Newbie - FAQ

Got to agree with my fellow mongers mrfisher and GaG; this . . .
keystonekid 114 Reviews 308 reads
posted

hobbyist is bad news. Why take the risk of setting up a date with him since he could eventually be forwarding your emails to other providers in a similar fashion.

I'm not new to massage, but I am sort of new to TER- I've been a member for years but didn't use it much until recently. I have been wondering about a specific subject for a while now and I'm glad to have a forum in which to post about it.
What is up with potential clients trying to bypass the verification process by sending me an email conversation between them and another provider?? That seems rude and to me, and eschews the discretion I need. I don't like the idea of a client sending our PRIVATE conversations to other providers, for many reasons, one being my safety and another being... just because a client has an email confirming our first appointment DOES NOT mean I will see him again or refer to him to another provider- if he was rude or physically threatening, or shorted me, that's not going to be in the original email.
Do providers actually accept these email threads as confirmation? I certainly don't...

I've never heard of that. It seems like such an idiotic thing to do, it's hard to imagine anyone actually doing it.  But there's all kind of people out there, even idiots, yes?

I hope you let the other provider know her private email chain was shared with you and then put the jerk who did it on your DNS list, block their email, etc.

and do the other provider a favor and let her know this dimwit has compromised her safety so she can deal with him also.

All he had to do was contact the other provider and ask her for a reference.  Either he's too lazy and uncouth to do that or he can't get those references anymore.  

Either way, he's bad news.

GaGambler259 reads

Unfortunately you can't fix stupid, so your best bet is to notify the other lady that her private emails have been compromised by this douche bag and then block him,  put him on your personal DNS list and have nothing further to do with him.

If he can't be discreet, why would I see him?

Why wouldn't he go and do the same to me?

Thankfully, he didn't send me any emails, only offered to, which I instantly declined. I have had a few guys just send me email threads, and I always refuse to honor the "reference" and I refuse to see them, and I notify the other providers. I'm glad to hear people agree with me and my discomfort with this weird practice, I thought maybe I was just being a ninny.  
Anyways- he ended up being verified by an honest-to-goodness provider who says he's weird but harmless, I ought to let her know he's doing this. Such a weird thing to do, would these idiots like it if we started indiscriminately passing their private emails around? I think not!

hobbyist is bad news. Why take the risk of setting up a date with him since he could eventually be forwarding your emails to other providers in a similar fashion.

I have never heard of it myself, but on the other hand am not surprised. A lot of people do really stupid things. That definitely falls under that category. Delete and ignore.

I never heard of that, and it's one of the stupidest things I ever heard. I think you're right to not see him.

contact me for an appt I ask for screening info/references.The guy forwards me email correspondence between a provider and himself.This is not cool for a guy to do this.I have seen provider's private incall locations unpublished phone# all in the emails.Instead of just providing me the references names and contact info there is no reason to forward private conversations to another provider.It also does not mean she did in fact see him.
Funny how some guys bring up a provider keeping his personal info and having an issue with it but have no problem keeping old emails with private personal info and sharing it with another provider.

Tell us all who it is! And most DEFINITELY tell the provider who's private info was leaked. We all need to know who the unsafe idiots are and help each other out. Kind of like when hobbyists get ripped off or scammed...it's not cool and everyone should be warned and get that person on some sort of a DNS list. UGH. I'm usually cool with corresponding only via email if someone's references and/or verification check out. This makes me think I should stop doing that.  

-- Modified on 5/5/2017 11:35:18 AM

I don't know the client's TER handle or if he's even on here.
He did not actually send me anything, he OFFERED to, which I instantly declined. I told him I would not in ANY circumstances honor that as a reference and I told him that's a very bad practice. He replied something along the lines of "that's fair" so hopefully he agrees that sending email chains is a huge violation of other providers' privacy!

GaGambler242 reads

Just like he violated her privacy, you just committed one of TER's most cardinal sins. "Revealing personal information" of another member is about the most serious transgression you can commit here.  

Revealing his handle would have been permissible, but email addies, "real" names etc of other members are NEVER to be revealed on a public board. Someone please put a muzzle on this girl for her own good.

GaGambler196 reads

In her unedited post she posts his real name AND posts his email addy, both serious no no's on the boards.

-- Modified on 5/9/2017 9:47:36 AM

I am sad to say that a lot of members of this community do not understand either term.  I have had all kinds of emails forwarded to me and I have no doubt that mine have gone out as well.    

So don't expect it to change. But maybe one person will see it and react the way you want.

Register Now!