Newbie - FAQ

My advice...
VOO-doo 310 reads
posted

First, don't send any personal info for screening until you've corresponded with the girl, and have ascertained that she's available and willing to see you. That way, you won't have to worry. Something like this: 'Hi Miss So and So, I found your ad on Eros and would love to schedule an incall appointment in Boston for 2 hours, either Thursday or Friday this week. I have perused your website, and am completely willing to be verified. Before I send my info, I just want to make sure that you are available on the days/locations I am requesting, and that you're willing to see an older guy.'

If she doesn't reply after, say, 24 hours, then I'd send her a second email - 'Hi, I sent an email on Thursday and never received a reply. I wasn't sure if you'd received the original message, so I just wanted to follow up. As I said, I'd like to meet [here] on x or x day, or maybe next week if you're not available on those days. I've looked over your site, and am more than happy to provide the screening information you ask. Hope you have a nice day.'

If she doesn't reply to that, then move on.  

As to why she would just ignore an email, that's a bit more complicated. I used to answer all emails, even if just to direct them to my screening form, or politely say that we wouldn't be a match. I found that, rather than 'respect my wishes' as I asked... the dudes would BOMBARD me with emails, telling me, 'Seriously,you really want to see me, I'll make your day. I PROMISE!!!' I'd then ignore THOSE, but sometimes the guys would keep it up for months, sending emails on a daily, weekly or semi-weekly basis. Just really strange, and made me anxious.  

On the other hand, if I stopped worrying about appearing rude, and gave myself permission to ignore... the guy would email me maybe one or two additional times, and generally give up after that.

What I decided, was that if there's a chance that someone might be a problem... it's best just not to engage. Even minimally. It seems to encourage a certain type of guy (read: the type I do NOT want to see). I realize that it seems rude, and I'm sure I've ignored a few guys who may have turned out to be OK. However, it's the best way I've found to keep things drama-free... and it keeps me from worrying at night that one of those persistent f***ers will turn renegade.

But, you're in a great market with a lot of providers. If one decides that, for some reason, you aren't for her... then there are surely many others who will be very happy to meet you.

I'm 75 and I've been hobbying for about 5 years now. I'm very selective (only 8.5 or above) and  last year I saw 7 providers a total of 15 times.  I was a first timer with 4 and I saw two of those 3 times . We were building warm relationship. However,those two, Boston Alex and Kai Lynn Sweets have  closed up shop, perhaps due to l.e. activity here in Boston, so I can't get referrals from them
My question is "how long should I wait for a response from a provider when I've sent her a totally revealing email" I have many citations on Google, some with photos. My only whitelist is from 2013.
If for any reason she is not interested, shouldn't she just send me a note with a polite "no thanks?" It's been 5 days. This has never  happened before. Also, if you have any highly reviewed over 35 yrs recs please send them on.

And I don't always expect a response. Some never respond. I move on.

...more than 24 hours.  It doesn't matter if she was busy with other clients, traveling, sick, family obligations, went to spam, etc.

If I haven't heard from a provider in 24 hours, I send her another email saying that I didn't hear from her so I made other arrangements.  Maybe we can get together some other time.  That's it.

Come on man, you're 75 - shake a leg...and grab a tit.

...I give them 48 hours to reply then I move on.  Sometimes you'll get a reply a week or a month later.  I once got a reply 3 months after an initial contact. I suspect that at least half the time our emails end up in a Junk/spam folder that is either never seen or is discovered months later.

You're a lucky guy.  Take the recommendations of the other posters. Have a time limit. If you need recs on provider pm mrfisher he knows every provider in Boston.

Posted By: bookman1256

I'm 75 and I've been hobbying for about 5 years now. I'm very selective (only 8.5 or above) and  last year I saw 7 providers a total of 15 times.  I was a first timer with 4 and I saw two of those 3 times . We were building warm relationship. However,those two, Boston Alex and Kai Lynn Sweets have  closed up shop, perhaps due to l.e. activity here in Boston, so I can't get referrals from them  
 My question is "how long should I wait for a response from a provider when I've sent her a totally revealing email" I have many citations on Google, some with photos. My only whitelist is from 2013.  
 If for any reason she is not interested, shouldn't she just send me a note with a polite "no thanks?" It's been 5 days. This has never  happened before. Also, if you have any highly reviewed over 35 yrs recs please send them on.

VOO-doo311 reads

First, don't send any personal info for screening until you've corresponded with the girl, and have ascertained that she's available and willing to see you. That way, you won't have to worry. Something like this: 'Hi Miss So and So, I found your ad on Eros and would love to schedule an incall appointment in Boston for 2 hours, either Thursday or Friday this week. I have perused your website, and am completely willing to be verified. Before I send my info, I just want to make sure that you are available on the days/locations I am requesting, and that you're willing to see an older guy.'

If she doesn't reply after, say, 24 hours, then I'd send her a second email - 'Hi, I sent an email on Thursday and never received a reply. I wasn't sure if you'd received the original message, so I just wanted to follow up. As I said, I'd like to meet [here] on x or x day, or maybe next week if you're not available on those days. I've looked over your site, and am more than happy to provide the screening information you ask. Hope you have a nice day.'

If she doesn't reply to that, then move on.  

As to why she would just ignore an email, that's a bit more complicated. I used to answer all emails, even if just to direct them to my screening form, or politely say that we wouldn't be a match. I found that, rather than 'respect my wishes' as I asked... the dudes would BOMBARD me with emails, telling me, 'Seriously,you really want to see me, I'll make your day. I PROMISE!!!' I'd then ignore THOSE, but sometimes the guys would keep it up for months, sending emails on a daily, weekly or semi-weekly basis. Just really strange, and made me anxious.  

On the other hand, if I stopped worrying about appearing rude, and gave myself permission to ignore... the guy would email me maybe one or two additional times, and generally give up after that.

What I decided, was that if there's a chance that someone might be a problem... it's best just not to engage. Even minimally. It seems to encourage a certain type of guy (read: the type I do NOT want to see). I realize that it seems rude, and I'm sure I've ignored a few guys who may have turned out to be OK. However, it's the best way I've found to keep things drama-free... and it keeps me from worrying at night that one of those persistent f***ers will turn renegade.

But, you're in a great market with a lot of providers. If one decides that, for some reason, you aren't for her... then there are surely many others who will be very happy to meet you.

GaGambler262 reads

I  exchange messages with dozens, actually hundreds of POT SB's and I get a lot of unsolicited messages from women I have ZERO interest in. Now you would think the polite thing to do would be to drop them a short note thanking them for the interest but politely declining. WRONG.

I completely get it now. A polite rejection sometimes will do the trick, but other times it opens up Pandora's box of "WHY" The last thing I, or a busy hooker wants to do is spend endless amounts of time explaining why I don't want to see someone.

Pretty much the rule of thumb should be, two attempts and then move on. and that should be the same rule going forward. Even if you've seen a woman a dozen times, if you send her a message and you get no response, send her one more "just in case" she got busy and forgot to respond, it went to junk or any one of a hundred legitimate reasons she didn't get back to you and then "let it go" Nobody wants to be hounded.

VOO-doo215 reads

You'd think that most people would *prefer* to move on if their company is not wanted. But that seems not to be the case.  

When someone hounds me, it only serves to make me say... 'OK, now I REALLY don't want to meet you.'

... if, as a female, I emailed you to ask if you entertain us ladies and you aren't comfy with that. So you would ignore my question and never reply with a simple "no" for fear that I would question you why?

VOO-doo207 reads

That's very simple. I do respond to emails from clients I can't see, saying, for instance, that I can't do an outcall to his area.

 
As long as your email was polite and sincere, I'd probably reply with a brief explanation, and best wishes... if you (the theoretical you) continued to email me beyond that, I'd go silent.  

 
IF I got a bad vibe of any type, or found something negative online... then I would not reply.  

 
The fear is not that someone will ask me 'Why?' (Although I have to say that point-by-point explanations would seem to invite argument, which is pointless if I've already made up my mind.) However, I'm sure that you can appreciate that people not only get defensive (no matter how polite the reply), but it's like they become obsessed with trying to get me to change my mind. And some don't give up, even after weeks and months have passed.  

 
OK, so here's a hypothetical scenario. I reply to you (the hypothetical you, not you personally) 'Thank you for your email! Unfortunately I don't see women, it's just not something I'm comfortable with. However, many ladies love women, and I'm sure you'll find the perfect one for you. I wish you the best of luck!'

 
You'd think that most people would leave it be at that point... but, you'd be wrong.  

 
9 times out of 10, the person will reply with a 'No way!! I'm awesome!! Really!!!! Once you've been with me, I promise you'll llllloooooovvveeee women!! Wink, wink!' Or, worse yet, with an insult. 'Well you're a fat piggy anyway!' Sometimes, they continue to email (particularly the first type). Sometimes, they ask me to change my mind. Sometimes, they send more references. Sometimes, they offer more money. Sometimes, they try to pretend it's the first time they've contacted me. Sometimes, they even make up new email addresses. I even got an Amazon gift card one time (I did not redeem it). A few times, it's gotten creepy (one guy has emailed me every few days for months, complimenting my photos in a weird-o sort of way and commenting upon my twitter posts).  

 
The thing is, if I don't reply... the person usually just tries once, twice... maybe three times. Then usually, he/she leaves me in peace. So why would I invite all of that aggravation, and open up communication with someone who could end up being a royal pain in the rear or worse? Because I am worried about being polite to some guy who is not a client, and never will be a client? So that I can waste my time arguing and explaining w/someone I am never even going to meet? Doesn't make sense.

VOO-doo227 reads

I'd been in contact w/him previously, and was not impressed by his conduct, to say the least. In this case, I had to reply because he requested an appt through p411. I politely asked him to browse elsewhere, and labeled him 'No see, no contact' on p411. He's emailed me asking me to reconsider. :-(  

Apparently, 'please respect my wishes' and 'please don't contact me again' are highly ambivalent phrases :-/

GaGambler222 reads

Will only be misconstrued as "being coy"  

It's a sad fact of life that you simply "can't be nice" to some people. Of course personally I don't find that problematic. lol

This is why I only send a request via a verification site. This way she knows my interest is legit and she can also see my history.  Let's her determine whether I'm the the type of client she would like to see.  Simplifies the process for both parties.

GaGambler226 reads

I do realize that providers are required to respond to P411 "appointment requests" and are not obligated to respond to PM's, but I still like reaching out through PM. I only make an "appointment request" when directed to by a provider I first reached out to via PM.

Like you, I tell her she is more than welcome to check out my profile and Okays before responding. Most often with P411, I get a response back in minutes, not in hours or days. That is minutes after she actually gets my PM that is, not all providers stay glued to their computers and it might take hours or even longer to actually get my PM, but the response from that point is almost always very quick

... when I have had to ask a question before booking.  

It's an all around nifty service that has paid for itself already in almost eliminating the "no reply" aggravation of regular emails and/or texts.

It certainly has paid for itself in the fact that my time isn't wasted.  It also is a bonus that many ladies don't openly post ads, but knowing they have a profile there lets me know she's legit.  

Thanks for the detailed response. I totally get it. I've met great women in this "world" and I'm still building an understanding of how to negotiate the terrain. Although I'd like to know the reason for a zero response, ultimately it really doesn't matter. It just feels crummy being ignored. I've only contacted her once since my initial letter and I guess I'll move on.

in advance are you trying to schedule an encounter. If the potential appointment is for a week or further out, I will wait 48 hours for a response. If the potential appointment is for a few days from now, then I will wait 24 hours before contacting provider B.

Some providers just don't do a great job of the customer service aspect of this biz.

Thanks for all the advice and support.

It must get tiresome for these ladies to receive countless emails, some legit others just fishing for conversation, about scheduling.  I'd say it is best business practice to at least respond back, but that's my opinion.  There are some rude assholes out there who may get a "sorry, can't see you" and take offense to it.  Not sure if it is advised or mandated practice for ladies to respond back to appointment requests, but I've had some just not respond back at all.  Unless you're in a pinch and gotta have it now, I'd say a good rule of thumb is 2 days. And maybe perhaps try again, but if that fails then move on.  

Side note:  I reached out to a lady once out of Baltimore and asked if she toured my area and she responded back rudely, needless to say that ruined any thought or chance of seeing her.  Sure as shit, she hits me up 4 months later saying she would be in my area.  Ugh, sorry, you fucked that up, not gonna happen.

ROGM196 reads

Move on to another provider. There are more than enough providers to play with.

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