There are multiple threads about the age of clients and I seem to fall into the sweet spot at 55. But I couldn't find any discussion about the "appropriate" age of a provider for a first-time hobbyist. Obviously at some level it doesn't matter since its all about the envelope. But as someone with only limited experience (I married the first girl who slept with me and that was 30+ years ago) I need a provider who is willing and able to "lead". Not a Dom by anymeans, just someone willing to point me in the right direction as needed. I've been reading reviews and have a list of interesting ladies but the one who pushes all my buttons is in her mid-20s and I already have some feelings of performance anxiety about being with someone so young (yes, I know its silly at some level, its not like she will stop dating me if I don't meet her expectations (other than remembering to bring the envelope)). But due to the hassles involved in making this happen without getting caught, this may be my one and only encounter so I want the most bang for my buck as it were.
So my question boils down to this: In your opinion, do young providers have the maturity to deal with someone with little experience and will be nervous as all gitout or should I go for an older MILF? Obviously there is no "right" answer, I'm just looking for other hobbyists's (or providers) experiences and opinions. TIA.
Go for a provider in her early 30's. At that age, she built up her maturity enough to understand your situation, but is still young enough to have that youthful vibe. She will also be a good balance of taking charge and being affectionate. I myself saw a provider like that in Chicago, and she was incredible; I couldn't stop smiling for the rest of the day. To address your question, it could go either way. Each person could be different, so research the reviews, and decide for yourself based on what you read. However, as a general rule, older providers tend to be more tolerant of nervousness on the client's part.
-- Modified on 12/5/2008 4:34:03 PM
a lady around 40 or in her 40s. She's got enough life experience to know where you're coming from. She'll be patient and gentle. Because she's closer to your generation, she'll understand your world view and expectations. And she's probably built up the erotic skills and appreciation for diversity that will make it a positive for you. (Of course you need to read the reviews....) Once you've had enough experience to be confident, by all means try nailing some of the young ones.
I'm just a tad older than you are. I enjoy the girls in their 20s. I find that there is always something I can teach them. But I'm usually onec n done with the young gals. One of my favs is in her 20s, but she is an exceptionally mature specimen who really likes older gents. Another fav of mine is in her mid 30s (as is my SO) and that works well because she is into older guys and understands the culture we come from (it has been changing, you know...). Some of the best times I've had have been with ladies in their 40s.
Well, that's my experience, and my advice, for what it's worth....
Cheers
Gregory
You would love my style and company..just read my reviews!
Jay
cause I'm *anything but* a first time hobbyist.....
Yummy! Total agreement on milfs.
If you're not already a TER VIP I suggest you join. Do A LOT of reading. I suggest that you meet someone who has a significant amount of reviews. This will tell you how they behave in a date and see if you like what you're reading. As far as young or Milf, think more in terms of "What do you find sexy?" and go from there.
Also, it's not always about the envelope. Some of us actually hobby because we love the sex with NSA.
Good luck!
AngieRenee
Its not out of the question since I'm in San Diego. Plus I've enjoyed reading your posts.
I am in an area that really doesn't have many if any young 20s that are independent. So far I've only seen independents as they never rush me. But, if it's any help to you I have seen about half 30's and half early 40's and my ATF is in her early 30's. She has enough experience to know when and what I like but she is young enough to surprise me with never knowing what she might say/do.
My first experience was a well reviewed 40's and yes I was nervous and she was great. As another said above, make sure and get the VIP and read, read, read and get a 8, 9 gal no matter what age.
Good luck, hope you enjoy this hobby as much as I have so far!!
I am a year older than you. Like previous posts I like ladies in their mid 30's. My atf just turned 34 and has all of the life experience and enthusiasm I need. I would never see a lady under 30, due to some of the reasons other posts have expressed. Keep doing research, do not fixate on one lady. Make sure whoever you select is well reviewed and has consistant good reviews.
Read your local board, see if there is a lady who posts on the board, that interests you. Than do your research on her. You will be nervous on your first visit no matter who you select, so choose wisely. Some ladies will mention on their web site that they like newbies so look for that. Also reviewers may mention that they were a newbie when they saw their first escort. Good luck....
I realize I'm just a young buck at 43 (Hey, I'm already a grandpa! That has to count!)
Frankly, for what will be my first, I was looking for someone in their 30's. Frankly, I'm more concerned about my own jitters and wanted someone with the maturity to handle that. The one I want for my second is also in the same age bracket. A low-20's actually intimidates me at this point.
Hey, I'm in my late 40's but had limited sexual experience with girls when I was 20's... so why not regain those lost times. I love the younger 20ish girls as they they make me feels young again. Just like all those old folks that drive new sports cars. So enjoy what you missed when you were younger, life is too short to miss those experiences.
Play the game the way you want to play it! Don't be intimidated about seeing younger providers; there are many that are well worth seeing. Just make sure to do your homework, that her reviews are good and give you an idea of what to expect when meeting her. You will likely have the jitters your first time out with a lady regardless of her age...it's normal, and the ladies know how to deal with it.
I share Crazy Diamond's perspective - go for whatever turns you on.
There is one thing in your post – do you really think this will be a once in a lifetime experience? As anyone on this board will tell you, hobbying is a highly addictive activity. Maybe you'd lower your anxiety if you planned a series of three – one in her 20s, one in her 30s, and one in her 40s. (Then repeat as often as possible!)
which is why I suggested a MILF.
In my experience the younger gals either want to jump on you and blow your mind or they need to be taken by the hand and led.
I've met only *one* who understood subtlety and nuance....
Does it get much better than that?
My take on the original poster was that he wants to meet with a younger lady. He related that he was in his fifties, and had married the first girl he got serious with. Regardless of that, maybe meeting with a MILF is too close to home...might be too much like his SO, and that he wants to go outside the box and play with a younger lady, which may be fulfilling fantasies. Isn't that what the hobby is all about, in many ways? I dunno...if he wants to meet with a younger lady, I would say to go for it. He's going to nervous his first time out anyway, but hopefully will take a deep breath once he's there, and it will dissipate.
Trust me when I say this: There isn't a well reviewed provider on TER that will be "too close to home" for me. Any of them will offer new experiences to me. My concern over age is more one of maturity. I don't want them to be uncomfortable with or not know how to handle my lack of experience. I'm leaning toward taking bbbmmm22's advice and working my way backwards in time. A 40s, a 30s, and then a 20s. But not all at the same time, at least not yet!
The great thing about the hobby is that the possibilities are endless, and the choice is always yours. If you want to do a reverse time-warp, meeting with ladies that are progressively younger, as I said above: It's your hobby, play the game the way you want to play it. The choice is always yours here...unlike civvie world, where that is not always so. If you are comfortable with it, let us know how it goes by posting a review. Go for it, dude!
with the younger ladies I find that there is a higher incidence of their being uncomfortable and needing lead along quite a bit and also a higher degree of YMMV from one gent to another.......
I have met some *dynamite* exceptions to this "rule" (my anecdotal evidence)
Not all need to be led by the hand! Maybe I have been lucky to meet high value young ladies, but I like to attribute that to doing my homework properly, or maybe, it is just being lucky. Whatever, I like it!
As a newbie still I can tell you that there will be alot of things going through your mind that may cause jitters. So do your research through reviews and get an idea of the way you want your date to be. Also check out the ladies photos on her website because you want to be attracted to the person. Age should not be the only concern. You want to have fun.
Hi All -
Just recently joined TER and just returning to the hobby after quite a few years away from it...
Anyway, after reading this thread something occurred to me that I want to throw out there that I think could really help with the first time jitters and concerns.
First, as everyone has said, do tons of research. But I don't think anyone's mentioned as yet something that I would strongly suggest:
That is definitely make the financial commitment of booking a multi-hour appt. This allows plenty of time for the get-to-know-ya's and to comnnect with the provider - who will feel less time pressure. I also think it would go a long way toward easing all the other inherent anxieties of the first timer regardless of his age and other experience factors.
As far as age, I'm certain there are some younger ladies out there who would be wonderful is scenario, but the better odds for the best possible FTE (first time experience) favor a provider in the early/mid 30's to 40+y opinion....
Personally, now that I'm 50 .... there's just somwething about those girls in their 20's. And, it gives me all the motivation I need to keep hittin' the gym - I plan on bein' 80 and still giving a 20 year old a run for her money
;~)
Take care & be safe... and good luck, rocur!
Creekdaddy
The MILF ladies are generally more seasoned to teach a newbie "how the game is played". Most younger gals just want the end result while the gals in their 30's are more about the destination.
I want to thank everyone who responded, your opinions and thoughts helped me a lot. And a special shout-out to LadyJayLa for taking it upon herself to provide the definitive answer to my question. All I can say is
MILFS ROCK!
I can now see why hobbying is addictive.