TER General Board

Advice on demanding provider
ucdiv001 17 Reviews 2669 reads
posted

I see a provider semi regularly, once every 3-4 months. We have a good time and it’s been like this for a few years.  

She’s s been reaching out to me all week via text letting me know she’s available. She’s progressively discounted her donation to about half her normal ask. I called her today and she seemed a little demanding that I see her tonight, saying she would stay late at her incall last midnight just to see me.  

What’s thrown me off about this is that this is all uncharacteristic—reaching out to me, discounting so much, and staying late at her incall. She sounded a bit desperate to be honest.  

I feel there’s something going on—she might need money and is desperate for some reason. (I don’t know her to do drugs)  

My question: what to do? Let it go, try to help, or just go ahead and have a good time? Am I walking into a potential problem here?

Not a lot of successful mind readers here. Specially if you think you know what a woman is thinking.

I ask if that sort of thing comes up. Just grow a pair and communicate.  
Might improve the relationship.  

Have fun.

Posted By: micktoz
Re: Who freaking knows?  
Not a lot of successful mind readers here. Specially if you think you know what a woman is thinking.  
   
 I ask if that sort of thing comes up. Just grow a pair and communicate.  
 Might improve the relationship.

Yeah, it's a lot easier to guess what a guy might say. I'll stick with not being able to to tell what a woman is thinking.
Hahaha

Tippecanoe45 reads

Abbreviated version:  

Man is granted a wish by a Genie. Asks for a bridge from LA to Hawaii. The Genie laughs at him and says are you freaking crazy? Do you know the engineering behind that, the months it will take, you're crazy!

The man thinks about it and says, "ok, how about letting me read minds and know what a woman is thinking?"

Genie says, "You want that two lanes or four?"

 
She needs money, the monkey is a terrible when he's on your back. She needs a fix.  That simple.

LMAO.... aaaaah. I love that joke!! Haven't heard it in awhile either. Soooo so true though. Communication is King every time. Be gentle & kind in words. Ask also what her expectations are from you (going forward) & kindly define yours. Good luck!!  

P.S. Assume nothing. we've all been in a tough spot before (at some time in our lives), be it a cash problem or otherwise.  
Hugs all.

And Happy Valentines, TER friends!!!

Then don’t ignore the red flag.  If she has never offered a discount before why now.  Nothing wrong with saying you can’t make it happen and then contact her down the road.  Don’t know your past relationship with her but if this is way off then pass.  

souls_harbor48 reads

Of course she is desperate for cash.  

enough with time and frequency, for you to ask her what is going on?  stop wondering and guessing because you would probably never guess correctly anyway.  That is too much mental energy wasted.  You are not out of line since she reached out to you out of the norm.

Not going to get better advice than that.

in need of cash. But I don't think it's for a drug fix. She's been talking at you all week. If she needed a fix she'd not drag it out that long. She'd go right to her low number to get the money.  

My best guess is she's owes on something to someone and she's getting more and more desperate to gather the funds. Maybe her business has slowed and her reduced cash flow is putting her behind. In my experience, not all, but most providers are very liberal in their spending habits. In other words, usually they don't save worth a damn. So when business slows they find themselves in need.

Posted By: ucdiv001

I see a provider semi regularly, once every 3-4 months. We have a good time and it’s been like this for a few years.  
   
 She’s s been reaching out to me all week via text letting me know she’s available. She’s progressively discounted her donation to about half her normal ask. I called her today and she seemed a little demanding that I see her tonight, saying she would stay late at her incall last midnight just to see me.  
   
 What’s thrown me off about this is that this is all uncharacteristic—reaching out to me, discounting so much, and staying late at her incall. She sounded a bit desperate to be honest.  
   
 I feel there’s something going on—she might need money and is desperate for some reason. (I don’t know her to do drugs)  
   
 My question: what to do? Let it go, try to help, or just go ahead and have a good time? Am I walking into a potential problem here?
 

Rent money or something.  Or business is slow.  
I wouldn't necessarily avoid her but you have to decide your budget & time.  If you want to help her out, that's fine.  But I'd see her on my terms, not hers.  I'd not be out after midnight If that's not my usual thing.        

Analias47 reads

and she is on crutches you will know that she had a debt that needed to be paid.

... especially if you don't have good health insurance.  Which is the case for many self-employed people.

With the majority of Americans having less than $1000 saved, all it takes is one unexpected expense to put a person in the hole... and offering discounts to good customers.  

Funniest post I have read on TER in at least 2-3 years!!!!

Posted By: SpectreNBond
Re: Did you bbfs with her....
....about 9 months ago

May be we can help in another way?  I would be willing to go her way if I knew who she is.  But I don't want you to advertise her so how can this work?

Maybe ask her what's going on with her right now. Just keep this in mind If you go down this road with her, she may repeat this behavior again. You've known her for a while so do what you are comfortable with.

Steph XO

Can you imagine the horror of having some hottie reducing her rates for you lower and lower and DEMANDING you come fuck her. Perish the thought. lol

 
I just don't get the mindset of some guys. If I liked fucking her at $300 hr, am I really going to have half the fun at half the price?  

 
Since the odds of her having fallen head over heels with him in love, it's pretty fucking obvious she simply is in a bind and needs the money. If she starts doing this on a regular basis, I hardly see that as a problem. I have actually encouraged this type of thing with many ladies, I have offered myself to literally be their ATM, They agree to come see me at a certain rate, and I agree to see them as often as they like. Win Win.

with constant texts, calls ect. If he feels pressured to see her because she sounds desperate IMO that's not fun. Helping a lady out of a spot and taking advantage of a special rate, and he feels good about it, yes it's a win win!

Steph XO

Several people, guys and girls alike, feel like he is being pressured. Some of us look at it a lot more like you describe it,  "helping a lady out of a spot and taking advantage of a special rate"

 
It's not like he just met her, he says he's been seeing her for years. I don't get why he needs the board to weigh in on this, he knows if she's a nut case or not, and it's not like he's a newbie, he's been here for years. It sounds like his unasked question is if anyone thinks she has been flipped by LE and is trying set him up, and of course he is the only that can answer that question.

Tippecanoe40 reads

I tried helping a girl out, but she was on the horse. It was get me off as quickly as possible, which wasn't necessarily a bad thing, but it was rushed and run out the door. Always good to know the reason so you can plan accordingly. She was very intent on getting it over as quickly as possible so she was willing to do some extras, like the back door.

You know, to be honest, LE is one of the fears in the back of my mind. I have always had this concern ever since starting off in the hobby and a lot of times when things felt shady I walked the other way, and something about this has me thinking LE or some other kind of trouble that I don't want to be part of.

Tippecanoe43 reads

Too often little head thinks for big head. Always trust your instincts IMHO. Failing that keep your eyes and ears open.

She has fallen in love with you and wants to have your children.  She will keep discounting, so don't give in too early.  If you wait her out, in the end she will be willing to pay YOU to come and see her.  Ain't love grand?

Regarding my previous response “funniest post I’ve seen on TER in 2-3yrs”...

This is the second funniest!

Posted By: coeur-de-lion
Re: Its pretty obvious . . . .
She has fallen in love with you and wants to have your children.  She will keep discounting, so don't give in too early.  If you wait her out, in the end she will be willing to pay YOU to come and see her.  Ain't love grand?

She's offered a discount, not a bad thing. She might be in a bind and my thinking is this. If you're in the "mood" you have the time and you do know her, what's the big deal? See her, you'll maybe be helping her out, you'll feel better...and after all you did call her so there must have been some interest on your part.
So go have a good time.....that's what I would do.

...might want more $,but i think they would ask for longer appts,not cheaper rates....maybe there is a major problem..maybe she wants to just hang with you....my last "offered" discount came from a provider who got upset,that i had an appt w her housemate...

In the big scheme of things, this is the kind of demand most of us hobbyists would love to receive. 😉
I imagine I would be inclined to take that offer if I were in your shoes...

It is that simple. As to why she is offering this discount, and contacting you. Who knows. But it likely not your business, unless she has feelings for you or something like that. She likely needs money for whatever reason and she knows your safe and respectful. So she offered you a discount. Discounts are not a bad thing.  

But always listen to your gut as it can save you so many headaches. Also if she tells you she needs help. Only help her if you want to and it won't put you out. Don't expect anything in return as that leads  to bad feelings. It just isn't worth the aggravation.

imanalias44 reads

Seriously why not? If she brings up issues and ruins the mood leave.

Thanks everyone for your thoughts. I have decided to give it a pass. She has been texting me all day (last one just five minutes ago). I asked if she needed money, was ok, and she said everything was fine. I am just not feeling comfortable with this. I prefer to go about the hobby on my terms and am not enjoying the heavy sell (even if it is literally more bang for my buck!).

A good problem to have though!!

Good choice glad to see someone is thinking with big head.  It always amazes me how much opportunity a woman can do in this business between finances, and time to set themselves up well for the long run and don't.  Maybe if you see her again encourage a side business. It might now pay what escorts makes but in the end those 1000's add up for rainy days.

Forgive me for pointing out what seems obvious, but I don’t understand why you are confused.

You see her fairly regularly anyway, at what I can only assume is her usual posted (non-discounted) rates. It is obvious she is trying to wrangle up some immediate funds for some reason or another. Since you see her somewhat regularly, an offer to see her at a discounted rate is not a loss for you.

That being said...if you book a session at a discount and during your time with her she explains her situation to you...my only suggestion would be this:
If you are inclined to help her further by offering her more money, only offer an amount you are comfortable giving her as a gift with no further expectation. This will ensure no damage to the existing relationship/respect.

 
Xxx
Maddy

Posted By: ucdiv001

I see a provider semi regularly, once every 3-4 months. We have a good time and it’s been like this for a few years.  
   
 She’s s been reaching out to me all week via text letting me know she’s available. She’s progressively discounted her donation to about half her normal ask. I called her today and she seemed a little demanding that I see her tonight, saying she would stay late at her incall last midnight just to see me.  
   
 What’s thrown me off about this is that this is all uncharacteristic—reaching out to me, discounting so much, and staying late at her incall. She sounded a bit desperate to be honest.  
   
 I feel there’s something going on—she might need money and is desperate for some reason. (I don’t know her to do drugs)  
   
 My question: what to do? Let it go, try to help, or just go ahead and have a good time? Am I walking into a potential problem here?

Don't overthink it.  
Enjoy your time together.
It sounds like you are each others ATF's.  

 
Kisses

Elle Vegas (the Sexy Swinger)

ILoveAsses43 reads
H

I had a girlfriend almost 20 years ago now.  Highly educated, great professional job that she woke up every morning to go to, almost geeky in her goodness.  She got really involved in yoga and often preferred that than to seeing me.  Didn’t bother me much until one day she said something that didn’t make sense—that she was sick and didn’t want company and then later that she was going to be doing yoga for the next three hours and did no want to be disturbed out of her spiritual trance—or something that made me cock my head to the side and raise one of my ears.  Well, in a moment of stalkerishness, I drove by her place.  Her car wasn’t there.  So, a couple of days later, I stopped by and told her that I saw her car wasn’t there.  She broke down and told me everything....

....she was a heroine junky.  I was like, “What???” and then I was just speechless while she went on with her confession that she started using again not long after we met.  I just sat there listening and thinking, “What did you just say???”.

Speaking from experience, you would have no clue if she was using heroine.  Some other drugs, you would know.  But with heroine, unless you know the difference between sexy eyes and nodding off or can tell a Maralyn Monroe voice from a junky drawl, you wouldn’t have any idea that she was using heroine.

If she’s calling and texting by the minute, I’d bet you whatever her fee is that she’s doing heroine.  Looking back on it, I really wish that I had stuck around to see that girlfriend through her crisis.  I was so freaked out that I drifted away from her fairly quickly.  It’s probably good advice to get away from that kind of environment ASAP.  And I’m certainly not advocating getting enmeshed in some type of enabler role.  But, if you like her at all (sounds like you do), you might stop in some time and ask her if she needs help finding a program.  Heroine eventually kills because of inconsistent product.  You might feel bad if you found out she stopped calling you because she overdosed.  

The hobby is supposed to be fun and worry free. In my opinion, if you are in need of asking for advice then it's time to move on my friend.

Register Now!