Hi everyone. Been around a bit but new to the boards. Next week is my second anniversary with my absolute fave. She's the best. By far. We've traveled extensively and have spent dozens of days and nights together. She often tells other ladies we're close to I've "changed her life" and I know she's changed mine. She's smart, incredibly hot, has massive 'skills' and is just a damn great person to be around her. I don't think in the last 18 months I've gone a week without seeing her.
Here's my conundrum. We have an overnight scheduled next week to celebrate. We'll be going to the top restaurant in town (quite chic and expensive but well worth it), she's going to the spa that afternoon on me for a massage and facial, and while paying her full overnight rate I'll certainly put a little extra gift into her envelope. With her gift I'd like to put a nice note in the envelope telling her how much she's done for me and how much she means to me and that I love her. Is that crossing "the line" in this world or should I skip the card and just finally tell her how much I love her and how I'd do anything for her? I don't want to ruin my relationship with her but still want her to know where she stands in my world!! Please tell me what you think!! Thanks!!!In all this time you've spent together over the past two years, has this woman ever given you any hint that she wants more than a mutually-beneficial P4P relationship with you? None?
If not... I think you already have the answer to your question. So if you want to ruin this great P4P relationship, go ahead, write the note or tell her how much you love her.
Danger MrMisunderstood! Danger!
I'm just a soul who's intentions are good.
Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood.
Just wanted to complete the line from the song....
Oh, setting some expectations and you might get this line from her.....
Btw, great song.....
Telling her you love her should be music to her ears ... she can expect years of money and gifts. She can probably start slacking off on performance and still expect you to worship at her feet.
No, I say go for it.
It also happens to be a very realistic way of looking at them.
Nothing says "love" more than a full envelope. lol
I can't believe just how many clueless, lovesick saps come on this board asking for permission from the peanut gallery to profess their undying love to the women who accept their money.
I am with you, I think he should go for it, and maybe he should sign over the deed to his house while he is at it as to leave no doubt as to the extent of his love for this women.
Please excuse me know as I am feeling a serious need to Ralph, partly from reading yet another "I have fallen for a hooker and can't get up post" and partly from publicly agreeing with you. lol
Great story..what a crock..love your new alias..
I'm sorry you're so unhappy in life. I truly hope things turn around for you!
There is no way on Earth that saying I love you to her is going to upset any apple cart.
You have my blessings: Say it!
I would be inclined to leave myself a small "out" by saying something like, "I appreciate the warmth and love you have shown me during our time together, and I hope you know I have the same feelings for you."
This limits YOUR love to be equal to, but not more than, her love for you. I think this will eliminate any potential misunderstanding. Just my opinion.
I'd write most of what you had in mind, put it in a nice card but I'd leave out the "I love You" lingo....But that's me. Word the note just alittle different...If you really feel the need to say the words "I love You", then say it to her face, it has a affect...good or.....Holy shit bad...lol
signing your home over to her.
I've probably bought her jewelry that's worth more than a nice condo so I don't think more material items are what's called for here. Thanks though.
I don't think more material items are what's called for here.
As far as your actual question, I'm not going to belittle your feelings. There's nothing inherently wrong with having feelings or with being honest about them with yourself or with others. You just have to give said others the room to be honest about what they feel as well, and you have to have yourself prepared to deal with the worst possible outcome. That's especially true here, where feelings and money collide. It seems like you're at a tipping point where you've been carrying this thing around and you can't hold it in any longer. I get that. I'm sure you realize that saying I love you might screw up the good thing you have. If you decide to go through with it then I say tell her, don't just put it in a card.
I'll say this: I can't tell you whether or not it's a fool's errand, a good idea or a spectacularly bad one; but saying "I love you", and meaning it, to someone when you don't know how they feel takes a lotta guts.
I hadn't noticed lol. Just tell her your feelings, life is too short to not.
Damn, so many people covering up so much. Just freaking talk to her if you want to . The worst thing that could happen is she doesn't want to see you again. The best.......
At least you then know where you stand. And she also knows.
All these high school guys love to be playing games.
How many of them are married and give advice about something they haven't experienced.
Which ever way she reacts, your relationship will change.
Over 50% of all romantic relationships break up, so it's a numbers game. If she feels the same and you can work something out, then great. If not, then great.
The thing is that there are billions of women in this world. If it doesn't work........ next. Or not!
Dude, nowhere in your OP did you say she's done anything for you other provide service paid for.
She cook you dinner, spend lots of time OTC?
Changing her life might mean financially to her.
Based on the sheer volume of times you have seen her, I am sure she has given you some OTC time here and there (one would hope based on the amount of cash that has transferred from your wallet to hers). But have you ever really gotten the hint/ or feeling that she looks at you as more than a hobbyist? That she would want to date you in the civilian world? Chances are no.
When it comes to figuring out feelings, women are far more intuitive than men (men have to be hit over the head with a 2 x 4). She OBVIOUSLY knows you love her---my lord once a week for 18 months straight ought to tell her that. You don't need to profess your love for her on paper; she knows it already. To answer your query, she knows where she stands in your world. But the reality is, If she were interested in you on a non hobbyist/provider basis, she would have LONG AGO told you as such.
I don't think there is really any line to cross. She knows where you stand and in your gut (even if it pains you to admit it) you know where she stands. If you look her in the eyes and tell her you love her, she'll tell you she loves you to and then within 30 seconds, you'll find out the cold hard truth that she loves you "on a client/hobbyist" basis.
But if you want to date her in a non pay for play environment, then just ask her out on a date. And then be prepared for the consequences.
There absolutely can be loving feelings in this private world here. Unfortunately it seems sometimes people will get a slap in the face for having them thou.
Steph
but as a woman who has been around here for many years and has seen countless "I have fallen for a hooker and can't get up" posts, what do you think the odds that this "love" he feels is reciprocated? and by "love" I don't mean "loves him as a client" or "loves his money" lol
I do have to concede I doubt he is going to get "slapped in the face" or dumped as a client if he professes his undying love to her, he has already alluded to giving her jewelry valued at "the price of a small condo" so somehow I doubt she is going to kill the Goose giving her diamond encrusted eggs. lol
And yes I've been here for a while and have seen it on BOTH sides. Who's to say it hasn't happen to me? The grey area between Strictly P4P and a personal relationship happens a lot here.
Steph XO
Of course there can be loving feelings in this world.
I don't see that SS said there aren't/can't be. He just noted that in this particular case, said feelings are running in only one direction. Or, at best, that she may have feelings of love toward the OP as a friend or as a client only. Personally, I agree.
I agree with you, no reason to knock someone around for having feelings.
Just how many "I have fallen for a hooker" posts are we going to read, knowing full well the feelings only run one way, without having a bit of fun at the OP's expense?
Actually I think this guy has been treated in quite a civil manner considering the abuse that previous posters have received for making similar posts in the past, but of course OTM, MAC, and BBFS have not been heard from yet, so the tone could change at any moment. lol
HA!
Oh, I agree that these types of posts are always met with derisive mocking. Didn't mean to imply any surprise there. I do think this one is a little bit different because he seems to be saying "this is where I'm at, what do you think about me telling her so?" He's not one of those who adds and I just know she loves me too.
Anyways, I don't think he's been abused here at all really. He's gotten a bunch of well intentioned posts from people giving their POV. Which is why I had assumed that Steph was making a general observation. I'm sure she knows the others you mentioned will be along for some abuse. (Speaking of which, where is JD here?) I meant no reason to knock people around in general. And I've definitely seen some threads here where some poor soul was in a similar spot as the OP and got kicked a lot more than he should've. It's gotten out of control. Nobody here has gone after this guy....yet.
Okay, maybe there is one reason, to have fun at their expense as you said. lol. I guess I don't feel a need to do that is all. I have other means of fun in my life. Sometimes it's having fun at the expense of people I know IRL. LOL. But they all know what I really think of them.
If these started showing up on NB all the time, you think everyone would remain composed, or would somebody crack and say to hell with the play nice rules?
With a few exceptions of course. Quite frankly I wish they would give PS full "mod powers" on that board so he could keep it drama free like (believe it or not) I did way back a thousand years ago when I moderated that board.
I will say that even without mod powers, PS still does a pretty good job of putting out fires over there before they get out of hand.
Hi there! Thanks for all your thoughtful opinions. You're right. I have been treated pretty well here but my mail box here is quite another matter. I did receive one very nice message from a gal who went above and beyond to be sweet and thoughtful and helpful. The rest of the messages? Not so sweet. Rather nasty I'd say. Including one from poster MacDaddy. What's his deal? He seems really uh desperate and jaded? And like a total loser. Seems like a master douchebag.
Smooth and sophisticated is not exactly his style. lol
But you do have to admit, you kind of opened yourself up to the rest of the rather mild abuse you got from the rest of us.
Yes he did mention that rather obscene act. And as I said I agree, my treatment here has proven rather even handed. No complaints here. I think you're quite clear where you stand. Should I report back to you on how things go?
-- Modified on 9/6/2017 6:44:25 PM
but I am sure the entire class would love to hear how it goes.
-- Modified on 9/6/2017 7:58:50 PM
i bet you do fuckface..
-- Modified on 9/6/2017 7:58:50 PM
you could always eat your own shit,,and i bet you are a regular fucking gourmet shithead..
Smooth and sophisticated is not exactly his style. lol
But you do have to admit, you kind of opened yourself up to the rest of the rather mild abuse you got from the rest of us.
You miss my point. Nowhere do I say that I think she'd date me in a non P4P environment. I know where I stand. I don't want to marry her. I don't want her to move in. I just want her to know how deeply I care for her. I think she knows but I want to be definitive. I don't want to "save her" from P4P and don't get into other facets of her business.
And yes there's lots of "extras" for me on her menu. For example, when we do a trip, my daily rate is her 12 hour overnight rate not her 24 hour rate, though money really isn't any issue at all in our relationship. If she wanted her 24 hour rate, I'd most likely pay it. I also receive "between the sheets" benefits that I'm confident most if not all of her other clients don't get.
Thanks for your feedback! All points well meant and well taken!
once or twice or maybe 3 times. If you have a caring, loving bone in your body anywhere and can view this on a metaphysical state, yes love happens for those kind of individuals. It's not all that uncommon...but love can be defined as many things to many different types of people.
I will say, the only men I have truly loved in this world continued to "take care of me" the way I saw fit. Of course it doesn't last forever, nothing is forever, that's a fairytale that doesn't exist. But the minute he seemingly decides to take that away for his own questionable reasons...it was simple, it was time to say goodbye. For me personally, the ONLY reason I am here is to better my life for those I care for the most in this world. To be able to take care of them the way that I see fit. The minute someone decides to take that away from me, he is not only disrespecting me, but more importantly those who it is directly effecting even more so. It NEVER hurts me, only them. And quite honestly, the minute he decides to do that, he looks different in my eyes and I'm completely turned off in an instant and I'm left SMH. There are certain things men do that I will never understand LOL.
In this world when love happens it can be tricky, but really it's very simple if both understand the equation. And if you can find the "unicorn" of a man who is secure enough to handle the why, the where, the when and how you met here and keep the equation going that woks for you, you are one lucky lady. Very few men understand how simple this concept is to truly make it "work". And for a gentleman here to take something away from a woman who has chosen to be here for her own personal reasons, is only one thing, selfish. Ladies have "chosen" to be here, not the other way around.
So MrMisunderstood, you sound amazing and I'm pretty sure seemingly one who gets it. Maybe you are "that" unicorn of a man here lol, I don't know. But trust me, she knows what's going on and your feelings. Anything after one date here can lead to feelings, that's just human nature in spending time with someone you like. Just don't try to make something it's not and keep forging ahead on the path you are on. ALWAYS remember where you met FIRST, and ask yourself WHY she is here. You may then be able to keep your head screwed on right lol. Insecurity is an ugly thing. And that (I have found) is what makes men here do what they do and then why it "ends".
a real fucking tool..
You miss my point. Nowhere do I say that I think she'd date me in a non P4P environment. I know where I stand. I don't want to marry her. I don't want her to move in. I just want her to know how deeply I care for her. I think she knows but I want to be definitive. I don't want to "save her" from P4P and don't get into other facets of her business.
And yes there's lots of "extras" for me on her menu. For example, when we do a trip, my daily rate is her 12 hour overnight rate not her 24 hour rate, though money really isn't any issue at all in our relationship. If she wanted her 24 hour rate, I'd most likely pay it. I also receive "between the sheets" benefits that I'm confident most if not all of her other clients don't get.
Thanks for your feedback! All points well meant and well taken!
how do i meet someone like you ?
As long as they're not forced on her. Just say what you said here. Tell her you feel strongly about her and that she's special to you. Make it clear that you're not trying to cross any lines by revealing this, and it isn't your intent to impose a relationship on her. You want to keep things just the way they are, but you just wanted her to know what she means to you. You consider her a friend and that's that.
I've been at the receiving end of what you described a time or two, and it is nice to know that you have a gentleman's affections. We're all human. It only becomes a problem when he tries to make you all his (I've been at the receiving end of that too and it's annoying).
Good luck!
the truth. Better sooner than later. I have a feeling she drops you like a ten pound turd. Sorry.
I think you should go ahead and tell her how much she means to you. I think it is a great thing that someone can walk into someone's life and change who you are no matter if it is a escort or not. We are all real people to. An you even said she feels the same for you. Do not be shy to say how you feel. I bet it will make her day as well.
She may feel the same way about you. I have witnessed providers falling in love with their clients it is natural. One provider retired & married her long time regular, and they are very happily still together years later. Chemistry is everything. Do not listen, or take advise from these group of guys here. Listen to your heart, honey. Step out of your comfort zone.
Best of luck & thanks for sharing this made me smile!
You must tell her dude how you really feel if it has not happened already. To me in this world you must be willing to be totally vulnerable 100%. EOM
There have been lots of good points here. I think Love is wonderful and everyone should be able to experience it as long as possible. After all we are all humans with emotions. The difference is how you met and what your relationship consist of. What makes this hobby so great is to be able to play out your fantasies conveniently but there's a silver lining. Not every experience is as real as it feels. Feelings can confuse your logic.
What do you expect to happen after you tell her you love her? For me when someone has told me they loved me, I either knew it already or I feeled that person was trying back me into a corner with the "L" word because once you say it, expectations are made more high on both ends. Sometimes unrealistic. More pressure is added because things are no longer simple.
It sounds like you have a great relationship with your ATF. If I were you, I wouldn't change a thing. As a matter of fact I would wait for her to take that leap because I think you are in a much more vulnerable position than she is. Most of all. Don't overthink it. Just enjoy your time with her and live for the moment.
I had favourites tell me they loved me and guess what? I loved them too...still do for some that I do not even see anymore,they are sweet memories. Just don't expect it too last but enjoy the relation while it last.
In my case the end was my favourite of all time becoming a grandfather (!) ,went gaga over the baby and lost the money and time for me, I admit she was cute lol.
As Kimberly said don't overthink and it is not as if it will come as a surprise,she knows,trust me and as long as both of you do not lose perspective just have fun.
And contrary to what a lot for guys seems to think we are not waiting for a prince charming to save us,the indies like me are escorting because we chose too not aiming at being rescued...