This is not about addressing my marriage. I have not had sex in a 3 year and rarely in the last 5 years. Just need to know if you think it is cheating?
I have been going to massage parlor with “full service”.
To her!
Some wives don't want to fuck or just fuck you anymore.
But God help you if you get caught fucking someone else.
Chick logic.
We don't make the rules.
It's why a lot of us are here I assume.
"get caught" means dishonestly breaking an agreement.
Grow a freaking pair and discuss it.
Freaking cowards!
Your assumption here about growing a pair is based on, "one is dealing with a rational person". In 99.99% of these situations, you are dealing with an irrational person. Otherwise, you would not be in the situation to start with, so the size of balls growing doesn't make a bit of difference. Go ahead, she will file for divorce and get more than half of your assets on the basis, you cheated and make you also pay her attorney fees.
Growing balls, is not the answer, may be it is a stupid and dumb answer of misguided "machismo"!!
IMO if you wish to stay married to her then its better to see an escort or go to an AMP then to have a mistress. So much less drama. Id say atleast 75% of my clients are married so youre definitely not alone.
Married guys coming to me usually love their wives and want to stay married, but need that release which is a human physical need.
What you say here fundamentally makes sense, and I think it describes a necessity in a lot of long-term relationships.
Not the same point, but at Francois Mitterand's funeral, his widow and his mistress (with their love child in tow) both attended, and at one point Mrs. Mitterand held the child and consoled her. Say what you will about the French, they're pretty good with life's complexities.
...it's not cheating if you have an open marriage and she is aware of it, but if you're hiding it from her, then IMHO it is cheating. I suppose you could argue that she breached the marriage contract by not fulfilling her wifely duties, but does that really allow you to seek relief elsewhere without trying counseling, etc. first? 
Is this woman in the photo a provider?? If she is I'm making an appointment to see her even if I have to travel to Iceland LMAO!! WOW!! Holy s*&T is she hot or what!!!
then you are already aware you are cheating. If the SO has decided she is no longer interested in sex, then why not? Curious. Have you discussed that she is no longer interested in sex, or are you assuming that she doesn't want any? Have you ever wondered if SHE is getting it elsewhere?
Hahahaha! Do you want us to clear your conscience for you? If you are secretly breaking an agreement, of course it is dishonest (cheating).
I did the last two years of a 16 year marriage without sex. The last few months before I broke up the marriage, I cheated. I justified it because I wanted to fuck and I knew I was going to end the marriage.
I'm not judging anyone. What your next right thing is , is your next right thing. I just can't stand this bullshit that people say that it's not breaking the agreement because she broke the agreement. She's not keeping her break a secret, or being dishonest about it.
If you can't handle your conscience, change the situation. If you decide to do it this way, stop trying to bullshit yourself and us.
Until you get caught. And all married guys that cheat eventually get caught.
WHICH is why Im single and happy
It's easy to know if you are "cheating" or not. If you are hiding what you do from your SO it's cheating. Or let's put it this way, if SHE would think it's cheating if she were to find out, then yes it's cheating.
That said, I doubt many here are going to judge you too harshly for going outside your marriage to get your needs met. I suppose you have your own reasons for remaining in a sexless marriage. Personally, I would just get out of the marriage, but I promised not to judge you "too harshly" lol
Its only cheating if you have sex with her.
but I do like the line of thinking that claims a blow job is not cheating. Don't forget I am half Guido. lol
and speaking strictly for myself after finding out what she looked like, I would like to add "I WOULD not have sex with that woman" lol
Now before the snowflakes chime in with all their faux outrage, I actually voted for him in 96, a decision I do NOT regret, but I was deeply ashamed as an American to find out what a pig the most powerful man in the world was fucking. lol
Note the pause in Clinton's speech ... like inserting a comma ... I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Monica Lewinksi. He's addressing Monica telling her that he didn't sex with Hillary.
I agree 100%, I want my president cheating with a much hotter girl than Lewinsky....
..... being Jewish himself, was reported to have said to Clinton.
" You messed around with a Jewish girl and got yourself a goyish (not Jewish) lawyer. You should have messed around with a goyish girl and got yourself a Jewish lawyer."
He had a Jewish bartender and an Irish psychiatrist.
Bazinga
Its only cheating if you have sex with her.
else thinks? You can't outsource your ethics.
Not judging anyone, ‘cause I’m in the same boat and made my choice. I love sex. Wife don’t care. I need sex. Wife does not. And my wife has been my best friend, laugh-trigger, anchor, and partner in parenting and job-related moving for over two decades.
I made the same rationalization as everyone here. I am not looking for love and connection; I share that with her and she has that part of me. I’m looking for someone to share my physical side. Someone who will appreciate the attention I put into being a good lover. Shit, someone who’ll acknowledge that a lifetime 5-day-a-week gym habit has left me in pretty fucking good shape for a dude my age. Someone who is beautiful, sexy, and responsive. And above all: someone who will not cross my life outside that hotel room. Without this, I’d resent my wife 24/7. With this, I’m at peace.
The tougher thing for me to rationalize is the money. Our money is our money. It’s not like I have a secret income source. I’ve developed private payment routes over the years for security, but at the end of the day — I’m taking our money to pay for my hobby. Not cool, no matter which way you turn it.
If it's all consenting adults here, or if 12 year olds are visiting this site behind their parents' backs and posting stupid questions.
If it's all consenting adults here, or if 12 year olds are visiting this site behind their parents' backs and posting stupid questions.
Have you asked her why? What was the sex before? If she was a horny gal , than she either doesn't want you or she's getting something on the side. All relationship can grow stale & everyone looses their "new car smell" at some point.
Has she started any medications? A lot of meds can destroy a libido.
But to most p4p would be considered cheating.
There’s a solution, and it’s spelled
D I V O R C E
And it’s worth every penny.
Like it or not, you are betraying this person with whom you’ve made a promise. I’m not at all judging you, just stating the brutal facts.
If you’re ok doing so, that’s your integrity and not mine, and I’ll never try to impose my integrity on you.
Divorce her and you need not concern yourself with that dilemma again. I can assure you if she isn’t making some sort of an effort to satisfy your needs, she no longer respects or loves you. “If the roller coaster is broken, they don’t close the entire amusement park”.
FUCK MARRIAGE!
... of why someone who doesn't know ALL details of a committed relationship should never give advice about whether to end said relationship.
I can assure you that it's possible for someone to love and respect his/her partner deeply but not be able to satisfy their needs for intimacy.
Also, divorce may be the best solution for YOU in such a situation, but there's others who would never consider abandoning their commitment to their spouse just because they're unable to meet needs for intimacy.
... for simple infidelity. There are legitimate reasons to get a divorce ... not liking the person you are married to ... hopelessly in love with someone else (who is ready do commit.) But simple infidelity where the marriage is otherwise okay ... are friendly, have children, have invested in the future together ... divorce is idiotic. That's why if you are going to be unfaithful sexually, don't get caught. Because your spouse will seek a divorce for idiotic reasons. Save her from her idiotic self.
... for simple infidelity. There are legitimate reasons to get a divorce ... not liking the person you are married to ... hopelessly in love with someone else (who is ready do commit.) But simple infidelity where the marriage is otherwise okay ... are friendly, have children, have invested in the future together ... divorce is idiotic. That's why if you are going to be unfaithful sexually, don't get caught. Because your spouse will seek a divorce for idiotic reasons. Save her from her idiotic self.
Divorce affects your finances (you will both be poorer), it affects your kids and all of you immediate family in some way.
If you can't stand the person you are living with and your are living stressed out, you can be assured that your kids see it and you are probably better of divorced.
If all it takes is an occasional sexual romp to keep the marriage together, then I would never recommend that a family break up just for that. In all likelihood, if you wife found out, it would lead to divorce. But play smart, play safe, and don't break up a marriage just for sex.
....... everyone has different priorities. Thankfully, I didn't break up my 2nd marriage just because of the sexual issue. It was a sign of a much more complex situation.
Not my place to judge what is right or wrong for you. But, it is my place to judge what is right or wrong for me.
You saw a provider together? I see a lot of couples and a lot of times it seems to bring some spice back into the relationship. Is that something you think she might be open to? If so, you should bring it up to her in a comfortable setting and see what her response is. You might be pleasantly surprised....or you might get a drink thrown in your face....if that's a risk you're willing to take, go for it lol.
Her hubby cheated on her for a while, and finally fessed up and served her papers. She stopped having sex with him. She went apeshit and was destroyed for a while there.
He ended up staying with her, they went to counseling, and now they're gross, pervy auntie and uncle.
This is how it went down. He walked in the door to grab more of this shit, she was waiting, dressed sexy, and seduced him... or as she says, "jumped him,". He stayed.
It had been years of denying sex. She told me later, "You know, he cheated, but I betrayed him. I was sick. I had a very good excuse, health issues, but I could have fixed those health issues to be more there for him. Marrying someone and condemning them to the rest of their life with no sex is very mean and unfair. You have to accept, if you are going to do that, they're going to get it somewhere else, because it is a real need."
Then she shuddered, and said "I see it now, and I'm still pissed off. But I don't blame him for it. What are you gonna do, you know?"
Life is messy sometimes.
The massage gal, not your wife.
Honestly, this can be discussed forever and there will never be a definitive answer.
This happened to me, and I made my choice, then I got sued for divorce and paid for my choice - big time.
But in hindsight, I think I made the right one, but it was the right one for me.
Just let me leave you with one thought: You live only once, and then you're dead for a very long time.
Go for it.
And he says no sex in the past 3 to 5 years...how bout those 5 to 10 years prior?
You gotta be joking by asking this, right? Would it be cheating if your wife went n saw male escorts?
-- Modified on 1/18/2018 3:08:31 PM
Cheating!! Its ALWAYS cheating when your wife does it because she doesn't have the same good reasons to do that you do.
You need to seek counseling and fix it or move on. Confront the problem. Be free to do as you please. You will feel much better if you can either fix the problem or move on from it.
Check with Bill Clinton..
The Love And Companionship..Family ...is the most important 😚
The Love And Companionship..Family ...is the most important 😚
I see it happen all the time in marriages. Wife gets to a certain stress threshold of taking care of elderly parents and their children too. Help it's even a new thing that grandparents are raising babies again or the caretakers of others until there is nothing left to give at the end of the day. And the sex life slowly fades away. Then come the pills for the wife's depression that completely destroys her libido and ability to orgasm; but she is coping and still taking care of everyone.
Pleasure is not bad. My having pleasure deprives no one else.
Getting caught is bad.
If you're going to "cheat" be discreet. Don't get caught. What someone doesn't know (about you having pleasure) won't hurt them.
and I am. I never wanted this but after way too many years of once a year... and many conversations which only established that she's in denial. I actually think she's asexual.
Then it went to zero. After 3 years I realized I wasn't going to ever get sex at home. She has consistatly rejected, avoided, changed the subject every time. I had a choice, no sex or go elsewhere. I went elsewhere. It's been 5 more years. Wife is happy with no sex.
This is not what I wanted. I've learned to accept it for what it is.
She stopped with sex.... so she has no right to an opinion. When my wife stopped...I waited 16 years.. then saw a girl once a week for the last 4 years... I'm not so much of a jerk at home any more
end this thread by having the ladies think you are cheating on them with your hand.
.... my second ex wife after she stopped wanting sex, used to say that I had an excellent intimate relationship with myself.
Menopause certainly paused her.
Lucky for you I have a married/daddy fetish lol. I will definitely take care of you and give you what you've been missing
and quit asking stupid fucking questions - You cheater!!!
Absolutely not I do not think because you hire a sex worker or an escort is cheating on your wife you and your wife took vows whenever you took those vows for better and For Worse and as far as I'm concerned she your wife is the one who broke those valves by not giving you sex knowing you need it so hobby on brother.
That was one long sentence! Yes I agree with you completely though, even about the broken "valves"😂
When a marriage goes sexless, the one ending the sex is the one that cheated the other out of their due right in a marriage..... SEX! Even if the woman goes through menopause, I still believe it is a wifey duty to still satisfy her husband. For better OR worse!
No worries though! For many women that stop fucking her husband, a hooker gets a client that appreciates getting off 😀
XOXO
TL
I've been the recipient of crappy duty sex. When i was in my teens or twenties, just fucking a hole may have been good enough. But, fucking someone that you know isn't doing it for the pleasure of it, or at least can't really act like she wants it, is no fun at all.
I'd rather not do it at all.
That's why hooker sex is so great. At least the great ones can give the impression that they really want to be doing it.
And I know one or two really great ones.
its cheating if you dont tell your wife about it..tell her...set up an overnight threesome...find out whats wrong...hope she doesnt leave with her!...
I sure like the way you think! 😀🙄😏😚
XOXO
TL
Providers hate it when they walk into a situation like that. It can be real drama that they don't need or want.
FWIW, I did set up at least 3 threesomes with my ex to try and move things along. They went pretty well but she ended up divorcing me anyways, and our sex life never returned.
It was meant to be. No regrets. (except the alimony thing, of course 8o(
If getting married equals no sex with your wife what are the benefits? Many of my regulars are in the same situation. They have partners that have not had sex with them in years. WTF? I am baffled. What do these women expect you to please yourself for the rest of your life? Masturbation alone gets boring. If she is not sucking, or fucking go get your dick wet. No need to ask is it cheating because she clearly does not give shit about making you happy. A blow job can always help any situation. lol I could not imagine a sexless life, while living with an SO. Preposterous.
Everyone deserves love & affection this is why I returned from retirement.
I'm sure there are sexless marriages. But I am also sure guys lie to escorts about being in sexless marriages ... most everyone wants to look justified in what they do. I "cheat" for variety, pure and simple. I have no intention of seeking a divorce ... or telling her about my activities. She's happy not knowing. I'm happy doing it. Why spoil everything with a stupid divorce or letting her find out?
Now for sure I'm not going to marry my favorite provider. I like her just the way she is now. Gorgeous, open minded, awesome sex, great attitude. If we get married I know all of these qualities will be gone.
Now for sure I'm not going to marry my favorite provider. I like her just the way she is now. Gorgeous, open minded, awesome sex, great attitude. If we get married I know all of these qualities will be gone.
Yeah, it is cheating. At least that is how the courts will see it. The right to have sex isn't a civil right or even a human right. So here we have a situation where the one person in the whole universe that you have a legal right to copulate with, the only person who has the legal right to provide you with sex - she has no legal obligation to fulfill her duty and no legal penalties if she refuses you sex. Did you know that a husband can be thrown in jail for "raping" his wife? So you go and cheat, perhaps just because you were trying to survive and stay sane. And now the consequences of her frigidity is you lose 50% or more of your assets and go through the pain and struggle of deconstructing a life built together, all because you wanted something that should be a basic human right.
MOST marriages start off hot and heavy with plenty of sex. Then over time, the wife changes and slows down or even stops wanting sex.
Damn near every man I've talked to, wants sex as long as they can still do it.
I was married and together for 18 years and never strayed. We always had a very gpod sex life, and I was pretty much happy with it.
Also, I could never afford the cost of p4p while I was married. She always seemed to spend just a little more than I could make.....smh.
I wonder how pissed these wives would be if they found out what their husbands are really spending on pussy. (Considering it's "her" money too...lol)
What is a horny married man supposed to do?
I have been in the industry for 9 months now. I have met all sorts of men. Many of the men are in the same situation. I understand that men need intimacy and sex more than most women. If you aren't receiving, your love tank is empty. It impacts a lot of aspects of who you are. I for one don't believe it is cheating if she is aware that she is depriving her husband or using it for control in the marriage.
Claire 🌺
I believe if you are paying for a service then it's not cheating. It's a transaction. No emotion. Is a strip club cheating? Some might say yes. Is watching porn, cheating? Some may say so. No emotion and it's a service that you pay for, not cheating. Period.
Guilt trip? or seeking approval?
Do what you think is necessary for you to be happy. Whys should you be miserable and not get your basic needs satisfied, just because you married someone you loved and was unable forecast, you will end up in sexless marriage, years later.