Newbie - FAQ

Lunch Date then fun
Kreativity 1582 reads
posted

So I've seen this Provider several times and we have both had memorable and amazing moments in the bedroom. I'd be lying if I didn't say we kinda havee a bit of a bond. She's amazed me from our first date and has built of that each time. I've seen her a few more times after, but after she blew my mind on our 3rd date I offered to take her to lunch wherever she'd wanna go as an extended Thank You. I offered to take her to a restaurant of her favorite cuisine for lunch to get to know her a little bit outside the bedroom. She agreed to it, but never really followed through for whatever reason.

I saw her again this past week and we had our best date yet. She's gotten so goid at what I like that she not only gives it to me without me asking, but she enhances all of my sensations in a way that leaves me totally fulfilled. SHE texts me and brings back up the lunch date and tells me she'd love to have a meal with me. Is it weird that she's basically become my ATF without pressing for one? I wanna have a nice date with her. Can I get some of the ladies to chime in and tell me how to make this date special and memorable for her?

...both on the same page with regard to the lunch.  How do you know that she thinks it will be OTC?  Maybe she brought it up because she wants you to pay to watch her eat.  First you have to find out if the lunch will be OTC, but remember - there's no such thing as a free lunch.

Why do you want to get to know her a little bit outside the bedroom?  And whydo you want to make this date special and memorable for her ? She's doing her job when she sees you. And from what you've written, she seems pretty good at it.

then do not assume that the lunch is on her time.   This is something you should discuss together because while I know you think she feels exactly the same way towards you as you do towards her, this is not necessarily so.   Nothing will break up a good situation as quickly as money issues, and I know this from past sad history.

 
Most gals have rates for dinner dates, and so if that is the case with this gal, be prepared to pay that.   If she does not have such rates, then just brazen out a question like:   What would be a fair gift for your time while we are out dining?   I have asked this before and gotten replies from:   "Oh, don't worry about it." (rare) to "Another hundred (or two)", to "whatever you think is right"  ($100 in most cases.)

 
The only time that extra compensation for meals is not an issue is with gals I met who were more of a sugar baby deal than an escort.  These were in most cases gals I met through massage parlors.  I'm assuming that is not the case here.

 
As for making the date memorable, well, just keep on being your charming self.   Don't fix what ain't broke, bro.

But she sounds like she is good at what she does and you're falling in love. To keep this fun, take her out to lunch and let the girl eat.  Don't look into much farther then that and just enjoy it for what it is.

I love dinner dates / lunch dates... and if she is becoming your ATF that is awesome!, I truly believe things get better each time because you know the other person a little bit more each time and have more opportunity to explore!

NanaRaven75 reads

Does she have social date rate on her site? If not you might need to pay regular rate for lunch. I think most girls won't do it OTC. Even if she likes you.

GaGambler111 reads

That said, It's still no guarantee that it will indeed be OTC.

 
Here is where I part company from most of the other advice givers here. I do not necessarily recommend that he gets a clear understanding one way or the other "before" their date, assuming a couple of things I believe to be true in his case. The first is that he can afford and would still be interested in taking her out for lunch even if she charges him full rate, the second is that he isn't going to be all butt hurt if it turns out that what he thought was more about the two of them "hitting it off" was really just "good business relations" on her part.

 
Assuming both of these things are true, my recommendation is that he make no mention of money, takes her out for lunch, does NOT hang all over her like a lovesick puppydog and simply enjoys his lunch date with her and follows HER lead as for what, if anything comes next. and also follows HER lead as to whether this is business, pleasure, or a little of both. At or near the end of the date he needs to find a way to "tactfully" ask whether this was business or pleasure  and find a way to make it easy for her to either accept or refuse payment for her time. There are two conflicting things he needs to avoid doing, one is "cheapening" her genuine offer to spend time with him OTC by treating her like a prostitute who must only be interested in his money, but OTOH he doesn't want to overstep and just assume that she doesn't want to be paid, or that her time is not worth money.

 
A lot of guys/girls, actually most of you, want "clear lines" which is fine if that's what you want, but some of us don't mind blurring the lines a bit and end up with genuine relationships that can last for years by not worrying quite so much about crossing boundaries. Just remember SHE texted him to take him up on his offer, not the other way around. That can often make all the difference in the world.

Kreativity80 reads

There's no issue with the cost of the date or price of the meal. I don't know if I agree that a Professional Lady couldn't enjoy a nice meal with her client. I'm hoping we can enjoy one another's company outside the bedroom (her words not mine).

I'm actually grateful for the advice someone added about being my same charming self. The cost again is not an issue for either of us. I guess I will treat it like a regular date.

Just go enjoy yourself, be yourself and let what ever is going to happen, happen.  And I for once completely disagree that a lady can't be doing this purely out of the enjoyment she gets from sharing time with someone she "likes"  

 
Too many people think you have to jump from a hooker/john relationship directly into a love affair. There are a LOT of different kinds of dynamics that range between customer and love interest. Who knows where she sees you and her? The only way to find out is to "find out" for yourself. I for one wish you good luck.

I would actually assume that I am responsible for treating her to a very nice meal at a classy restaurant, which does not include paying for her time.  There is such thing as a free lunch at least for her.  I cannot justify paying money to watch a lady eat.  It has nothing to do with ability to pay.  It is just that I have a difficult time seeing how a self-respecting person would feel ok with paying to watch a lady eat.  I look at this as an extension of goodwill.   By taking 30 min to 1 hour to have a meal with me on my dime she increases the likelihood that I will see her for a longer date and/or more dates in the future.  She is investing a little of her time to reap future benefits.  If she expects to be paid, then that would be a turn off.  She will be paid in the form of future tips, etc.  

Kreativity86 reads

I don't disagree. In my case I offered her an all inclusive amount. I want to feel like she's taken care of, but if I put too much emphasis on the business part of it, then I will end up looking at our interaction as value of $$$ instead of value of her company. Call me old fashioned.  

In the defense of the Professional Lady I might say they do deserve some compensation for their timee even if it's outside the bedroom. She'd say that she is still working because she has the favorable personality turned on and the imperfect part of that turned off. Her behavior may be different than if she we actually on a date with a real boyfriend. That's not to say she's being phony; she's going above and beyond to make sure YOU have the time of your life with her. That takes work to get to. Me on the other hand, I prefer there's a real element.

Sounds reasonable.  I would look at her website first of course to see what her policy or etiquette section states before assuming or doing anything.  Every situation is different.  If she is touring, then I am more inclined to agree that she is entitled to material compensation.  Her policies and etiquette obviously trump speculation.  

for business.   Believe me, it is still work and then some because you have to be "on".   It's no different for the gals.   I get paid when i get taken out, and when I take my customers to meals too, and you better believe that they are coming because of my good looks.

 
Business is business.

I have business lunches, dinners, drinks all the time and while I will concede that "some" of these meets require me to be "on" but not all. I dread meeting some clients because quite frankly I just don't enjoy spending time with them, but OTOH there are some people I look forward to having lunch/dinner/drinks with because I actually enjoy their company.  

 
I don't get paid for being taken out by clients, or when I take them out. Like an indie hooker, I work for myself, and like most hookers I try to avoid "social time" with people I don't really like, but that I still do business with, but with others I will go out of my way to make time for them because they are almost as much friends as clients and I can be 100% myself when around them.

As a lady here who starts most of her dates (95% out socially first) and also a bit old fashioned in that I like things to flow naturally, I'd say if she's not typically the type of provider who offers those kinds of dates then definitely take her up on it if she's asking. Just be sure to clarify (beforehand) if it's part of the date the next time and included or more of just an extended gesture on your part. This is still a business but to keep it black and white vs any gray matter keeps things clearer (and more fun) for both parties involved. I mean that's why we are all here...right?

Good luck and have fun (although it sounds like you already are ;)

Kisses xo (love your handle btw)

-- Modified on 9/30/2017 6:37:27 AM

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