TER General Board

The *Real* Real GFE
theoldcavalier 2 Reviews 2049 reads
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Ah, the elusive GFE. What is it, really? Every one of us who seek it probably means something a little different. Every one of the ladies who offer it, too. And of course some who *claim* to, are apparently offering the Lewis Carroll Humpty Dumpty GFE. ("When *I* use a word ... it means just what I choose it to mean — neither more nor less.")

 
But, gentlemen, it could be so much worse. Let's remember some of our real girlfriends ... and imagine what the Girl Friend Experience might be, if our Playground of the Damned® were a little more like civilian life:

 
GFE #1:

 
You arrive at the incall and put the donation on the table.  You put your arms around her and lean in for a kiss.  She pushes you gently away and says, "Hey, you're a very nice guy and I really like you--just not that way.  Let's be friends."

 
GFE #2:

 
You're both undressed, things are starting well, as you kiss you touch her tongue with yours. She pulls away and says, "I don't do that." OK, whatever. Things progress, you indicate a nice BJ would be welcome. She stiffens and says, "I don't do that." A few minutes later, hoping maybe at least a little DATY might be on the menu, you start to move south. She clamps her legs together, jumps into a tight crouch at the head of the bed, and hisses, "What is WRONG with you??"

 
GFE #3:

 
You put the donation on the table and excuse yourself. When you come out, she's sitting on the bed, fully dressed, and pats a spot a foot away to invite you to sit down. You do, wondering what's going on. She looks at you with a very serious expression and says, "We have to talk."

 
GFE #4:

 
You arrive at the address and she texts you the room number. You find the door and are about to knock, when you hear sounds from inside that tell you clearly that the hot session you were looking forward to has started without you. Then you see the note taped to the door (in magenta ink, with hearts over the i's and smiley faces inside the o's):

 
"I'm sooooo sorry! I know I should have told you sooner, but there just wasn't a good way to say it. I hope you can forgive me. xoxo P.S. Just slide the envelope under the door, thx!"

 
GFE #5:

 
You decide to try an outcall. The evening of the appointment, you clean up your place, take a shower, shave, brush your teeth and rinse with mouthwash, get dressed, make sure an assortment of drinks is ready, and check the clock. Ten minutes to go. Cool. You check yourself in the mirror, straighten out a few magazines, pace around, and settle down to watch the time as it goes from five minutes till, to the hour, to five minutes past. No problem. At ten minutes past the hour you think, Should I contact her? Nah, she's just stuck in traffic. Finally, at fifteen minutes, you venture a text. "Hi, looking forward to seeing you. Everything OK?" No answer. OK, she'll be here any minute, calm down. At 25 past you try again, and this time you get a reply:

 
"WILL U STOP BUGGING ME!!!! IM ALMOST THERE, OK??"

 
When she finally shows up 45 minutes late, she's drunk and in a foul mood. She starts a fight as soon as she walks in about something you don't remember doing. In fact it's a pretty good bet you didn't do it, since you've never laid eyes on her before this moment. You end up apologizing anyway just to stop her screaming and throwing things. After calling you a few more choice names and adding that your place is a dump, she storms off, snatching up the envelope on her way out and slamming the door so hard that your favorite picture, the one your college girlfriend bought for you in Paris, falls off the wall and shatters on the floor.

You have one session with her and all the sudden she starts talking about marriage and your future and how many kids you're gonna have together. You try to ignore her but she keeps calling. You block her. She slides into your DM's on Instagram. Blocked again. Now she starts contacting you on FB. Block her there. Then she reaches out to all of your family and friends on Facebook to ask where you are and that she's really worried. This girl is nuts.  

Thank God she doesn't have your address... SHIT. You posted your job up on Facebook. You delete it quickly. Maybe she dint see it?  

You're at work the next day and see a black car waiting outside. You leave work and feel like someone is following you but you're not sure because it's dark. You get home. Black car pulls up... it's her. She gets out the car and asks why you haven't answered her... you're fucked. She now knows where you live and plus you have another girl coming over...  

For $1000 extra she can hide in your house overnight and attack the bitch lol

Posted By: sierrasweetmt
For $1000 extra she can hide in your house overnight and attack the bitch lol
That part might not go over too well with Mrs. Cavalier, but hey, at that point I guess I'm fucked anyway ... :-D

You show up and she's on the phone with her mother having a screaming match during which she hangs up on her 4 times, and each time her mom calls her back, she denies that she ever hung up.   This last for at least an hour till you sneak out.

 
This is based on a true story, by the way.

I love your stories Mr Fisher - but I'm glad mine don't match!

Good grief, that sounds awful. Did you pay her?

Didn't you have a story that involved you being out and about with a provider during a blizzard? Possibly at a graveyard? Maybe that was someone else.

But the graveyard in a blizzard story was with a provider, but since she is Scottish, I made concessions. 8o).  I still see that gal, she's mellowed a bit with age.

You arrive at her dingy, dark trick pad and she's smoking...  

Offers you a drink but only has tap water.  

Takes off her stained T-Shirt and torn jeans and says everything is available, but she needs to pick up her girl friend at  the bus station so you need to hurry, hun.  

You decide to go for it anyway 'casue - penis.  

As you get closer you notice that her kitchen garbage bin smells like 3-day old fried fish...  

The you realize the smell isn't coming from the kitchen.  

You drop the donation in case her pimp is carrying heat and leave to the sound oh her coughing on cigarette smoke.

A gal you've seen quite a few times over several years & thought you had a connection.  You always stop & pick up lunch fixings to share.  
 You're just getting back in the car from shopping & she's blowing up your phone asking why you're not there yet.  (Did she forget you buy lunch?)  You promise you are on your way but it's still an hour drive.  
You arrive & she's in a foul mood... seems her daughter is getting married in a few days & she has a long list to do.  You wish you'd known because you'd have rescheduled.  You spend a half hour of her precious time calming her down.  You just know it's not gonna go well.  
You do have a session but she's so wound it's not up to par.  You share the lunch you brought (she keeps the rest as always) & you're outta there.  
Long drive home... you wish you'd left the lunch & donation (Since you'd promised you were coming) & just walked.    

I got this one ...
Bro, you are one lucky dude. Rock on?

The examples you gave are exactly the reasons why red pill men seek GFE in the hobby world as opposed to the civvie world where bitches have a mind of their own, and let their egos get in the way of having what would've otherwise been a seamless and agreeable experience. Btw, the poor schmuck in the GFE#4 scenario deserves to get conned if he actually slips the envelope beneath the door.

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