladies who have blessed me with their company.  

Good post!

Now that I'm retired I just try not to think of the amount of money I've spent over the years and what I could be doing with it right now.

I would only rate about 10 percent of the experiences I've had as worth it. The rest I would have been better off jacking off and saving the money.

Just my honest opinion.

I have gotten to meet people I never would have met otherwise.
Not to mention the sex.

Until about three years ago, it had been many years since I worked as a bouncer in a legal brothel , so I didn't have a moral problem with p4p. I got into p4p as a client again  as my second marriage was ending. I hadn't had regular sex for several years.

There are many things that being involved in this has done for me. Firstly, getting to have some of the best sex that I have ever had and doing sexual activities that I had never done before. I have found things that I didn't know whether I would enjoy by being shown by experts at those activities.

Secondly, being able to be honest about sex, has made it easier to be honest in my other relationships.

Third, because my sexual needs are being met, I have been able to make better friendships with civie women, because I'm not on the hunt . Which has led to some wonderful NSA play dates.

Fourth, it's helped me recognize the futility of jealousy. Because I don't have fear of losing anything, I have no reason to react badly to someone enjoying themselves. That carries into the rest of my relationships.

There are many more benefits to this.  It is really a great way to live my life.

Thanks.

-- Modified on 8/25/2017 8:54:12 AM

I think of that poem by Charles Bukowski about his days in a nursing home and these lines:

and lovely women walk by  
with big hot hips  
and warm buttocks and tight hot everything  
praying to be loved  
and I don’t even  
exist…

…there I am sitting upright in my wheelchair,  
myself whiter than this sheet of paper,  
bloodless,  
brain gone, gamble gone…

In a lot of scenarios in growing old, beautiful women (usually younger and in their prime, or at least the attractive ones) stop recognizing you physically, you’re just some old guy and maybe a nuisance when you hit on them (dirty old man comes to mind). But if they do want to be around you, it most likely the money and how you treat them (particularly if you’re twice their age) to get to the sex. But what happens if you’re older and don’t have the money and the lifestyle that they’d be attracted to? Then you’re up the creek without a paddle to gain any forward momentum to that desired state. However getting old and incapacitated, as depicted in the above poem, is the worse; especially when those desires could have been fulfilled when able, but the effort was never made. It’s like, you blew your chance—and it was just wishful thinking. (Charlie Brown never got to kick the football.)

Like many men, some getting up in age, I didn’t have a lot of discretionary income, and even today I have nothing to offer a woman as in providing them with security and nice things. So, mustering up a donation and doing my research, then seeing the so few providers that I have patronized (one I have seen twice; she was so worthwhile and skilled) made a difference. I certainly did not want to go to my grave without indulging in this pleasure, which has given meaning to my existence.

-- Modified on 8/26/2017 10:59:54 AM