Chemistry is a branch of physics, actually. It has primarily to do with the way people interact with one another. It is about emotions in the real world, and as you say in the P4P world it's about emotions on the client's part, at least. But even if the provider secretly hates you, there can still be chemistry (though not likely), I think. Because having good client-provider chemistry isn't about real emotions on the provider's part, and no one thinks it is. (Except for the fools who fall in delusional, one-sided love.)
I don't know what kind of sessions you're having, but mine involve a lot more than strictly physical interaction. I'm not confusing her being a skilled lip-mover for actually wanting to talk my ear off when I think I have good conversational chemistry with a provider, for instance. I can tell the difference between someone who is merely skilled at faking interest in talking to people they wouldn't give the time of day without a down payment and someone with whom I conversationally click. And that's just one example. No need to complicate this issue. Like I keep saying, clients have this illusionistic "understanding" with many providers, but they get along with some better than others. The ones they get along with better we say they have chemistry with. And that's all it needs to mean. It doesn't mean your feelings are reciprocal. It doesn't need to mean the girl has any feelings at all. It means you get along well.Quick background – things were pretty good. I had an ATF that I had seen multiple times over a couple of years. We had that special “chemistry”, etc. (don’t laugh yet). Basically I spent a fortune on her. I also had a go to agency that was great. The girls were always fun, pricing was sensible and the group is fantastic to work with. I’ve met a number of their girls plus repeats.
Ok, so my agency gets a new girl. She’s new to the business and her photos are discreet with no face view. She’s nice and slender and just my type. I contact the agency and jump at the chance to see her. She’s busy. Try again a couple weeks later. She’s booked. Wait another week or so and then try again. She’s booked. How about next week? Now there’s a delay, and I’m told that she refuses to see me due to “our past relationship.” My reaction: WTF! I never met her to begin with, and I've never had a bad encounter with anyone.
It really bothered me and as I though more about it and stared at the new girl photos, it hit me (the chump). The new agency girl is my ATF grinding out tricks for pennies compared to what I pay her. Here’s the best part. Somewhere along the line, my ATF actually mentioned this agency to me. She had met an ex agency provider who gave her mixed reviews about it. I immediately jumped in. Oh, their great. Easy to work with. I’ve been with the owner, she great. Etc. Etc. I was their biggest cheerleader. By the way, I’m still in good standing with them (“they think”).
So it looks like another hard lesson in the pay for play world. One thing to keep in mind however. When you are fucking my ATF (for pennies compared to what I pay her), and you are enjoying a nice incall location (unlike the hotel room I have to pay for since my ATF is outcall only) – it is important to remember one thing. She’s my ATF and not yours!
Enjoy the laugh. It’s on me.
Why would you be mad at the agency? All they did was take on a good girl and help her peddle her services at a good rate. They did nothing to you. It's your "ATF" you should be pissed at, if anyone. And all she did was get the maximum amount from you, which you agreed to pay her. There's only one person here you should be mad at.
And, yes, you're a chump for being pissed about it all.
Because you paid her more than what the clients through the agency pay her now?
If that bugs you, then talk to her about it. She'd probably be open to an "arrangement" if you want that too.
If she is working for an agency, for less than her former independent rate, then either she wants many more sessions than she was getting, or she wasn't making enough money as an indy.
And that's more likely, that she is/was broke and needs the money, badly enough to go higher volume to get it.
I've gone the agency route when times were tight. Yeah, it's less $ per session but if I need more dollars per week than I can get on my own, and they can deliver then that's what I'll do.
a girl at a certain level, its okay with her if you go up from there, but most do not want you to go down.
When she's finished with the agency, if she wants to see you at the same rate as before, and you do it, then you really are a chump, because the "chemistry", my friend, was all in YOUR mind. I think a lot of guys (and I have been there when I was newer in the P4P world), confuse "chemistry" with having an "understanding". The understanding is that you have both fallen into a pattern of what to expect from the "relationship." In this case, she expected you to spoil her rotten, and you expected her to continue to make you believe that she was your real life girlfriend. It always sucks when the wake-up call comes.
There's hooker chemistry and real-life chemistry, let's establish that from the outset. There are those who confuse pay-for-play with the real thing, hence all the "I think I'm falling" threads. However, most people don't confuse "chemistry" with an "understanding" the way you describe it. Because they usually have the same understanding with many providers. Unless they're ridiculously easy to please or have no taste, they have chemistry with but a few.
Understandings are not all of a piece. They work out better with some than with others. We say we have chemistry with the ones with whom it works out better. I don't think that's an abuse of language.
-- Modified on 4/17/2017 1:10:08 PM
I have had many P4P relationships that have evolved into an outside real life girlfriend-boyfriend situation. So when I say chemistry, I'm not just talking about fucking good together, I'm talking about a meeting of the minds and hearts where it at least has the potential to be more than P4P. To me, that is real chemistry. Otherwise, its a kind of fake chemistry because the provider is just taking cues from you on how to get into your mind (and wallet) and make you THINK there's this awesome "chemistry" when really, its one-sided for you. She's just doing her job and doing it well. She will have the same awesome "chemistry" with the next guy that walks through the door if she's any good at retaining regulars, or at least it will be good chemistry FROM HIS PERSPECTIVE. So in most p4p you have an "understanding" but you don't really have chemistry. Chemistry involves more than just a good fuck in my experience.
Your "at least has the potential to be more than P4P" is not what most people mean when they bring up chemistry in this context. Which admittedly may be confusing, since the word "chemistry" is associated with real feelings in real life. Then again, there are many kinds of chemistry. Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis, for example, were said to have comedic chemistry. No one mistook that for them being in love.
If you don't want to use the word chemistry, fine, but there is such a thing as providers and clients clicking together as providers and clients. Not just concerning the actual sex (though why you couldn't call that sexual chemistry is beyond me), but the whole deal. Like I said, clients have "understandings" with many providers, yet don't claim to have chemistry with all of them. What do you call it when the understandings work out better than usual?
chemistry and physics. Chemistry has to do with emotions, as you point out, while sex is physics. Both together can be satisfying, but I think in the P4P world, chemistry is a perception on the part of the hobbyist because he's having good physics, and feelings of "chemistry" may not be shared mutually by the provider even though she is a big part of making the physics good. Again, she is just doing her job, and part of it is to create the illusion of MUTUAL chemistry so the customer will repeat.
By all means, understandings can evolve into mutual chemistry.
this is one thing I have found to be true where it comes to hooker/john dynamics and "chemistry".
Guys tend to fall for hookers that "rock their world" IOW because the "sex is so good"
Hookers tend to fall for clients for much different reasons. Either it's shared interests, he makes her laugh, he genuinely seems to "get her" any one of a thousand different reasons, but rarely just because he fucks her so well. Now I am not saying you are likely to get too far with a working girl without being at least "adequate" in bed, but it's rarely the primary motivation for a hooker to be dating a john, or former john.
they are women first, and hookers second, so they are attracted to the same things civvie women are attracted to: Deep pockets!!! (Sorry, had to say that - lol) The things you enumerated are correct in my experience. Chemistry involved things other than sex for most providers.
Chemistry is a branch of physics, actually. It has primarily to do with the way people interact with one another. It is about emotions in the real world, and as you say in the P4P world it's about emotions on the client's part, at least. But even if the provider secretly hates you, there can still be chemistry (though not likely), I think. Because having good client-provider chemistry isn't about real emotions on the provider's part, and no one thinks it is. (Except for the fools who fall in delusional, one-sided love.)
I don't know what kind of sessions you're having, but mine involve a lot more than strictly physical interaction. I'm not confusing her being a skilled lip-mover for actually wanting to talk my ear off when I think I have good conversational chemistry with a provider, for instance. I can tell the difference between someone who is merely skilled at faking interest in talking to people they wouldn't give the time of day without a down payment and someone with whom I conversationally click. And that's just one example.
No need to complicate this issue. Like I keep saying, clients have this illusionistic "understanding" with many providers, but they get along with some better than others. The ones they get along with better we say they have chemistry with. And that's all it needs to mean. It doesn't mean your feelings are reciprocal. It doesn't need to mean the girl has any feelings at all. It means you get along well.
Which if it's any solace means that most of us are laughing "with you" instead of "at you"
Ok, I guess maybe we are laughing "at you" too. lol
Enjoy the laugh. It’s on me.
As long as you can afford it , all you should do is laugh at yourself.
Now they can laugh at me! LOL
If you learned from it, then it was worth it, right?
As someone else mentioned, it sucks when the wake up call arrives but it's sucks even more if we don't listen to said wake up call.
It always seemed that a high price hooker could also server the low tiers at the same time under a different name. The low buck guys would never see her at the higher rates, and the high rollers would likewise never visit the bargain basement.
So she could score the rare high buck date while making a steady living in the lower tiers.