Saw a new provider had a great time but since she delisted from TER for personal reasons I had nothing to go on. I spent too much time during the session asking is this OK etc .. I know every session is different with ever person YMMV applies .. So seeing the same lady again What is the best way to discuss boundaries without being horribly inappropriate?
Ladies your input especially appreciated... but the one that seems to work the best for me is a simple, "Are there any ground rules I should know about?" The answer has almost always been a smile and, "I'll let you know." Then as we continue, I segue slowly into new activities, watching for any vocal or physical indication that she's not comfortable. I'll also ask her if she has favorite positions or techniques.
Occasionally I see FBSM providers who have rather limited public menus. When reviews aren't clear about her boundaries, I'll ask specifically about whether an activity is ok with her before initiating it. (The "ask" might be with a look and/or motions, vs words.) But that might only be one or two queries a session and doesn't take much time at all.
for the first time. I follow it with, "the reason I ask is I saw a provider a few years ago who didn't like her ears kissed." The usual response is "really, followed by I will let you know if you get too close to the line."
honesty and openness should be the rule of the day.
I've asked many a gal on the first date if they are OK with things like COF, golden showers, etc. Oft times they were not and said so, oft times they were. On occasion a gal said no to something only to ask me to do it anyway.
Only one gal actually got angry at me for asking about COF, but she was no bargain anyway.
Ask and ye shall receive.
Just make sure to use some good tact and all should be okay in my opinion.
I think Honesty is appreciated more than anything, there's no need to feel shy or embarrased when speaking to a provider or vice versa imo and there's no real way to know without asking if it is not listed.. Personally, I would prefer someone be specific with what they like that is not considered "normal" and we go from there.
Thanks Yasmine... appreciate a providors point of view and guidance