Im a relative newbie, i could count the number of my hobby encounters ive had on my hands. But theres just one thing i cant overcome is the relatively awkwardness of the interactions. I was wondering how some/most of yours go. I dont know why its so different from my private life. Im relatively shy so that likely plays a huge part but my private life is fine for the most part. Maybe its because im sure that the person with me is "into" me so to speak (or at least i think so) so its just easier to do what we want in the bedroom and everyone and everything flows more comfortably. Ive even taken strippers for OTC and those sessions are great
here's how my encounters usually go. I enter the room and we exchange pleasantries and small talk. I drop my envelope in the room to go shower. (I never know how long to shower either lol) But i come out slowly in the towel and then usually get a bbbj and transition to fs and thats usually the end of the session. usually no dfk no daty or anything else even if previous reviews say the provider is cool with it. the last provider i was with even asked if this was my first time and i dont think she believed me when i said it wasnt lol. so do i come out full nude? thats actually a big question of mine. just go for the first dfk, daty? tl;dr my sessions always feel mechanical with no passion and im not sure how to fix it. writing all this i kinda realize one solution to my problem would be to see a provider more than once and build a rapport but its hard to do when the first session is average at best.
When I take a shower I just walk right on out without any hesitation personally. There is nothing wrong with the way you come out if it is in shy manor.
I must ask how long do you book a date for? If you are only doing one hour dates, then I would suggest maybe trying 2, 3, or 4hours dates instead. Me personally I book longer dates of at least 3 hours minimum. There are ones on here who have no issue with the one hour date. I just know myself and what works best with me. I to look the dfk and daty.
I have seen guys who may take just one not more than two shots of booze, to help the anxiety issue. My suggestion to you is the next date you book make it a 2 hour one. Don't hold back and open up to your next date. Be honest and I bet once you do a well reviewed provider whom you should be sticking with at this point, will have you at easy, and this is because she certainly probably has come across you situation before.
I am not sure because it is not said in your message, are you setting the expectation bar to high? I personally the day before and day of just blank my mind out on the expectation, because it is an experience, and it has worked out great for me.
By the looks of things since you don't have an issue with strippers, is you get to talk to each other, and develop a rapport. Another issue is maybe it is the rush from taking a home a stripper with OTC time and you feel like your getting away with something. If this is the case this could be where your problem exist.
Yea I've only done one hour sessions so far, I'll definitely look into longer sessions. I haven't thought about it but I think I am setting my expectations too high. Not that everything has to be perfect but it thought would feel like a regular interaction of bringing a girl home what with gfe and all. Saw another post here about asking for ground rules before starting and I think that might be a good start. A big hold up I feel like has been afraid to start something because of boundaries seem like a much bigger wall for some reason. (As it should be). I think your original analysis of my stripper experience is correct. It pretty much feels like bringing a girl home from a club (even though it's really not) and we've had lap dances throughout the night. I appreciate the response
Thanks
Very good advice from JJ. For me booking 1 hr. sessions doesn`t get it. 90 mins are better, 2 hrs are perfect for me. I spend the first half of the date just chatting about the hobby and life in general like you would do at a bar with anyone. One or two nips of booze like they serve on airline flights works great for me. Easily purchased at most liquor stores.
Try seeing a lady that YOU are especially attracted to and see her multiple times until the two of you connect. It might take a few times to get on the same page with her and you will. Trust me Dude, it gets easier and easier each time. Some sessions will be terrific, some just so-so and the occasional zero.
There are no guarantees in this game. Just bring your A game and she will too. You are not a porn star and she`s not expecting you to be one. Be a little selfish, you`re paying for this. Take care of yourself as I guarantee she`s taking care of herself and getting paid for it as she should be. I continuously see my two ATF`s then every third time in the rotation I reach out to someone new for me and this combination seems perfect, connections and turnovers.
I`ve been in this hobby for about a year now with 20 or so trysts under my belt and I`m 180* from when I started. My confidence now is excellent compared to a year ago. Keep your head clear and don`t fixate on anything negative.
Write this down:
DO NOT FALL IN LOVE with these girls. (it can be very easy believe me) Keep reminding yourself that doing so is a one-way ticket to hell! Also date civies as that will pump your confidence as well.
You`ll be fine Dude, lighten up and just have fun. They want and need us just as badly as we want and need them. Easy, right.
If you are into DATY you are probably going to have to take the initiative. The dynamics are such that she is in service mode, not you. Plus not every client is isn't into it and she may not want to be presumptuous. Also, many providers that agree to it (and will O 6 times, if you believe the reviews) would just as soon not. I can't remember a time where a provider asked me for it, particularly on a first encounter. One way to work that in is if you feel like you are close to cumming, have her stop what she's doing and ask to "return the favor". Or ask for it as a way to get round two started.
I say stick to no more than five women that you really are into. Gradually, you will develop chemistry with them. It is really all about the chemistry. You get a rotation of a handful of women that you feel comfortable with and just roll with that. In the beginning this can all be a bit much because some ladies are very transactional and others feel like a real friend from the past. It takes time to get to a certain point.
I really like at least personally a longer sessions being minimum 3 hour dates. If you have not checked out the help section on TER, highly suggest you do it helped me out. Just be you that is good enough, you got this, and have fun on your next date.
Put away the checklist. Book enough time not to have to worry about the clock. Book with someone whose reviews are consistent with your desires.
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Towel or no towel? (Do you think that she cares?) Face down or face up? Boxers or briefs? ...
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Clear your mind. Breathe deeply. Go with the flow.
I follow her lead. Small talk helps if she does not take the lead.. I ordinarily engage in 10-20 minutes of talking at the beginning if she makes no move; the rapport often makes for a better experience. All girls I met in my years of hobbying welcome talk; they have no reason not to welcome paid social time. Refrain from the $$ math; this investment could pay off in the form of a more satisfying session.
I don't think it's the amount of time you are booking that's the problem, I almost always book 1 hr sessions and it gives me plenty of time for DATY and DFK.
I think the problem is your own lack of assertiveness, Here is my advice, come out of the shower buck naked or with the towel draped around you, it really makes no difference, what comes next is what does make the difference, the very first thing you need to do is take hold of her, draw her close and kiss her passionately, THAT is going to set the tone for the rest of the date. As for the rest of your date, just do what comes naturally, personally a nice make out session to start things off usually leads to me "moving south" for DATY which usually leads her into BBBJ which leads to mish which leads to CG which leads to... I am sure you get the hint by now. lol
Trust me, unless she is an ice queen, and the reviews should warn you off if she is, she is going to take your lead and your sessions will become much more enjoyable and seem much less scripted. I know a lot of other guys like to "get to know" a girl with a lot of chit chat, personally I use my "down time" for chit chat, my first DFK usually occurs within the first five SECONDS of her opening the door, not ten or fifteen minutes later. Personally I have found the longer that first kiss at the door lasts, the better and the hotter the session is going to be. That first kiss can last mere seconds or several minutes, I remember one GREAT session where she opened the door, I said "hi" kissed her and it was a good forty five minutes before we ever came up for air or said a single word to each other. Moans and murmurs don't count as words of course. lol
this question for you as a response to your question. Are these ladies you are seeing well-reviewed GFE ladies? If so, let me suggest this.
Once you assert your self and begin the kissing (LFK should lead to DFK) the provider will usually attempt to pull your towel down and begin a BBBJ. Once she gets Jr. going, then say "it is now your turn." Slowly ease her onto the bed and start kissing her all over working your way down to the Y. You need to take the lead.
Hi I'm also a newbie but as a provider, I agree it's awkward.. I think sleeping with someone for the first time is always a little awkward whether you meet them in a bar or TER unless drinks are involved. 
I would say just take it slow, relax, she is probably as nervous as you are. It sounds like you're just overthinking it, don't worry how long the shower is just make sure you're clean.. Maybe a shower together will ease your nerves? I think you also can somewhat tell if someone is into you early on just by their demeanor but yea. Do what you like within reason, I'm sure if it isn't the norm the provider will mention it whether jokingly or in a serious tone. I don't think it matters if you come out nude or not but you'd probably be more comfortable with a towel around your waist if you're thinking about it.. you can also sit down for a bit when you come in and talk briefly, I think it will help your nerves..
All in all, everything you mentioned sounds normal.. normal nerves and normal awkwardness, everyone experiences it although some hide it better than others. no worries.
to really enjoy this hobby.
You sound very much like I was 40 years ago when I started. I liked the sex, but longed for a deeper connection. I found that very elusive. I think the key is chemistry. When I finally found a gal with whom I clicked, it was great, and I would go back and see these gals many times. The same is true today, but now I have the experience of thousands of encounters with hundreds of women.
Believe me, it's worth it. I'd do it all over again, and then some.
As someone who has experienced social anxiety, I can totally relate! Here's something to think about: just because you FEEL awkward doesn't mean the experience is actually coming across as being awkward. And even if it is, it generally doesn't matter. Awkwardness doesn't mean "bad". It can be a little cute. It's okay to be awkward. Let yourself be, accept it, and strangely, you'll possibly get more comfortable.
Take "awkward silences". I used to be quieter around people I didn't know, and got very self-conscious with "awkward silences." But then I realized: it's just a little quietness, a little silence. The only awkwardness is in my head, or if the other person feels it's awkward, too, it's because we both feel the need to fill every moment with words. It's okay to be quiet sometimes, though. I just have to be okay with it. I can't control if the other person thinks the silence is awkward. I just have to get comfortable with it, and once I learned to do that, silences usually aren't ever awkward for me. PLUS, I find it interesting to watch others who have to fill silence with noise.
For the specifics:
Some guys take like 2 minutes to shower, some take ten. Generally, I think a quick rinse plus washing the major spots well should be fine. Come out with a towel, or don't. I've seen both.
Maybe you can try coming out with the towel around your waist. That can send a signal that you want to focus on HER a little first. Yes, just go for DFK. Or start with kissing, then to LFK, then DFK. If you need, ask her if that's okay.
Yes, follow with DATY if you want. Help her out of any clothes she has on and ask her if she minds laying on the bed (or motion for her to), on her back. Go and have fun!
If she starts to go down on you when you come out from your shower, you could 1) let her, and then tell her you'd like to return the favor/ask her if you can return the favor, 2) let her, and AS she's going down, let her know you're going to want to return the favor, 3) tell her you'd rather go down on her first. Practice saying these things out loud, so it doesn't sound so awkward in your mouth.
I try to sort of feel the guy out, and what he wants, if it's not explicitly stated. But if I'm not reading you right, you've got to communicate in some way what you want- or just go for it.
One more thing: visualization can really help. Just sit or lie still for a few minutes and envision a session, but in the visualization, you are telling her (or otherwise letting her know) what you really want. Visualize the words you use, and see everything going smoothly. You've got this!
2-3 hours is perfect!
Break the ice naturally like if it were any other kind of date then continue as you see fit....again, naturally. You're too preoccupied with the shoulda coulda, just let it flow would be my recommendation.