1). Yes, you can make a wardrobe request.

2-5). You can request all those things. The worst she'd do is say no.  

I can't see why she'd be affronted by any such requests, except that I can't tell whether you want her to wear her lingerie in the shower. That might not go over well.  

6). If her reviews say she allows multiple pops you should be good. You might want to let her know up front.  

7). You wouldn't be wasting her time, because they expect you to shower during session time. Unless they're accommodating you going a little over, but I wouldn't count on that. If you want to shower at home so as to get as much time with her as possible, that's fine.  

8-10). That's fine for a follow-up email, though you can ask her in person if you like. Just don't send them too many messages, is the thing. I always try to have a specific purpose in contacting them, unless they initiate.  

I wouldn't worry too much about what they think of you. Just be yourself (assuming yourself isn't a jerk), and make sure the money's right. Courtesy goes a long way. Time is money to them, so don't waste it.

For a guy with no history (including no reviews), IMO you're asking for too much in one post-session email.  

First, confirm whether or not she's on P411 before you ask her for an "ok".  It's easy to do, and if you ask her for something she can't do it's not respectful of her.

You might ask for a white list if you think the session went really well, but don't be surprised if she declines.  Some providers don't give white lists (check to see if she's done that before you ask her) and some don't give them after only one date, especially to a guy with no history with providers.  

As for asking her if she'd be a reference for you, if I were you I'd wait on that until you see how she responds to your first post-session email. And then wait until you actually need the reference.  

And don't forget to give her something in return for the white list and/or OK and future reference.  Offer to write a review (assuming she wants a review... be sure to ask because some providers don't want them at all and some don't want them at present).  And ask her if she'd mind if you "shill" her on your local board on the next Friday shill thread... and do it using your handle, not your alias.  Even if she doesn't want a review and/or shill, she may appreciate the offer.

And don't forget the best thing you can do to show your appreciation for the white list/OK/reference... see her again!

I have only one piece of advice (if I may): take the offer of a shower (and wash your privates thoroughly). Not only does it take away any possibility of odors but it gives you the excuse of walking back to her, completely naked...

This gives her the green light and ends any awkwardness in the conversation, as in "at what point do I start taking things off?".

Enjoy yourself, let things happen!

😎😎

You've gotten good answers to everything else already. I would definitely reinforce the notion of showering when you arrive if she offers or suggests it. Just a quick one to wash the important places, if you showered before heading over. Shave and scrub your nuts. If she's like most, the way she thanks you for doing that will have you thanking me.

Good luck, have fun. Seems like you're planning well, so when you get there turn your mind off and relax.

wardrobe request once you have been screened and your appointment is confirmed.  

If the lady offers a shower, take her up on it as it will make her more comfortable.  Maybe you can have a short make-out session and remove her clothing before asking her to join you in the shower.

Be sure to respect her boundaries. Before leaving, you can ask her about a white list and/or P411 OK [I would check beforehand to see if she is on P411 before asking her].  You can also ask about a future reference.

After you have returned home, it is always good to send a thank you email.

Good luck.

Just be genuine and be yourself, show up immaculately groomed and with a little cologne,  over communicate,  and everything will go well.  These are the right questions, but every situation is different and you have to trust your gut and do what feels right.

IMO.....

Thats a bit much. As some people have said requesting lingerie is okay.....ask if she prefers you shower again....after that just be cool. Ive had guys say "can you leave that on for a bit or can i take it off you" but anything after that your just not letting it happen naturally.

The chances of your date becoming mechanical is highly likely if you're hyper focused on these small things. Wait til you have a few under your belt until you start worrying about all the details unfolding in your perfect way. Just my 2 cents.....

Before session
1) Depends on the provider.  Some providers ask, some don't, some may get offended even if asked after vetting.  Best to read her reviews and or website.  It never hurts to ask unless you're dealing with a closet BSC, then you may either not get a reply or get cursed the hell out.  

During Session
1) Does she "occasionally" take showers with clients or is this on her menu as part of the session?  
3/5) Most people tend to fuck naked, again if she is accommodating then perhaps she won't mind leaving something on, I've asked several can they leave their heels on and it's usually not a problem.
4/6) I'm guessing you're going to need to book for longer than 1 hour.  If I read it correctly, she will either need to be naked or in lingerie when you arrive, then a little feeling out process, then shower together with some activities, then dry off lingerie back on for touchy feely time.  Yeah, tough to get all that done in one hour and get two pops in with this being your first session with her.  Unless you let one off in the shower, then another later on, and you're good with that.  
7)  If you can manage all that and she is comfortable rushing, then go for it.  No it has never been an issue for someone to actually leave the session without taking another shower, the issue usually comes when clients linger around and go over time and then want to shower before leaving.  

After session
I don't think most ladies mind follow up emails, but don't expect to have an endless connection.
8) Depends on the lady, some will offer themselves as a reference before you leave.  It's best to check her webpage for additional info.  Never hurts to ask when you send the follow up.
9/10)  Of the few Whitelists I have, I have only asked for 1, the rest have been given without having to ask.  WL don't really carry as much weight as P411 Okays because TER is known as a reviewing site and not a verification site.  However, their are providers who will verify and book with you through TER PM if you are Whitelisted, but again that number is minimal.  

P411 Okay's are the easy part, just send her an Okay request a day or two after the session and she should (unless you were an asshole) Okay you.  

Overall, you have a lot of "wants" and IMO you would fair better booking a longer session with her if you're wanting all those things to take place or building a rapport with her over a few sessions so that you are more comfortable asking for these things and she doesn't feel rushed trying to accomplish them.