Hey everyone.. Curiousity question... Wanted to get opinions, suggestions, etc from anyone willing to respond. A large part of my enjoyment when with a lady comes from knowing she is also enjoying themselves. If I know that how I am treating her is leading to her having a good time, I will have that much more of a good time myself. I know that each person seeks out whatever for their own reasons, but I wanted to know if having a 'BFE' for the providers was important as well? And, (aside from the obvious) what do you like to see from the hobbyist. Is this something as a hobbyist you try to provide as well...?
I'm so glad you asked! Yes, absolutely, yes!! Of course! I not only thoroughly enjoy BEING the GFE, but I love having you as my fantasy BFE! I want the man to show me every nook and cranny of his Being, and why I should adore him above all others! It can be as real or as make believe as he wants to get! And I want Robin Hood one night, and my Gladiator another! And surprises - I don't care - little ones, silly ones. And lots of looking in my eyes, touching, carressing of my face - and hand holding! And saying soft, sweet things, and remembering details. Telling me how incredible I smell, and giving me a kiss on the cheek. Go on a picnic.. Send me an email or a PM just because..
Under all circumstances, I think that if both parties enjoy the experience it makes it much more satisfying. I would like to think that the person I am with is enjoying herself, but one cannot always tell. There are some very good female actors in this line of work.
Is it mandatory for the lady to enjoy herself and cum for me to have a good time, no. If she does either or both of the above then I am more likely to return for additional sessions. Part of the enjoyment for me is that we can both be comfortable with each other and enjoy the moment. We can talk about a wide variety of topics and maybe try something new or different each time we get together so no two sessions are the same.
If the session is too mechanical and little or no feedback from my companion it is not worth my time or my money. To get that level of satisfaction I can stay home, get relief and go buy something I like and have fun.
I do not expect there to be sparks or feel the earth shaking everytime I have a session, but when it does happen it sure makes everything so much better. I try to be polite, on time, clean, shaven, not demanding, just go with the flow and hope that my companion will relax enough to enjoy our time together.
Well I wish it was BFE (my definition is Boy Friend Experience)except that the renumeration exchanged warrants a set of expectation (sort of a ROI) which is kind of one way. Take out the renumeration, and I would love them even more!
I'm a single guy who apparently is going about this "hobby" all wrong. A good part of my pleasure to-date has been derived from providing the "BFE" (boy friend experience). Most guys are married, aren't looking for commitment, and are only interested in having their fantasies fulfilled. For most GFEs, I would suspect these men are the easiest to deal with, as they are a known quantity. They pay to fulfill a fantasy (physical/emotional) and then (hopefully) leave.
Now, if you are paying to fulfill the fantasy of being a BFE, if you're acting a part, and you KNOW she's acting a part (to please you), then well, that's just comical. Sometimes it helps to have a sense of humor in all of this. I've found it takes at least a few sessions to even begin to understand another person, to get past the acting, to least even *attempt* to start understanding what their fantasies are, how to please them.
There was a thread on another board recently about some men possibly feeling the need to have the woman fall in love with them. That this is the challenge. Well, I'm sure it goes both ways, but in this context, especially for those wanting to provide the BFE. I figure at one extreme it's about not being able to accept pleasure oneself, about needing a relationship based upon (mutual) intimacy, not (one-sided) physicality. Bottomline, in wanting to provide the BFE, you have to be real honest about your intentions. You can make her orgasm, sure, but it's the (required) emotional connection that can become sticky.
At the end of the day, my advice, from what I've learned, -- I say forget about providing the BFE. Just forget about it. Really. That's what I'm thinking these days. After 3 months of this, I say being honest, communicative (listening!), and open to exploring her fantasies, YES. Trying to solve some inner "questions" about yourself, NO. It really is a "gift" of yourself, to another person. And if you begin to wonder if she really likes you; well, be careful, be really careful.
The gift quote unquote, means there's a time and space quotient involved. Ala the charlie sheen quote, I take it to mean you are paying someone to leave, to take the experience provided and to do something with it on their own. Imagine it's a one of a kind artwork that is now out of your hands forever. Poof. Never to be seen again. Bye bye bye.
Now, if that gift of experience is returned in kind! If there is now a "relationship".... then maybe the next question is "ATF...?" (all time favorite). I'm still looking for my ATF, which is somehow different from a potential S/O (significant other).... because god forbid,.... oh, I don't know. I really don't know. This is where I am currently lost/enjoying the view. There are sooo many possibilities (and so many other/conflicting priorities).
All things that work. "process not product"! Best wishes,
Now a few of you have me completely confused.. ..I'm referring to the atmosphere, the time spent together in the 2 or 3 hours..not getting 'sticky' or uncomfortable..and yes, most of the Gents are married so definitely not..
You are right Sedona. A good BFE, like a good GFE, is created by the environment of the moment (although it can start with the call) and the attitude of the other person. It has to be mutual. I essentially find that good characteristics are hugging, kissing, and petting. All the other stuff are human instinct (and I always want to experiment)(for lack of better words). But its that foreplay and attitude that creates the GFE/BFE enviroment in all of us. Having too many "No s" kills the atmosphere (no kissing, no BJ, no etc.) My opinion.
There's an old saying about escorts vs. girlfriends. You're not paying them for their time you're paying them to leave you alone after your time is over.
"Relationships" with escorts are for the moment only. If not, why not build relationships that aren't contingent on the exchange of money directly for time. Since you're single you can probably take the time to enjoy not just the moment but the chase as well (something married men wouldn't have time for.)
Time with escorts requires suspension of disbelief for the time together no matter what you choose to believe about the relationship. If both parties are really in the moment and open, trusting and respectful it can be marvelous but it's still just for an extremely limited time. That's the why both parties are involved this way and not another.
Well said ... the relation with a provider is so we don't have to make any emotional or other forms of commitments. I remember once I chased a beautiful woman, and after the first excursion into the bedroom, her first comment was: "When am I gonna see you again?" Of course I started to run!
Rhnp - you stole my words! That's ok. You're both right. I take my 'role' seriously. I also know that it's a responsibility to keep the relationship 'on track', particularly after reading a number of threads about 'falling for Providers/Hobbyists' - that scared me! LOL! But, seriously, I accept a 'responsibility', if you will ,to keep it on track. All I'm saying is have as much fun, and fantasy in your 'time'. I love adoring; I love being adored. It's like going to the movies, and getting completely lost in the film, and then the credits roll, and it's time to go home.. But, wasn't it a great movie??
I guess I'll I'm tryin ta say (and of few of you said this below). Is that I'm not looking for a deep emotional contact, the kind you would get from a s/o... But I would like both parties to enjoy each other. Not just because of any kind of 'fantasy' or physical type thing. But I'd rather know that she enjoyed the time we spent together and not that I was just another guy. I want to provide as good of a time for her and she is for me. Better for both i think.
I just figure that providing BFE includes more than just physical acts and in my post was trying to explain at some emotional detail how that "atmosphere" might play out for a hobbyist in the long term. If pleased, the ladies will want to come back!? How to deal with the situation then? If you're looking for a s/o, think again. If you want an ATF, then forget the act, be real.
As a general guide, what Pat said is absolutely correct, and I hope my initial post mirrored that, --that the gift ensures an emotional seperation. But for analysis purposes, and for real work applicability, I think it's essential to explore/discuss the grey areas of experience, the less traveled paths, especially when offering advice. I'm always interested to hear how a GFE maintains a s/o or husband type relationship on the side. And I know of a couple of (single, retired) hobbyists with escorts as (potential) s/o.
lol, and I just remembered that my cousin in Arizona uses "BFE" as an acronym for "butt f*ck egypt" when she's trying to explain that something is way far out there. Which is how I feel at times like these when trying to explain emotions in situational terms...
AND you are not lame, darlin! smooches, your ramblin fool
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You're both right. I take my 'role' seriously. I also know that it's a responsibility to keep the relationship 'on track', particularly after reading a number of threads about 'falling for Providers/Hobbyists' - that scared me! LOL! But, seriously, I accept a 'responsibility', if you will ,to keep it on track.
