How many of you take advantage of the PM system here to make decisions about ladies you're thinking about seeing? It seems like the most valuable part of TER- the ability to communicate with fellow lady lovers. Reviews are fraught with issues, so are not the most reliable gauge of a good time.
If I were a client, I would totally take advantage of this. I'd be making friends with everyone here who seemed to like the same kinds of companions I liked. I'd ask them very specific questions about a potential companion's personality and demeanor. What kinds of things do you look for? Do you ask your friends here? Do you feel awkward PMing someone out of the blue?We make recommendations to each other, pass on valued info about a girl that may have changed recently that isn't shown on her profile and connect friends with other friends who may have info that I personally cant help them with.
The reviews and pms go hand in hand though. If a gal doesn't it make it past the profile/review part of my selection process, there is no need to send pms.
By the time it gets to the pm, I want to know the real deal with menu, rate, clock watching, sanity and whether she is fun loving/not jaded,.
Many girls here have their guys set her profile for the general public, but have a much different menu for certain, specific types of clients or they just don't want a certain act known to all and pm is one way to find this out.
Never once felt awkward about sending a pm as I would only feel awkward by not sending them. lol
...just kidding, jeesh. Here's something from one of your bros.
...you should keep your hands away from her hair... just sayin'
I get PM's all the time..they read my review of a certain lady and would like an up close and personal opinion that is totally unvarnished..using the PM system is an invaluable tool to find the right match for yourself or for a fellow monger..
After a few reviews and weeding thru the bs you can tell if the person is right for you. No need to pm
I must have gotten a half dozen inquiries about gals I have seen.
One time I received an unsolicited recommendation about someone that turned out to be solid gold.
...I've actually had drinks w local hobby friends to discuss local providers to see who's done what..who you should see..who you should stay away from...CIM is something I like and I do ask about that...have a many PM's from last 4 reviews...
...it didn't turn out well for them.
info meeting in public with your hobby bro's. Breakfast seems to work best, at least for a while. You should pick a noisy family restaurant with lots of families with kids around where people won't pay attention to what you're saying. A location like that will allow you to expand the group. There will be new guys show up, but they are MOSTLY other hobbyists. Let the other guys vet them, that way, you'll feel safe. You could even come up with a really cool name, like "League of Extraordinary Gentlemen." Makes you all sound really elite.
In general, PMs are a great social network.
I find the reviews to be quite helpful with or without PMing the actual reviewers, but I do agree PM's can be of a lot of use of that they are a great social network as well. I think between my inbox and sent items I have close to 30,000 of them since I've been here. lol
In general, PMs are a great social network.
Maybe it's because people don't want to talk to you...
Naw. When I delurked here three years ago I went back and forth with quite a few. In order for it to work you have to find somebody with almost the same tastes.
Guys who give 8-10's to girls who are really only a real life 5-6 are just as useless in PMs. As far as service goes: Hey if she has 20 reviews and they all mention CIM and other services that are in the profile PMs are not necessary.
In long defunct groups there was useful info in men's only private forums but TER does not really have anything like that. TER does not serve my area that well so that makes it more difficult.
Some of us, as Jack said above, have a network of TER contacts and fellow reviewers who will share info to confirm or rebut what we read in reviews.
Maybe you're so angry because lack of good intel has left you with many shitty dates?
All I'm going to say to that is that plenty of shitty dates happened even with recommendations. Sounded like a bunch of lapdogs to me. Not to mention guys who have their own agenda for recommending a certain girl.
My best dates have been when I acted as a lone wolf playing a lone hand. That and the reviews were enough. To get what you want you have to be a leader not a follower.
From what I've seen posted in here I would not trust 90% of you as far as I can throw a bull elephant. Too much hooker ass kissing for me.
Another problem is that a "10" on the East Coast or Midwest might only be considered a "7" in California. This makes it tough to decide what visiting girl to see.
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You have to be able to form relationships with mongers whose reviews match up with yours and develop some trust. Going to M&Gs helps. Reading reviews of guys who have reviewed the same women you have helps, too. It takes time but it's possible to develop a network of guys you can trust. I have rarely been disappointed.
the internet. You know, Al Gore invented it so it must be good. Whatever you can find on the internet must be true.
No one here will doubt you being an anti-social asshole.
I try to use them but replies are few and far between. Perhaps because I am a newbie... personally I try to use PM to validate that a provider is legitimate as a cross reference that she is not a crazy or drunk... pretty much my goal is to ask non intrusive questions that make me feel safer ...
I don't ever ask for details or anything that would betray trust...
that I haven't discussed with a few of my local hobby brothers in the cities I hobby in. Good intel is what keeps you from a bad match. You have to develop a network of guys who like the same types of girls that you like and then exchange information about new girls you're seeing. Periodically, you have to purge the leeches from the group that are getting info but not contributing any. Also, it doesn't always work. I saw a new girl this morning that was highly recommended by two guys, great service, but she just wasn't my style (If they shove their tongue past my tonsils, its a turnoff), so no repeat for me. (She still got a tip for trying her best.) This is an exception, most times, it saves me money to have PM info.
if someone decides they want to spread false rumors about someone, that's all it takes. There are many more sinners here than saints unfortunately.
I've found the opposite to be true. If I find something iffy in a review and ask the reviewer about it, it's almost always just poor writing and my mind is put at-ease via PM with the reviewer.
I can see that occasionally happening when you have a 1:1, but if you're messaging everyone who's seen a provider in the last few months, you're likely going to get more honesty than anything else. If someone has something false to say, it's easy enough to ask everyone else you've messaged about it. If they don't corroborate, then you know who's advice to ignore.
So really, just be smart and weed out the sinners from the saints. Easy enough.
Yes, of course, easy enough
I find the reviews pretty useful. Just like any other data you have to be able to put it in proper context. A necessary evil I suppose. But I feel extremely awkward PMing another guy about the details of his encounter. Sure, PMing facilitates a little bit of social networking. In terms of receiving PMs, over the past couple of months I have received several dozen. A few of them creeped me out at the beginning. There was this one guy, for example, who would PM me after every review that I wrote. Super creepy dude. In terms of data points, simplicity is key, but I feel that length of encounter should be a mandatory field (e.g., choose 1 hour or less, 1-2 hours, more than 2 hours). And I wish that there was some sort of way for TER to track NCNS or ladies that flake --- basically more pre-appointment information. Is she generally very responsive? Does the lady tend to cancel often? How does she prioritize appointments? I just want to minimize the amount of my time that is wasted and be enabled to move on quickly. That information has value to me. The poster has a fair point --- personality and demeanor information could be helpful. I'm not sure what else, however?
thought provoking and tend to generate considerable discussion.
In response to your question, I sometimes PM someone I know who has seen a provider that I am interested in seeing. In over 10+ years of P4P, I have a small network of guys (no slight to lopaw, I don't know any female providers in Florida) I trust to give me an accurate answer to any question I may have.
I have also PM'd random guys who are active in cities I might be visiting to get a local viewpoint.
TMI in PMs. Indiscreet gents can give out too much personal information on someone that can be used against them. I was recently made aware of a nasty man making the rounds who does just this- uses PMed info against the ladies, and some serious harm has come to some of them. So please be careful about with whom you choose to share stuff and why they want particular information!
Thanks for the answers- they're really interesting. All across the board.
I've received PMs from mongers with no review or posting history or even using an alias asking for information about a provider. These requests should go ignored.
Yeah, I get those. Specially weird are the alias pm's asking about a lady's specific body parts. "Does she have a big......... Does she have.......?"
I do have a few well known reviewers that I share some reasonable information about ladies I have seen in cities that I travel to. And I ask about some of the ladies they would suggest when I travel somewhere new.
but if a reviewer mentions extra services from a FBSM provider I might ask what the upcharge was, how many times he saw her before getting upgraded services, etc...
I have PM'd reviewers thanking them for what appears to be an honest heads-up on a relatively new girl.
I generally use pms to reach out to ladies who I'm interested in. How they respond, and how much they respond, tells me how likely they are to have chemistry with me.
I found the best way to get a feel on their personality is via their twitter time line and board posts. Although I have had ladies go into a pretty long email response back (not about the Hobby, but about themselves) whenever I have contacted the few.
I tend to keep my emails short and to the point. I likely come off to business orientated. Most people have read my tweets or board posts here though, so I guess that helps me.
I get it Van. Personality matters and is a deal breaker for me.