So i'm rather new to all this. Had met a very nice Provider, visited a handful of times, and it was GREAT. There was a dinner, even the mention about a possible "regular arrangement" or possible travel. Than it happened.
I'm going out of town, thought i'd have a new experience. So I texted this "new gal" asking if she minded if I listed her as a possible reference to see another SW.
She gets VERY upset with me, almost indignant?? Says why am I spending money on other gals, after asking her about a regular thing? She is really pissed, and it wasn't ended well?
I feel HORRIBLE, did I do something wrong here? Thought I was being considerate asking about the reference beforehand. I really like this girl ALOT, but now wondering if she is a headcase? Tried to call to smooth things out but she didn't want to talk about it?? HELP, any input is appreciated here.
and move on. It looks like you are most likely
getting a true understanding of this gals personality.
Did you guys come to a FINAL agreement on an arrangement?
It didn't look like it to me.. just my 2 cents.
No, never really had any serious discussion about an arrangement. So disappointed at how this transpired, not a clue what brought it on, or how to address it?
Just chalk it up to BSC and move on.
OR, have a sincere, heart to heart conversation with her about her expectations for the two of you, and then chalk it up to BSC and move on after she unloads on you again. lol
thanks for the input...ok BSC ????? definition?
The hobby is meant to be drama free. She sounds a bit to possessive. The real GFE experience! LOL! My clients are only my temporary boyfriends, free to see who they want and usually come back
. I would run, not walk.
You mean real "Overly Attached Girlfriend" experience?
Link Relevant
Angelina she is not ready to be a true participant in this world because she hasn't mastered the art of compartmentalization.
The hobby is meant to be drama free. She sounds a bit to possessive. The real GFE experience! LOL! My clients are only my temporary boyfriends, free to see who they want and usually come back
. I would run, not walk.Maybe she is just a greedy ho who want's ALL of his cookie money?
That is a LOT more likely than her actually having any feelings for him.
I am assuming that you didn't complain over and over again to her as you saw her more often about how much it was costing to see her. That being said… I have to agree with Angelina this is the true gfe experience! She sounds too possessive or is sleeping over the line… If you truly like her, chat with her about it. Communication is always the sexiest part and was difficult of a relationship. Otherwise if your version of the hobby is different than hers, I agree with your advice so far move on
Thanks so much for the reply. Yes, I really do like her, and feel just awful about it. Didn't have a clue she would get upset, and now, not a clue as how to "mend fences" Would like to continue seeing her, but not at the cost of more drama? And no, never complained about anything, was honest and above board with everything??
Seriously? no client belongs to anyone in particular... Just like providers who have a favorite client in different cities it's should be vise versa!!! She'll get over it once she's in need of funds!!! Smh!!! Oh the life in Hookerville
you are a frequent regular and the provider agrees to OTC time in the form of dinner or some other outside activity, the mere fact that you're not paying for the time, even though sex is not involved, seemed to lead one or both parties to believe its suddenly become a RL relationship, giving you each the same expectations and responsibilities as if you had formally "committed" to be exclusive with each other. 90% of the time, its a love-struck hobbyist that misconstrues the relationship to be more than what it is, but its not unheard of for a slightly unbalanced provider to assume things as well.
You handled everything in an aboveboard and gentlemanly way, and it appears from your narrative that whatever issues there are as a result are her baggage, not yours. Best to move on. If you stay, the drama will only increase.
If you are bringing this public, you most likely might be coming here to prove a point to the girl. Which means you might be a little attached. Are you in love with her? If you're not attached you would just say buh bye
Men do this kind of stuff too. There is nothing more annoying than a dude who is seeing a chick behind his wife's back promising to be faithful. Especially after he has tasted so many different escorts. Did you say this to her? You don't have to answer this, but just think about some things you've said in the moment to her that might have given her the wrong impression.
Especially if you are asking her to be monogamous and she is doing more favors for you because of the security of monogamy. And especially if she is not seeing others, or cutting down her client base to cater more to you. That can be a huge financial cut.
I don't think a business woman should put all of her eggs in one basket, and should always be searching for more opportunities. Otherwise things like this happen.
The same goes for hobbyists. Sure, you don't have a financial need, but you do have another need, and I'm not talking sex. I'm talking ego. How much time off the clock has she been spending on you with emails, public attention, thanking you for gifts, talking to you on the phone, making sure you're appreciated every day, etc.
This is her tossing all or most of her attention your way, expecting you to toss all or most of your hobby money her way.
You both lose opportunities in this case. She loses opportunities to stroke and boost the egos of other men so they come back to her regularly, since she's got to make you number one. You lose variety, except for once in a while.
You both lose some freedom. If you want most of her attention, she is going to want most of your money. It's just going to be expected. We just don't have the entire story or context here.
Jealousy is never good on either side but don't be surprised when it happens. Sometimes it's not so much jealousy as much as it is people feel owed after giving something for free. Sucks, but it is what it is.
a new acronym for our hobby, the "jealous girlfriend experience" . . . .JGE or JGFE? You pick. Love it.
-- Modified on 6/7/2017 10:40:38 AM
OMG I have to add this option to my website... I'll check their social media constantly and after they leave the session I can text them incessantly wondering why I never see them. The climax will be the huge fight we have leading to make up sex lmfao...
love it, thanks for the reply
Best to put her in your rear view mirror.
By the way, "SW" often refers to "street walker". When referring to gals like we generally see her on TER, best to use the term provider or escort.
thanks for the acronym tip
You did it the right way, asking her first before emailing the other Sex Worker. If that is her reaction, it's best to move on.
I've noticed that there are a few providers that like to act stingy, like they own a client. The fact of the matter is men like a variety and if you're out of town and travelling, you're entitled to have company. As a provider, you can not hate on that, that's just plain selfish! In this business you need to learn how to share. I can't tell you how many times I've sent out a reference request and received a reply of they don't remember that client and when I let the client know, they find it rather funny as they've seen the provider multiple times, but now the provider is all of a sudden clueless. I've even had providers that I know have read my reference requests and just flat out ignored the message and don't reply. They are obviously not confident enough in their own skin and are threatened about loosing business. If she cared to have you as a client it should never have escalated to her hating on you seeing someone else and having to defend yourself about it. Are you in some sort of binding contractual agreement with her? No! You're allowed to see who you'd like, when you'd like. Period. You shouldn't have to feel bad about asking. As far as I'm concerned, you were courteous enough to even give her a heads up and not blind side her.
Thanks so much for the reply. Well, that's what I thought too, but I tried to search my memory to try and recall if there was anything I had done or said to indicate that it was going to be an exclusive sort of thing?? Nothing came to mind? I do feel badly, as I do like her a lot, and was hoping to spend more time with her, but don't need/want the drama.
You're welcome Hun! It supposed to be all fun and games...No Drama!
So they try to pretend the provider is jealous. This should be a fetish.
A couple of steps to avoid this. Don't email her every day. Don't contact her on social media and reply to all of her stuff and her clients 50 times per day to show off that you are her ATF or big money client.
Don't ask for her real info. Don't barge into her personal life. You may care but it does help you to compartmentalize.
If you want people to remain professional stay out of their personal life. I think doing these things will help you communicate the boundaries without having to say anything. Might be too late with this one, but FFR try to ease up on worrying about your importance in her life. And never expect yourself to be someone's sole supporter. They should not expect you to be either. They're only fucking themselves over.
-- Modified on 6/7/2017 5:11:36 PM
because with ZERO evidence you seem convinced this guy brought this nut job down on himself through something HE did.
She is the one getting jealous because he wants to see another hooker, he seems pretty level headed about the whole thing and just seems rightfully confused that a professional is acting anything but.
So NewYork NewYork, would we be "surprised" to find out who you really are behind that alias, or would we simply think to ourselves "that figures" if we were to find out your true identity?
News flash girl, "some" hookers really do go BSC with jealousy, either real emotional jealousy or the jealousy of simple greed not wanting "her money" to go into the pocket of some other ho. You trying to blame the guy every time is not going to change that little fact of life.
definitely want to give some thought to what might help the guy in the future. Jealousy on either side can be bad. There are ways to avoid too much attachment on either end.
-- Modified on 6/7/2017 10:44:07 PM
Thanks so much for the input, and support, its appreciated...Steve
But their jealousy is none of my business.
I promise, there are more ladies out there...too many to stress over one...when it's hundreds out there.
Though it sounds like you are a bit attached. Seriously, most hobbyist would have just moved on without a second thought.
Happy hobbying ....keyword "happy".
Thanks for the input. Unfortunately not hundreds close to me. Yes, probably got a little "attached", my way as I look for a deeper connection if it is to be found. Bad call here I guess.
You'll find someone else you'll enjoy just as much, if not more. And they will allow you freedom. Control is no good. Not here, not anywhere. It can get confusing, but just like anything in life, when one door closes, another one opens.
Hard to do but let it go. If you see the first signs it usually doesn't stop there. Where there's smoke, there could be fire.
Finding great providers that you connect with might take a while, but when you do find a great one, you'll be glad. You don't want to feel trapped, especially not here. There are tons of providers who won't do that to you.
My suggestions are to be careful next time to avoid anything you might have done to possibly give the idea that you are want anything monogamous. But some people see what they want to see. Looks like this one saw things that didn't exist. Seriously I would move on if I were you. She might not be as terrible as people say, but it doesn't sound like this could go in a good direction. You'll be fine over time.
Thanks so much for your thoughts and insight.
I had a recent provider who was very upset I used her as a reference. I had paid her nearly $3,000 for two events and yet she was pissed because she was one of a number SPs so felt that she could not give me a reference because I never took her on a one on one date. I still do not get it.
What kind of events are worth that kind of bread yet don't included any one on one time?
Mr Fisher,
The first event was a cougar hunt in a local lounge so it was organized by a provider. I got to fuck both of them that night but since I did not book her she did not feel it was right for her to give me a reference.
The second event was with myself and 4 providers and once again another provider invited her to join in. So once again it was not my calling her so she felt she could not give me a reference.
I still do not get it as to why she will not allow me to use her as a reference. I guess she just has nothing good to say about me. I guess I should be thankful.
Dickson
Wow, I understand getting semi attached as a provider. I think if all providers are honest they do have their favorites. But here is the problem that some girls don't give references. Which sucks for other providers, but I think what bothers me is when you ask for a reference and the girl calls and offers a special to keep the client coming to her. It's tacky and disrespectful to us and you. I think you need to move on from her you will connect with another provider and she's being overly dramatic and frankly rude. Which leads me to believe that she's not shall we say making a consistent living and counts heavily on you. If she is not willing to discuss it than it's going to become more crazy! I bet she is trying to punish you but will in a couple weeks if you are persistent in contacting her she will say she forgives you. But she's probably going to want more money to make it up to her! So I think you should cut your losses and move on.
Thanks for the thoughts, its appreciated.
Yes, I can relate. I had an SP I would see on regular bases. I would fly in and I would pay her rate but she would tell me she had to give up a regular date and I started to pay her for the date she gave up to see me. I did it once or twice as I felt bad her giving up an hour date with a regular so she would see me for a dinner date or an overnight. Once I did it a few times it became a regular occurrence. So, my dear, I can relate.
She just doesn't want you taking your bankroll to someone else.
I'm in Salt Lake if you were referring to me!!!!
xoxox
Nikki
Some ladies Love to hear this.
They know they can feed you what they want
and get away with it.
And lookie here: "I feel HORRIBLE, did I do something wrong here? "
Yes -you did. You dared to give HER MONEY to someone else.
So, do you enjoy being dominated by a powerful female
or do you want to swing your dick Freely in a sea of lovely pussy?
It's your life.
Thanks for your insight, its appreciated...Steve
....she sounds nuts. Be glad she finally showed how she is before you got into anything more regular with her.
Why is it a question IF she's a headcase? CLEARLY she is.
So i'm rather new to all this. Had met a very nice Provider, visited a handful of times, and it was GREAT. There was a dinner, even the mention about a possible "regular arrangement" or possible travel. Than it happened.
I'm going out of town, thought i'd have a new experience. So I texted this "new gal" asking if she minded if I listed her as a possible reference to see another SW.
She gets VERY upset with me, almost indignant?? Says why am I spending money on other gals, after asking her about a regular thing? She is really pissed, and it wasn't ended well?
I feel HORRIBLE, did I do something wrong here? Thought I was being considerate asking about the reference beforehand. I really like this girl ALOT, but now wondering if she is a headcase? Tried to call to smooth things out but she didn't want to talk about it?? HELP, any input is appreciated here.
The irony is clearly lost on her, so at the very least she has a catastrophic lack of self awareness.
The irony is clearly lost on her, so at the very least she has a catastrophic lack of self awareness.