Newbie - FAQ

Bait & Switch (B&S)
Paydirt123456 9 Reviews 3405 reads
posted

You find an ad for a gal on Backpage: she lists incall 1 hr $150.  You call and set up appointment, arrive at her hotel, hand over the donation, and get undressed.  She has you lie down for massage.  Eventually, you ask her to blow you, and she plays the B&S on you.  She tells you the $150 was for massage and so forth, if you wanted full service the price was $500.  How should you handle the situation?  (GaGambler, I know you got me on this!!!)

The first way you take care this is search TER. I searched your question and its asked a lot in different ways. Answered a lot also but usually the same way. Second way you fix this is stay off Backpage. Finally last way to fix this is get dressed go to car, go home and masturbate. Then when you thinking with the right head, search TER for a well reviewed provider.  

 
Why would anyone use Backpage? What do you expect to get for $150 hour?  

 
Christine

Actually, Christina, if one does their research, bp does have quite a few gems. One my favorites advertises there, and she's $150 for fs.

Some providers I have looked at are on Backpage AND TER.

Of course I am sure there are many, and did you look reviews and see if it say bait and switch. I think I am trying to say why use Backpage when you can see reviews on TER.  

 
Christine

Of course. I would feel very uncomfortable seeing someone who was not reviewed.

The story ends with subject on table naked with a gal who just pulled a B&S.  I'm sure going on TER is not the First thing to do...(thanks for response though, I mean that)

I think what I am saying is best way to handle it, is not to be foolish enough to be in that situation to begin with.

 
I am usually a pretty simple straight forward girl. Nothing special, just simple. But since you go into details so will I. You post this on TER, the only people who can see it are TER. Since you do not say guy is idiot and has no access to TER or reviews and you ask here, then you want answer from guys who are here. The only answer you can get are from people who have access to reviews and should never have been foolish enough to get in that situation to begin with.

 
I still stand by what I say. Don't be foolish to begin with. But if you are that foolish then get dressed and leave. Be grateful that you did not get played little by little. Ohh you want me topless extra , ohhh you want to touch, extra, ohh you want  me all naked, extra. Ohh you want FS, extra, extra,extra.  

 
So you have full answer to begin with. Even I give you two real options. Option one don't go to begin with. Option two, get dressed and leave. I close this with reminding you I am girl not guy. So maybe if I was a guy I would look at it different.  

 
Christine

He may not listen though. Bait and Switch is when you see a real hot girl in the ad, and when you go there or she shows up, it is a different girl.  Same advice applies, leave.  The OP is describing an upsell.  Your advice apples as well.  Stop and leave.

Sorry, you are 100% correct: we can't put ourselves in bad situations such as the one as I described, if we do it's our damn fault.  There's TER providing credibility to the hobby industry, background checks, reviews, etc...wasn't the point of the thread.

I was curious what the consensus was regarding the proper way for a hobbyist to react in this situation?  Just put on clothes and walk out?  Pay the extra money if you have it and just get off already?  Call customer service and demand a refund?

One thing there'll never be a shortage of is stupid men who think with the little-head (yeah, me too, I've been ripped off like the story above).  I'm thinking, from a public safety perspective, it's helpful to generate a consensus on the proper way to handle the situation, I mean literally handle it, not getting into it doesn't apply, though it is the right thing to do

If you start on BP, ALWAYS cross check on TER. If you start on TER (as many of us do), and end up on BP, go back and double check TER to make sure about the situation you might be getting into.  
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If the person in the story doesn't know about TER and is just reading BP, he should still just get up and leave, even tho' you don't provide enough detail. I -ASSUME- the ad was for massage and the guy -ASSUMED- it meant more. That's why you check TER first, BEFORE making an appointment.
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And perfectstorm is also right: what you describe is not B&S, it is upsell.

What you do is put on your clothes and walk out, if you somehow managed to get in that position in the first place. Of course what you really do is stick to well reviewed providers and not get into that situation in the first place.

What did the ad promise to deliver for $150?  Did it say anything about a BJ?  Or did it only mention "massage"?  If the only promise was a massage or sensual version thereof, IMO the OP had three valid choices:

1.  Stay and get the services included in the advertised rate. Chalk it up to a lesson learned, maybe write a review about his experience to educate others on what NOT to do,  
2.  Pay the upsell charge that the provider requested, or
3.  Negotiate a lower upcharge for the extra service(s) he wanted. Since this was an upsell situation, I think negotiation is fine.  

Simply leaving was not fair to the provider, assuming her ad didn't overstate what she was offering for $150 and also assuming you weren't saying that the OP should leave but let her keep the $150.

GaGambler123 reads

He had already tendered the $150, his only way of getting that $150 back would be to physically take it back, and I guarantee you, an upselling bitch like what he described is NOT going to give him a penny back without a fight, and that is simply not an option over $150

and do you "really" think a BP ad promised anything but a "good time"? Come on, how long have you been here, there is no such thing as a BP ad promising a BJ,  Sex on BP ads is only "implied" never overtly stated, it doesn't make her upselling any less dishonest. This is an illegal business, "truth in advertising" does not apply here. He is not about to report her for "false advertising"  What the ad actually promised is completely irrelevant here. He knows it was an upsell, she knows it was an upsell, we all know it was an upsell. Let's not get pedantic here.

Then my opinion holds:  it's bad advice to say the OP should have got up and left.  Yes, that's his right, but all that does is justify the provider's upselling behavior:  "Haha, I got $150 and didn't have to do anything."  Why not get a massage and whatever else $150 buys?  Or better yet, negotiate.  

I've been in that situation before, a few years ago, except I did some research first to ensure the provider was legit i.e. not LE.  And the fee was about the same as I pay for a therapeutic 1 hour massage.  So I went into it knowing I might only get a massage out of it, and there might be an upsell, but I was ok with that possibility.  And there was an upsell.  Except all I had on me extra was $20. :)  I offered that to the provider, who btw was very nice looking, and she accepted... maybe because I was respectful and polite the whole time, who knows.  So I had a nice time for what it would have cost me for a regular massage plus tip.  

The moral of the story is, never assume you'll get services that aren't advertised, reviewed, or otherwise documented beforehand.  And if you assume that and get the upsell, it's on you, not on the provider.  (And needless to say, YMMV still applies, as it always does in p4p.)

Amazing the pains I must go through to have the simple question understood.  
OK, so this is "Up-selling", FS doesn't get provided for $150.
Let's change that number to $300.  All the other facts of the story remain constant.  Then what do you do?

... here's what I would do:  I would steer clear of someone advertising on BP and charging $300 without having some review history on her from reputable reviewer(s).

If you don't like my answer, too bad. You asked for it, you got it.  

As I said, this is on you, fella.  Next time, do your homework.  And don't blame the provider if she doesn't do what you simply assumed she'd do for $150.

Must feel so good exerting more energy in avoiding a simple question rather than answering it.
And no, you didn't answer it.  I'm not getting an answer I don't like, I'm not getting an answer.
All that stuff about research, background checks, screening process, blah blah blah...is nice, also irrelevant to this topic.
Yes, I get to say your answer's irrelevant cause I asked the question.  
     
    What is relevant is the topic I've presented: if you find yourself naked in a hotel room with a provider, having already tendered $150 (or call it $300 to make u happy), and then discover she won't blow you without another $200, what should you do?

... because you're having trouble reading. I already answered your question re what you should have done, and what I would have done, at the $150 level.  At $300 I wouldn't have been there to have to make that choice.  What I would do then is avoid that mistake.  

It's like asking someone what they'd do if they put a loaded pistol to their head and pulled the trigger.  Better to not put yourself in that situation at all than wonder after the fact what to do.  

It's crazy, but I'll leave that off the board here.  Correct, don't put yourself in bad situations, I'm with you.  Wasn't sure about it at first, but I actually liked the loaded handgun analogy, that was pretty cool.

    I'll learn how to phrase questions better.  I'm coming from public safety perspective.  There's robbery, fraud, violence, etc..in this hobby of ours.  People have passion and emotions in forming their opinions, which makes them, you know, "people."  Glad we have our forum

Posted By: Paydirt123456
.  I'm coming from public safety perspective.  There's robbery, fraud, violence, etc..in this hobby of ours.  People have passion and emotions in forming their opinions, which makes them, you know, "people."  Glad we have our forum
This raises an issue I have been thinking about when reading this thread.  Because of the fear of something bad going down, I would not find myself bringing an extra $350 to a date.  Maybe I am paranoid but I leave my wallet with credit cards in the car (or if it is outcall in the hotel room safe) and only bring enough extra cash for a tip or a $100 trip to the isles upsell.  So I never really have the option to drop another $200+.

I don't know if it's paranoia, but in general having cash is a bad thing: once it's lost, it's gone forever, you're right to take precautions.  

...if she doesn't do what you simply assumed she'd do for $150."  So you're ok with up-selling?

... in many marketplaces, not just p4p.  

It happens frequently when a deal is offered that's TGTBT.   A smart shopper will recognize those situations and either be prepared for an upsell, or choose to minimize the upsell risk and move on to another provider of services who may charge more but is much less likely to upsell.

All he said was that she offered incall for $150. We don't know what else the ad implied. We don't know where he found the ad. Was it under the massage section or the escort section? (I know BP doesn't have an escort section now, but they used to and we don't know when this happened.) Anyway I made an assumption based on his brief post.  

You and GaG are correct in that there was also the option of staying and receiving the massage. I just took the post as one of those typical Vegas agency scam upsells (although those are almost always outcall), where the ad implies full service but the girl shows up and says it's just a show up fee. It cost x more to get topless, x more to get bottomless, x more for a lapdance, etc. and the $200 date is $1000 before you know it. Lol.

Anyway, I don't know if I was "wrong"  per say, but I am definitely guilty of making assumptions based on an OP that was lacking a lot of info. 😊

-- Modified on 6/25/2017 12:49:06 PM

..one who clearly answered the question (ChristineGFE sorta...)

    "What you do is put on your clothes and walk out"

Thank you for your response.  That's what I did.  There are those who'd say I was a pu#?y for doing so, I say if you'r the toughest man in the universe you still walk out.  And yes, don't put yourself in such a situation.

You're all right, I didn't give enough detail.  There's gray area and more details to interpret the situation as a B&S (which it would be if there was a promise for the services) or an Up-sell (which it would be if there was Not a promise for the services).  

I'm not writing my graduate thesis: I was looking for opinions on how a Gent should handle such a situation.  While obviously correct, suggesting he not put himself in the situation in the 1st place was counterproductive

Actually you have been given good advice (again) even though most of it didn't answer the question you asked. That fact doesn't change the fact that the advice itself wasn't spot on.

 
First off, let me repeat the good advice you've been given so far, and add a bit to it. Finding a girl on BP is not in itself such a bad thing, but seeing a BP girl that has no reviews was your major error. If you stick to girls with reviews your chances of ever finding yourself in such a position is almost nil.

 
Ok, back to your question. you actually have three choices IMHO, although one of them I would never advise as it "rewards bad behavior" Two of them you have already suggested, you "could" pony over the extra money and get your BJ, but then you are ruining it for the next ten guys that call her as you have reinforced it in her mind that she has a successful marketing concept. You could just get up, put your clothes on and walk, or you could lay there for every minute of the hour you paid for and try to enjoy the overpriced massage you have coming. Personally, "if" I ever were to find myself in your position, most likely I would enjoy the massage and at least make her work for the hundred and fifty bucks I gave her.

 
You are correct about being a "tough guy" there is no upside to trying to "take your money" back. It's easy to talk tough like that, but the reality is, only a fool is going to get into a physical altercation with a hooker over $150. Although If you will remind me someday, I have a great story about a puta in CR who promised me a "free" session, tried to steal my money and went BSC when I stole it back from her. It was fucking hilarious, but a story for another time.

 
Hopefully the lesson you have learned was "don't see unreviewed providers" no matter where you find them, whether that be Eros, BP or anywhere else for that matter with the "possible" exception of P411

If I had to do over again, I wouldn't say the Gent found her on BP, I would've said he found her on TER, and she had awesome reviews.  Obviously, chances of that actually happening aren't great, but it was damn near impossible to focus people on the point: what to do in that situation?!?!  I thought it was a worthy topic to communicate.  Happy we're in agreement on it not being wise to get into a fight.

I'll remind you someday to tell me the story, my mind is zapped, didn't sleep last night again, gotta get around to that soon and I'm crazy busy the next couple weeks.  Thanks for your post

i thought you were concerned for her safety?

At least you get something for your $.

It ain't fun negotiating when your pissed off and probably not in the mood anymore.

Kind of same thing happened to me twice.(both BP)

First one about 6 or 7 yrs ago, my very first call to a gal on BP.  About 3:30 in the morn.  Her ad said 200 for the hour and she looked great.  She drove to my buddy's apartment and came in and said 200 was just to get her there....  3 for hj, 4 for BJ, and 5 for fs.
I didn't have that much and damn sure would never pay 3 for a hj.  She was very hot and wasn't really mean or anything, just wanted more than her ad stated.... I didn't know what to do, so I basically said I couldn't pay that much and she left. I had put the 200 on the dresser and just knew that she grabbed it on her way out, but she didn't.
 (2 hundred dollar bills in plain sight.)

2nd time was in Vegas.  She shows up, not the girl in the BP ad, and I have the 200 on the table.  She grabs it, then goes to the bathroom.  I'm on the bed in my underwear and she comes out, in only a G string and jumps on top of me and sais "ok honey, how much do you want to spend?".....  I'm like wtf??? I just gave you 2.....  She does the same shit and said that's just to get her there...  I had more money, but was pissed and dissapionted in her looks, and didn't even want anything by then.  She goes back in the bathroom, and comes out fully dressed and on the phone saying "no, he don't have the money" and walks out...

I wanted to do harmful things to her, but I just pictured the security camera footage of me running down the hall, in my skivys, and "clotheslineing" this bitch would not look good for me in court. And 200 bucks is not worth ANY TYPE OF BULLSHIT like that.

So basically you can't really do much.

These were not massage ads, so its a little different, but similar.

 I have a couple buddies that would have handled it very differently. But they got bigger balls than me.....lol

No more BP for me.

But, it is usually a little scary for me to pay up front when seeing a new lady.....  And there's a lot more than 2 bills on the table.

I like to be very up front and know exactly what the deal is from the start....  Up selling and negotiating is a real "turn off" for me. But discussing rates and services is a "no no" with providers that you haven't seen before.
Reviews help a lot.

Moral of the story:  
200 dosen't go very far in this business.....lol

Good luck out there!!!

Bb

Thanks man, sorry it happened to you, we're not alone unfortunately.  Sorry for not being specific, I didn't say it was a massage ad, I didn't say it was an escort ad, I just left it to assumption.  

As both a BP and a TER peruser, I feel your pain.  I have found some gems on BP, but I have also found some upsellers, bait and switchers, etc...  Knowing what I know now, all I can say is do as much research as possible to set yourself up for success.  I have and still do find many ladies in my area that provide FS for $150.  The thing with BP is, no-one is held accountable for up-selling and if the provider is reviewed and knows about it, she switches numbers/names and scams more people.  I recall a few times that I have seen ladies that offered "massages" and before I know it I was getting sucked off BBBJ style.  On the flip side, I have went into other sessions with similar advertising expecting more and not gotten the same results.  

Truthfully, unless you want to chance causing a scene, once the money is in her hands or stowed away then there is not much that can be done.  Being that most hobbyists would rather cut their losses and move on, hookers on BP know this and rely on this to as false sense of security.  There are local boards for the majority of cities that help out with info on non-reviewed TER ladies.  PM for info.

Thanks man, I'm with you: cut your losses and move on.  Sucks, happened more than once, but glad we're in agreement: no need to escalate situation, we all have too much to lose.

i think we hit Paydirt!!!!

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