How Did She Find Out You're Seeing Other Providers?

It's never a good idea to tell a provider you're seeing other providers. I've had a few providers I'm currently seeing ask me why I haven't seen them in a while. They say because I'm seeing other girls. Which is true. But I don't tell them that. I just say I've been busy at work. That seems to be a good enough explanation to them.

some of the ladies I see know who the other ladies I see are. I guess they're confident and don't mind sharing or I'm not worthy getting possessive over. Lol. I do believe I spend time with ladies whose personalities don't include that type of possessive behavior.

I do try to keep my favorites to a select few and try to see them all equally even though it can be tough at times.

Sharing

First off, I am not worth getting jealous of but I have been lucky that this situation has never been an issue for me. The ladies that I have seen, including TL, have been more than gracious in sharing me with friends and roommate's. I hope this is never an issue.

You may be a wonderful person & client, as well as physically appealing to a wide variety of tastes....... but let's be real here: those who don't like to share simply don't want you spreading your (literal) wealth around.  

THEY want, and feel entitled to,  every single hobby-dollar you have.  

 
Yes, there are rare exceptions to this motivation but by and large it's all about the money.

It's All About The Money Or Some Other Underlying Motive;

It's never a good idea to mention to a provider or even a girlfriend for that matter that you're seeing other girls. It's been my experience that girls get very jealous of each other.

Sometimes I get in a conversation with a girl about hobbying and they ask me how long I've been doing it, what kind of girls I see, etc.  
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I haven't had the sort of problem described in the OP. There are a few girls I repeat with, but pretty infrequently (3-4 months between visits), and they seem to be fine that I see them when I see them. I'm not regular enough for them to get jealous, and their chill/pro attitudes are part of what makes me want to repeat with them.

For some women in this industry there's a jealousy of a regular client spending his money seeing other providers, who he might come to like and spend more time and money with in future, than he does with her.
I have a lovely regular who was harrasssed and stalked by a regular gal he was seeing when it became obvious on twitter that he'd had a booking with me. It got very nasty and she threatened to out him!  
Many guys use gals as references when they want to see a new SP so it alerts someone who might be a bit unstable that you plan to see a new person.
It's ridiculous because there is enough business to go around, and if you're good at your job then guys will find you.
Gents you should be, and are free to see whoever you like - it's business and providers who give you a hard time for wanting some variety shouldn't be in this industry at all.

My ATF introduced me to my other ATF

5 years ago my delightful, generous, cool beyond belief ATF turned me on to her friend - I have seen both regularly since.  Without asking she just said "you have got to meet this lady, she is just right for you".  Her friend in simply amazing too!  I adore the both of them!

It was a kind, generous gesture for both me, and (I hope) her friend, by the classiest of  acts I have found in this business - well, maybe anywhere!  If you met the friend, you would understand what a fabulous, selfless gift it was.
 
I have had other ladies get a jealous/possessive if they find out I have seen someone else.  It's one reason that I do few reviews these days.

where a provider offered me unsolicited advice not to see this or that gal, for whatever reason.

In fact, I have had many more examples of gals suggesting I see this or that gal, and not someone that they are best buddies with either, because they thought we would be a good fit.  Every gal I see knows that I see a lot of different gals.

 
In any case, unless a gal doesn't know your TER handle and/or you don't write reviews, a gal can easily see whom you've been with by looking up your review history, so it is kind of hard to keep things a secret.  

Asked for  a recommendation and I gave him one. I don't think he will stop seeing me so what does it matter? Even if he did, that's the name of the game, I just hppe he enjoyed our time together. Luckily, I only have 1 ATF and don't mind sharing, he is great.  

I think anyone that gets jealous or mad because of something like hiring another provider, maybe shouldn't be selling their services. Jealousy is ugly and has 0 place in the hobby.

Providers who fear the loss of business from a client seeing others fail to realize that they are also getting clients that way.  

Some providers are mature enough to realize that yes some hobbyists are just that hobbyists. Hobbyists see multiple people. Rare occasions you a get a hobbyists who sees only one provider but that seems rare now days. I have run across this jealousy in the exotic dancing world. It runs rampant when others can "see" how much u make and how popular u are. The girls try to ruin it if they can . I got sick of the rumors and caddiness. So I left and became independent. I would be aware of who u do see just the fact of rumors and caddiness. Immature girls can be very vindictive such as drama and trying to ruin your life as a hobbyists. I once had a girl give a wife my number to try to get him in trouble and stop seeing me. I was able to play it off but I'm not into that type of drama. So let's just keep it real ladies. There are plenty of guys to go around and we all want to stay safe.

...over the years, many unsolicited. If I really like a guy and he’s well behaved, then I definitely want to share him with women I know. It’s a win-win, in that he gets to see someone I think he’ll really enjoy and she gets to see a guy that she feels safe with because a friend that she actually knows has vouched for him. I’d much rather share good experiences with my friends than leave them exposed to potentially bad or unknown situations. If I’m not sure who the gent might match well with, I’m always proactive in offering a reference and/or an ok on P411.  
I’ve been fortunate in that the same behaviours have been reciprocated. For me it works better. Whilst I’m not opposed to having regular clients, regular for me would not be seeing each other every week. No matter how much I like you that’s just too intense for me. I do see clients from the US when they venture to this side of the pond and I’ve had some of the best experiences - it’s like catching up with an old boyfriend a few years after the fact and re-kindling the flames 🔥 (or hot sex may be more appropriate description lol)...
I’ve had a few emails from providers ‘fishing’ over years but nothing too outrageous and I generally respond to their email but ignore the bait...

C x

-- Modified on 1/3/2018 2:58:37 PM

and like Debra mentioned it is all about the money as far as the jealousy goes.
I provide references all of the time sometimes it is for a gent I have seen once or someone I see regularly.
I do not get upset there is really no reason to be it is great he is seeing other ladies I am seeing other gents.
No one belongs to anyone in this business.
I have found over the years in some cases it is best to have an alternate way to verify a gent besides references that way these issues don't occur.Most of the clients I see are married the last thing they want to hear is some petty drama over him seeing another provider.He can get nagging and complaining at home for free.
Just my .02

..... start to go elsewhere or change frequency. Like I am now.
I'm sure the ladies that I've been seeing have gotten used to my revenue stream. It's understandable.  
I got used to my client's spending habits and they have suddenly changed, in a big way. That trickle down has caused me to change my spending, in a big way, for a while.
Everyone has to adjust. The ladies lose my dollars and company, and I'm left with blue balls.

My clients are very inconsiderate. Bastards!!

Using My Two Favorite Providers As A Reference To See Other Providers.

Oh Hell No. If I did that they would Kill Me.

Once I had a client who tried making me jealous by booking time with my friends and rubbing it in my face after. It turns out I actually really love it when men spoil women, especially if they're my friends, so his mind fuck didn't work so well on me lol. People do really strange things when they feel threatened.

From this lady's perspective 😉 I've had providers get crazy on me for seeing THEIR client. Aren't we all supposed to be doing the same thing? Lol! 😂
I get mine anyway,  as should any provider🤗☺😚
I am very reference friendly.  
No gentlemen should be denied fun either because someone they fucked in p4p doesn't like it 😎 😘😏
XOXO  
TL

Insecure people behave poorly when in fear. Thank goodness for emotionally mature providers that make this so much fun.
Aside from the fact that these ladies are so freaking great at fucking and all that is so much fun, the great ones also get it that we are paying for the fun without the drama that more conventional relationships come with.  

I really don't want to be playing hide N seek with anyone in my life. It's too fucking complicated.  
I'm telling providers, girlfriends, NSA ladies etc. that I'm not sexually monogamous.

All that being said, I try not to be pushing who else I'm seeing in the lady's faces. That's just insensitive. And I'll cop to having been thoughtless at times.

It’s just plain greed and is a turn off.
Just like References are for safety.  
If a provider gives you a hard time and refuses to give a reference or gives you drama about seeing others then you need to upgrade to a drama free provider.
Life is too short to deal with insecurity.
She’s not your wifey.
The hobby should be fun, not complicated.
Some just don’t get it.

Those who've read the entire thread and been on this board for awhile will understand why I feel the need to mention the first ......

 
IF  the provider is engaging in BBFS with a client, believing that he is seeing her and ONLY her, I feel it is totally understandable for her to be upset if she learns he's NOT being exclusive.  

 
Another situation that springs to mind is if the client wrote a glowing review of a new lady which was more complimentary (with higher scores) than what he'd written of the first provider.  
We can be sensitive creatures, so even if a gentlemen has repeatedly said his regular gal is his All-Time ATF, it might sting a little to learn that his experience with someone else blew their encounters out of the water.  

 
Is that completely professional & mature behavior?  No.  But it is human nature.  

I think Debra and others easily hit this very accurate.

 
I have no problem sending out references, And yet I have several regular clients it makes no difference to me who they see. I make assume they are seeing others always if even i bother to think about it.  

 
For some providers they are lazy. It takes time, hours each week to answer mail and adjust calendar and do whatever. If I had a bunch of regulars and I was there ATF and they not seeing anyone else I could be lazy. No need place ads, no need move things around, no need do anything but wait his cock and money walk in door. If I found out one of my clients was BBFS anyone I would cut them off no second thought. No consideration of money, all consideration of health.

 
To be jealous of another companion over a clients choice is crazy. I get jealous of other providers because I am wish it me playing with her, not the client. Take a look at those answering this thread, I would eat a few like a starving Filipino.  

 
It will always be about the money, and then the lazy. If you have a ATF ( which I think is a bit silly to begin with ) and she get jealous you seeing others, just get rid of her. No need for drama in this business. It has enough issues without need for more drama. I am pretty sure that if a provider is showing jealous you are one step from BSC provider.  

 
I have a one client who has 65 ok on P411, and many TER reviews. He sees me every-other week. Looking at his profiles how can even expect he is not seeing other. Silly. Clients come and go. As long as they pay, stay drama free, polite and clean I am a happy provider. Leave the emotion when you leave the room.  

 
Its the money and the lazy.

As a provider you need to accept that hobbyists will see other providers. One of the biggest reasons clients see us and compensate us for our time is because it is meant to be an enjoyable experience with no emotional strings attached nor should there be any sense of ownership from either party. It's completely unfair and unprofessional to put that kind of guilt on someone. When a provider reaches out to me to verify a client I am more than happy to give a reference. I don't get offended and think "how dare they see anyone but me!" That would be like if I went to a great restaurant, food was amazing, best customer service, incredible ambiance, then a couple weeks go by, I come back and the owner of the place corners me and says "Have you been eating at other restaurants?! How often? Which ones?! I can't believe you!" I mean....come on. I know we're human and mixing pleasure, emotions and cash can get complicated. However, the girls out there who are able to stay professional, courteous, and understanding are the ones who give this industry a good name and they're the ones you want to see. If they cross that line though, my advice...."see ya!"

Feelings!!!

I had a shrink once tell me that I have a very "masculine" personality.  I will take that as a complement!  

Feelings I am not familiar with: jealousy, embarrassment, shyness.  

I am always happy to give referrals and I also enjoy hearing about my gentlemen's other dates!!  

xoxo

Emotional Feelings.

Sometimes it's difficult to avoid emotions and feelings in this business from either side. I've seen girls that were strictly for fun. It never progressed any further than that. A few girls there's some sort of emotional connection. I've seen a few off the clock. We just spent the day together. Went to dinner and a movie. One girl even introduced me to her family. It was a little unsettling. But I went with it for her because I think she likes me. Oh and yes I'm still seeing this girl.      

It's always been good and bad businesses.

The same goes for this hobby.

If a provider gets demanding, entitled or possessive in dealing with a client.  

Then it's time to move on and find another provider.

It's too many great ladies in this hobby, to put up with that garbage.

She will learn once the phone stops ringing with customers.

-- Modified on 1/9/2018 3:50:06 AM

Save all the possessiveness, jealousy and cattiness for the real world. We all know there is plenty of it going around out there. This is suppose to be fun! I know what this is, you know what this is, end of story. Of course you're seeing other ladies! Just like I'm seeing other men. Quite a few of my encounters are from other ladies telling their clients "You have to see her! She's great." Those meetings are often some of the most interesting and fun times I've had and I try to do the same for other ladies. There is plenty to go around. Leave the greed to the corporations and the possessiveness to the SO's. I'm in this to relax just like everyone else. Let's all just have a good time!

There is enough love to go around, this should be fun and full of new experiences.
We should all be able to see whoever we want and if someone gets upset over that you should stop seeing that sour apple.