So in a recent encounter, I was performing BBBJ and the gentleman had his hand on the back of my head. Nothing unusual there lol. As he approached climax, he tightened his grip, holding my head and neck in place. Again, not an odd occurrence for me as CIM is on my menu. 
But he kept his grip even after he'd finished so I gently pulled back a couple times, thinking he'd get the hint and let me up but he did not. I then tapped his forearm: no response.
Next I slapped his forearm; he immediately released me, looking quite startled. This was no more than a minute or so after he'd finished so it wasn't a big deal to me. I went to the bathroom, returning shortly with a washcloth, whereupon he apologized profusely.... I told him it was okay but try to stay more aware next time.
He then said, "at least you didn't spit it in my face!" Excuse me? He then explained that the last provider he'd seen had SPIT HIS CUM IN HIS FACE as soon as he'd let her up, then yelled at him for what he'd done.
As you might guess, this provider did not allow CIM, which he claimed he did not know.
He said he apologized to her over and over then left her a big tip but she wouldn't see him again or even answer his follow-up texts and emails. I told him he was lucky she didn't bite him but that I personally would not have taken the route she did. I'm not condemning her action; it simply wouldn't have occurred to me lol.
I have now shared this story with several people, both clients and providers, and the reactions to what the lady did (spitting his cum in his face) have been interesting.
Because this is the first time I've heard such a tale, I thought I'd post it here as the responses I've received thus far have been both entertaining and enlightening.
-- Modified on 2/19/2018 12:01:38 PM
No way am I going to be using any kind of force on a woman who has my manhood between her teeth and her hands around the family jewels.
Hearing the story, it is actually kind of funny although I doubt either of them found it too funny at the time. The guy sounds like a jerk and I don't blame her for never agreeing to see him again.
If he wasn't positive about it going in, he should have clarified it once there. If I'm not sure she allows CIM, I always ask her once there. I don't want to disrespect or anger her for doing something she wasn't expecting.
I really don't blame her for her reactions. Especially if he had to "let her up" a little bit after he was completely done. There's no call for being that forceful with anyone.
...what kind of guy would have so little self-control or awareness of his own body and its reactions as to achieve an "accidental" CIM.
Any male who is the least bit familiar with the sensations of impending orgasm knows when to pull out or give her fair warning if CIM isn't on the menu. Most clients who seek such a finish are looking specifically for such a provider. Thus, any guy who says "oops! my bad, I couldn't control my own bodily functions!" is probably a jerk who is deliberately pushing boundaries.
The head push is one thing -- holding her head down when you know CIM ISN'T on the menu is abusive, IMO.
I seek out providers who are enthusiastic participants in giving the best oral pleasure and they know that they are in complete control of the scenario. We've discussed it, made sure we both know where the lines are drawn and whether or not she's OK with where the left and right field fences are set.
I want us BOTH to have a great time doing what we truly enjoy doing with each other. We should both be professional about our play time and then enjoy it to the max!
Tell him to leave and never see him again is the best response. Warn other providers who does not offer it is also helpful. He needs to learn to ask first and controls himself if he still does not get it. He probably likes it much more on someone who does not offer it and that is why he acts like that. Pushing boundary is what some people enjoy doing to feel special.
... it was an appropriate response by the young lady. I always read the reviews of a woman I am seeing for the first time. As far as holding her head down. I think that is uncalled for. I like treating the lady with respect. We have more fun that way. I also have no problem getting references from the ladies. Respect is a two way street. Maybe I am mellowing as I get older but I will live with that.
It's always interesting to me if I read a review about a girl I know does not CIM or if she does she spits it out, then some guy posts about BBJCIMNSNQ.... I generally think he is lying or he is an asshole like this guy was..... I could be wrong but I go by what she has posted and what she has said.
Even though you allow CIM, what he did to you was wrong too. Now if he did the same thing twice, do you think that's the only two times he did that? Unless it's a dom/sub session (which of course is planned ahead of time), nobody should be forced to do anything.
Ladies that allow CIM and those that don't, deserve to be treated respectfully. In my book forcefully holding a lady's head or pushing the back of it is just the opposite. The guy Debra saw knows exactly what he is doing. I hope he's on her DNS list now. I can't say what I'd like to see happen to him, I might appear to be a MHB if I did, lol!
Thank goodness guys like that are in the minority.
Steph XO
I guess he follows the old maxim ...
It's easier to ask forgiveness than it is to get permission. -- Rear Admiral Grace Murray Hopper
It takes two seconds to ask for consent. Be it during the heat of the moment or as a way to build up sexual tension. I feel like to say 'I didn't know' is taking the easy way out. Personally, I wouldn't spit in his face but maybe she was trying to make a point with her distaste? Lol. Either way, I'd definitely let him off with a huge warning to not do that again to me or any other lady!
It appears to be a pattern with him so I doubt it will be the last time he does it no matter how huge of a warning he gets.
Getting punched in the dick really doesn't hurt at all, and if you punch someone like Mick in the dick he's liable to follow you around like a little puppy dog asking you to do it again.
Now punching him in the BALLS is a completely different matter, that shit hurts and will DEFINITELY get his attention. lol
Then again if he's into CBT he might like both....fuck.
-- Modified on 2/19/2018 4:15:08 PM
Mocha you are funny! This made me laugh thank you
Eden
........ a riding crop to the testicles is quite wonderful.
A prick like that one needs his head held down in a toilet.
...... medicine. He's basically raping.
And then using what so many parents teach their kids. That the saying sorry is repairing the situation, so he can go on and do it again. Because the ladies just let it go and probably don't pass it along to other ladies.
Should have his head held in a toilet with shit in it.
Both of these ladies' response are reasonable but I am sorry to say that all he would hear from Debra's response was that "it was okay" and never remember that he should "try to stay more aware next time". He will continue to do exactly the same thing again to other providers no matter what's on her menu. This is what boundary pusher loves to hear the most, that it was okay.
Being spit on did not stop him from doing it again so that's why I think others need to know about him and decide if they should see him or not. It may ruin the moment but ladies may want to tell guys ahead of time to let go of her head as soon as they cum to avoid being in a sticky situation. Guys will have no excuse and will deserve whatever response they get.
This guy knew what he was doing. Classless. The lady always sets the boundary. I would warn others if you can.
is that this guy doing that to you didn't really bother you, but a guy joking about the magic opening door bothers you.
That's just Debra's boundary and if he likes Debra then he would try to see Debra again and do the same thing then apologize again too. If there is something else he likes to do, he would try that too without asking and see how Debra responds.
On the other hand, there is just something one should never joke about like the magic door or asking if a lady just has lunch because her breath smells wonderful even if you really like the smell of her breath.
Sounds to me like he's got a pattern of forcing himself on providers
Since there are many who wouldn't object if they knew in advance you have to wonder if the violence itself is what he gets off on
My experience tells me that guys like this tend to escalate their violence.
Some providers in the future could be hurt
I'd suggest you not see him again.
absolutely agree this is tantamount to rape which is about power and violence NOT about sex you should blacklist him before he escalates to the next scenario in his warped mind which will be a lot worse
I do not normally do CIM, but it has happened, (discussed first). I normally hold/touch their hands, as I do not like my head being held/pushed down. This guy really needs to talk to his ladies first and discuss what he likes to do and what his lady is comfortable with.
Some guys like a snowball (or the goo being spitted on them) but again, needs to be discussed ahead of time.
NOT cool for him not to talk to you about this first, or his other ladies, for that matter, to make sure you were comfortable. This is why I like to take my first 10 to 15 min to talk/get to know each other before the session starts. You (or him, I do dominatrix sessions) should feel OK "tapping out" at anytime things are going beyond your/his comfort level.
I have a client that likes to do "rape" scenes, but these are discussed ahead of time and we both know what to do when we want to stop.
You are getting paid, but you should never do something that makes you uncomfortable or something you do not enjoy. Guys, let the lady know what you like and what you want to do. It is not so much that we will say no, but that we know what you like/want so we are ready and will be comfortable with it.
Moral of the story...... discuss first!!!!!!!
But I dont think this prick cares. It sounds like he gets off by forcing girls to do things that they don't want to do. I remember reading about guys who would slip.off condoms so they could cum in girls on the sly. Often blaming it on a broken condom. One asshole even coached other dirtbags on how to get away with it ... things like keeping the ring or rolled up part of the condom (everything else cut away) on their dick.
and I remember thinking, What Kind of guy does this shit?
This kind of guy ... thats who.
as a matter of course, then “apologizes profusely” to get away with it. He sounds like a passive aggressive little turd.
While I don’t necessarily think he’ll begin escalating his behavior, he DOES have two (known) strikes against him now; him restraining you wasn’t cool. Yes, we all go off to La La Land a little after a good O, but you /still/ retain some awareness of your surroundings and him “not noticing” your initial signals sounds fishy.
And him saying that “he didn’t know” that the previous Provider didn’t offer CIM also smacks of BS; when I meet a Provider for the first time, I’m all about “May I?”, “Is this okay?” and “please & thank you” because I want to establish boundaries and try to avoid anything that would potentially annoy, anger or alienate the lady in question. Not to mention, I will have done as much research (studying her TER/P411 profile(s), her website and reading her reviews) as I can beforehand.
Only you really know what kind of vibe you’ve gotten off this guy, so only you can judge as to whether or not you should see him again. But if you decide to do so, you should be watchful of his behavior (though if you can’t really trust him, is seeing him worth the trouble?)
Forced CIM,are you kidding- who would do that to any woman???...A Real Public Stoning should be called for...unwanted CIM means he's a rude,narcissist and probably runs a "2 minute offense" no warning?/no im coming?no im an asshole,watch out???....listen gang i love open oral explorations...haved worked up to CIM w those few i trust and see regularly...have open discussion with providers on the road or when i'm traveling...its never a deal breaker...but a good in depth oral "introduction"(on both ends)-usually helps relieve any initial nervous tensions and allows for a real complete sexual experience...
Holding her head down? Just wrong on so many levels! As a gentleman, my first concern is that I don't choke or suffocate her.
He should be DNS for holding her head after she tapped out. IF you allow him to hold your head at all, he should on alert to release you when requested. What an ass hat.
Now I will say that I have on one occasion had CIM occur with a Fav gal who apparently was unhappy... but I truly had no warning, a situation which has existed since my partial spinal cord injury... which she was fully aware of. She was in control... and it happened. She came back from the bathroom smelling minty fresh. I did appologize...
I would learn a lesson to NOT ALLOW hands holding your head. Period. You need the ability to move your head for self preservation. I would make it a rule. Tell all gentlemen this simple rule. Maybe touching is OK but holding is NOT! Warn them in advance that you'll STOP if they do it.
Sorry that happened to you Debra H. Even though you say you're used to it, and offer the service - not like that. I'm sure you were scared for a moment, and his apology really didn't make it better. Maybe slightly because the frightening situation was over, but that's not right. Although you're trying to rationalize it was ok, it wasn't. He knew what he was doing and should have let go when you tapped out. Its a universally understood sign amongst men.
If I were you, for your personal safety wouldn't see him again. It's your choice. But if he did it to you, after another provider spit in his face, then you would think he would have learned his lesson.
Twice is a pattern. I believe you should out this guy as he could be a danger to the girls. The use of force and control is what get rapists off not the sex.
I kept my OP short and to the point, but perhaps in doing so I unintentionally painted a much different picture of what really happened between the client and myself.
I do NOT allow anyone to cause me physical discomfort of any kind. If I'd felt injured or threatened in any way, I would have reacted much differently than I did. (Recently, when someone playfully nipped my lip during a kiss, I full-on slapped him. Biting is not sexy to me.)
His holding my head was not uncomfortable. I was not frightened or alarmed in any way.
He did not do this violently; there was no shoving or forcing. I've had gentlemen hold & guide my head many, many times and while it's not an everyday occurrence, it's also not that unusual for me either. I simply relax into it and follow the pace he's setting.
Another note about this: not to be too graphic, but my willingness to allow this depends upon the individual's size. As this guy happened to be only slightly larger than a roll of quarters?
Not a problem.
His remorse regarding the other lady seemed completely sincere and genuine, as did his own apology to me. I talked with him quite a bit after he'd shared that story, and tried to impress upon him how important it is that he not get so lost in the moment that he's not only unaware of his partner, but of his own actions.
Based upon my instincts about this guy, I do not think he has any violent or predatory tendencies... but that's not to say he won't hurt someone accidentally, through not being aware of his actions.
So after giving this a lot of thought, I will enter him into the relevant databases and also make mention of it to anyone who requests a reference for him.
Again, thank you all very much for contributing to this thread!!!
-- Modified on 2/20/2018 11:34:36 AM
I thought highly of your response to him in the OP. This post only confirms it and you didn't paint any different picture from what I read. While he may be truly remorseful, he is not likely a contrite individual. Words alone won't change him. Nothing short of having difficulty seeing new lady may change his actions so what you did in the OP and now is simply perfect.
But he’ll never be charged. One can only hope that he gets so desperate, as his blacklisting limits his options, he slips up and tries this with a Backpage Provider who has a pimp waiting outside in the parking lot. Sometimes street justice is the only option available in this business.
This guy just seems like a jerk that will continue to do this to every provider he sees regardless if she allows it or not. Sounds like he deserved his own body fluids spit in his face.
If you are not the first provider who has had to literally slap him into his senses, then he needs to realize that he might not be considering how he's conducting himself with providers when he's reached orgasm.
And if a guy has not checked out a provider's menu first, then he should simply ask, "Do you allow CIM?"
Guys who are aggressive with BJ are that way because it is a thing for them. Seems to me that in your experience you both fell short of communication. He isn't supposed to assume that he can do that with anyone and should have mentioned that he likes that to give you a heads up.
From the description of the incident, it sounds very forceful....bordering on rape. Forcefully holding your head, and then not letting you off. Sounds like he was trying to force you to swallow...or something. I don't pretend to know what goes through a sick fucks head. I think seeing him again would be a mistake, as I believe his acts will probably escalate. Not seeing him again might save you, but other providers deserve to know what's up. No woman should be disrespected ..... not like that, and not under any circumstances. P4P is nice.... a chance to meet a beautiful woman, and a woman who is more adventurous than the everyday. But at no point does that donation negate that woman's right to be respected. Sorry....sounds like he's a sick fuck to me.
While I love seeing a beautiful woman's face and lips around my members, I never push her head down hard like this. I find it disrespectful. I will caress her head/face and sometimes help with the motion. Perhaps I'm lucky. Everyone I've seen tends to suck me bone dry and I actually have to tell THEM to stop because it's starting to hurt! It's an amazing feeling to have your member still being sucked up after you've cum. Very sensual.
I’ve had 1 client that intentionally did this and I hit him with an uppercut right to the junk. CIM is not on my menu and he knew that but decided to do it anyway.
He threw a fit and was literally thrown out of the condo I was in naked.
I think Debra is so beautiful that I cannot imagine to do anything forceful to her, unless she asks me because she enjoys it.