Every once in a while I get a provider who I really want to see that wants my name and I'm uncomfortable giving it. Is my discomfort exaggerated? I don't have a SO to worry about and I'm not in a situation where if my name got out I'll be in trouble unless it's le.
Thanksbut if there is nothing she can really do to hurt you if she ever goes all BSC on you, is there really any harm in giving out your real name?
Like you, I am "blackmail proof" and as long as a lady doesn't make me feel like she is making me "jump through hoops" I don't mind giving out my real name at all. Even if she doesn't ask for it, it's still likely to come up in conversation, so for me at least it's no biggie.
Now for the guys who's lives could be totally ruined if it were to get out they were seeing hookers, my advice would be MUCH different, kind of a "do as I say, not as I do" kind of thing. lol, but it sounds like you don't really have much to worry about, so I really can't think of any good reason to keep your real name a secret in your situation
Why do you want to take a chance? Unless you're from boringtown in Fly-over-country, there should be plenty of choices around.
Perhaps, you might wanna run for public office one day OR you might lose prospective customers / business partners who might shy away dealing with someone of "questionable" ethics.
Edited for typos
-- Modified on 8/27/2017 6:28:55 PM
If you are self-employed and in a relationship situation where it would not really bother you if it ended...then the risk is not that high.
If you are a high profile person in an organization and you are at a stage where your relationship is critical for you then you cannot take the risk.
Not necessarily true! Even though I don't have any statistical data for the whole industry, I only came across one girl who knew about software for erasing data. The girl might think that she deleted clients' info on a laptop, but even an amateur can bring back all that supposedly deleted data in case of a stolen/lost device. Hanlon's razor might be at work here aka "Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity."
Good point software for easing date.Delete data in case of stolen/lost device.... I don't have reviews because my clients don't want to write reviews on pay to play business its Illegal service. No free services with professionals.No professionals should be given no private information to no one.Professionals don't want clients giving out private information
Agreed. A lady could get busted and agree to sell out some guys, a ladies e-mail or website could get hacked and every guy who gave her his personal information could get exposed. There are a lot of risks.
Ok granted, the risks are "reasonably low" but the risks of a hooker being killed are a LOT lower and I don't see anyone making light of those risks.
The risks of having your personal information used against you are low, but real. Speaking strictly for myself, I can attest to the fact that people will use, or at least "attempt to use" your personal information against you for the most insignificant reasons, even including not liking the things you say on an internet fuck board like TER.
PLEASE stop trying to minimize the very real risks of someone either "outing" a guy or otherwise using his personal information against him. It happens, and it happens a LOT more often than people here like to admit.
giving out your personal info to a well reviewed provider who does thorough screening than seeing a gal who does little or no screening. In the former, there is a very low chance of having that info used against you, that's true. But in the latter you stand a decent chance of running up to either a flake, or worse, LE.
Each can decide on their own which way they want to go, but deserve to hear both sides of the question.
There are tons of ways to screen without using personal info and the majority of providers who screen use those methods.
I agree with GaGambler. If someone is "bulletproof" no harm in giving up whatever he wants. If someone has a lot to lose if he is outed, then he should not give out personal info, EVEN to well reviewed providers.
Agree. Folks pay good money for P411 and other services. The whole point of using those services is so that you don't have to provide your personal information. Many ladies will claim to require personal information, but once you attempt to set up a multi-hour appointment for a few thousand dollars they tend to change their minds.
and see plenty of married guys. So I disagree with you.. Sometimes I really think some of you guys really don't get it. I'm not in the minority here. Most ladies I know do require full names. Sure every once in a while a gentleman and I don't meetbecause he is unwilling to give me his last name. So far this year this has happened a total of two times!
And for newbies who will have to be screened by alternative measures, yes ladies are requiring full names. Honestly sometimes I wonder about some of the advice coming from the gents on this boards to the newbs. If they want to see reviewed ladies with a presence on TER, um yeah, IMO they will be asked for personal info from most ladies here.
Steph XO
But you ARE in the minority. There are many many more providers that don't require real info, than those that do. Now I won't say only a "few" require that info like the other poster said, but it is definitely a minority.
I have always said that every provider has a right to ask for whatever she feels is necessary to stay safe. However every client has the right to give out only as much info as he feels safe giving. That does not mean trying to circumvent a provider's screening or begging her or arguing with her to make an exception. It means finding a provider who is ok with the info he (or she) is willing to give.
Maybe not in the minority of hookers who are active on TER, but most definitely in the minority of hookers that have P 411 profiles. I have seen HUNDREDS of P 411 hookers, obviously a number much higher than you could know, and of the several hundred providers I have met through P 411 less than ten, much less than ten, have ever asked for my real name as part of their screening.
Steph, as a provider you will undoubtedly meet more johns in a year than I will in a lifetime, but conversely, as a "high volume" john, I am going to meet several times more hookers than you are ever going to know.
PS, myself and many of the other guys are giving advice to the newbie "clients" that are asking this question. When the question is posed by a new provider asking if she should ask for real life info, our answers are geared towards HER needs, not ours.
The fact of the matter is, a guy could get on P 411, see a different hooker every day for six months and NEVER be asked for his real name. I know you would prefer that it NOT be that way, but don't shoot the messenger. It is what it is.
Many ladies use P411 as a layer of verifying a potential new client. You have no way of knowing I'm in the minority of ladies or not. And for Newbies wanting to see reviewed ladies yes alternative ways of verifying usually include info like a real name.
Steph
-- Modified on 9/9/2017 5:22:48 PM
No fair trying to change the subject to "Newbies" the fact of the matter is that although a vocal minority of providers active on the boards are trying to change the narrative that "most" P 411 providers share their views, the fact of the matter is that out of about 500 providers I have booked through P 411 only around 1% of them have ever mentioned asking for anything else above and beyond checking out my profile and perhaps quietly contacting some of my "okays"
My experience is hardly unique, there have been many guys, also with hundreds of P 411 sessions under their belts who have stated the very same thing as me, that virtually all of their dates were made by simply providing their P 411 info to the providers they have booked with. Is this only anecdotal evidence? yes it is, but the sample size I am talking about numbers in the thousands, while you can only speak for the small handful of other provider in your circle. The numbers speak for themselves and the evidence is overwhelming.
Why shouldn't the same logic apply to guys? If he is a well-established TER or P411 member, then ladies should have nothing to be concerned about.
life could become public some day and you don't want the media to be able to find any dirt.
As others have said, only give out what you are comfortable with giving out. The internet is forever.
who want personal info. I've found that most do but that's coming from my experiences with the ladies I know. I do require full names.
Steph XO
discretion isn't the same as anonymity.
I agree. I know quite a few that require full names. I personally won't see anyone without multiple very good references from established providers. Newbies get upset with me because they will offer to send photo ID or anything else for verification but I need references to make me feel comfortable. If someone has a great list of refs I'm fine without all his personal info. I'm ok with the fact my requirements don't match with some guys comfort zones. I'm not going to be a good match with everyone and it's silly if everyone is not as comfortable as possible going into a first meeting.
Just say no. A vast majority will see you based on just good references.
To suggest that the only reason we'd need that info is to blackmail you or fuck with your personal life is asinine. It's up to you to choose who you'd like to see based on their verification requirements, but to accuse all of us (on the newbie board, no less) who require personal info of having nefarious intentions is unfair and lame. That's akin to me coming on here and saying that the only reason a guy would choose to be anonymous is because they intend to rape us, rob us, kick our asses, etc. Come on now.
I talk about this requirement all the time and it comes down to personal safety.
I've been physically hurt, stalked, and threatened. Obviously, I seek to prevent these things from happening again.
Having someone's real name does NOT prevent such occurrences, but it does give me more recourse if/when they happen.
And, hopefully, makes the true predators think twice before seeing me.
If a P411 or TER Whitelisted person were to do any of the above, are these sites going to give me his information so I can press charges? If they even have it?
Goodness only knows, and I'm not about to roll those dice, hoping for the best.
Not when I have no trouble filling my schedule with those who WILL comply with my real-name policy. 
That being said, I do not advocate screening via real-world info only, nor do I have any negative opinions of those who are uncomfortable giving their names. I've never attempted to badger or cajole anyone into giving me what I require.
And I usually manage a polite reply to those asking if I'm flexible on that, offering alternatives, or even flat-out begging me to make an exception. Not always lol, but usually.
-- Modified on 9/10/2017 10:10:32 AM
With a 411 profile and multiple reviews on TER, there has not been a need for me to give out my name to anyone.
In future,
Your situation can change,
The provider's state of mind can change
What will you do then? My opinion is that this is a risk best left alone.
I stay away from providers that need full name, license copy etc etc.
If they cannot work with 411 with tens of okays and TER reviews then that is their issue. It does not have to be my issue.
Unless 'little head' is hell bent on ploughing in that provider in which case people forget all about rules and precautions
Agree. For most guys, there should be no need to provide personal information.
Probably only a very small percentage of ladies require it (1-2%) if you have references.
Too many fish in the sea.
Guys can get set up by hookers.
Many ladies also reinvent themselves because they either went BSC or did something stupid.
Established or well-reviewed providers go BSC, too. The get bitter, cynical, and even despise what they do or some of the clients that they see. Some get jealous.
There is arguably just as much risk that a hooker is going to stalk a client as there is that a client is going to stalk a hooker (which is rarely discussed). A lady that you have seen may reach out to you, and you may make up an excuse not to see her, and then she may find out that you saw someone else and be pissed. Some ladies will watch to see who you review and what other ladies you see. Some will access your P411 profile without any reason to see if you saw another lady around the time that you told her that you couldn't see her. They can get emotional, irrational, and retaliate.
This is a business where there are a lot of emotions involved, which can impair judgment. Even with established providers or ladies that have been in the business for a while. Happens a lot as they get older, less attractive, and have fewer people telling them how beautiful they are and attempting to schedule appointments.
Since we can not see into the future, we can't forsee all potential problems. I feel it's best to minimize our risk by not taking any action that may increase it. Although the potential risk is low, I would not give out my real name. Why take the chance?
If you are uncomfortable providing personal information, you need to seek providers who do not screen.
By seeing providers who do not screen, you will get exposure to unsafe practices, unprofessional treatment, and be roped into an LE sting. Use your head, the one with the brain in it, if you have one. LE does not screen. They don't make it difficult to lure you into their trap. They offer cheap prices, use explicit language to get you to agree to x for $ and then they get your real name when they handcuff you.
If you want to play the game safely, you have to be screened. To minimize impact of potentially giving your information to the wrong person look for reputable provider who you can trust with your information. Reputable providers have some or all of the following: Reviews, a website, social media such as Twitter and Instagram, and have a history of posting on boards. Its not that hard to judge a provider's character and decide if you are comfortable with them handling your personal information. You would have figured this out by now if you weren't so lazy to do your research.
Wow... You're making a quantum leap from "not providing personal info to the provider" to "seeing providers who don't screen." This is a newbie forum so why not simply stop browbeating a newbie into BS?
Screenwriters based off of these replies.
Providers are allowed to have their rules to meet and if you are comfortable with what is asked of you provide it. If not then continue your search, simple.
You guys truly underestimate the amount of men with records who contact us but nope we are just conniving b****** just waiting to ruin your lives.
I support your position. Everyone has to assess their own risk level. It depends on your position in life and the quality of the women you are picking. The way I see it, is in many instances the women who are more on the high end also have something to lose so the chances of them "outing" you are very slim. If you see lower end cheaper women then you might get blackmailed. I think like most things in life you have to use your judgment and you get what you pay for.
Be that as it may.
Why would one be forced to give out personal information? That is what 411 is for, isn't it?
Of course the understanding has always been give out what one is comfortable with.
But think hard before giving you personal information because once it is out then no matter what your situation changes to in future, you cannot pull it back in even if you'd like to very much. For me, it is not something that I'm willing to do. But to each his/her own.
There are plenty of providers who accept 411 and okays. The first couple might be tough but as I mentioned in another post detailing my newbie experience, one just needs to look for providers that are well reviewed, newbie friendly and accept new 411 members with no personal information.
The girls I have seen have required my full name, which upon arrival they have check my ID in every case. If the girl in question has a personal website, then go check to see what they require to screen you, and verify you are you.
I like using a couple different verification sites that have been previously have been mentioned to you. This way the verification process is already taken care of for me and makes it easier for both sides. I would heavily suggest that you go and get membership if you have not done so already to some of those sites. There are more than out there to belong to and I made sure before even starting hobbying to have two.
I am bullet proof as have been mentioned by other and looks like you are as well. You have no need to worry in this case unless it LE. Doing good research on your chosen girl should eliminate a lot of this discomfort for you.